Solo Retrace

[Hadyn Skellig]

Winter 509 AV 5th Day Morning Hadyn Skellig paced the floor, ignoring the sound of sobs from the adjacent room. One arm was crossed across her chest, holding the side of her ribcage as she chewed on the worn nail of the other hand. Her eyes were on the wall as she walked, her boots rhythmic against the stone, thoughts entangled. The door creaked open and the woman spun at the sound, the sight of the Sylirian Knight's expression causing her face to drop. Behind him a woman leaned against the door frame, her cheeks wet with tears and eyes red. Her luminous tawny hair was dull this morning, frizzy and unkempt. Her expression was haggard as she looked past the Knight, staring at nothing in particular. "His affairs are taken care of," the Knight stated with a sympathetic nod to Hadyn. The smith glanced at the blonde woman before returning her gaze to the man, eyebrows raised expectantly. He sighed and stepped to the side to look at the blonde. "The place will need to be vacated in three days. I... I am sorry for your loss. But if you cannot afford-" "Very well," Hadyn cut him off, glancing at the other woman. "We'll have it emptied by then. Thank you for your time." Her voice sounded strange, foreign. It was hollow though she tried to show appreciation for the sympathetic Knight. He nodded and gathered in cloak, a kind smile offered before departing. He left the two women staring at each other, Hadyn still chewing on her fingernail. "Shall I stop by the Housing Authority to find you a new apart-" "No," the blonde croaked, her turn to cut Hadyn off. She barely looked at the younger woman. "I can't bear the thought. Or this city. I'll be leaving." "But Eilis," the brunette started, dropping her hand from her face, eyes wide. "Where will you go?" "Gods know," Eilis murmured solemnly with a slow shake of her head. She crossed the floor to sit in the finely crafted chair of the two bedroom apartment. With a heavy sigh, the blonde took stock of the chamber. "But without Liam I have no reason to stay." Her gaze rose to meet Hadyn's stare, the misery behind the hazel eyes more than the woman could stand. Looking away, Hadyn began to pace again, swallowing her own sorrow. Eilis had become a sister to only daughter of the Skellig clan, having made her home with Liam for the past three years. While they had not been joined in marriage, Eilis was welcomed into the small family, beloved by Hadyn's other siblings. Liam was devoted to her, planning to raise a family once they were able to make a better living. As it was he earned enough to rent a lovely apartment in the nicer side of the city, all with the intent of growing their family. But now that all seemed a far away dream. "I can't afford this place, Haddie," Eilis reminded her morosely. She covered her face with her hands, resting her elbows on her knees as she breathed deeply. Hadyn's heart reached out to the despondent woman, wishing there was something she could do. Like Liam Eilis was nine years her senior and hardly in need of advice from a twenty-three year old who hardly had her own life together. "I sent word to Brody," Hadyn stated dumbly, as if that would make Eilis feel better. The woman raised her head, fresh tears wetting her skin. "He'll be glad to hear it from you," she answered with a sad smile. How she managed to remain so controlled and selfless was beyond Hadyn. "I'd best begin packing up," she paused to stare at the blacksmith. "If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone." "Of course," the smith nodded. Turning, she pulled her overcoat off the peg in the wall, donning it slowly. With a forced smile of encouragement to Eilis, the brunette opened the front door, exited and closed it quietly behind her, stepping into the cold air.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Her footfalls were heavy, the sunlight assaulting her vision as she progressed down the narrow vestibule. Her breath issued forth in misty streams, her eyes on the ground. Her world was on its head, each bell passing more and more surreal. Liam, the head of their family and her idol, was gone. By all accounts murdered, left for dead in the winding alley of the Docks. Her chest tightened at the memory of his face, flushed of color and cold to the touch. He was laid out and awaiting proper identification. Being the only family member in the city, Hadyn was fetched to confirm his person. Unlike Eilis Hadyn was unable to cry so freely. A lump sat in her throat, leaving her voice raw and sobs unable to materialize. The tears that stung her eyes dared not drop, eyelashes damp with their substance. As much as she desired to curl into a ball and weep for the loss of her beloved brother, something nameless kept her from it. It frustrated her to be unable to release her sorrow, the catharsis experienced by Eilis unachievable to the girl. She walked without purpose, moving past the citizens of Syliras with barely a glance. Her shoulders brushed past them but she couldn't bring herself to meet their eye, lips set in a firm line as she proceeded. Having thrown herself into her work these last few days she thought she'd end up at Sultros. Her grief was good for business, commissions and projects churned out rapidly under the guise of studious productivity. Truthfully she needed a purpose for her hands and concentration to occupy her mind. Can't wallow in misery in the forge. But she was not on her way to the smithy. Hardly. Her feet were taking her another route. One she could neither justify nor recall. It seemed she was set on a path, unconsciously moving through the denizen like a leaf in the river - destination bound but no less sure of where she'd end up. Her dark eyes absorbed the scene but barely registered thoughts. How long had she been on the move? Hadyn could scarcely determine the distance she'd traveled, leaving Liam's lover alone in the apartment to move on. It hurt to think of a future without her brother, much less Eilis. She was losing both of them. She knew she couldn't blame the woman for wanting to leave. But without her, Hadyn had nothing. Ioan and Brody left long ago to find their fortunes. Only Hadyn and Liam remained to carve out a living in the City of Peace. Hadyn snorted at the title. Peace indeed. Hadyn's feet stopped, her eyes staring blankly as her brain processed her location. Swallowing heavily, the girl took a moment to register the familiarity of the street, snow sparkling in the bright morning light. Nothing looked exactly the way she expected it to. It was both foreign and painfully familiar. She could still see her brother's form in repose on the ground, the snow beneath his shoulder stained red. The image was firmly planted her mind and she stood there like a simpleton, staring fixedly at the barren alley.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The winter wind bit into her skin, whistling down the alley as if to encourage her to turn and leave this place. But her feet would not move. Indeed she was stuck staring at the dusted snow, her brother's body transposed perfectly in her mind. Hadyn didn't realize she was kneeling in the snow until her knees became cold and wet. Her finger tips ran over the whiteness where Liam had laid prostrate in his cold demise. Fresh snow coated the alley, the firn of last night blanketing any indication that a man had died here. Abject guilt and anomie settled in her breast as she held flurries in an open hand. To anyone else this was just a narrow lane, intemerate and banal. Placing two hands flat into the coldness, she felt her upper body sink down as the weight of her shoulders pressed her into the snow. Were that her voice could create sound she might ululate and lament the loss. No doubt she looked unhinged on all fours in this empty alley, eyes blinking against the tears making her eyes glassy. All the girl could see was Liam... His skin was blueish, devoid of any rosiness it held in life. His lips were slightly darker, parted in what appeared surprise. Brown eyes stared lifeless at her as she knelt beside him, suggesting that he could offer no help in identifying the one responsible for this tragedy. One hand was curled into a fist the other open, fingers crooked and frozen. The vermillion beneath his body was luminous, turning her stomach to see so much of his life's blood pooled about him. Balling her hands into fists the girl leveled her forehead against them, algid snow pressed to her face melting against her lips. Why was she acting like this? there was nothing for it but a heavy emptiness in her chest, creating a delirious hole in her. Would she simply lay here fallow with grief and troth to Liam's memory. Weakness and cold crept slowly through Hadyn's body, giving her leave to recline on her side, supine in the snow. Rime coated her eyelashes, closed as she inhaled the frosty air. For the first moment in days she rested.

[Hadyn Skellig]

Her heartbeat slowed in rest, the chill settling into her bones. She could feel the blood in her veins moving steadily as her pulse thumped on. Time stopped for Hadyn, the pervading weight of loneliness heavy; physically residing atop her chest. Her family was gone, Ioan and Brody journeying beyond Syliras and leaving their past behind. Despite all rational thoughts the girl couldn't resist the bitter taste of abandonment. Without Liam she had nothing. Her fingers were numb, her feet barely registering warmth as she reflexively bit her lower lip to return blood flow. Hadyn was not the type to simply give up. Her brothers had raised a stronger woman than that. But it felt so easy to lay there and let go, drowning in her sorrow and desolation. Liam would be turning in his freshly dug grave were he to see her acting like this. "Pick yourself up," he'd rumble, brown eyes narrowed with disgust. "No sister of mine will waste her life roiling in misery like some hopeless vagik." The memory of his voice modified to admonish her for this behavior gave her cause to open her eyes. The flurries attached to her eyelids obscured her vision but even with the obstruction she could see two feet planted a few steps from her face. Blinking slowly, the brunette raised her head the slightest degree to look up, searching for the owner of the dark boots. A face peered down at her, shadowed by the sun. Scrambling to her knees and finally to stand, the girl flushed from embarrassment. She was laying in an alley muttering to herself. She'd be lucky the man didn't alert the Knights to haul her off to a sanatorium. The man extended a hand, grasping her elbow to assist her in standing. With an abashed glance at the imprint her body left in the snow, Hadyn avoided eye contact, reflexively moving away from his touch. "Are you alright?" His voice was mellifluous compared to the harshness of her own inner voice, plaguing her to behave better. Chancing a look at the stranger, Hadyn swallowed slowly, wiggling her toes in the confines of her boots. He was several inches taller than she with hazel eyes and sandy hair beneath a wool cap. His beard was well trimmed and he held himself with a confident manner. Hadyn couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. Morwen's teeth, she was acting a fool. "Yes," she replied haltingly, trying to come up with an excuse for lying in the snow like an injured deer. "You're Hadyn, aren't you?" Eyes flicked back to his face, surprise registering as her brow furrowed. Was she already famous among this neighborhood? The deranged sister of the dead man, wallowing in the alley because she had no reason to go on. But the man was already offering a warm smile, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I was a friend of Liam." With that sentence they both looked away, feeling the weight of the late Skellig. Shifting uncomfortably in her footprints, the brunette wrapped an arm around herself, guarding herself against the man. Why was he here? He seemed to catch on to her discomfort, offering a gentle smile. "I'm sorry," he began, taking half a step back, hand raised in sincerity. "I don't mean to infringe on you. I'll be on my way -" "Wait," Hadyn shocked herself by reaching forward to keep him from departing. Petch. "You aren't infringing. I just, well," she paused, unsure how to explain herself. "I'm... em..." "You came because you miss him?" Once again the man was able to read her thoughts, his tone kind and manner gentle. Hadyn met his gaze again with an uneasy smile. He returned the smile, looking down with a loose shrug. "That's why I'm here too." "Forgive me, but do I know you?" "Gods, how rude of me," he grinned. "Your brother and I were mates from the Coin. Don't suppose you've heard of me, though." The man extended a gloved hand to her, hazel eyes beaming with earnest interest. Hadyn accepted his hand for a shake as he spoke again. "Tobias."