[Wart's Scrapbook] Under the Looking Glass

[Wart]

Oh ma gosh I'm posting twice on my scrapbook in a row with little time in between!

So all I've been posting here is really either school inspired or school related or something brought up. In school. Most of I think is interesting which is of course why I want to share it but it sucks. Because it is all I've been able to post since I've gotten back.

School is busy. Frustrating teachers and students (specifically ex-roomates who are incompetent and are now a teacher aid grading my papers wrong without any knowledge of the human language) are sucking away my muse and desire to do pretty much anything. And then of course I get just enough inspiration and enthusiasm to finish one of my 3d modeling assignments, only to have the program crash on me twice by the end of it, making me want to do nothing but throw my laptop out my window.

"So what is this a ranting post or what?" Yes. Sort of. It's me saying I'm finally getting caught up, particularly in my modeling class which is the one giving me the most problems right now. I have a ton of experience in photoshop and illustrator, and I thought maybe that would help me to learn Maya, but I was wrong. Very wrong. And of course the teacher knows it backwards, sideways, inside out, and inverted. Meaning he's at the point where he's forgotten what it's like not to know anything about the program and his teaching is going far too fast for most of the class.

Anyway I'm alive, and I'll be getting jump started on activity here by this weekend.

Also if anyone here has experience in Maya and can give me tips, they'd be so much appreciated. <3

And if anyone's curious:
This is my current progress of a model of my laptop keyboard.

[Wart]

Done.

And just in time for a school holiday. I'm going to get nothing done today aside from so much sleep.
And then writing. so much writing.

[Wart]

This is a rant. There is nothing constructive or intelligent here. I'm just unhappy. :

I was gonna write something else. Heck I Did write something else. I thought it would distract me but I just can't anymore. So here's my rant. I promise this will be the only one for a good long time. I don't like feeling like this, so things will be positive after this.

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. I will be the first to admit that. I overreact to little things and automatically assume the worst. I have a headache = tumor and I must be dying. It's a little more than ridiculous. Of course the internet and WebMD don't make things like this any better with their lists of terminal illnesses and the wide range of possible symptoms.

But then you know what also makes hypochondria worse? Being right.

In the 5th grade my elementary school teacher told us his awful experience with appendicitis and the fact that his father wouldn't believe something was wrong until his mom forced him to take him to the hospital. Since this story I had this horrible constant fear in the back of my mind that this would happen.

Then a few years ago it did. I woke up one Saturday, ate a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and a half hour later was on the floor in pain. This wasn't a 'girl' cramp kind of pain, this wasn't bloating, stomach flu, no this was actual physical pain. I ended up on the floor of the bathroom sick because it hurt so much. And my dad just stood there.

"You're fine." "Get up and clean your room." "It's just a cramp." "It's just gas." "Quit over exaggerating." Maybe this sounds like a boy who cried wolf situation, and maybe that would make sense if I had ever done something like this before. Yes I've panicked over something I thought was wrong but I've always kept it to myself. I had never given him reason to doubt me like this.

Two hours. I sat on the floor for two hours before he agreed to take me to an emergency care center. To sum up the story - they finally told me to go to the ER immediately, I did, and ended up in surgery that night to get rid of a very inflamed appendix.

What's the point of this? Well it keeps happening. "I need glasses." "No you don't. You're making up **** because you want to look like your friends."
*Goes to get drivers permit, takes eye test* "Excuse me sir does she have glasses?" "No." "Well she needs them."
*Goes to eye doctor* "Yeah you need glasses, PS your eyes will get worse until you're 27."

I used a particular soap in the shower and my face, arms, legs, and stomach all broke out into a red rash. "Dad I'm allergic to this soap." "No, you're not." "...?!?!?"

It's so freaking aggravating. But it would be bearable, I would move on and ignore it, if it weren't for what he says when I'm around.

I've always known milk makes me sick, but only when I was 18 did I actually go and figure out for sure that I'm lactose intolerant. And now when I go back home for breaks I don't hear "How have you been" or "We missed you," now, its "Hey want ice cream? Oh that's right you're still pretending milk hurts you." Or at the dinner table, in front of my whole extended family, "Isn't Theo almost 18? He better be careful, once you turn 18 you suddenly become allergic to milk."

The jabs at my appearance, my weight, my interests, none of it was already enough. Clearly adding this on top of it is completely necessary.

I posted a picture of this cake I made on Facebook. I guess it was stupid to do but I burned the last one so I was happy this one was okay. What do I get? A long text about how he was showing everyone how I'm still eating stuff with dairy even though I "shouldn't be able to." How his coworker's wife is really lactose intolerant and saying that it's pathetic that I'd make this up.

There wasn't even milk in the cake. Not even butter. I used vegetable oil.

I have so much on my plate right now, so much stress to deal with, and he just feels the need to do this to me.

Hell I wish I were even surprised anymore. He calls about my grades and threatens me with withdrawing all of his funding for tuition if I get bad ones. He hasn't contributed a cent. I'm entirely on student loans. I point this out and the next week I find out he's been calling the Student Life woman apparently telling her terrible things about me that made her worried enough to send a resident assistant to go talk to me.

Maybe this doesn't belong here. It really isn't like I'm making anyone read it. I just want it off my chest because I feel like I'm just going to keep crying if I don't. I wish I could disown him. I wish I could cut all ties from home and just live my life like he doesn't exist. Unfortunately my siblings are all there and I can't help but keep in touch and check on them. I worry so much about them having to deal with his crap.

Anyway... On a lighter note. The cake was really good. It looked a bit absurd, but it was tasty and I guess that's what matters.

[Wart]

Poking At the Misuse of Default Fonts
**Disclaimer, this will probably hurt your eyes**

Time to write a document.
Time to make a sign.
The words that will show who I am-
I've gotta make this text mine.

This can't be just any lettering,
I have to make sure I'm seen and heard.
First things first let's pick a font,
Let's open Microsoft Word.

See I don't need to find my own tools,
Don't need to scratch at some creative vault.
I don't need no graphic designer,
I'll just use the fonts that come by default.

Times new Roman - no that's just too boring.
Arial, nah those lines are too plain.
No one would use these for their text,
Gosh these fonts just all look the same.

But wait!

Ooh Papyrus!
I'm so sophisticated and new age.
I bet no ones ever thought of using this for their café,
Or for looking inspirational on a title page.

Or French script, look it's like cursive!

Hey Edwardian is even better!

Oh but wait you can't actually read this…

I'll just blow up every letter!

This one makes it looks like I've got style,

it definitely gives me some class,

It's like I'm royalty, writing a letter,

With a fashionable quill made of glass!

Aw hey-

Aw hey look at Curlz MT!
I could use this one for my picture on Pinterest!

Or even switch it out with Gigi

or Giddy up!
Everyone will definitely think I am the cutest. <3

Oh now here's something bold!
I definitely catch people's eyes with Broadway.
Clearly no one has ever used this before,
One look at this and everyone will be coming my way.




Okay so that's a no on Webdings.
I'm… I'm not touching that one again.

Oh Now this lifts my mood.
JOKERMAN, this is definitely aesthetically pleasing!
I can show off my light hearted side,
Say some funny stuff or use it for teasing.

Oh no. No no, this is the one.
I'm going to have so many fans!
I've found it guys, the search is over!

I will use Comic Sans!!

See it's like a mixture of everything!
It's readable and simple but fun!
Yes, I'm going to type everything with this!
Oh I am going to be loved by everyone.

[Wart]

Why I'm so behind on my everything

I have so much appreciation for 3D modelers. This looks so simple and it has taken me so long to get here. Especially that tread. I am literally having nightmares about this program and this project. Of course that's only on nights when I actually get a decent amount of sleep.

Two more days to finish this thing, and then I can breathe.

I never thought I'd be looking forward to going back to programming with C++ next quarter. I thought this would be just an art class, I thought I was gonna breeze right on through it. I don't know how people have patience for Maya, maybe 2014 edition has these dumb bugs from 2012 fixes but I won't get to know because this is what we get to use.

I wish I could think or write coherently. I feel bad for our English professor. All our class is able to think about now is n-gons and triangles all over the real world and stress about how someone got them to smooth correctly.

It's kind of interesting really how your whole thought process gets warped by doing a certain something for a long period of time.

Like when I first played minecraft I remember looked for ways to rearrange the "cubes" that made up the walls of my room. After my first java class I started thinking and dreaming according to java programming. For instance there was a fan blowing on my face and I didn't like it so I thought of ways to take in the air particles and reverse their direction variables, and then wondered if I could play with their movement methods and use things like sine and cosine with how they'd be set up and have some fun and mess with people. And now here I am, looking at the chair next to me and all of the holes in it and thinking what a pain that topography must be because you had to have booleaned a bunch of cylinders to be able to get all of those holes, not to mention that the whole thing is curved, but it's pretty clear the areas where they got lazy and didn't put edge loops and instead just let it smooth the way it wanted to.

It's especially interesting when you do that something so much you're losing sleep over it and you're too tired for your mind to immediately remind you that this is the real world, not a game or a bunch of code or a 3D model. And then you kind of have to mentally slap yourself in the face and tell yourself to stop it because you're driving yourself insane.

That's my last several months in a nutshell. Actually it's kind of my career path in a nutshell. I can't even imagine how weird my thought process is going to be by the time I graduate.

[Wart]

"I'm so happy, I could just rip out your intestines, and strangle ya with em!"

I've never been to a comic con. I've been to an anime convention, and a small one at that, but that's it. BUT now that my school has moved campuses, I'm literally a block away from the Salt Lake Comic Con this year. Which is awesome!

And of course, I'm cosplaying for it. Because why not. At least, I'm trying to, between homework. I've got two planned thus far:
A weeping angel (done but needs a couple fixes before I'm willing to wear it ever again)
Sheogorath (started not long ago, so much so much to do)

I was introduced to Oblivion (again something I wish I had more time for) and fell in love with the madgod who the Shivering Isles expansion revolves around. He's definitely an interesting character for me as I've always been interested in characters who tend away from sanity. At least, those who are done well, which seem to be pretty often overshadowed by those who aren't. His back story especially (*no spoilers here*) was interesting, if not a bit aggravating for how they made the whole quest line turn out. I definitely favor his portrayal in Oblivion over that in Skyrim, both appearance wide and in regards to the fact that he's much more involved and for longer. Which, of course, makes sense because of between-game-lore-related circumstances. (*again, I could rant on specifics for hours about the whole thing but I'm very much against spoilers, so I'll stop there.*) I've even got a Haskill! A friend accidentally agreed to being my lovely, sarcastically irate chamberlain. And he has agreed to work with me on being in character for the whole of our time there, so this will definitely be interesting.

Anyway I'm pretty freaking giddy with excitement, both for the cosplay and the convention itself. The next few weeks will be catching up some more here, getting the cosplay done, and of course getting homework out of the way so I don't have to stress the whole 3 days. Within that time I'll have Wart done tugging at my brain with her threads, my English papers done, and hopefully a reasonable looking cosplay. Finding the parts for which have proven more difficult than I expected, so... we'll see.