Closed A Memorable Performance (Poison)

[Nissabella Rose]

Poor Nissabella flushed bright scarlet, and her shoulders slumped lower and lower under the onslaught of Avarys' questions until her entire being seemed to droop with mortification. Her movements as she obediently turned to close the dressing room door were stiffer than was her wont, and her face when she looked back toward him held an expression of deep chagrin. "I…I don't know what I expected to happen now," she answered with complete candor. "I didn't think that far ahead. I…I've always been told I don't really think ahead. I just feel. And act." Her cheeks turned an even deeper red, if that were possible. "I guess I thought that it would turn out like in the stories. You know, I would say 'I love you,' and the atmosphere would become incredibly romantic, and then…and then we'd melt into each other's arms and kiss." The last word was pronounced almost in a whisper. It was true; she was still young enough and innocent enough that most of her dreams of romantic love stopped at a kiss from the beloved and never went farther than a Chevas mark. Nissabella had heard from her dead Benshira friend of the physical indignities between men and women, of course. In her mind, though, those practices were not at all associated with love, but quite the opposite. They had nothing to do with the overwhelming attraction she felt toward Avarys, the warm, melting sensation that came over her if he so much as glanced in her direction, or the way her spirits lifted and her heart sang at the mere sight of him. "I know how ridiculous it sounds," she went on, her voice rising higher. "I know it probably isn't wise or prudent for me to feel the way I do about you. I have heard the rumors about you; it's not hard, when people wink and snigger whenever your name comes up. I don't know if they're true or not, if you and your sister…" Nissabella paused, her cheeks flaming. After a few moments, she recovered enough to continue, "But they certainly don't paint a picture of you as the sort of man that would be wise to fall in love with. But when is love ever wise? When does it ever think of what other people say?" Under his unrelenting gaze, she could feel herself beginning to tremble. With a fierce effort, she forced her body to sink into a relaxed, tranquil state, unclenching every muscle and drawing herself up straight. The last thing Nissabella wanted was to appear weak or unsophisticated in Avarys' eyes. He must think her such a fool, though at least he admitted that she wasn't as shameless or fixated as Soraya Orchid. She should never have come into his dressing room, she was beginning to realize, but now that she was here, she might as well attempt to plead her case well. "All I know for certain," she said at last, "is that you are the handsomest man I have ever seen. But it's not just your face, or your violet eyes, or your dancer's body. It's because you really are an artist, a genius. And you know it, too." This she said with a hint of wry humor, the corner of her mouth curving upward. "It's not just that you're beautiful. But you make things beautiful as well. You make dancing look so easy and marvelous, even more than Kanasa does, like it's as effortless as breathing. You make us feel things when we see you dance, like when you improvised on the Symenestra man's role tonight and brought tears to my eyes." With a roughness in her voice that suggested she had never spoken this aloud before, she said, "You inspire me. You make me want to create beautiful dances, and music to go with them, and stories to give them meaning. You make the world more beautiful, just by being in it and smiling that little smile of yours… "That's all I know about you." Her hands clenched and unclenched slowly in the material of her desert-tunic costume. Suddenly, the feel of the filmy fabric in her fingers and her own words about dancing prompted a new idea to occur to her. Without thinking, only feeling--just as she'd said she always did--Nissabella acted upon it. Hesitantly, but as gracefully as she could, she extended a hand to Avarys. "Oh, but I do know one more thing. I won't ask you to love me back or marry me. But I know that I've wanted one thing from you ever since that audition in the spring. "I want to dance with you again. Just you and me. Will you please?"

[Poison]

„Sometimes acting on your feelings isn’t a bad thing“, Avarys admitted. „But in this case …“ He decided not to continue as he didn’t want to offend her. There was something about Nissabella Rose that he found interesting, despite the fact that she had acted like a foolish little girl. She had some potential. „Things rarely turn out like in the stories. Besides I have very little interest in being the protagonist of a cliche love story and play the part of the stereotypical bad guy who falls in love with the innocent young maiden who eventually saves his soul. That would get boring after a while. Don’t you agree? Wouldn’t you prefer something a little more exciting?“

„No, feeling the way you do probably isn’t prudent“, he agreed. „But feelings are rarely prudent. And she’s not my sister, Alessa, that is. Although we grew up in the same house, we are first cousins. We have been lovers since we were both fifteen, although our feelings for each other haven’t been as strong recently – or at least her feelings for me. Alessa would like to get married and start a family one day, and the people of Kalinor seem to have an issue with my becoming her husband. They are narrowminded, don’t you agree?“

„My dear Alessa has decided not to fight them with me, but start looking at other men.“ The expression on his face was neutral as if he didn’t care about that at all, but there was a hint of bitterness in his voice. He had always been faithful to Alessa. She had always been the only one for him.

„Oh yes, I’m handsome“, he agreed and laughed. „But it’s good that you don’t just appreciate me for my looks and don’t insist on getting married right away. I enjoy inspiring others, and I certainly wouldn’t mind a dance.“ He rose from his chair, took her hand and pulled her close.