Where Do I Begin

[Ursula]

Kalindor where do we begin?

I often wonder what my life would have been like if I was a whole of one of the two opposites that make me. It's hard to get by much worse to make friends, I'm either unworthy a lesser being or a monster an abomination. I spent a great deal of my time coping with teasing harrasment and bullying though I never thought despite my inner most hurts that I would become as terrifying and sinister as I stand today. The wheels of progress slowly turn and so to my mind set, from helpless naive child into a devourer of souls. It was a typical afternoon and I found myself at the brunt end of a beating, helpless and lifeless I had been sprawled out in the ground by another child. I wondered as I lay there if things could change, was there a way to erase that bully and replace him with something else? Never in my wildest dreams did I dare think that such a question had an answer so grim, but what's that saying oh yes the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I recovered and as time went on things started to change, plucked from the streets I was brought into a web and started feeling accepted. It was the most magical moment in my life until I found out the truth, they never cared about me it was just a lie a cunning deceitful trick. But I found myself with tricks and lies of my own, I had learned hypnotism in the caravans that roam too frequently into kalindor. It was pricey but well worth it's cost I had the weapons of emotion, thought and senses now at my disposal. I turned the couple against one another made the young man fall in love with another lust and passion while brewing hate in the young mother to be. The soil was ripe for harvest and I make no excuses I planted the seed of murder and watched it grow from the side lines. When it blossomed all my hopes and dreams came to fruition I will never forget that day, the wife plastered in blood holding a kitchen knife looming over her once lover. I must admit as barbaric as it may seem it had come so naturally the feeling of adrenaline pumping through my veins the struggle the sensation of ivory fangs breaking skin the whimper the final momento when I whispered capriciously my deed and the look of surprise as irises expanded to the size of saucers then faded as I unfurled my secret. That i found out there plan to make me a surrogate and that she and he had just been pawns in my elaborate plan. It was a prolonged dragged out affair the details would bore but i reveled in my complete victory as my weak venom slowly and agonizingly deliver the death blow in a way more torturous and personal then any metaIt implement could ever deliver. Though it never did settle drinking the blood of a symmenstra but I did it because to not is a waste, how silly of me to follow the rules of gods made special for symmenstra as if he smiled upon me when I was just an abomination in his eyes.

Needless to say my time there was finished had to take the mizas and buy my way out through the Caravans that night. No delays, like clock work I had fled before any one else had found out and by then I had made a full days ride off and away from that wretched mountain. I beamed a courtly smile, after all this was a mile stone in my life. I felt safe and secure in my own abilities.

And I swore to become powerful, but what would define powerful? That is another story for another day dear journal.