“I…No,” Wrenmae answered, shrugging helplessly, “You startled me, that’s all.”
“Uh…boss?” Zan piped from inside his stomach, “What are you-“
“Not in the mood, Zan,” Wrehnmae muttered to himself, “Keep out of it.”
A sigh. “As you wish. Don’t break anything, alright boyo? Maybe take your conversation somewhere more private?”
“I’ll talk where I want to, just be still for awhile.”
And Zan was, leaving only the emotional residue of worry between their mental link. Honestly, Zan was a hard one to figure out, even now.
“Talk to yourself much?” She giggled, and a hot flush burned Wrenmae’s cheeks. “Don’t worry,” she assured with a wink, “I won’t tell.”
“Thanks, I…I don’t really do it often. Sorry if it frightened you.” Again that shyness, a wall of bulwark between him and the person he used to be. The sudden urge for a tankard of mead curled his fingers into the shape of the handle, but there was no buffer to save him from this confrontation, no elixir to call upon the past. Instead he opened his mouth to continued, closed it, and sighed, looking down at his hands. Honestly. Hopeless.
“I’m fine,” she assured, waving a hand between them, “I’ve seen stranger habits in uglier men.” A laugh, like wind through chimes. It reminded him of the mountains. “Are you a student here?”
“Yes,” he answered, smiling, “I study magical theory and history.”
“I gathered the first from your little checkout,” one of her long fingers flipped at the closed cover of the book, “Writing a paper on overgiving?”
“Err, yeah,” Wrenmae lied, nodding vigorously, “Professor Rayage assigned it and I’m getting an early start.”
Another brief frown, “Where are your notes then,” She asked, raising an eyebrow, “Your material? Can you just remember all those details without writing them down?”
Too late Wrenmae recognized his mistake. She led him into a deception, threw him off balance, now he was caught in a difficult position. If he said he could, she’d no doubt quiz him on the contents. If he said no, he’d have to come up with another story. Worse, it would make him look like a liar already. Inside his own head he berated his lack of foresight. Outwardly, he froze, like one of the busts eerily holding vigil over the library.
“You’re a mage,” she whispered, putting a hand on his own, it was cold.“And you’re afraid you’ve overgiven.”
He remained frozen.
“Keep your secrets then, but I can’t help if you won’t talk, Egyptus.” She stood up, drawing the storyteller’s gaze with her. She had said it. Said his name, his REAL name. The name he had before Wrenmae, before Vayt, before all of this. His heart thudded against the inside of his body, throwing itself against his ribcage as if trying to break free, to escape. He felt sick again.
“I just wanted to introduce myself, Li, by the way, and see how you were doing.” She paused, tapping a finger against her chin, “You know, apart from that unfortunate bit of business with that girl at the Scholar Forum, you’ve been able to keep in pretty good control so far.” Her hands sprang together, clapping delightedly “Proud of you. But then, this isn’t anything like Sunberth, is it?” she bent near to his wide eyes, his pale face, “Do you even remember Sunberth?”
He didn’t answer.
“Well, I’m sure it’s none of my concern, but I wanted to offer a hand in your…troubles. I mean, if you’ll let me.” She stood up straight and tapped the book with her fist. “We’ll be in touch. Keep it together, huh? They’ll lock you up if they know.” She inclined her head at the librarian, giving Wrenmae an odd look and he followed her direction, swallowing.
When his eyes darted back to her, she was gone, leaving him almost alone in the library…or at least as alone as he was before.
The librarian returned to his work, casting a suspicious stare in his direction every once in a while. Nervous, his body on fire with popping muscles and spasms, Wrenmae scrabbled for the book and twitched back to where he found it. No one watched him from either side of the rows; no one stared in the spaces between books. The Overgiving book was jammed back into its place by uncertain hands, he tremor and slid to his knees. Who was she? Li? Had he spoken to her in Lhavit? How could she know his name? How could she know about overgiving? Did she know about the Blight? Too many unanswered questions and too much of a shock. It was never so clear how much he’d been hiding till now…all the misery and agony he brought. What he was. Ever since being tortured in Sunberth, he’d been focused on himself, on his struggles. His broken mind, his lost memories, his lack of conviction or purpose. Once upon a time he’d vowed to kill Vayt. Where was he now?
Reading? Plaguing students?
Tears pushed against his eyes, frustrated, angry things that struck hot against his skin before vanishing. By chance or fate, no one came upon him, no one disturbed him. Zan remained quiet and the world kept turning.
Somewhere, beyond the books, someone coughed. |