by Imass on August 16th, 2012, 9:58 pm
"Now turn your attention to the sensations of the body... the weight of your body sitting on the floor...feel the rhythmic sensation of breathing... feel the air on your skin... feel the sensation of being here right now..." the instructor continued leading the two adolescents deeper into the meditative trance. His voice was now slightly deeper in order to pierce deeper into the minds of both Naeya and Imass, however it would be impossible for the novices to hear this.
Imass tried his hardest to follow his instructor's directions on point. He continued to breath deep. He was good at breathing already and meditative inhalation was one of his strong points. Albeit meditative breathing was something easily learned, this was one less thing Imass had to worry about during this training. The Akalak boy tried to feel the weight of his body press into the floor, but he only felt his presence on the floor. He tried to feel the air on his skin, but each time he tried his mind wandered again. Imass was trying way too hard to follow the directions of the instructor.
The elder Akalak would continue to train these youngster though. He knew it would be very difficult for them to completely detach, "These sensations bring you to this present moment... be awake and alert... eyes remain open and relaxed... your eyes remain still... your eyes do not wander... notice everything in your whole field of vision at the same time... see everything, but focus on nothing... as your eyes wander to any specific point in the room, blink once to unfocused your vision... if you focus on a thought, return to the experience of the whole field..."
Although the would-be-warrior's mind was not racing, it was far from perfect and absolute quietness. He couldn't help trying to sneak a look at Naeya who was sitting next to him. When this happened, he tried not to think about it and he blinked slowly to reset his vision. This technique worked for a few seconds at a time, but not much longer. Having complete vision of the room actually began to hurt his eyes. For the short amount of time he was able to look with total vision, he felt great, but it quickly became too much to bare; his vision became burly and his temples became uncomfortable. Imass' thoughts always returned to the instructor's words though. They were the foundation for the whole experience.
It seemed as if the instructor knew exactly what Imass was thinking because he began to address the issues that the children were having, "If you focus on a thought think of your body sitting here... blink to reset your vision... your attention becomes steady as it sees the whole field... remain conscious and aware... notice the sounds around you... sounds come to you without any effort to you on any part... sounds appear, linger for a while, then simply fade away... the sounds just fade away and nothing needs to be done... a thought may arise in the mind... it lingers for a while then simply fades... moments of quiet appear may appear when there is no thought at all... allow the sensation of a quiet mind to remain and grow larger..."
As random clattering thoughts entered Imass' brain he turned his attention back to the room and everything around him. He tried to think of what was going on during the present time. The problem was that the moment he tried to abandon this random thought, the thought of actually trying to let them go entered his mind. This would in turn make him think of his surroundings and what the instructor was speaking. It was only then, for a few seconds he would achieve this state of awareness, but ultimately it leads him back to another thought. It was a circle that he was desperately trying to escape. The more he tried though, the harder it got, and eventually he stopped trying. When he stopped trying this actually allowed him to have a quiet mind and awareness, but the moment this happened another thought entered his mind.
Meditation was not as easy as it seems and the instructor knew that so he explained the Naeya and Imass how to make thoughts leave the mind, "As you are sitting here you may forget and become attached to a thought... let the thought go and rest again in the quiet mind... you will notice a cycle of forgetting and remembering, it will happen again and again, becoming forgetful as the attention attaches to thoughts, then remembering again and resting in a quiet mind... a quiet mind restores balance to your mind, body, and life... your inner environment and the world around responds anew to a quiet mind... along with this new feeling of a quiet mind, observe a feeling of gratitude... gratitude develops receptivity and deepens this experience..."
That was the key! Once he achieved a quiet mind, Imass needed to have gratitude and thanks. If that was the thought that entered his mind, then he would be able to minimize the mental clatter. Instead of several thoughts leading to a few seconds of bliss, only one or two thoughts would lead to that moment of living the present. That moment of harmony. Despite having realized this, Imass was having trouble actually executing it. So he returned back to his original problem. He was making progress though.
The Akalak warrior continued to breathe deeply and waited for the next instructions.