Closed The medicine woman (saha)

[Ximal]

22nd Fall 512AV

Having come back fromt eh event in the summer, Xi hadn't spoken to anyone of the group since that time, taking a little while to get over it. Still after the events of that Xi had begun to feel a little useless around a lot of things, now he thought he'd better seek out a teacher, someone who could instruct him on how to do the opposite of what he always did, now he needed to learn now to heal, to feel useful. Standing outside of the healers Xi clenched his hands feeling a little nervous over the incidents, and now he felt some what...Needy. Xi never relied on anyone he was always one to get his own way made if need be but right now he had to start somewhere he knew he could get a good standing. Now he'd sought out someone he'd trained for some training himself...But this was for the opposite reason she'd trained with him. Flexing his fingers nervously he knocked on the door slowly, rapping it gently with his knuckles before swallowing dryly. He'd rarely been this nervous but sahaskalia knew of his darker side, and he didn't exactly know how much she knew of him and the spirit of evil that hung around his head , like a halo of horror. An omen of ill will, and a pure corrosive force of malice. Taking a deep slow breath he waited outside of the door as a familiar voice crept into his mind again. Hello Xi Thinking about me again are we ? I fell so loved, now your on your way to go see that tasty little doctor woman aren't you ? Oh goody, it'll be fun to play with her again. Liro piss off i really don't need you right now and yes i'm going to see her, PURELY so i can get some healing knowledge, she's the best doctor i know... So excuse me if i don't let you have your twisted and petched up ways alright ? No that's not alright and once i get my strength back i'll take you over again!, it seems you've grown a little more resilliant to my controlling tactics. With that liro's voice ded down quietly as Xi stood quietly outside of the healers fumbling his hands over one another slowly attempting to try to calm his now slightly tugged nerves and to trhy and suppress liro's cloying influence.

[Sahashkalila]

The faint scratching of a quill across paper was all that could be heard in the small room that Kalila had to herself in the clinic. Stigandr was out for a walk, and she was taking the time to record the last leg of their journey across Taldera, a rather tedious task but something that she wanted to do for herself. She wanted to record all of her travels and adventures, something that she was exceeding in. Both of her notebooks were getting full, one full of notes and diagrams, the other full of writings and rough maps of the areas she had been in. Eventually she was going to have to get more notebooks, as well as get one for Stigandr to practice writing in as well. She would get around to it before they left the Spires and she dipped her quill into the ink pot once more, deciding to write about each of her companions.

A soft knock on her door made her look up from her work, wondering who it could have been. It couldn't have been Stigandr, he normally walked in on his own, seeing as it was his living space as well as hers. She had finished with her patients for the day as well, intending to check on them later in the night...unless perhaps something happened. A worried frown appeared on her and she reached up to touch the marks around her temples, accidentally smearing ink on her skin without noticing. She then got up from her chair and wiped her hands on a small towel, leaving her work and heading towards the door. 

Opening the door she looked up...and up, and realized it was Ximal, one of her traveling companions. She quickly glanced him over, seeing no apparent injury on him, but that did not make her worried frown disappear. "Ximal, iss everything alright?" she asked, opening the door wider and stepping back to allow him to pass through. "Come on in and I can take a look at whatever it iss."

[Ximal]

Xi Waited patiently rocking back and forth on his heels as the door in-front of him swung open, and saha stood there with a somewhat worried glance about his frame and the look of worry didn't fall as she saw there was nothing wrong. He shuffled his feet with a touch of nervousness, especially as the leeching voice of liro spread back into his head. He couldn't stop himself from noticing the smears of ink on her temples but that he'd being up soon enough, following her instruction, he headed in. He had too for lack of a better term. Walking in as she asked him too he began to speak about what was going on. "Everything is fine kalia thank you for inviting me in and youve got some ink on your temples. It's just i've been doing some thinking...Ever since the summer incident i've been thinking about what happened...And i've come to the conclusion that i need to be of more use simply fighting everything isn't the way to go forwards...I need to learn how to not only help people through my fists but through another method. And i came the the best doctor i know to learn that..." Lifting a hand up to his forehead he could feel himself not knowing how to do this and the clawing scratches of liro was making his mind cloudy. "Kalia i come to you because you know about the other side of me. I cant ask anyone else, i can't trust myself around them. I NEED to do this, i don't want to permanently go through this world harming every being i come in contact with. I am a fighter yes, i will never remove that from my standing it's ingrained deeply but i NEED to find a way to do more than just harm...Which is why i request, no beg for your help in this. Please teach me how to be more than just a tool for destruction." Curling his fists tighter he could feel the claws of liro digging into his head. Pulling him deeper and deeper into the darkness of insanity, the reason that bound him to control was fading... Darkness ? No insanity is true enlightenment, nothing is more true than knowing that everything you try will fail and everything is meaningless! Your soul s forfeit, i am the one who will control you. I will do what i set out to do. THIS IS MY BODY THE MOMENT YOU SLIP! Xio took a half step back, his hand now covering his face the clawing tendrils of liro eating away at his grip. He needed to learn, but perhaps he'd take a chance in this to learn exactly what liro was, was he part of him ? OR something else ? This nightmare had a deep hold on him and it was emanating off of him like a chill. Taking some long slow breaths he pushed liro back as if feeding his own fire to resist, his mind began to calm slowly as the fires of determination within him to control his own body regained and burned strongly, the thought of breaking under the burden of this insanity was not something he was going to do but he would endure. Lowering his hand again he looked kalia in the eyes a burtning rage of will now sitting within those dark midnight blue eyes. "Please Kalia, i need to do this, i NEED to be more than a weapon."

[Sahashkalila]

Kalila watched him closely as he stepped into the room, blushing slightly as he mentioned the ink on her face. She really had been focused on her work then. Sighing, she went back over to her desk and picked up the towel, wiping it across her temples thoroughly and listening to him silently as he spoke, her eyes resting on her notebook. Another wanted to learn medicine from her, but this time she was hesitant about her answer. She knew that something was wrong with him, not that she knew what, but there was something inside of him...like a fever of the mind that caused him to act differently than he should. She couldn't fix it, and had no idea where to start even if she did. Tampering with the mind was not something that she had any skill in.

Turning around to face him, she watched him carefully, noting the way that he seemed tense and breathed heavily, as if he was trying to keep himself in check while pleading to her. She was slightly suspicious of his motives behind asking her, wondering what exactly drove him despite his plea to be something more. How was she to know that he would use what she taught him for good? He could easily slip and lose control of himself, using the knowledge for more than what was intended. Medicine was a delicate practice, the lives of patients depended on the actions of the doctor, and one wrong slip could cause disaster. How was she to know that he wouldn't do it on purpose if he lost control?

She sighed deeply, folding her arms beneath her breasts as she regarded him. "You are my friend Ximal,"she began after a few moments of silence, her golden eyes searching his. "But I know that you are not alwaysss yoursself at timess. Medicine iss a delicate art, what can be ussed to heal can alsso be ussed to kill, and that kind of knowledge must never be taken lightly." She paused for a moment, taking the time to figure out how she wanted to phrase her words. She did not want to offend him, but she wanted to make her stance clear as well. "We both know you losse control, even though I don't know why. That part of you.....iss not good, and not one that I would trusts with the livess of otherss. How am I to know that what I may teach you....will not be ussed for harm?"

[Ximal]

Xi Listened to kalia's words...She was right She couldn't trust him...No-one could. A knowledge for good can also be a knowledge for evil. This fact was all to plain for him. Any skill that was learnt in order to help could always be turned to harm. If anyone understood that fact...It was him. Liro could turn anything he learned into a weapon against others. So Xi had to be very careful with anything he learnt. But She was right, Liro wasn't good and he would probably abuse it. The muscles in Xi's left arm tensed and bulged. She couldn't trust him around others. A delicate art needed a steady hand, and a steady hand needed a steady mind, something Xi was sorely lacking...As he began to speak he took a deep breath, and a step backwards. "You can't trust me, or rather you cant trust him. I wont honey my words and attempt to plead my standing. Mostly because you and i both know that it's not something i have much control over. You don't know nor do i give you any assurance that what i might be taught wont be used for harm...But Should he harm some one, i want the skills to be able to heal them. As far as i am concerned, i'm nothing more than a living weapon right now. I'm not sure that I'm right, but I hope you'll understand. The only way i can hold him back is to find out what he truly is. I never wanted to harm people, I've spent my whole life protecting them. But i cant control him, and for that i become a monster..." Xi's hand shot up to his face again blocking it from her view, as he fought of liro's tendrils of fire yet again, the burning fingers of cold hatred scraping at his mind. "Even now, i'm fighting him off. I'm doing everything within my power to try and hold him back. To stop him and because you know about him, i trust you enough to ask your your help. I make no promises about what he may do...But if that is not good enough, I'll leave and i wont bring this up again." He took a slow step towards the door, right now he knew that she wan't going to teach him and that it was a fools errand to even assume that she might. He couldn't be trusted when the lives of others were in his hands...His left had marred all but one of his eye's from view. The gritting of his teeth the clenching of his jaw, all the strain his face showed from trying to stave off the corruption of liro. The only thing that could be seen was the will in his left eye. "I'm sorry to have wasted your time with this...I know i can't be trusted...And it was a foolish thing to think that something so delicate, so easily turned might be taught to me. Kalia i'm sorry for asking and taking up these precious minutes. I'll leave. " He started to walk for the door, his right fist clenching at nothing.

[Sahashkalila]

"There iss only one monsster here Ximal, and it is not you,"she said with a snort, trying to make light of the situation that they were in. She knew he had his spells that he went through, and she walked over and grabbed his hand before he could walk out of her door. "Now don't be ssilly, I did not ssay that I would not teach you. I am ssimply expresssing my concernss." She then pulled him away from the door and sat him down on the bed, crossing her arms and looking down at him. He was dangerous and they both knew that, and so she had to choose her words carefully, not wishing to insult him but to make her point perfectly clear to him.

"What I teach you isss to be sstrictly ussed for the good of otherss and for yoursself sshould you find yoursself in a ssituation. You will not usse it for harm,"she said, her voice clipped and brooking no argument. "I will teach you bassic firsst aid and what you will find in the wilderness that will help you when you need it." She then paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing at him. "I know about your isssuess and whatever compulssion you are placed under. And I know there iss nothing I can do about it. But if I do find out that what I have taught you hass been ussed for other purpossess.....then there will be a problem between you and I. Do we undersstand each other?"

[Ximal]

Xi listened to the joke saha made and couldn't stop himself from smirking lightly before replying "Kalia your no more of a monster than you are a fighter. We both know that." As he was about to open up the door he felt her hand on his tugging him away from the exit. What was it about kalia that gave him a feeling of some what comfort...A light of easiness just wshing over him. Something she did well he had to admit. But still she was only expressing her concerns about what she was teaching him. He had to admit that this would be dangerous if used in the wrong hands. Xi took a deep breath as she lead him back across the room and over to the bed. Sitting him down like a big child. She stood of course looking own at him like a scolding parent. One thing he'd never had...He could feel her eye's weighing up her options over teaching him or not. Right now he was probably one of the most dangerous things in the spires, and giving him this knowledge would make him even more dangerous. Though she still decided to teach him but with the stipulation that he only use it for the good of himself and others not for harm...But what was harm? What was the worst he could do with medical knowledge. He did worse enough damage without it already. Xi sighed as he listened to her tone that wasn't a suggestion it was an order. He was FORCED to comply. Still she was going to teach him at least still that was something. Just the basics though. From there he could learn. Still her next words were cold...Almost icy in their delivery, not a scold, but more of a threat. They seemed odd coming from her. Still Xi thought to himself and then brought himself to say a response. "i agree with what you've said, if i use the knowledge to harm people i understand that there will be ramifications. However i would like to ask you one exception. As there is one person who i would like very much to put through as much pin as possible...The one who gave me the issue in the first place...Wrenmae." Xi's tone was clam and cool but every last syllable rang utter vengeance. If she said not then reluctantly he would agree. Mostly because the need for him to be more than just a tool for killing was greater than his want for revenge over a single man.

[Sahashkalila]

Kalila stared at him in silence for a few moments as she processed his request, realizing that the very man that he wished to do harm, had done harm to her as well. It was very tempting to allow him to do what he wished, especially since she had personal history with the mage. Her hand came up to absently touch the scars on her neck, the same places that she had gotten slashed with his knife when they met in the clearing all those months ago. She understood where he was coming from, although she didn't know what had been done to him to cause him to ask that kind of request. But the healer in her couldn't allow that sort of thing, no matter her personal feelings on the matter.

"I don't know what hasss transspired between you two to warrant that kind of requessst.....but the knowledge to heal iss to be ussed for all thosse who are in need. No matter what they may have done or who they are,"she siad quietly, moving to sit in her desk chair. "I know the man who you sspeak of, and I know that he....can sspark a great deal of anger. I have met him, and once wass enough." Her hand came up absently to touch the skin of her neck, anger sparking inside of her before she took a deep breath, her hands coming to rest in her lap again. "I will not ssay that I forbid you to do anything....but I would hope out of resspect for thisss art that you will only usse to help and heal."

She then turned to grab her notebook and open it, turning to her notes about basic first aid and then to grab her medicine bag and place it on the desk. "I ssaid I would teach you bassic firsst aid, sso letss sstart with bassic ssterilizing and bandaging a wound. I do not know how much you actually know, but I will jusst sstart at the beginning if that iss okay? Thiss will only be ussed for shallow cutss and scrapess, as well ass minor burnss." Here she paused to make sure that he was following her, pulling out various bottles and rolls of bandages.

[Ximal]

XI watched her motions, something about him had become sharper whilst he'd in the spires his ability to notice things had grown. Now he was seeing what little things and little flecks of emotion appeared. His ears had grown sharper and now he could pick out some small little flecks in peoples voices. What was her hand reachin for? was it sa nervous inflection a sudden reaction to a difficult situation he hadn't seen before ? Xi's eyes softened from their usual glare as he awaited a response from her. But the only thing her next words did was rekindle the searing flame of hatred towards him. Xi could feel his djed pulsing over his body aching to be sharpened to be set loose, to just break something. Still he constrained the pure vicious energy. Though her next words came as a surprise to him. She'd met him, then her hand raised back up to her neck again...He didn't. Did he? The deep breath was enough to confirm his suspicions, he'd never seen anyone take a breath that deep if they weren't exhausted , meditating , or trying to hold back anger. She wouldn't forbid him from using it, but she hoped that he wouldn't. Xi gritted his teeth before speaking again. "I wonder what happened between you then, after all you've been reaching towards you neck whilst mentioning what happened. What happened between you two? I know what happened with me and him. I wont use this knowledge against him...Not out of respect for it but out of respect for you. however i will combine it with what i already know to subdue people without killing them in the future." Now Xi listened to what she had to say about the healing arts She would teach him the basics, sterilizing and bandaging a wound. He already knew a little about this even if it was piss poor knowledge still he would keep silent and listen to what she asked of him. Shallow cuts, scrapes and minor burns. only the bare minimum damage. Xi took a deep breath but slowly like he was prone to do. He focused completely upon what she was telling him listening intently, he wouldn't miss anything, he was the one who asked her after all.

[Sahashkalila]

Kalila paused in the act of setting out another bottle, finally putting it down slowly on the desk at his inquiry. She remembered the day on the clearing as if it were yesterday, her anger towards it had lessened over time, however the memory still remained. She supposed it wouldn't hurt to tell him what had happened, seeing as the mage wasn't around now. "We...got into a sslight dissagreement back in Ssunberth, before we left to come here. I wasss forced to fight, and in the end we were both lucky to walk away with our livess. He hass been the only man that I have ever wanted to kill in cold blood, ssomething that I am not proud of.....but I wanted to devour him,"she said, staring at the bottle before turning to look at him. "But that wass a long time ago and you came here for a lessson, not sstoriess."

She then cleared her throat and stood up, suddenly reminded that the lesson she was about to give him was what she had given Stigandr some time ago. "What I have here are materialss that all healerss have on hand if available, ass thiss iss more for thosse who aren't working in the field. I have bandagess, a jar of honey, and a jar of ssugar. Thesse thingss may not sseem like they are a part of healing." She then paused for a moment and picked up her scalpel, setting it to the side before continuing and bringing the bottle of sugar forward. "Ssugar iss ussed to help sstop blood flow, as it helpss clot the blood and reducess bloodlosss during any ssorry of procedure. It doessn't hurt the patient and it will eventually disssolve and reduce pain. Which iss why you ssimply ssprinkle a little over the wound firsst." She then pushed the bottle aside and pulled the honey forward. "Honey, while deliciouss, iss alsso important to healing. Thiss preventss dirt and grime from getting into the wound ass well ass infection, if you sspread a thin layer over the wound after you ssprinkle the sugar. Then of coursse you wound bandage it up. Bandagess are your mosst important material, alwayss be frugal with it. You only usse ass much ass you abssolutely have to and no more."

She assumed that he had been following along fairly well, and intended to test to make sure he had been listening. "Alwayss remember the order, and alwayss remember to clean the wound firsst. If there iss dirt insside it, the wound will fesster and cause infection, which iss ssomething you don't want. Now,"she said, pulling out a rag and setting it next to the supplies and picking up the scalpel. She turned her hand over and looked at her palm, numerous scars there from the lessons she had given. She liked being a practical teacher, and so she quickly slid the scalpel across her palm, blood quickly beginning to well in her hand. "Letss ssee what you remember. There is warm water in the kettle over the fire and a ssmall bowl here for you."