Silarial did not realize she had fallen asleep during the confusion the night before. It was the first time she had ever told her mother how she truly felt deep inside. Doing so lifted a big weight off her chest, and she felt a bit better within. For the first time, the fear of being alone did not bother her as much anymore.
She only vaguely remember what happened last night. After her outburst, her mother apparently ran off without another word. The two Icewatch people and the doctor left her and Areeyah alone. Areeyah had sung her to sleep then.
It was the first time someone sung her to sleep. It felt like such a sweet dream.
Everyone in the hospital was so nice to her. No one teased her like the kids she had met. She got to eat more food too, and the days where she got nothing to eat at all seemed to be like just a bad dream now. And most especially, no one hurt her like her mother always did.
Thinking about her mother made Silarial involuntarily flinch. Yesterday would probably be the last time she would ever see her. The Icewatch man said so, earlier in the morning. He doesn’t usually speak, and he has a scary face too, but he was really nice to her even though he was really angry with her mother. The pretty lady who came with him was very nice to her as well. She always gives her sweets and asks if she’s okay whenever she stops by.
Silarial was more than happy with this kind of life. Deep inside, however, she knew that this was not bound to last. It was like a dream; it was too good to be true. Eventually, her health would be back to normal and she would be released from this place. But where would she go? Her mother was definitely out of the option (for she does not want her after all, even if Silarial still loved her despite everything that happened), and she didn’t know of any other relatives to go to. There was only Areeyah left.
The little girl gulped. She realized that asking Areeyah to take her in would be pushing her luck too far. The woman already defended her from her mother and went out of her way to visit her whilst she recovered. Worst, she feared that Areeyah would change like her mother had if Silarial stayed with her. Silarial believed in her young mind that she was the source of all sadness and misfortune to the people she loved, and she would not want to bring the same misery she gave her mother to this kind woman. If she had to be all alone to keep everybody she cared for happy, then she would readily choose to be so.
It was already late in the afternoon before someone other than the young nurses came in to visit her. She had been singing the songs she heard from outside her window. They were happy songs, and singing them somehow made her feel a tad better than she did when she first came to Avanthal.
Areeyah popped her head inside the room and her face brightened when she saw little Silarial gazing out at the window. She stood beside the doorway and waited until her companion, the woman from the Icewatch who was with them last night, came in before she closed the door. The two women walked towards the small table in the middle of the room and sat down, beckoning Silarial to come over and do the same. Silarial did, and she looked at the two innocently through large periwinkle eyes.
“How are you doing Silarial? Feeling better?” Areeyah started excitedly. The little girl nodded her head slowly, unsure of what to really say.
“We have good news for you. I’ll let Areeyah do the talking though.” The woman smiled kindly. Silarial wondered what the news was all about, and she cannot help herself from feeling nervous. She bit her lower lips anxiously as she waited for Areeyah to continue.
“We talked to some people about your situation and how you don’t have anywhere to go to after you’re released from the hospital. And guess what? You’re going to live with me from now on! You also don’t have to see your mother anymore if you don’t want to, so you don’t have to worry about her hurting you from now on.”
Silarial gawked at the two smiling women, a difficult expression marring her face. She did not know how to properly react. Should she be happy and jump for joy? Or would it be more appropriate to thank Areeyah but turn her down? Her chest ached as her feeling churned deep within her.
Areeyah’s face slowly fell as she tried to calculate the little girl’s expression. She didn’t know why she reacted as such. With a small nod and an encouraging squeeze of the hand, the Icewatch woman stood up and quietly walked out of the room — not before lightly patting Silarial on the head. Areeyah held Silarial’s soft, tiny hands in her own before speaking once again, this time in a strained voice. “Is there something wrong? Don’t you want me to be your new mommy?”
Silarial felt bad for making sorrow appear on Areeyah’s lovely face. She bit her lips and tried to stifle a sob. “I’m happy because you’re kind to me like everybody here. I’m s-so happy. B-but you shouldn’t take me in. I will only make you sad a-a-and angry. L-like my mommy…”
Areeyah wiped teardrops from Silarial’s cheeks with her thumb, tutting affectionately. She stroked the girl’s head lovingly and assuringly before placing her hands on either side of her cheeks. In a soothing voice that tugged at the little girl’s heart, she continued, “That’s not true. In fact, I’m really happy that I’m given the chance to take care of you. Silarial, I would love to take care of you.”
“But I’m not your real daughter. And… and if you take care of me, you wouldn’t be able to find a man of your own.” She remembered what her mother screamed at her at that night. Even though Silarial did not fully grasp what her mother meant, she knew it was similar to finding the father of your future children. But because she was her mother’s child to another man, no one wanted to be with Thalassa anymore.
“I’m already past the age of finding a husband. I doubt anyone would want me still when there are so many younger girls around.” Areeyah laughed softly, her voice a lovely tinkle to Silarial’s ears. “I’m actually more of looking for a child to treat as my own now. And when I found out about your situation, I thought I should have you, especially since you're my... best friend's only child.” Areeyah paused, staring at Silarial’s hands as she caressed them before she continued. “You’re looking for a mother who would love and care for you. I’m looking for a child to love and care for. Don’t you think we’re destined to have each other?”
The young girl looked at Areeyah, her eyes wide in surprise, and stammered. “You mean… You… you want to become my mommy?”
“Yes. Very much so.”
“B-but… what about my real mommy? Who would be her daughter now if I go with you?” Even though Thalassa wanted to get rid of her so much, she still loved her all the same. But, would going with Areeyah actually make her mother feel better? She’s so confused with having to make a choice. She didn’t know what to do.
After a long pause and a deep sigh, Areeyah answered, “I can’t change the fact that Thalassa is your real mother, and I won’t take your right to love her and choose to go back with her. But if you do, I would be very sad. I don’t want to see you hurt again. I want to give you the happiness I know you deserved.” Areeyah fished something out of her pocket and placed it on the table. It was the hair bow her mother gave her as a present. “This belongs to you Silarial.”
Silarial chewed on her fingernails and closed her eyes, shaking her head vigorously. She knew she wanted to have a new life with this woman before her now. She wished to belong to someone who would care for her and give her the love she had been yearning for such a long time. She loved her mother very much, but now she was not so sure it was right to stay with her still.
“You won’t hurt me and leave me all alone? Not like mommy did?”
“Of course not.”
A stray teardrop fell from her eye and rolled down her gaunt cheeks.
“W-will you eat meals with me? And, and come to me when I cry?”
The woman laughed softly as she dabbed a cloth to the corner of her eyes. “I’d love to eat meals with you. I can’t say I can always come at once when you cry, but I will do my best to be always there for you when you need someone to protect you, or even just someone to cry with you whenever you’re sad.”
Silarial barely choked the words out, hopeful to hear an affirmation. She wouldn’t know what to do if the woman rejected her after getting her hopes up so much. Her eyes brimming with tears, she asked, “C-can you… please be… my new mommy?”
“Yes! Yes, of course yes!” Areeyah hugged stood up and hugged Silarial tightly, and Silarial hugged Areeyah as tight as her little body could. She wanted this very much since she could remember. There was a part of her that questioned her hasty decision and the things that will happen in the days to come, and another part which screamed that she should not trade her true mother for a new one in a blink of an eye. All of these, however, were soon overshadowed by a deep yearning for the warm love Areeyah offered.
"C-can I call you mommy?" Silarial's face was already stained with tears, and more were falling down from her eyes. Areeyah smiled and nodded, crying herself as well.
"M-mommy Areeyah... hello... my mommy!"
And so young Silarial hoped with all her heart that finally, she had found her place in this cold and lonely world. A mother’s love: it was indeed the most beautiful gift a lonely child could ever receive.