Completed Only Home I Know

[Litani]

Timestamp: 60th day, Summer season 513 The ride was hard and she was exhausted. For days, it seemed that she’d slept in the saddle and at times, she felt so numb that she thought it a miracle to look down and find her legs still attached. Her body was burnt from the sun, bruised from the saddle and blistering from the speed she’d forced herself to keep. Her lower back was desperately screaming at her to dismount and never look at another horse again. Yet she kept on. *** Riverfall had been incredible... but for many reasons, both inside and out, she could not allow herself to stay. Her father was dead - coming to the place where he used to live did nothing to change the fact. Instead, it served as a too-vivid reality of what she wanted so badly and yet could not have. She wanted vengeance, but there was nothing to fight. She wanted justice, but there was no wrong to correct. And most of all, she wanted to turn back the seasons and come to Riverfall sooner... when he’d asked. When she might’ve been here to save him. She’d found no way to reconcile that into anything remotely resembling a functioning acceptance... She’d only turned farther into a shell of mourning, depressive and hating herself for being unable to treasure the beauty of Riverfall without it reducing her too often to tears. Tears that she needed to hide in a city full of strangers. She felt weak and she felt like a disappointment. She should be better than this, stronger, able to stand on her own feet like the adult she was. Always steady and calm, all her life... only to be undone by the loss of the one person who’d loved her more than life itself. She had to flee... before sorrow consumed her. And Dasreide? He’d held her at knife-point, broken into her room, stalked her to the riverside and proclaimed her his mate... only to tell her in the following breath that he would be leaving Riverfall without her. All by their second meeting. He constantly compared her to the women of his past, he spoke to her like a child, he seemed random and unpredictable... He was dangerous, unstable, hadn’t even a name for his ‘shadow’ self. The two souls fought without balance in his mind, without the sharing of consciousness that she knew was so necessary. How many times had her father warned her of the Akalak’s true nature? It made her burn with fury and shame to remember her naive trust, but in the end, she’d lost nothing - nothing but time and perhaps a slice of her pride. Still, the way in which the two parted had twisted her heart every time she'd thought about it. She'd been so close to giving in... so close. I shouldn’t’ve let myself believe, she’d tell herself, scolding, every time that she thought about it during the journey. I’m going back home. Back where I’m needed. In reality, she had no promise that Alder’s door would still be open to her. She had no specific reason to believe that it would not - save perhaps for the way things had ended between them. But he never lied, and neither did I. We both knew. I thought I was doing the right thing to leave.... I thought I could do it alone. And I was a fool to leave the only home I’d ever known and search for ghosts instead. She’d made the proper preparations. The harp she’d bought in Riverfall? The Gildling who had been her loyal companion? Both set to arrive in Syliras on the next caravan, early in the fall season. She’d not risk either for the sake of her break-neck speed, would not ask the instrument or her beloved steed to pay the price for her stupidity and childish emotions. But another ‘walk’ across the Sea of Grass was out of the question... Especially after her dream. She needed out, now, and there would be no one to accompany her until far past when she wanted to already be in Syliras. If she meant to hold onto whatever threads of identity she had, she needed out. The only reason left to stay was too dangerous... for many reasons. *** Day after day, she rode. Her mind wandered back to Riverfall, ahead to Syliras, and sometimes cast itself out amongst the grains and scrub trees of the Sea. She tried not to think about the dream she’d had, that night before she’d left Riverfall. Tried not to remember the way she’d felt when the dream-Zith had taken her in his arms, tried to fly away with her imprisoned against his blade. Tried not to remember the emerald eyes of the Drykas who’d saved her... Yet if her thoughts tried to forget him, her eyes seemed to disagree - every so often, she’d catch herself scanning the horizon, turning in the saddle to look around herself, looking for evidence of another rider or a band of Drykas hunters. I need to stretch, she’d tell herself. That’s all. My back is killing me! ...I need to stretch. And she’d steal a glance again, just to be certain. But that is all it ever was. Glances. Empty looks across the great expanse. There was nothing there... no ghost of her father watching her, no dreamed warrior protecting her. Just... nothing. But I am here, now. The sky is warm, the horse is strong... I am here. Now. She rode on. *** By the time she saw Syliras, she was swaying in her saddle and almost asleep. The darkness of the night was stolen across the sky and yet the lights of the keep woke her, goading her on, promising the rest she so sorely needed. Never did a sight look more appealing and, as she weakly raised an arm to hail the guardsman, she blessed every God and Goddess she had a name for. The guard saw her in and, from some misplaced sense of respect, she dismounted... and nearly collapsed when the ground hit her feet. The lathered horse dutifully, mercifully stood still for her to cling to and, fiercely gritting her teeth, she forced herself to stand. It was probably all unnecessary on her part - doubtless they could see she was but a solitary, exhausted rider in need of shelter. But still, she bent her twisted back in a gentle bow and, bravely stifling a cringe, she gave them the name of her mentor. The healer and philterer. The apothecary, Alder. She was his apprentice, she told them, coughing the words on dry lips and trying to explain. By some mercy of the Gods, they nodded and let her pass. She knew the way and she was nothing to them; she needed neither escort nor direction and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to get any closer to her right now. She was covered in sweat and dirt, the blisters had broken into bleeding and the only things that got her through the Syliran streets were the white knuckles of her hand on the saddle and her stiff-necked determination. The horse must be seen to. In no corner of her mind did she even consider neglecting him; he’d been too kind, run too far and for too long, he deserved the best she could afford for his care. Dimly aware of where she was, she padded slowly through the streets until she came to a stable near the tavern called the Rearing Stallion. Prices usually went up if you had to trouble the stablehands to care for a horse at night; she knew and didn’t care that she was overcharged. She begged them wearily to care for him, promised to return on the morrow, let them take her money. She had neither the will nor the interest in finding another establishment. Not with this one so close to where she needed to go... And then, like a stony and shadowed gift from the Gods, she saw his shop. Standing there majestic and humble in the darkness of midnight, shuttered and quiet and unaware that it was the very essence of salvation right that moment, there it was. The doorframe creaked gently as she touched it, the way it always did. For a moment, she allowed herself to sigh and relief coursed through her body... from the peeling scales on her face to the melting joints of her feet. Her forehead rested against the door as she tried to make her mind muddle through whether or not to knock. She had a key, she’d always had one, but she’d left. Did she have a right to just let herself back in...? Respect begrudgingly drove the last of her strength to knock. Softly at first, hesitating, knowing she’d wake him and the house and not wanting to do so. But what was the alternative? They wake up finding her in her old room? That’d go over well. What if he’d taken another student? What if she’d been replaced? ...she didn’t want to think about that. Couldn't, in fact, if she meant to keep standing. She knocked again, weakly, trying to summon the courage to smash the side of her hand harder against the wood. And then, by some continuing miracle, a flicker of light caught her eyes at the window. She heard the bolts sliding. I didn’t even knock that hard... Theirs was not a long look. It didn’t have to be. Understanding passed where words would have failed anyway and, in near silence, Alder opened the door and took her into his arms. The only thing she heard him say as her head hit his shoulder was, “Oh Lit...” She felt his hand on her hair and felt consciousness surrender. *** “Like HELL you are.” “Oh don’t do this. Please?” “Like hell, Lit! This isn’t a conversation.” “I need to work!” “You need to...? No. You’re insane. Did that ride knock something loose upstairs?” Alder tapped the side of his head, his blue eyes flashing back at hers. “No but I...” “No. You rest until I say otherwise.” He wasn’t budging on this, she could see that. With a sigh, she shook her head, not quite ready to give up but not quite sure she was strong enough to fight. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she smiled as she felt them fall back into familiar patterns already. But outwardly, she was in no condition to do anything but sit meekly while he started to dab ointment on the worst of her sun-burnt scales. For now, the debate paused. “...how’d this happen? You run out?” She nodded and he shook his head faintly, frowning at her but with gentleness in his eyes. The sun was not kind to her pale skin and, halfway through the journey, she’d used the last of the protective salve she had. From there, it was a contest whether to shade herself with a saddle blanket or keep it between her and the horse... She’d had a hard time deciding which hurt worse. There was a moment of silence as Alder worked, patient and gentle. Then she asked quietly, “How did Rask recover from...” “No.” “What about your...” “No.” “Alder!” “What part of ‘no’ isn’t getting through?” Alder laughed slightly and knocked the side of his hand against her upper arm, lightly but enough to set her off balance. Enough to remind her of how bruised and painful the lower half of her body was at the moment. After a string of unladylike curses escaped her and she righted herself, gingerly, she glared at him and he only twitched an eyebrow in response. “When THAT doesn’t happen anymore, THEN you talk to me about work. Not until. Got it?” With a grumble under her breath, she nodded. Then she thought of something. “I still want to contribute. I have money.” She remembered the arrangement they’d had in the past - part of her earnings went to the upkeep of the shop, in exchange for her education and housing there. “If you want to make yourself poorer, that’s fine. As long as it’ll shut you up.” He said the words softly, but she knew from his choice of words that he meant business. Then he gave her a slight, boyish smirk. Suddenly she felt her heart melting... and suddenly she felt afraid. She didn’t do it very often, and she knew that he knew that, but for right now, she needed to... She reached out to touch his arm, holding there lightly, feeling him and seeking solace in the connection she knew so well. He responded in kind, lightly draping his arm around her shoulders and allowing the contact to continue as a shiver of pain went through her body. Whether it was physical pain or emotion, or perhaps some combination of the two, neither healer cared to question. For this moment, there was nothing else but the two of them, together. “You could have taken another” she said quietly, after a time. “I won’t.” The stubbornness in his voice was clear - no other apprentice, ever. Only her. She smiled weakly and squeezed his arm in wordless gratitude. He held her closer for a moment before the pair started to drift apart. “I’m glad to see you,” he said then, gently replacing the walls that made up their friendship and professional relationship. She nodded, knowing what she was seeing, agreeing. It felt so good to be home.

[Radiant]

njaa

Litani :

Experience

Skill	XP Earned
Observation	+1 XP
Socialization	+1 XP
Riding: Horse	+2 XP
Wilderness Survival	+1 XP

Lores

Lore Earned

I cannot stay in Riverfall

Painful memories of Riverfall

The journey to Syliras

It felt so good to be home

Loots

Notes :

A beautiful solo, Litani. Hope to see more of her in Syliras!

My radiance is not bright enough?

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade, beam me a PM and we can work it out.