They hadn't really... talked. Not since Vanator's first wife drove a rift between them. Kavala hadn't understood it. She'd wanted to like the woman, and have another sister to be close too. But the woman had wanted Vanator all to herself which had been a particularly difficult scenario when one was a first wife. And guarding him against a sister that one thought was a threat? Kavala had hated the woman upon first meeting and it had only gotten worse.
It had drove a rift between them that had only gotten worse with Bolden learning Vanator was his father and not his brother.
And so Kavala had left him to his life, understanding that things changed. People grew up and had their own problems. "I know Vanator. Believe me I know. Take all the time you need here and when you are ready, go ahead and start doing what you need doing. I'll give you the funds ahead of time for the armory so you can begin when you feel you want too whether it be this season or next or even the one after. Just, when you are ready. And not a moment before, okay?" She said softly. Kavala had no idea what Vanator had went through with the Zith, and unlike others she wouldn't refrain from asking him. She would ask him, because she understood unlike most others, that secrets festered and could kill you from within far easier than others could kill you with knives and spears and gossip.
When he asked about Akela, Kavala felt her eyes well with tears. "I miss her, Van. She was like my ultimate role model and the mother we got robbed of too young. But that Nikali mark was so harmful for her. When she came here she meshed to me with it and wanted to serve all my needs. My interests became her interests and she lost big pieces of who she was. I think she had to leave, ultimately, to work on her swordsmanship and exist away from us. To be her own person or at least find her own way. But Gods I miss her. I really do. And you know, in my heart of hearts I don't think she is alive anymore or at least not the person we once knew. If she is still out there, she's probably connected to someone, wanting to satisfy their needs, happy... " Kavala said, looking thoughtful.
Kavala wandered back to the hearth, poked at the fire to stir it back to life, and then settled on the couch leaving Van on his stool at the bar and his half empty plate. She knew he probably couldn't and shouldn't eat everything as hungry as they kept him as a prisoner if Zith reputations were to be believed. And he had lost weight, a lot of it, though he seemed to still have his muscle tone.
She stared into the fire for a moment, glanced at Vanator, and then slowly began talking. It was surprising for her, since she rarely confessed to anyone, either what she was thinking and what she was feeling. Kavala didn't have a real starting place, not really, but wandered a bit in her confessional. And almost instantly Vanator realized that's what it was. Ankal's were supposed to hear out their people. They were both sounding boards and confessionals and were trained to listen without judgement and to help their people unburden themselves when weighty things were on their mind.
And he realized the more she talked, that Kavala really had not told anyone anything about her life in years. And so she told him all about her slavery on the Sea of Grass. In graphic detail she outlined her capture and the third of the season what her life was like. She revealed to him being rescued by Riverfall and being placed in the Nakivak program. She told him of her first Talvis and how she'd put all her hopes and dreams on him and how he'd left her pregnant and alone. Then she'd had another Talvis, too soon after Tas' birth. And he'd shown up daily for her services, sometimes twice, and how that had ended with a brutal assault that had almost killed her but had ultimately freed her of her Nakivak status.
At that point she cried a little, namely because no one had ever asked her how she'd gotten free of it. Released by the Council because her Talvis had almost killed her. The tears were small ones and only shed because she'd came close to loosing her ability to care for Tasival.
Then she'd told him of being marked by Nysel, and being able to read Chavi's. And how as a Dreamwalker she'd discovered her past life and that she was born and raised to be a killer in an orgnazation called the Ruv'na that hated the gods... hated them with a passion. Crescent. Her name had been Crescent. And she'd been captured another Dreamwalker who had wiped her memories and planted new ones in her mind about having been raised by him and loving him and how he'd taken her as a wife and never gave her free will again. This didn't make her angry. It made her sad and she told Vanator why. The Cytali, the Dreamwalkers organization, was all she would have ever dreamed of being part of.
And she wanted it to live again, now that the Valterrian was passed. So she'd turned Sanctuary into a fortress, using the Djed storm to cover her activities and explain her paranoia. And she told him of how she learned magic, reimancy, and that' was how she'd built the whole place, hollowing it out of the cliff. She confessed to him how much she liked the magic, needed it, and how it had somewhat become her whole life at least until The Sanctuary was done. And she told him that original dreamwalker had been reborn again and was here, as Serrif, and that they were friends and he was going to help her rebuild the Cytali so they could use the Dreamwalking gifts to mine the past for more medical and magical information that had been lost throughout the years and via the Valterrian.
She kept rambling, telling him about the new breed of horses and how they'd all been born on the night of the djed storm and now they had shimmering iridescent coats and were super smart and that she was calling them The Denusk after the family she thought was all dead.
She got off track a few times, and sometimes she'd stop and say nothing.
Finally she told him about Ronan, how they'd met and connected and how she wanted desperately to love him, but he was so torn in all different directions. She told Vanator how Ronan had lost his family too and that since the Windsongs were gone, he'd shed his name and joined the Sunsingers, and the Watch and that there was nothing left for her, not really, and it broke her heart because she hoped at least this time there'd be someone for her.
Then she began to talk about Tasival, how gifted he was, and how worried she was that she wasn't doing a good job raising him. And that she was horribly worried that Tasival would have a terrible upbringing and resent her for not having a father or even a stable family.
Finally, she took a breath, paused, and stared at the hearth again.
"Now you know it all, Vanator." She said, turning to meet his gaze. "Tell me where you've been and what happened." She added. "You'll need to get it out. Believe me. Because if you don't, it will poison you alive from the inside out." She finished off, then finally paused. A full bell had gone by since she'd began talking.
It had drove a rift between them that had only gotten worse with Bolden learning Vanator was his father and not his brother.
And so Kavala had left him to his life, understanding that things changed. People grew up and had their own problems. "I know Vanator. Believe me I know. Take all the time you need here and when you are ready, go ahead and start doing what you need doing. I'll give you the funds ahead of time for the armory so you can begin when you feel you want too whether it be this season or next or even the one after. Just, when you are ready. And not a moment before, okay?" She said softly. Kavala had no idea what Vanator had went through with the Zith, and unlike others she wouldn't refrain from asking him. She would ask him, because she understood unlike most others, that secrets festered and could kill you from within far easier than others could kill you with knives and spears and gossip.
When he asked about Akela, Kavala felt her eyes well with tears. "I miss her, Van. She was like my ultimate role model and the mother we got robbed of too young. But that Nikali mark was so harmful for her. When she came here she meshed to me with it and wanted to serve all my needs. My interests became her interests and she lost big pieces of who she was. I think she had to leave, ultimately, to work on her swordsmanship and exist away from us. To be her own person or at least find her own way. But Gods I miss her. I really do. And you know, in my heart of hearts I don't think she is alive anymore or at least not the person we once knew. If she is still out there, she's probably connected to someone, wanting to satisfy their needs, happy... " Kavala said, looking thoughtful.
Kavala wandered back to the hearth, poked at the fire to stir it back to life, and then settled on the couch leaving Van on his stool at the bar and his half empty plate. She knew he probably couldn't and shouldn't eat everything as hungry as they kept him as a prisoner if Zith reputations were to be believed. And he had lost weight, a lot of it, though he seemed to still have his muscle tone.
She stared into the fire for a moment, glanced at Vanator, and then slowly began talking. It was surprising for her, since she rarely confessed to anyone, either what she was thinking and what she was feeling. Kavala didn't have a real starting place, not really, but wandered a bit in her confessional. And almost instantly Vanator realized that's what it was. Ankal's were supposed to hear out their people. They were both sounding boards and confessionals and were trained to listen without judgement and to help their people unburden themselves when weighty things were on their mind.
And he realized the more she talked, that Kavala really had not told anyone anything about her life in years. And so she told him all about her slavery on the Sea of Grass. In graphic detail she outlined her capture and the third of the season what her life was like. She revealed to him being rescued by Riverfall and being placed in the Nakivak program. She told him of her first Talvis and how she'd put all her hopes and dreams on him and how he'd left her pregnant and alone. Then she'd had another Talvis, too soon after Tas' birth. And he'd shown up daily for her services, sometimes twice, and how that had ended with a brutal assault that had almost killed her but had ultimately freed her of her Nakivak status.
At that point she cried a little, namely because no one had ever asked her how she'd gotten free of it. Released by the Council because her Talvis had almost killed her. The tears were small ones and only shed because she'd came close to loosing her ability to care for Tasival.
Then she'd told him of being marked by Nysel, and being able to read Chavi's. And how as a Dreamwalker she'd discovered her past life and that she was born and raised to be a killer in an orgnazation called the Ruv'na that hated the gods... hated them with a passion. Crescent. Her name had been Crescent. And she'd been captured another Dreamwalker who had wiped her memories and planted new ones in her mind about having been raised by him and loving him and how he'd taken her as a wife and never gave her free will again. This didn't make her angry. It made her sad and she told Vanator why. The Cytali, the Dreamwalkers organization, was all she would have ever dreamed of being part of.
And she wanted it to live again, now that the Valterrian was passed. So she'd turned Sanctuary into a fortress, using the Djed storm to cover her activities and explain her paranoia. And she told him of how she learned magic, reimancy, and that' was how she'd built the whole place, hollowing it out of the cliff. She confessed to him how much she liked the magic, needed it, and how it had somewhat become her whole life at least until The Sanctuary was done. And she told him that original dreamwalker had been reborn again and was here, as Serrif, and that they were friends and he was going to help her rebuild the Cytali so they could use the Dreamwalking gifts to mine the past for more medical and magical information that had been lost throughout the years and via the Valterrian.
She kept rambling, telling him about the new breed of horses and how they'd all been born on the night of the djed storm and now they had shimmering iridescent coats and were super smart and that she was calling them The Denusk after the family she thought was all dead.
She got off track a few times, and sometimes she'd stop and say nothing.
Finally she told him about Ronan, how they'd met and connected and how she wanted desperately to love him, but he was so torn in all different directions. She told Vanator how Ronan had lost his family too and that since the Windsongs were gone, he'd shed his name and joined the Sunsingers, and the Watch and that there was nothing left for her, not really, and it broke her heart because she hoped at least this time there'd be someone for her.
Then she began to talk about Tasival, how gifted he was, and how worried she was that she wasn't doing a good job raising him. And that she was horribly worried that Tasival would have a terrible upbringing and resent her for not having a father or even a stable family.
Finally, she took a breath, paused, and stared at the hearth again.
"Now you know it all, Vanator." She said, turning to meet his gaze. "Tell me where you've been and what happened." She added. "You'll need to get it out. Believe me. Because if you don't, it will poison you alive from the inside out." She finished off, then finally paused. A full bell had gone by since she'd began talking.