PM to join Jitters [Kavala]

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

50th Fall 512AV

It was morning as usual and Serrif was sure any moment now Kavala would wake and go about her normal duties. She would wake before anyone…normally. And then start doing whatever it was that needed to be done around here. The list was never ending but that never changed everything; every day the list was the same. And he was sure it would remain so until he got everyone in the Sanctuary on board with what needed to happen around here. Kavala could not do it alone; and he would not let her. No matter how much she would insist on doing everything herself; and he knew she would be enraged at the idea. But she was not looking good and needed some rest, a day off.

But that would likely be asking too much. Her body had grown even more frail then he remembered. She had heavy nearly coal black bags under her eyes…and yet she kept on going strong. He knew she had drive but the physical body had its limits and you could only push so far before just completely breaking down. And that was what he was trying to avoid here. If she kept pumping res from her body and doing masonry like she had been the results would not be good. She had done glorious work in the past few weeks. Heck the last few seasons she had poured herself literally into this place to form every one of the structures.

However, the process was rushed because she wanted to recover from the storms quickly. And in doing so she had put herself at a risk. Yes, he knew it was one she was willing to take for the good of the Sanctuary staff. But someone had to look out for her; and being that he was the first to notice he would be the first to confront her about it. It would be a delicate procedure; but he would also have to treat her the same way she treated him. Bluntly. Because something told him that wish wash candy coated truth would not fly with her. She needed to be told exactly what was. And he figured he was as good a candidate as any to do it.

So he woke early, even earlier than she normally did. He knew where her room was. And he sat outside it in the Library; just waiting for her. It was only a moment of time really before she came out. And he would be waiting. On the table before him was an inkwell, writing quill and a chair for her. He had to channel his inner past self if he wanted to get this right. Tizack was a leader, one who could stand up to anyone and anything. That man, the man Serrif had discovered he had been and still was had been a wonderful leader. And if he wanted to pull the Cytali back together again he would need to be able to channel that man. And most of all his leadership and rhetoric. He had done it once and he could do it again.

In the meantime he was reading some of his notes making sure that they made sense to him, that he could follow them easily. But this was to pass time more than anything. His hearing was solely focused on that door and the very sounds it made. He would hear Kavala when she came out, and even if he did not he was sure that she would make some mention to him when she did. He would again have to handle this delicately, precisely and cut strategically if he was to do this. Even steady hands he had to be unshakable.

So he closed his eyes and focused on Tizacks memories. What he knew of this man, who he had been. He saw clearly almost how the man handled himself. How he stood, spoke…everything oozing confidence. Yes, that he could do. But could he talk the talk. Could he be gentle yet precise? Firm yet caring? This would be a test and if handled incorrectly it would be as embarrassing as his first encounter with her. Where she schooled him like a novice pupil tearing into him with the help of Raiha. But Raiha wasn’t here; but Kavala was dangerous by herself. And Serrif knew that. She was aware of her surroundings and how to get what she wanted. The instance in the Blue Bull rang a bell for him there. He needed to be careful; but he needed to make a stand for her. Because Gods only knew she wouldn’t do it for herself.

[Kavala]

Kavala was not the type that lingered in sleep too long. She came awake abruptly and shifted restlessly, a burning warmth at her side. Yawning, she opened her eyes, stretched and dislodged her young son from where he lay curled against her. She picked him up and carried him back to his own bed in the adjoining room, her suite being large enough to house space for Tasival until he grew old enough for his own quarters.

Kavala washed her face, not bothering to brush her hair, and thought about slipping into her leathers and boots. But it was still early, she could tell, and fighting a yawn she instead throw a warm sapphire wool robe half over her not bothering to fasten it and left her dark sapphire silk nightshirt on. The floor was cold but she didn't mind it on her bare feet. Kavala charted a course from one thrown rug to another before she cracked the door of her suite open and walked out into the study, blinking because the candles were lit which was unusual for that hour.

She planned on heading to the kitchen for some tea. Without it she wouldn't' have the energy to get going today like she needed too. Her list was fairly large that she needed to tackle, some of which involved more work to the Above. The Cowbarn had to be up before winter and there was more fencing to do. If there were more reimancers it would help enormously, but the Sunsingers hadn't stayed long enough to really do much in their short four day visit.

Could have, would have, should have.... Kavala yawned. It did no good to dwell on painful things. She instead focused on the pleasure of getting something accomplished. In fact, she was so focused on what she had going on that she failed to notice Serrif at all linger in the library. And even if he'd been watching for her he might not have noticed the quiet Konti half dressed with mussed hair heading for the kitchen and a tea kettle and a mug of tea with her name on it.

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

His attention was peaked as her door opened. And out slinked the rather frail looking Konti. Dressed in a nightgown and a wool robe she made her way almost haphazardly toward the kitchen. In her hand were a tea kettle and a mug with her name on it. This was her morning ritual which he was indeed going to interrupt. He had to be direct, Kavala didn’t usually appreciate flowery words; she didn’t have time to heed the useless.

“Morning Kavala.” He stood and walked with her to the kitchen. “Let me take care of that you take a seat.” It didn’t take much if any effort to wrestle the kettle from her hand. It was early and it was likely that she would just hand it over more than anything else.

He put water in the kettle and set it on a steady fire as he then looked to the now waking Kavala. He would smile then nod. “Kavala, I’m worried about you.” He stated plainly as he looked her right in the eyes, his concern for her clearly playing out across his features. He was strong in his statement, but the next one was even more precise.

“Ever since they left you’ve been conflicted and distraught. Pouring yourself even more into your work. And I’ve noticed a change in you physically. You are literally pouring yourself into these structures Kavala. If you continue there may be nothing left.” It wasn’t a warning, nor just a simple observation; they both knew it to be fact. She had been straining herself; if she was honest with him she would know it to be true as well. But would she? That was left to be seen.

However it was early and likely a little much for someone to comprehend before first light. But if he let her get going for the day she would continue to do so; unable to stop herself. And then she would continue on. He needed her to know he was looking out for her; that someone here was watching out for her health just like she did for her horses. Just like the rest of the family did for each other. Maybe others had noticed that Kavala was not well; perhaps Serrif was just the first to say anything. He was rather good at putting pieces together on such things.

“If I’ve noticed Kavala…you can bet your brother has as well.”

[Kavala]

Kavala glanced up at Serrif, startled. He'd never once offered to make tea for her and she was confused as to why he was doing so now. Stifling another yawn, she raised a snowy eyebrow and studied him intently. "Ever since they left? They who?" She asked, slightly confused. She needed to get going because there was too much to do. She watched him instead fill the kettle and put it on the fire, something she kept going a great deal of the time.

Kavala turned away from her and got down some cinnamon tea. She filled her little tea strainer and set it in her big earthenware mug and pulled out an apple and a pear to slice for breakfast along with some fresh baked bread.

"Serrif, didn't the Zith attack drive home to you just how important it is to get everything above done? We need this facility full operational. We just do. I can tough it out because it isn't forever. Its just for the next couple of seasons, then I'll be fine. We are all working hard. We are all tired. I'm no different than anyone else." She said, gesturing around.

"Cadra works endless hours here in the kitchen getting our supplies put up and cooking so people like me can have tea and bread when I want it.. How many training sessions does Vanator oversee a day? Even Aweston is grooming horses from sun up until sunset and only takes breaks for food. Gianne gives constant lessons, and Larik is on wing watching for more Zith relentlessly. We all work. We are all tired. It won't be like this forever. The clinic is busy this time of year, and all us healers are in it working. Winter is coming. We can rest them. You know this, Serrif. If we don't work hard now, we'll all freeze or starve in the winter. That's how it works here." She said gently, reasonably.

She wasn't going to get into Ronan, the Sunsingers, or even her mental state with him. Kavala didn't think it was any of his business that a Windsong turned Sunsinger could effect her so much that her heart was broken. Each thing she did, each action, each project completed represented to her a reason why someone would care ab it more or eventually find her worthy. And if that person was only a God, then so bed it.

But Serrif definitely didn't need to know that.

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

She did always have a good point for a discussion, but this wasn’t one to be had or that he could afford her winning. Her health was at stake here; the Sanctuary was at stake as well. If he allowed her to continue on this route working herself to the bone…there would be no sense in rest during the oncoming winter. They all worked; he knew it but none worked as hard as she did.

“Yes, we all do work tirelessly Kavala; it would be ignorant to assume otherwise. Rest is coming and the above needs to be done. Time is pressing Kavala but it is always pressing. Constantly forcing us to give more of ourselves. And you…you have given the most of all.” The water was boiling now so he went over and took it from the fire. He brought it over and poured her some warm water over her tea.

“Every ship has a captain, every pack an alpha, and we have you. You represent this place, you are this place. And if you are not well none of us are well either. We need you to be well, collected and at your best. And right now…right now you are not.” He sat down next to her and sighed. Would she be honest with him? Likely not, she would deny her physical condition. He had no idea that she was spiritually and emotionally broken. How could he?

“You’ve been through more than I could imagine Kavala…pouring yourself into this place will not fix it. It can’t fix it. You need to heal; sort through all of it. Go spend some time with your son. Walk down the beach some anything that takes you away from here. We can hold down the place for you. We will survive; but we will not survive if you work yourself into madness.” He was passionate and his concern obvious, she was this place to them. And without her…the entire Sanctuary would likely fall. She was it’s head.

“We all love you like one large family Kavala. We only want you to get centered again. But be honest with me Kavala, are you ok? I don’t need to know details; I just want to know will you be able to continue on like this.” He gave her a few moments and then laid a gentle hand on her shoulder almost like a caring older brother. Maybe he understood more than he let on…maybe less.

“Because if you were honest with me Kavala, we both know what you would tell me.” He wanted her to admit she was not ok, that she could sue the time off and that she trusted them to carry on without her. Yes there was plenty to do, but Serrif felt confident that her brother could handle the responsibility for awhile. And that the Staff could pick up the slack.

[Kavala]

Kavala nodded, she knew what Serrif was saying and he got the spirit of his concerns right. But didn’t they understand, any of them, that everything had to be done now? Right now? If it wasn’t ready and they weren’t vigilant things like the djed storm could totally ruin their plans at the future. It could STEAL their future. No one wanted that, especially not Kavala.

She took the tea gratefully and sipped at it, blowing on it to cool the steaming burn so she could sip it. Kavala let the bag seep in the hot water, sliding it up and down in the water to infuse the little herb bag with the hot water, releasing its contents to go directly into her stomach and thus her bloodstream, getting her going. She heard what Serrif was saying, but he didn’t have all the facts.

“No, I’m not. I’m still recovering from Tasival, from loosing the baby during the Djed Storm after foaling out every mare we had. I’m still working to get the Within finished so everyone has shelter and all the storage we need to see things through. It’s almost done, Seriff. And when it is, I can rest.” She said, shaking her head.

“I see Tasival plenty. Shayru crawled himself into my bed last night and I slept with him, after reading him two stories. Two. I could barely keep my eyes open, but when we did sleep it was fantastic. But I can’t live with myself if this place isn’t done and I’m somehow responsible for not keeping everyone safe. We have to be safe, Serrif. There’s frankly no sanctuary here unless we make it so. The Djed storm was a good lesson. And now we have zith attacks, lions, starving glassbeak, and the Drykas have a pox. Zeltiva has illness too? Serrif, literally I feel the clock ticking. I feel time sliding through our fingers and us loosing if we don’t get things done now. Right now!” She claimed, sipping her tea and reaching for a scone on a plate Cadra left out earlier.

“I’m doing this because I love you all too. You healers and teachers and philterers and horse trainers are all my family. We have to stay safe. We have to have these walls and this clinic and these medicines. We all should be working a great deal more than we are now. Even me. We can rest when its done.” The Konti said. Her voice rang with conviction.

“Don’t you see that Serrif? We can rest when its done!” Kavala reiterated. “I know your concerned, but hold on just a little longer. Just a little bit longer.’ She said softly, drinking the rest of her tea.

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

“And if you let yourself stay in this recovering stage for too long you will stay there…” The woman wasn’t going to budge…she wasn’t going to give in to him. Not easily; yes he was missing facts and more but the truth og the matter was his heart was in the right place.

“Van and I will grab shovels and picks to dig out the rooms ourselves if it will get you to rest for awhile. I know he would be more than glad to do so. Heck I could even talk Rhy, Gianne, and anyone else into it if that is what you are worried about.” He shook his head and tried to form coherent thoughts in his mind…but it was difficult when he knew in a way she was right, but she wasn’t thinking of herself. She couldn’t, in a way he supposed if she did start taking herself into account in all of this it would become overwhelming; she might become distracted even. And they didn’t need that right now. Winter was coming in and they had plenty of work to do. Almost more than they could finish and with Kavala gone it would become even more difficult.

“You,” He started as he tried to form words from the emotions he felt…they were similar in more ways than one. But how to just tell her this wasn’t easy. Because in a way he sometimes felt like he was talking to himself. “You are what is important here. If you don’t find a way to deal out what you feel it will consume, burn, and torment. And one day…when you don’t expect it those thoughts will boil to the top.” He remembered his vision…when Rak’keli had marked him. How his past that he hadn’t dealt with had nearly had him kill Ildin…and put a dagger into Rak’keli…things he would never have done under normal circumstances.

His mind made a few new connections and he could almost feel Tizack within him. “These things make you vulnerable. They make us vulnerable. We’ve made it through worse Kavala. The storms shook us but only woke us up to reality. And the Zith attack cut us leaving a scar to remind us that we need to be at our best.” He let her reflect on that before he spoke again; his tone gentle throughout, composed.

“Kavala, if you falter it hurts more than just you or Tasival. And you are in the most need for a break from this place. From the toiling work that has a hold on you. Release yourself from this place, feel what you need to feel. Recover and come back to us refreshed and ready to do the work we all know needs to be done for winter. We can hold down the fort for awhile.” He hoped that would reassure her of the importance of this rest for her. He knew she needed it, even if she would try and mark it off till winter.