Mao's Doodle Haus [ Psychobabble ]

[Siiri]

So I found myself reading this particular thread from the very top of the page, and I know you don't like pics like this and I'm late posting it and stuff as others have already said what needs to be said but...

[Stitch]

Hello! I don't believe I have met you before, or you may be someone I know... But I am Stitch, and I am now a fan of yours. Let's be friends? <3

I have had dreams before where I am cut, or lashed, or injured in some way... And have actually felt the pain, even when I had woken up and realized it was a dream. I do think it is kind of a trick of the mind. I mean, when we are dreaming, we don't know it. We fully believe it is reality, most of the times. So if we are tricked, and our brains are tricked, then wouldn't we really believe the pain was real? And if we believe it is real, do our bodies generate that reality? I think so, sure.

I feel as if I have foretelling dreams much more often. Really minor things, honestly. And they could be a trick of the mind too. Today I was staring at a cup of coffee, and my mom sat down, and the coffee in the cup rippled. I blinked at it, and glanced at her, and got hit with this extreme sense that this had all happened before. That I had dreamed it. I am almost positive I have dreamed it. Little things like that!

I am a Christian, and I used to dream about Jesus. That we were having conversations, just like two normal people. I was a child back then, and I think it was much easier for me to believe. A child-like belief is so pure. Maybe he did visit me in my dreams.

I also used to dream about this little blonde girl. I can't remember her face, but I remembered I had tons of dreams about her. In every single dream, I was deeply in love with her. We used to go on the craziest adventures. Finding a town with streetlamps powered by fireflies, and the cobblestones of the roads just being gray lilly pads on streets of crystal clear water. We would hold hands and explore the entire world together. And I was very happy. I would wake up, and miss her.

I am older now, but I still think those dreams meant something important. The first one seemed supernatural, and the rest seemed... vital. I still like to think that blonde girl exists somewhere.

-grins- Sometimes I wonder if she dreamed of me.

That may sound stupid, but I dunno. I just meant to tell you that I had also gone through supernatural dreams before, and that I could relate to you, and that you weren't alone. Then I went off on a wild rant. xD!

[Kelpie]

That's really insightful and amazing Stitch. You're really a great person from what I've seen. ^_^ And it's great that you want to be friends. We can be total weird BFFs together forever and ever. As for the events that transpired, it's great to know I'm not the only one hehe!

The girl, maybe she was from your past life? Or a love that you will meet in the future. I think that's romantic myself (and this is coming from a really unromantic type of person hehe), and it's super sweet. <3 Indeed, dreams should be taken into account, because who knows when you might need them in the future? Remember the stuff that happens in random flashes, because if it happens it might hold some significance somewhere!

(I also had an event in my life where I came face to face with an "angel", at least that's what I thought it was, of course I was young, it could have been a blinding ghost for all I know. ;P But that will be for another day! Unless people really want to hear about it, hehe.)

Thanks for sharing, Stitch! <333

[Orion]

I am not entirely sure why did i read through this scrapbook, hell i`m not even sure why does a response come from me, when i have no form of relation to you what so ever, but, still something in my head ticked me off to write a bit. You may think of me being an even bigger freak than you after i speak of some of my dreams, and being the dreamer i am, i often took them seriously, maybe even too seriously. Since i was one of those idiots that thought that Santa Claus exists up until the age of 11 ( or was it 12 xD) i really don`t expect you to understand or even grasp on my way of thinking.

Once i had a dream of my door eating me, and i could see my arm twitching before it simply vanished, that chewing sound just freaked me out. When i woke up my eyes were all teary and i felt as if cold sweat was coming down my forehead, down my cheeks, or maybe there were no tears, maybe it was all just sweat.... The point is, i found myself being wierd as i was proud of my dream, i was proud no one else had a dream like that, i was proud that in my dreams i kept dying the most horrible of deaths only to find myself alive when i wake up. My pride was coming from the feeling i had, the control i thought i had over my dreams, it was all a lie, a lie i kept repeating to myself. I am one of those idiots that would rather jump into the fire without a second thought, rather than breaking down and admiting fear, so i kept my dreams hidden, showing their glimmer, their darkness only to a few select people i thought could understand them. I was a kid, not that i`m grown up now, but a long time ago i thought, if i was to tell people how i feel, they would forever look down on me as the pathetic one. And being looked down upon is matched only by ignoring in terms of agony, at least for me. Anyways before i go too far into.. god knows where, about that dream, i was so convinced it works in reality that the next month i was going to school by jumping out my window, and returning home using the same technique.

I don`t want to waste too many words speaking of the past ( LOL i guess that already failed ) one of the things i wanted to say was that even tho my oppinion means nothing in the face of your own self image, i think you are an awesome person, really strong, and i guess all i can say about your past is that shit happens, but as long as we come out on top, it was worth the trouble. Growing out without a father can be an issue, believe me, i know, relating to that is easy, sad, but easy. I`m still a kid myself and like you said, adults don`t litsen. EVER. So i guess it would be time to stop talking about sad stuff.

@ Stitch I still dream of a girl waiting for me 3 steps away, every time she is there, all aorund us is dark, every time my dream ends only moments after i touch her small hand. She smells of grapes, when they are ripe, just before the harvest, i never understood why, and i discovered what the smell was only recently. Every time i touch her hand, she shows me various images, none of them related to the other, yet they all make sence to me, that is how i started writting. My father had schytzophrenia while he was alive so i guess that might be the reason for both my wierd personality and my wierd dreams, but if this is what it means to be sick, to be insane, than i just find it fun, and i am sure i`m going to hell for saying this, if there even is such a place. The last couple of nights, every time i fell asleep that same girl would show me moments, moments of an unknown meaning, the images stopped making sense, and the girl started crying, in every dream, she was crying and as i woke up, i could feel sad, i would cry just like she did, and than i would be afraid to fall asleep again, as i could no longer stand to see her cry.....

I could talk about almost anything, for an unlimited amount of time, so both mine sake and yours i shall stop now and go get some bread for a breakfast, i`m starving.


OMG random moment: purple elephants eating green tacos fly around carying pizzas (now i wanna eat pizza) Anyways hunger is overtaking me, bye until further notice guys (geez... too much text xD)

[Malia]

Yes, I've experienced some extraordinary things myself, but I don't know if I can call them supernatural. I guess it depends on the angle you're looking at them from. I've talked to several people and learned about their experiences with the supernatural though.

My mother believes in shamanism and animal guardians and told me that her own guardian had revealed its identity to her in a dream. She now knows that her guardian is the deer - and I totally believe her because that animal suits her character very well. One of her friends has had a similar dream with the same purpose, or even several. Also, apparently a dream has taught her that her soul (or spirit?) is originally from Sirius and has come to the Earth to help others. I also see the truth here because my mother is a very kind person and a great listener.

I was into all those things too for a while, and that was when I did an aura scan. I can't remember what colors my aura had, but I knew that the interpretation of the colors was true. I think there was something about me being artistically talented (which is obviously true, given the amount of writing I do here). I also believe that I have seen auras myself one or even several times. I'm a bit skeptic, because I tend to approach things in a logical and scientistic way, but I think those happenings you can't explain and facts you can't ignore need their place in people's lives. Although we can't be sure about their meaning, we should at least try to understand what they try to tell us. The fact that we don't understand them doesn't mean that they're not real.

That's my opinion anyway.

[Azilis Theroulde]

So I'm in the same boat as Stitch, in that I don't really know you (though we've met in chat before, I think?) but I want to comment anyway because I thought that was a really insightful and interesting post. Can we be friends now too? I wouldn't exactly call myself a firm believer in reincarnation, as you said you were, but I definitely think it has its merits. Personally, I feel like some personality traits or phobias are remnants of what might have happened in a past life. I think it's really interesting in those sorts of cases where young children have extremely specific memories of something that couldn't possibly have happened to them in their lifetime. And I really want to believe that the soul has some sort of innate power that renders it able to continue past the body - that you keep going and going until you get it right, however long that takes. I've had vivid dreams like the ones you said too - of being a child living in a village in Africa, of being a woman living in Medieval-era castle and minding the household. Those dreams have made total sense, and usually my dreams are composed of totally random and senseless imagery and words strung together. I think even if those dreams meant nothing about past lives, they're still an important part of the key to unlocking my psyche. I've heard that you never dream anything you've never seen before - at some point, you have to have laid eyes on every person, every scene, that enters your dreams. If that's true, then where do all those images come from? As for other supernatural happenings...in my family, it's tradition to name the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter Elizabeth, and I'm the seventh one to carry that name. A lot of my family members say that we have some sort of power. Some are joking, a lot aren't. We're supposed to be able to have the power to predict death, which sounds hokey and clichéd, but...my grandmother, when she was ten, dreamed that her father was being crushed to death by a large stone. She was shaken awake from that dream by people telling her that her father had just died in a car accident. The dashboard had fallen on his chest, crushing it and killing him. When I was eight, I dreamed I was playing around on a Ouija board with a neighbor of mine. We asked it when he would die, and it told him 14. He laughed and told me he was 14, so he couldn't die yet. About two months later he was killed in a random stabbing. I can't speak for the other Elizabeths, my ancestors, but I do think that both those incidents bespeak...something, I don't know what. A something that human minds can't comprehend. Maybe it's a something that isn't there at all, but I don't want to believe that. Well, there's my penny for your thoughts. Haha, that was way longer than I thought it'd be

[Mao]

Happiest Moment in My Life From left to right: Karyu, Zero, Tsukasa and Hizumi. D’espairsray. My completely all time favorite band, and for the first time I saw their solo world tour concert tonight. To be quite honest it felt like I was on heaven on earth, even amidst the pushing and the shoving and the cries for attention directed at the band members. At first I thought I was going to have such a shitty day, my friend had certain issues going on with her family and told me she’d be late, which meant I would be late, which meant we wouldn’t be first in line and also in the front row. Fortunately, however, not many people came, and we were pretty close to the door. This made me incredibly happy. We were going to be in the mosh pit, which meant we could push ourselves to the front. So we were waiting around, Slim’s is a pretty small place and also held a bar and tables to eat. Of course, it was fucking freezing outside (thank you San Francisco weather), but inside, it was nice and toasty, and at once I had told my friend to get up front and save us spots. I was going to check out the merchandise table in case things were going to be sold out, but seeing as it was completely crowded, I opted to stand with my friend instead, right up in the front, second row. Small stage, very intimate with the crowd. I used my friend’s iphone to check up on chat, but it didn’t take long for the clock to tick 8:00PM, and then the crowd bustled up all close and everyone began to scream. They were right on the dot. Perfect timing, no delays, nothing that would make the crowd angry or anxious. The band came out, starting with Zero, the bassist, then Tsukasa, the drummer, Karyu the guitarist, and then, of course, Hizumi, the vocalist. There were screams and shouts everywhere, and I have to tell you, having a girl scream directly into my ear was enough to make me deaf for pretty much several seconds. But it was all fine and dandy. The band started with Reddish, a very very popular song of theirs: Secret : And everyone went batshit crazy. Arms were flying in the air, people were smashing into each other and my friend somehow wormed her way to the second row from the fourth. Needless to say, she wasn’t the rabid fan I was, and she forced me to switch places with her. I saw Tsukasa so well from that vantage point I wanted to cry. He was so amazing to watch, his drumming skills were exceptional. Karyu and Zero were rocking it out on either side but I rarely paid them any attention, because I was so focused on Hizumi and Tsukasa. Of course, Hizumi enjoyed toying the crowd and bringing his arm out as if to allow people to touch him, then tucked it back in. What a tease. At one point, he did it, I jumped up, wrapped a hand around his arm and nearly pulled him in, but I didn’t want to be the girl to be thrown in prison because she accidentally pulled a hot asian man into a group of rabid, horny fan girls now would I? No, but I had my fair share of feeling around. And I loved it, a lot. He went shirtless at this point of the show: Secret : And of course, the girls went crazy again. So did some boys, who knows? During one particular song, can’t recall the name, perhaps it was from the new album Monster that’s not out yet, the computer died, and we had to sit there while Hizumi brought out a little camera and started filming the crowd, which became something akin to Girls Gone Wild. We were screaming, hollering, touching his arms and the camera, ecstatic that he was filming us. It was really cute, seeing him smile all goofy, and hearing him speak English that turned out a LOT better than what it used to be. I thought at first, they wouldn’t be playing their old songs from years ago, but no, I was surprised. Not two songs after I called out “Play Garnet!” They play it, my all time favorite song: Secret : This was right after they played Sixty-nine, a fan favorite for it’s magnificent climax: Secret : It made me want to cry. It was fantastic, a mesmerizing experience to be so close to my idols, and not only that, they had a meet and greet afterwards, and autograph signings. Of course, I made my friend sign my poster for me while I signed the little booklet I bought for $15. I would pay ANYTHING for this band, I love them to death, and just seeing them in person made my heart flutter. When I passed my booklet for them to sign, I got to shake their hands, and when I touched Tsukasa’s hand I think I exploded in my head. It was bliss. He’s so gorgeous in person it’s not even funny. I’m sorry that I went on and on about an insignificant concert that probably no one knew about, but I just had to talk about it, to share it with the people of Mizahar in the hopes that they learn and appreciate a band that is very underrated in the world of rock. : ) Long live, D’espairsRay

[Malia]

Hey, I'm into J-rock/pop too. I haven't had the chance or will to hear into D'espairs Ray, but right now I'm listening to Monster, their new album, and so far it's awesome! Your entry somehow motivated me to give them a try.

Anyway, I can totally understand how you felt as a fan. It must be similar to the one time I met a famous German manga artist in person on a convention! It was just breathtaking, getting to know such an idol you admire for what they do. I want to become like them one day.

[Mao]

Omg, baby names. Well, since a baby's coming next season I think I should start making a list of baby names. Uhm. Yeah, I'm bad at names, wtb suggestions please. D: Just for lawls, silly names: Crystal Kitten (Actual name of my future RA) Annie Howe Seymour Weiner Holly Wood Scatman (lol) Petal Blossom Rainbow Oliver Gunner Flowers I think I should name mine Gorilla Blue, it's cute.

[Nimvahlis]

Omg, better baby names. Mohamed Hoy Roy Jesus Maxine Accident