[The Bronze Wood] First Time for Everything (Sturlin)

[Eris]

For some odd reason, Eris felt a jolt of contentment in knowing that the man was willing to understand her situation. She was tired of people giving her astonished glances or tensing up ever so slightly when they found out about her profession. Eris was happy to note that Sturlin had done neither.

“I suppose there really couldn’t be a reason to bother you. It’s not as if your magic ever hurts anyone,” Eris said, thoughtfully. Indeed, she couldn’t imagine the man purposefully going after someone to harm them. But he had spoken of accidents… “...or does it?”

[Sturlin]

"...It does. On occasion. That is why I live out here. One of the many reasons. Can never been too careful." He looked a little remorseful as he said this, as if recent memories were being dredged up by her questions. The man was not tearing up, wracked with guilt, but he had clearly done something with his magic which upset him. "Have you ever killed on accident? Say you missed your target with the dagger. Aiming for a flesh wound and hit something else. Or perhaps a mistake during training?"

He did not expect her answer to be a yes, but he felt he had to ask the question.

[Eris]

“No, every kill I’ve made was purposeful. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. I always try to get my target to a secluded place, where there will be no risk of unwanted casualties,” she said. It was the truth – a truth in which she sometimes found comfort. She could at least say with completely conviction that nobody who was fully innocent had died by her hand.

“I have, however, on more than one occasion, given my teacher a few nasty wounds. I’m sure they were accidental, seeing as I simply wasn’t proficient enough at the time to inflict those kinds of injuries on purpose. But I’m sure that he still believes I was out to kill him,” she added with a small smile as she remembered Joel’s astonished expression during the few times she’d won in their sparring sessions.

[Sturlin]

"I never hurt my teacher during practice. In part because I could not. He also killed people at the slightest provocation. Unwise to antagonize him." Now that she had eaten some of the offered food he reached out to pull it back and pack it away. Before removing it though he allowed her a chance to take any more if she so wished.

It was now Sturlin's turn to fall silent. Though he enjoyed the company of Sam, Cherry had a way of bringing up topics which sparked his memories. There were a few parallels between them, to be sure, but the differences also highlighted his own mistakes. Perhaps if he had a teacher like this Joel then he would have made less 'fatal accidents' over the years.

[Eris]

Eris shook her head slightly, indicating that she wanted no more of the food as he moved to put it away. She enjoyed the companionable silence for a while. Somehow, silence with another person was different that the silence of being alone. Even when she was with Rhine, a part of her still felt isolated. It was when she was making her way through the bustling city streets or sitting in a crowded tavern, that she felt as if she was part of something. It was during those days - trailing a target through a busy market or enjoying the tavern gossip - when she was happy to be around people.

“Do you spend all your time in the woods, then? I imagine it must get very lonely,” she commented, wondering if she would ever be able to live in the wilderness alone.

[Sturlin]

"I do. It does. I have seen perhaps five people in the last one hundred days. Counting yourself. If you exclude my brief visits to Syliras. I sell meat and hides there. Resupply my camp that way. Run out of things occasionally." He tilted his head to the side as he looked at her. His eyes lingered on her hair again. It made him smile.

Reaching down with his hands he started to massage his knees absently. He did it more as a reason to keep his hands busy than anything else, though they were rather sore. "I am used to seeing few people. It does not mean I do not wish to see them. I am just used to it." There didn't seem to be anything more to say after that. He opened his mouth for a moment, but once again lost his train of thought.

[Eris]

“But why?” Eris asked, leaning in slightly, “I mean, it does not seem that you enjoy being so isolated. Why subject yourself to something like that? Why pursue magic if it leads to something which brings you discontent?”

Eris felt that she was asking too many questions, as was often the case when she met new people. She told herself that if she understood the motivations of others, she would be one step closer to understanding her own subconscious reasons for doing what she did. But, it never worked. She knew that it never worked. No matter how many people she learned to understand, she never gained any insight into the workings of her own mind.

[Sturlin]

"You can't be anything but what you are. Even if you don't like what you are. Were I to settle somewhere, I would still be a magician. I could take a normal occupation. Become a smithy or a shopkeep. It would not change the fact that I command the elements. Were I to lose my temper I could summon a gale. Were I to seek vengeance on my neighbor I could open the earth beneath their home."

"Just as you cannot give up the killing. You could set aside the blade. You could throw away the saddle. You could move to Syliras and farm the fields of the Knights. It would always be beneath the surface. Ready in an instant should you need it. The killer. Any sharp object would do. Perhaps someone would try to harm your family. Or steal your hard earned mizas. Eventually it would resurface. You would kill."

"By knowing ourselves, we channel our talents. You ply your skills for money. Preferably for a just cause. I seclude myself in the forest. Hopefully to avoid harming others accidentally. Our happiness with our circumstances changes nothing. Though it would be nice to have company. I will not deny it. But if my accidents can harm people out here, what could they do in Syliras?"

[Eris]

Eris felt a chill run down her spine as Sturlin talked about her…killing addiction. Was that what it was, then? Would she really be unable to resist the urge to kill if the opportunity presented itself? She liked to think that she would be able to exercise some control over her impulses, but she’d never know for sure until she actually found herself in the situation.

So, he isolated himself for the well-being of others. It was a sacrifice she understood, but would never be willing to make herself.

“You must have given this a lot of thought. I-” Just as she was about to say something else, she saw Rhine’s head bolt up, ears standing at attention.

Not a good sign. Never a good sign. The horse had a good ear for unwelcome sounds. Eris expelled a slow breath, trying to hear the sound that must have disturbed Rhine’s peaceful grazing. But there was nothing in the air, save for the regular sounds of the forest – at least, that’s all Eris was able to hear. Nevertheless, she drew her dagger out of its sheath, laying it across her lap.

[Sturlin]

Sturlin listened to her words, his mangled eyebrow raising slightly when she cut off mid sentence. He was not as well acquainted with Rhine as she, so he did not pick up on what could have caused her to become distracted. When she reached for her dagger and drew it, however, he became more alert. While keeping her in his vision he glanced around the area cautiously.

"What is the problem?"

Rather than reach for his bow, his ax, or any of the items next to him he raised his hands slightly. Keeping them at the ready, she could see him flex his fingers as if preparing for a wrestling match. The substance she had seen earlier had come from his hands. Hopefully Cherry did not plan to cause any trouble with him. It would be a shame to lose such a stimulating conversation.