Completed [The Sanctuary] Does it Still Smolder? (Sybel)

[Vanator]

Timestamp: 10th Day of Summer, 513 AV

Vanator had chosen a ride along the surf. The beach below the Sanctuary had itself become a refuge of sorts for the Drykas man. He loved the grass, it was his heart, but it was also dangerous for those who lose themselves in thoughts and wonderings. The shoreline, in contrast, was fairly secure and isolated. But it was not just the safety and privacy that appealed to the Denusk, it was the rhythm of the tireless surf, the stiffness of the salt breeze, and the vast expanse of blue green that stretched out to the horizon. They worked to sooth his mind, ease his anxieties, and open his understanding. It was where he wanted to have this conversation with Sybel.

Eplah and Sirroco plodded along through the sand, the wind from the Suvan tugging at their manes, as well as those of the Drykas and Benshiran riders. Vanator looked at Sybel often as they worked their way to the beach, in fact, he had found it it difficult to keep his eyes off of her since her arrival several days earlier. The weight of their past still hung heavy over the two of them, left unaddressed as they danced around how, or who, would be the first to breach the subject of their parting. Finally, Vanator asked Sybel to go for a ride, offering to show her the beach. He wanted to clear things up, to tell her everything. He wanted to see if, maybe, they could start over.

Again his eyes fell upon the young woman. "I have missed you Bel..." Vanator paused, gaze darting down the beach before returning to the raven-haired Benshiran. "It seems like a lifetime has passed." Vanator Denusk, never without a well placed word, found his tongue failing to produce adequate translation of his emotions. He finally blurted it out. "Look, I forgave you, really, a long time ago. I didn't forget, though. I never forgot about you." The Drykas swayed smoothly in his yvas as they rode along. "Sometimes, I wondered, even after I was married, if you would ride back into Endrykas, what I would do. Sometimes I wanted to rebuff you, hurt you like you hurt me. Other times, I would have left both my wives if it meant I could be with you again."

Gold-flecked hazel eyes held to Sybel for a moment before drifting again out to the sea. He wanted to be honest with his former lover. If they were to start over, he wanted her to know everything, and there was much to tell her.

[Sybel]

Sybel had done all that she could to make things easier for him. Whenever Vanator came around, she’d smile politely and excuse herself, so he could feel comfortable in his own home. Whatever he thought of her, he never said. In fact, they rarely spoke at all, though both of them stared often enough. She’d catch the end of his gaze and smile, though the feeling made her sick. He must truly detest her. Who wouldn’t resent such duplicity – Sybel the runaway bride? It was emasculating and further, dishonest.

But when he’d asked her to ride with him, how could she say no? She’d deny him nothing, not even the most heartbreaking requests. So they rode along in silence, the gentle caress of the salt breeze a boon.

He caught her off-guard. Sybel blinked stupidly as he came right to the matter at hand. Vanator was always refreshingly direct, something she’d forgotten. All of the avoidant behavior must have really grated his nerves. She laughed nervously. ”You don’t pull punches,” she said, suppressing a grin. Gods, she still loved him.

”I can’t blame you for feeling that way,” she began, eyes trailing the shore. ”At the time, I hadn’t yet seen the world. I was so scared to stay. But I knew that if I asked you to come with me, I’d be asking you leave everything behind. It wasn’t an option.” She frowned.

”It killed me every day… But with time and ale, I was able to shove it to the back of my mind. I started looking for Kavala and when I couldn’t find her, I went back to Yahebah. I felt like I deserved that lot. But it was short-lived. You know I can’t stand my family. I started wandering again and I have been ever since. I’ve been to Nyka, Syliras and Zeltiva. But I never had the stomach to try Avanthal…” She sighed.

”Thank you for forgiving me. When I think about you, I…” She couldn’t finish that sentence. The rejection was too great. But she knew she had to. It was his right to know. ”Vanator Denusk, I love you. I have all this time. It’s my burden now. I made my choice a long time ago, so this is what I deserve. There are a great many beautiful women in Riverfall and I know you must have found at least one to your liking.” She turned the full force of her eyes upon him.

”You are the best man I have ever had the right to know. Whoever it is, I wish you both so much happiness. I’ll just do my best to stay out of your way.” Feeling slightly winded, she closed her eyes.

[Vanator]

Vanator rode in silence, listening to Sybel's equally honest confessions carried on her familiar low alto voice. The Drykas did not look away from the stretch of sand before them, his gaze steady, concealing a heart that pounded with a confused tumult of emotions, seeming to twist a new way with every word his former fiance uttered. She had gone and done what she wanted, traveling to the cities of the world, some he knew, some he had not heard of. Van wanted to be happy for Sybel, that she could feed her wanderlust, and to an extent he was. Yet, the jealous ex-lover could not help but wonder who, and how many, men she had left him to take.

Fool, hypocrite! Van chastised himself. How many did you take after she left? Since he arrived at Riverfall the previous Fall, Vanator's life had been about leaving the past behind. Mostly because it had already been taken from him. Did Sybel not deserve the same? Her words were contrite, and he knew it had taken many days of building courage to even speak to him about what had happened between them. When all the anger and hurt and indignation boiled away, Vanator knew he still loved her, like none other since Tamar.

"There is no one." He spoke heavily after a long moment, eyes still fixed ahead. "There was. I had a family, they were taken by the Storm," Vanator turned his gaze to Sybel, "...all of them, except Kavala and our cousin Delani." The man sighed. There was so much to tell, and he could not explain a part and not reveal all to her. Van wanted it all out in the open. He wanted the same from her.

"Sybel," His eyes drifted again to the line of the surf, "...I was married. I had taken two wives, and I had a son, still a baby. Almost three years ago now, I was with a small band hunting in the grass. We were out later than we should have been. The Zith caught us in the twilight. I was taken. I was a slave for a year." Vanator's words came out in short spurts, reluctant to speak them, a bitter taste on his tongue.

"I survived the Djed Storm held inside the warrens of a Zith colony while my family, mother, father, wives, son...all of them, were wiped out." A tightness encompassed his sentence. "Last summer, the Zith had no more use for me, but instead of killing me, they traded me to some slavers that operate outside Riverfall. That is where Kavala found me, and bought my freedom."

The Drykas' eyes softened as he held Sybel's gaze. "She is my family now. And Larik and Cadra, did Kav tell you they are my children?" A gentle smile crept across his lips. "Sybel, since that day, my life has been about starting over." Vanator's gaze lingered on the golden features of the raven-haired woman. The years had taken little toll on her physically, though her bright eyes hinted at maturity gained from seeing the world. She was just as beautiful as he remembered. Vanator's gaze intensified. "We...can start over."

[Sybel]

She rode in stunned silence, truly enamored by the sound of his voice. It was so familiar, a comfort against the empty passage of time. The gap closed between them suddenly. ”No,” she whispered. ”I did not know that..” Larik and Cadra. Both employed at the Sanctuary. ”You’re virile,” she laughed nervously, unable to restrain herself. ”They’ve grown quickly. How long has it truly been?” It’d only been five, maybe six years? Yet, the whole thing was unsurprising. She knew he’d father many children in her absence, by the family he deserved.

But it’d been taken. Stolen from him, yet again. He’d lived as a slave? ”Vanator,” she said gently. Her blue eyes held his steadily. ” I should have stayed. How could you venture out into the Grass so unabashedly?” She was speaking as a Drykas, suddenly. ”But your actions… You are alive. Lhex has a plan for all of us, even those who are too proud to recognize it.” She chuckled tonelessly. ”Like me.”

But then his conclusion didn’t make sense. ”You want to… Her heart stuttered. ”Start over?”

She blinked uncomprehendingly.

Vanator wanted to have a life, with her. He had children, fathered by mothers long passed and a great hurt, from the scars of bondage. That much was evident. To try again and with her? She didn’t deserve it, but how could she say no? He had always been on her mind and forever would be. Every burden she’d bear, she’d bear it gladly.

”I would do that.” Her cornflower eyes blazed. ”I wish to stay here.” Fighting a smile, she made her true confession. ”I would have, actually. Just to see you alive and happy each day. I realized finding you had been my only goal. Someone needs to keep you out of trouble, evidently.” She smiled, reckless joy tearing through her every fiber. ”I can’t believe how much the same you really are. I thought about you each day, but memories can’t touch the real deal.”

She wore a cheshire grin. ”So where would you like to go from here?” It was a question with two meanings. How should they proceed? They were riding aimlessly down the beach. But also, how to move forward with their relationship? She’d not carried on any real affairs since their meeting. Sybel had been very much tied to the idea of that she might one day return, to fulfill that promise she’d made. Even as a second or third wife, it would have been fitting punishment.

”I missed you. Everything about you. Even that stupid thing you do with your thumbs when you’re nervous.” She laughed. ”That, and how you mutter in your sleep.” Not much had changed, as she’d heard some nights when the door was left ajar. Sybel’s smile was warm as if they’d never parted. ”I am much the same, though much has changed. I find I live in the realm of realism now.”

[Vanator]

Vanator felt a tentative relief at the candor of the conversation. The days since Sybel had arrived were awkward, the manner in which the former lovers avoided each other bordered on ridiculous. The Drykas knew this moment had to come, he could not have continued under the pretense that they go on pretending nothing had ever happened between them. For her part, Sybel did seem to be the same woman he had fallen in love with, though the frankness of her words spoke of the connection to reality she mentioned.

"Where do we go from here?" He repeated, a mock quizzical look on his face as he looked up at the azure summer sky. His gaze swung back to the well-traveled Benshiran, flashing a wry grin. With a subtle caress of his knees, Sirocco came to a halt. "We stop here."

Van slid from his yvas, giving the Strider stallion an affectionate smack on the haunch. The horse trotted off a few strides before slowing to examine a clump of stiff beach grass. He offered Sybel his hand in dismounting, though they both knew it was unnecessary with her rugged experience. The gesture was an acceptance, the first step, not only in the resurrection of what had been broken between them, but of Vanator's willingness to accept love again.

Once Sybel joined him on the white beach, Vanator turned to look out over the vast Suvan before them, the sea breeze lifting the hair away from their faces. Some of his most profound moments had occurred here, where the surf met the sand. "Where do we go from here." He repeated again. "I can't hold on to the past. Fate has wiped my slate clean. I will never forget what the past few years have brought, they made me who I am. But I can't cling to ghosts, or to decisions young lovers made what seemed so long ago." Vanator's voice was optimistic and edged with resolve.

"I don't want to start over." He spoke, still staring out to the horizon. The Denusk paused for a long moment, then turned to meet the crystalline blue gaze of the woman beside him. "I want to pick up where we left off. Just before...that day." The Drykas meant the day that he had asked Sybel to marry him. Long ago he admitted he had rushed into his proposal. So quickly had they fallen completely and passionately in love, Vanator had allowed it to cloud wisdom. "And though Kavala has been pretty good at keeping me out of trouble, I am sure she could use some help."

Vanator would not admit to Sybel how much he needed her. Kavala and the twins were his life now. But the Drykas needed someone for himself, he always had. He had wanted it to be Sybel all those years ago. Now was their second chance, if he could trust her. "Lets see where things take us from there. We left quite a few things unfinished." His grin took another wry twist. Their affair had been fiery but short lived, and the two of them had never even made love, caught up in a game of endurance to see who could outlast the intense desires they shared. That fact had taunted Vanator since Sybel showed up.

His hand reached out to slip into Sybel's, taking a firm but gentle grasp, Van's fingers lacing with hers like they had for the first time over five years earlier. The flutter in his stomach he had experienced then was the same. There was still a lot he wanted to share with Sybel, and things she needed to know. His reimancy, the side effects of his enslavement, and what Kavala had become. It was why he brought her here, to the solitude of the shore. He would start with Larik and Cadra. If she did not know about their true nature, Sybel could only assume the seemingly teenage youths were fathered long before he had met her.

"The twins are actually only a little over two years old, by the way. They are Kelvic, as was their mother. Kavala found them with the same slavers I was with, only a tenday or so after she bought my freedom. Funny how fate brought us all together." He flashed another smile at Sybel, indicating she too was part of that fateful reunion. Vanator himself was surprised at how quickly that giddiness returned, more subdued now that he had matured, but as deeply stirring in his core as it was when they were in Endrykas.

[Sybel]

She received his hand gladly, smoothly dismounting onto the sand. Sybel felt slightly lightheaded. He spoke of time passing and of ghosts. Those were things she knew well. Lightly, her fingers traced the lines of his palm, finding them more weathered than before. He didn’t want to start over; he wanted to move forward. ”Kavala could always use some help,” she said smiling, ”whether she’d like to admit it or not.” She waved Eplah away. The horse was reluctant to leave her side, hovering over the pair vigilantly. ”Go on, you.” She tossed her head. ”I know, I know. Go have fun with Sirocco.” With seeming irritation, the desertbred strode off toward the same clump.

What followed was heavy with implications. ”I’ll say,” she replied, mirroring his expression. The wind caressed his hair gently, brushing a tawny webwork across his cheek. She studied him, tracing every contour long forgotten, committing each one to memory yet again. ”I know you don’t trust me. Not yet.” She snatched the thought from his eyes. ”I know that. It’s okay.” The wariness would ease away with time and devotion. ”Words are feeble, carrying only desire. Actions are what lend them meaning.” Sybel fought back tears. She’d done a great deal of harm in his life. It was nearly too sweet to think he’d have her again.

She looked up toward the bowl of the heavens. ”I have my fair share of scars.” Her eyes grew haunted. ”Whatever you’ve faced, I will be here.” The vengeance of a seventeen year old girl could not even begin to equate to what came after. She’d been used, deeply wounded, very nearly killed. ”I’m not going anywhere.” She knew what the Zith did to those they enslaved. They all had that much in common. It was just a wonder they were all alive.

”Kelvic, huh?” She puzzled it over. ”That would explain it, then. Perhaps they grow in accordance with the animal they represent.” Sybel began to ponder aloud. ”It could indicate that they favor beast over man. But maybe it’s just a way to reconcile the two forms, synchronizing the traits of both.” She blinked. ”Oh, sorry.” Those were his children she was referring to. ”They both seem very dutiful. You raised them well.” She hadn’t even realized they were but a few years old. ”What sort of animals are they? It might be good to know, in case they try to relay something secret.” It was always good to plan ahead. If the Sanctuary were attacked, it might behoove them to conceal their true identities.

She smiled at him, feeling her heart lurch. This resolution was far better than she’d even dreamed. It still eluded her, how he could be so forgiving… But perhaps she was too hard on herself. He’d loved and lost since then. ”Let’s pick up where we left off.” She gently squeezed his hand. ”As it turns out, the wind blew me right back to you.”

[Vanator]

Trust. His eyes had betrayed his reluctant question, the residue of hurt that suggested Sybel be proven before she received his heart again. Vanator did not want her to see it, but she was perceptive, and he was not adept at concealing his emotions. Stronger, though, was his resolution to overcome their history, to accept her as she was, without trial or test. More aware, perhaps, but not with the blinding infatuation that had defined his love for Sybil before. She was full of promises. This time, he would hold the woman to them all.

Van's gaze lingered on the Benshiran beauty as her face lifted to the sky, the arch of her slender neck exposed as the sea breeze flung her dark hair back. He had no doubt Sybel had suffered her share of scars. The revelation of the physical and emotional wounds they had both suffered would come in time. Vanator would insist upon it, even though it would be difficult. Kavala and he had bared all before one another, and it brought them closer than they have ever been, forging a sibling relationship that helped sustain them both.

A smile curled at the corner of his lips as Sybel offered a rather clinical opinion on the nature of his children, before realizing how sterile it sounded. "They are...good kids. Unfortunately I have played little part in their up bringing. A lot has happened in their short lifespan, and they mature so quickly there has been little time for anyone to really raise them. Their mother would not stay with me, choosing to raise them alone, then they were enslaved, for how long I'm not sure. We have only had them since the Fall. They did favor their animal nature, pretty feral. Kavala said it was how they survived slavery, by clinging to the animal in them. But it made it hard to get to know them, and to make them a part of our family here. But they are coming along." He smiled with pride. "Larik is the falcon, Cadra the cat. You have probably seen them around and didn't even know it was them."

The conversation about the twins was a suitable distraction, but Vanator did not want to be distracted from the woman that had been eating at his soul since she rode back into his life. The gentle grasp of her hand in his was an anchor to a new reality. The palm of Sybel's hand was rougher than he remembered, caressing the callouses on is own.

If they were truly picking up where they had left off, than Vanator's next action was well warranted. With a gentle tug on her hand, the Drykas pulled the woman closer, his other hand lifting to cradle her cheek. Gold-flecked dark eyes met icy blue with intention. Leaning in, those same eyes darted down to Sybel's soft lips, a tick before he pressed a kiss against them.

He lingered there for a long moment, nerves scintillating at the simple, sensual contact. Vanator's hand squeezed Sybel's gently, confirming the forgiveness, acceptance, and rekindled desire he offered his long lost love. From that point on, there would be no more mention of the broken betrothal, no revival of the hurts of the past, and with the press of his mouth on hers, he assured her there was no need for more explanations, apologies or contrition. Retreating just enough for his lips to pull free of Sybel's, another smile graced his face. "Walk with me." Van directed, turning to head down the beach, still holding her hand. "Tell me, what wonders of this world have you seen, my well-traveled beauty?"

[Sybel]

Sybel listened quietly, eyes on the surf. His entire life had changed since she knew him and it was just as well. She too, was different. But this time, they’d grow together rather than apart. Also, it seemed her initial supposition was correct; Kelvic matured rapidly. But it only implied more pain. They’d burn bright and quick, but gutter out just as quickly. Vanator had limited time with his children. Sybel silently resolved to come to know them, so they might all call themselves a family one day. It just felt so heartbreaking, so bittersweet.

He turned to face her and her heart trembled. The touch of his hand sent a sublime chill up her spine. Every hurt, every second apart seemed so inconsequential. Looking at those eyes simply erased it all. As her kissed her, tears rushed to her eyes and for the first time since their reunion, Sybel felt true unadulterated joy. She held on lightly, hand at his hip. Something within wanted more, to truly taste him again. But she restrained the urge, unwilling to push further. Not just yet.

”Yes,” she breathed, agonized at their separation. Of course she’d walk with him. They began to move once more, though it felt curiously like standing still. ”Where could I even begin?” She chuckled lightly. ”Sylira is a vast region and one that I know well. I’ve just come from Zeltiva and I’m glad for that. Last I heard the whole city was at odds. I’m not really sure what’s happening, aside from it having to do with the Denvali Quarter.”

Of course, that too required elaboration. ”Denval is a city in Kalea, the region west of Taldera. Apparently, something happened to them during the storm a few years past. They were forced to flee to Zeltiva. I happened to work for Adarin, the leader of their faction. He was a terrible bigot, and unforgiving at that. Had I stayed, I’d be stuck right in the middle of whatever’s happening.” In retrospect, leaving was perhaps the best decision she’d ever made.

”Thank you, by the way.” She smiled, flushing slightly. ”You never once pressed me or put me down. I’m grateful.” Had he, things would have happened quite differently. But that would be her last mention of the whole affair, hoping to move forward. ”So… Why wouldn’t the mother stay? Of the twins, I mean. Didn’t she love you?” She frowned. How could anyone not love Vanator?

[Vanator]

Vanator glanced over his shoulder, seeing the Strider and Desertbred snuffling each other. Their mounts were getting acquainted as Van and Sybel became reaqcuainted. The couple's pace was leisurely, as if unwilling to rush the moment. Vanator's gaze followed Sybel's to the line where the tide reached the sand, then back to his returned companion. She spoke of distant cities and lands, some he had heard of, others, like Denval, were unfamiliar. For the first time, he felt a twinge of jealousy of her travels. Van had never really desired to go beyond Cyphrus, everything that made him who he was resided in the grasslands, as did everyone who had needed him. Yet, he had on more than one occasion in the past years wondered what it would have been like if he had gone with Sybel on her journeys.

"Then it truly is a good thing all around that the winds drove you here." The Drykas offered with a smile. He offered no response to her voiced gratitude, only an acknowledgment in his warm brown gaze that the past would never be used against her. The next question posed by Sybel caught Van off guard. Answering that question could open more about a time in his life that he was not very proud of, and he felt a bit awkward discussing it with Sybel. Van averted his eyes, his smile waning and growing sheepish.

"She did love me, but I discovered that too late. We were friends, though the mutual feelings were certainly there. The babies...well, that came after a night we both drank too much at a wedding reception, though I didn't know she was pregnant. When I agreed to marry a Drykas woman, It crushed Pygmy. Only then did I see how much she cared for me, and that a Kelvic bond had already started between us. She broke it, insisted I give her a new name, and then disappeared. It wasn't until later that I found out about the twins. I got to seem them, once, when Pygmy returned to Endrykas, but my wife and family drove her away. I did not see them again until Kavala freed them from the slavers about a tenday after I was freed." Another pause hung in the air, before Vanator spoke again, his voice softer. "We believe their mother is dead." In a way, Vanator held himself responsible. If he had been able to get Pygmy to stay, she may still be alive.

His hold on Sybel's hand tightened, as if to take consolation from the contact. "My father would not accept them as Denusk. But now, they are." Van could not help but wonder...would things work out, would Bel be Denusk too? The Drykas finally met the raven-haired woman's eyes, his smile brightening. "You don't have any children...do you?"

[Sybel]

The mood was decidedly melancholy, up to the point he asked about her children. Sybel laughed out loud, the outburst very nearly startling. Oh, how little he knew. ”Children?” She shook her head, still in the throes of it. ”I’m sorry; I’m just laughing at the notion. I’ve barely even kept men’s company in that regard, let alone decided to take it farther. I will admit to getting too drunk here and there myself, but I knew a child or a lover even would just tether me down.” Plus, all the while she had thoughts of him to keep her company. But he didn’t have to know that.

”I’d like to get tethered on my own terms, you might say.” She gave him a shy smile. ”Anyway, you’d be the Ankal now by default. Isn’t that right? With all that has happened, who’s to say who is or isn’t Denusk?” It would be up to Van and Kavala, now. Sybel silently agreed with herself that if Pygmy turned out alive, she’d not drive her away like others had. Not to look good or to right some sort of wrong, but for the twins - children needed their mother. It would be wrong to deny her. And perhaps there was a slice of altruism beneath it all, too. There could be yet another Denusk.

”You’re sweet,” she murmured, unable to resist. How she should have told him every day, before. ”What’s it like, to be an armsmaster? Sharpening blades and teaching Konti how to wield swords?” Her laughter fluttered along the breeze, fingers squeezing his affectionately. ”I know the Sanctuary is all about earning your keep, so I’d be more than happy to help you whenever I can.” She said this earnestly, though a hint of mischief lingered in her eyes. Vanator made her feel seventeen all over again.

As they traveled further, Sybel let free a happy sigh. ”Did you remember how I love the sea?” She gestured with the incline of her head. ”I remember the first time I saw it, standing with my Father and his caravan. That was the very first time I left Eyktol, just a girl of nine. I remember feeling immensely grateful… Because I suddenly realized wherever there’s sand, there’s just as much sea. There’s hope, evergreen, if you can just make it through the desert.” Sybel simply smiled mysteriously, her greatest reward smiling back.

”How do you like to entertain yourself these days?” That was punctuated by a wry grin. Most likely with beautiful women and the thought was amusing, suddenly. For a man so alone, she very much doubted it; loneliness was lack of preferred company, not the absence of it entirely. But she wouldn’t tease him just yet. She needed a record of good behavior first, before she went around abusing it. Not that he wouldn’t read it straight from her eyes anyway. She was just giddy to be with him.