14th Summer 512 AV
The summer mornings were nice…The breeze was calm before the sun rose over the horizon; the perfect time to just get lost in thought. Which was in a way what Serrif was going to do. It was good to be alone at times, able to aimlessly walk about in your own thoughts to help sort them out. It was exactly what he needed to do right now. He had decisions to make, ones that involved him setting away from this place that he had finally started to feel somewhat a part of.
He really didn’t want to leave a place he was finally feeling part of; it would be like Mura all over again. He hated leaving Mura…and wanted to go back eventually. But he couldn’t until he finished this charge by the Order. But maybe, just maybe there were other reasons for the charge. All this time he knew he didn’t belong in Mura; not really. It was so peaceful compared to everything he could be. He had healed up some, had the fractures lifted from his bones by the Goddess herself…it was the beginning of this journey out to the world. And only if he ventured out would he actually be able to face his demons again.
Then he would know who he was what he was and if he could stand shoulders square and be something good instead of out for revenge. Although that part of him still existed he had learned that it always would. There was really nothing he could do about that fact; he would have to learn just to live with it. He knew it was there, and that was the first step on a very long road. One he would have to walk, but that didn’t mean he would have to do it all alone. He feared if he did it alone he would lose himself again, tread off the path and slip away from who he wanted to be.
His mind swam with thoughts. If he didn’t leave NOW he would have to wait another year before heading to Wind Reach. But there were definite advantages to this. He could train more for the brutal trip that lay ahead of him. He had heard stories of how plenty of people perished on the unmarked paths toward the city…and how some had waited a little to long and perished in the winter, never to be heard from again. None survived the winter…none.
The brutal truth was he didn’t feel anywhere near ready, but if Rak’keli herself asked him to go he would never question her motives. However it seemed like this charge was more at his leisure than anything so he would take his time and prepare himself appropriately. He also wanted to get to know his possible traveling companion Ishara a little better. She was beautiful, but a completely different culture than he was. He wanted to know her a little better and it seemed he got a little closer to her with every story she told…there was much to consider and much to prepare for. And right now…he was ready for none of it.
All this time he was walking about the upper area like an almost lost animal; because he was indeed pretty lost in his mind. He knew what he had to do but had no way of doing it yet. There was much to consider and the fact was The Sanctuary was becoming a home for him now. He served a purpose here, he was part of this place. And he didn’t want to sever ties and undo the work he had done here. He wanted to build trust, strong unshakable trust that only came with time. And time was indeed one thing that worked against his race. He needed more of it but was only given so much. And like an hourglass each and every gain of sand was another moment gone never to be retrieved again.
