[Harrier's SB] A little birdy told me

[Ball]

-hugs Harrier- I watched a few of those episodes and they do the same tear jerky reaction to me. -nods- Can't say I lost a friend, I have lost family, but no friends.

[Harrier]

I've had family die too but it never garnered the same reaction. My immediate family didn't really live near any of the extended or grandparents so I knew them but my brother and I weren't attached the same way to them. They were just relatives we visited occasionally during the holidays.

[Taylani]

I am so sorry for your loss Harrier. Grief hits us all in different ways, some of us -read me- deal with it piss-poorly other's deal with it in far healthier venues but we all deal. It is not how we deal but that we do. I have had four major deaths in my life, two I was young enough to where it impacted me peripherally ..as much as death can be peripheral. My friend and my sister both died a month apart, the thing was my sister who died April 1993 had lived with her real Dad for most of her life, I can't even remember when she lived with us. I was effected by my Mom's grief more then her death. It bothers me that I was not effected more by her death, but she was mostly a name for me. I was 13. The next two was the ones that devastated me and the ones that I still find myself bawling over.

February 23rd 1996, almost 2 months exactly before my 16th birthday my father passed away. I was a giant Daddy's girl, and while it was obvious that he was not going to live to a ripe old age even to me, the self-absorbed teenager most of us become around 14-16, it still did not make it any easier. I was the one that took care of him in the last year of his life when he was on Peritineal Dialysis for renal failure, he was legally blind and they were talking of amputating his legs. He had type 1 diabetes that he did not manage well. When he passed, it was on one hand a relief because he was in so much pain and miserable. But on the much bigger selfish hand, I was crushed. Both my younger sister (surviving sister) and I dealt in our own ways, and both of us dealt badly because our mother was beyond devastated. We went from having 2 parents to parenting ourselves when we were 14 and 16 years old...not a good combination. My sister dabbled with drugs..mine well I dabbled with men..to say I had Daddy issues was putting it mildly. (my husband is 16 years older then myself, only a year younger then what my Dad would be..yeah)

I wont go into the gritty details but it took another death to really wake me up from my self-destructive lifestyle. My mother saw the road my sister and I were on, and by the time she did I dont think she thought she could do anything but remove us from the situation. So in the middle of my senior year in HS she moved us from Ky, to Louisiana. Ugh, lets say that did not help my mind state but I met this boy who was the sweetest boy in the world. It was not romantic, he identified as gay and I helped him with the drag shows he would do at the gay bar "Unique". Didn't stop me from loving him completely, platonically. He stepped in and really stopped me from destroying my body with what I was doing. He even managed to reign in my sister..and he was only two years older then I was. He just had a maturity about him. We got close, he was godfather to my first daughter, and she called him Uncle Jamsie (James was his name). He was in a car accident, driving home from Unique at 2 am. They said he fell a sleep at the wheel. I will never forget the role he played in saving my life. His death devastated me but it did so on a far different level then my Fathers, because he had done so much to shore up my self-esteem and self-respect. I still married a man literally old enough to be my father, but its much healthier then my relationships that I was throwing my life away on. That is directly thanks to Uncle Jamsie.


There's my story, as you asked for others story, and it was nice to be able to tell just how much my father and James meant to me. Thanks

[Harrier]

*hugs Tay tight* That was really moving, Tay, and I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, but glad you were able to find someone who helped you through some of it in the end. Keep strong, chica.

[Taylani]

*huggers Harrier* I am who I am because of these. It's not really about HOW we get there sometimes, just that we get there in one piece

[Harrier]

Mostly short, but I owe folks an apology. I've been...somewhat rude of late and taking this whole NaNo thing a bit too aggressively and I feel I may have left the wrong impression on some of you as a result.

I have a very intense competitive streak that tends to get the worst of me. My intent with Nano was, yes, get the top word count, but by developing Lavira more, delving into who and what she is through it. I wanted to use the presence of other writers on the Nano board as the right push I needed to do certain stories I'd wanted to do with Lavira which I would have otherwise procrastinated doing. For that, you all have done fabulously; however, I responded very poorly. Instead of gratitude, I've been an arrogant jerk. And some of you have been nothing but humble and kind about it.

I'm not exactly good at writing apologies so I'll try and cut it here.

I'm sorry, miz. I'll try to be more mindful of my actions abroad.

x

(c) Phoenix

[Ball]

Competition happens -nods-

[Harrier]

Close Encounters with a bull kind

What a neat experience and the guy is so lucky! The tines on that young bull could have easily injured him. I'm shocked by how bold that elk was, honestly.

It kind of reminds me of my trip to Yellowstone when I was in JHS. The family was driving down one of the roads in the park when up ahead this bison walks out onto the roadway from the surrounding pineforest. Now, we could see him coming, mind you, because this is about a decade after the famous Yellowstone Wildfire that happened. Most of the undergrowth had yet to completely grow back and all of the trees were still badly charred.

So this big ol bison comes trolloping out of the woods and onto the roadway and begins this slow walk towards up. We're in a small caravan and the bison is BIGGER than it! The bull's head is almost higher than the windshield and the hump pokes above the vans roof (though we had a cartop carrier on). And this big ol bull just keeps moseying down the roadway at us and all these other cars have gotten off to the side of the road. But dad, who was driving at the time, didn't want to risk that big guy charging us. His horns were massive, all curled in with that thick wooly hair hanging around.

The bison gets up beside our van then and stops. Dad's window is partly down at the time and he can just hear the things breaths. "Hhrrrff hrrff hrrfff" as he snorts through his nose. For probably a good thirty seconds, this bull is just standing there staring at us, and then, like nothing, he mosey's on past us and off into the forest behind the van. One of the coolest experiences I have ever had. I wish I knew where the pictures were, I would love to show you guys.

[Gossamer]

Another wildlife loss in the world. The guy got all the fame, but the elk got a bullet in the head from the park service for being too socialized with people. Great story. Glad it went around the internet like it did to show people how approaching wildlife can be so dangerous... not really always to you, but to the wildlife themselves. I hope the photographer enjoys his fame.

[Ball]

Poor elk