Summer 23, 512 AV
Dawn had long since come to Zeltiva’s shore, lapping off the gentle waves of water and onto the bay. Wrenmae was on the docks, had chosen one with only two ships floating quietly like sleeping beasts. It was a calm day, breeze came down from the hills and across the water. Zulrav breathed life into the ocean and it shimmered in response. The gradual sound of sailors cursing and calling traveled dock to dock and beyond. Everywhere seemed busy but here, a small piece of serenity carved into Zeltiva’s busy port. It was perfect. Wren reached into his pocket, pulling out a small piece of fabric, tied around the disk shapes of mizas. He picked at the knot, taking only a few moments to tear it away and open the small repository of gold rimmed coins. Running the pads of his thumbs against them, he let himself become entranced with the sun’s affinity for the rims, glancing off the edge and setting the little white circles aflame.
The first among the chosen mizas dangled between two fingers before he tossed it out into the surf. End over end it spun, a brief flickering trail before vanishing in the shadow of short-lived waves.
“Passage to the beyond,” Wrenmae whispered, tossing another, “I’m not sure if Dira or Lhex accepts coin, but it’s the least I can do.” A small smile touched the corners of his mouth and a third followed the second into the surf. “Hey, Dad,” He began with a breath and a sigh, “Here I am again, tossing coins somewhere pointless.” Wrenmae chuckled, it was short lived, “You’d throttle me, I think.” It was true. The elder Murdock man was a hard-nosed trader. No miza was expendable without every other possibility exhausted. Old fellow could have built himself a throne of the things with his frugal habits. Instead he built himself an unmarked tomb among the white-capped peaks of Kalea.
He’d never gotten to say goodbye.
“I wonder if you’re still out there,” the storyteller muttered, tossing a fourth coin out into a cresting wave, “Looking for Alvadas. Well, if you find it, let me know huh? I’d still…”
A hitch caught his throat and he swallowed it down, “I’d still like to see if what you said was true, talking gate and all that.” Grinning, Wrenmae wiped the beginning of moisture from his eyes. “You always knew how to tell a story. Maybe that’s where I get it.” There was no answer from the water or air, no whispered message, no sign. There never was. Even so, this pointless ritual had become something of a consistent reminder to the young man. His sins weren’t known, not really anyways. He and Zan carried those secrets and so coin by coin…he bought his innocence.
His father was a merchant, certainly there was a price.
“Things are…harder than last we spoke,” The mage shifted uncomfortably, “I overdid it, Dad, bad this time. Not sure how I’m still alive, but somehow I crawled out of that dungeon.” The torturer…no memory on how he’d escaped. What happened? Where had he shattered? “I think…I think I’m mad. I think I’m another one of those crazy mages people warned their kids about. I can’t remember anything. Not entire seasons. Bits and pieces.” He slid down and pushed his feet off the end of the dock, dropping another coin into the sea. “Maybe that’s justice, right? Punishment for my crimes? But I…” he shook his head, “Not really your style, Dad. You were more heavy handed than that. Kick my petching arse from here all the way back to Syliras.” He tucked his chin down on his knees, “I wonder if mom’s still there. You never told me much about her…I wonder if you would have when I was ready. Maybe you still will.” Another coin, the sixth, and it slipped out of sight, bobbing for a moment before slipping away into shadow.
“Tell Markus and Elana I’m sorry, huh? I mean, I don’t think they’ll listen to me.” A lie. His sister always listened to him. Her gentle soul was the understanding he missed. Zan could never be her. There would be no one like her. “I just…please make sure they’re alight. I don’t know how much control you have, Dad, but if you can, have her come back happy. I miss her.” He breathed, “I miss all of you. Eleven years now. You think memories would fade after a while, right?” Wrenmae shook his head and swallowed another hitch, “Funny, mine never seem to.”
“Need a hug?” Zan, always a bubbly interruption, buzzed from his belt, "Cause I don't so much hug as immerse, but hey, why not show you army-fleshy-humans things that even a shapeless familiar can hug". The flask of water exploded briefly and the ever shifting shape of the familiar spun around in front of the mage, settling over the mizas. Through his body they warped and bent, always bright, always beckoning. “Hey buddy boy, this isn’t exactly helping things. Come on, we could go somewhere, do something. I dunno, beats throwing money at the ocean and talking to someone who isn’t around, right?”
“Anyone you care about ever die, Zan?” Wrenmae asked, looking out at the horizon, quiet, distant.
“My home plane isn’t exactly Zeltiva-safe, buddy,” Zan muttered, “Sure, couple of friends aren’t around anymore. It happens. Don’t let it hold ya back.”
“I don’t,” he answered with certainty, “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
“Then why are we here?”
A moment of silence “I like to think they can hear me, wherever they are.” He kicked his feet out over the water, bringing them out and back, out and back. “I was a kid a long time ago, kinda still am. I have so much to still learn and my mind is already in tatters.” Wrenmae bounced another miza in his hand, flipping it around while watching the water ripple beneath his swinging feet. “You know, I would have done this in the winter…but I don’t remember most of it.”
“Ah, yeah, that.” The familiar seemed uncomfortable, “Well, don’t let me interrupt then.” It slipped away from him, slipping back down into a pocket and returning to its sealed shape. Wrenmae let him go. Zan wasn’t suited for that kind of thought, that kind of reflection.
“Anyway, Dad, thanks. I know I don’t say this enough, but I don’t know what might have become of me if you hadn’t kept me with you. I know I was a piece of shyke for money and trading, but you still always made sure I knew you loved me. I just wanted to let you know…that I miss you.” The ocean breeze smelled like tar and fish, salty and stinging his nose. Wrenmae looked down at the miza in his hand, flipped it between his fingers, “Fairer paths and better sales next time around, huh?”
He tossed the seventh and final coin into the water, slipping the other coins into his pocket and standing. For a moment he just looked out at the water, the way it moved up and down, like a swarm of tiny pointed chests rising and falling with miniscule breath.
Summer again, and it had been a hard year. Next year might be harder. But for now, he was himself, he was alive. And he had made peace with his family…at least for the year he missed. Wrenmae raised a hand, waving at the sea reluctantly before turning down the dock.
The breeze caught his neck and shoulders like heavy arms and Wrenmae smiled. It may have been nothing, but he chose to believe his father had put his hewn hands on his son’s shoulder…if only for a moment. That he had heard.
And that...That was enough to make the storyteller feel lighter. |