Flashback To Leave It All Behind (Kawa)

[Vanari]

Vanari whooped, throwing her hands in the air. "Excellent! You won't regret it, I promise! We'll have the best food--although you might want to avoid the sea urchin--and lots of pretty girls who will simply wilt when they see you play," she hinted not so subtly. Then she looked at the sinking sun and panicked a little. "Ahh, I'm going to be in so much trouble. I'm sorry I have to go so soon, but if you follow the noise you should find our feasting hall without a problem. I'll be sure to find you myself before it all starts!"

Before she'd even finished her last sentence, the girl was already breaking into a run, creating fat dimples in the snow. "See you there!" she shouted, waving vigorously before plowing full speed ahead.

By the time she reached home, her sides were burning and she was completely out of breath.

"Thank the gods, there you are!" her mother screeched. "We've been worried sick, thinking you had completely forgotten. Hurry, we don't have much time!"

"Like I could have forgotten, Mother," Vanari muttered as she was rudely shepherded inside. Her mother shoved her into her chambers and the teenager groaned at the sight of all the various dresses, stockings, and hair pieces neatly laid out over her bed. On top of that, the room was overcrowded with aunts, cousins, and even neices, all eagerly awaiting her next three hours of torture. The room suddenly felt like a furnace, and her leathers and furs were sticking unpleasantly to her skin. "Mother, seriously?"

"You want to be an Icemaiden already? Then by all means, go to your own Birthing Day Feast dressed as you are. Sania's already declaring herself the prettiest thing ever that walked the face of Mizahar. If you want your younger sister to outshine you, then that's your funeral."

Mother. Always so tactful. Vanari scowled and grumpily peeled off her furs. "If you're saying I should be more like Sania, you can just kill me right now."

"Don't be so dramatic. You know what I mean. Now, ladies, it's your job to fix her up as best you can! I'll be busy overseeing tonight's course. Vanari, chin up! And stop scowling, remember the wrinkles."

Her mother slammed the door shut as she left. It wouldn't have surprised the girl if she'd had gone as far as locking it, too. As soon as the tyrant was gone, the other ladies in the room clamored around her, fussing and arguing over what should or shouldn't be done to this and that. Vanari did her best not to throw herself out the window, and instead reminded herself repeatedly of how surprised everyone would be at Kawa's unexpected performance tonight. He was going to blow them all away, she was sure of it!

[Kawa Snowsong]

Yet again, Kawa found himself blinking in surprise, as he stared at the spot the girl used to occupy.

"Er... Ok then... Well, If I am truly expected to perform, then I must pick the perfect story to play... Hm..."

There was a lot of preparing to do, but firstly, he had to stop by his Hold and let mother know where he would be.

As it turned out, that was necessary, as the boy ran into Ganar on his way back to Snowsong. Quite literally ran into him, in fact, as Kawa wasn't paying attention.

No surprise there.

One apology from Kawa and a belly laugh from Ganar later, the two found themselves in a very quick conversation.

"Ganar, would you mind telling mother and father that I won't be home until later tonight?"

"Uh, sure kid. But do ya mind me asking why?"

"Not at all! I met a very... energetic girl about an hour ago, while I was practicing on my flute. She heard my music, and has invited me to perform at her Birthing Day Feast."

That got Ganar's attention.

"Really? Well now, that was unexpected. Do ya know what Hold she's of?"

"Yes, she's of... Um... Er..."

"I'll take that as a no..."

"Well, I guess she forgot to mention it..."

"Heh, guess she did. But it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. She obviously ain't of Snowsong, or you would have known her, and the only female celebrating a Birthing Day in ColdWater is seventy-three. Plus, a Birthing Day is big news among the Holds, so just asking around should point ya in the right direction."

"Oh, of course! You're right as usual Ganar, thank you!"

"Not a problem, boy. Guess you won't be dying a lone man after all..."

At that Kawa, who had started to run off, stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes and cheeks both turning a bright pink.

"G...Ganar! Please, she is simply a person who I actually managed to impress with my talent. I'm honored to play at such an important event."

"Whatever you say, kid. Oh, one last thing, you ain't going dressed like that are ya?"

Kawa took a moment to glance down at his fur clothing, which he always wore.

"Why not? It is cold here, remember."

"And yet you still refuse to wear gloves. Alright, kid, good luck."

Giving a quick salute, Kawa turned and began running again, intent on finding where it was he was supposed to be going.

Ganar, meanwhile, simply watched him leave, before sighing.

"Mighty gods, please let this work out for him. I just don't want to see him put that dagger to use..."

[Vanari]

Vanari didn't know how she survived as long as she did, but by the time the bell rang for the feast to start she was heaving her way out the door, kicking her heavy skirts up out of the way as a flock of relatives trailed after her, fussing up to the very last second.

When she reached the stairs, she whirled around to address the gaggle of chattering women. "Ladies, thank you so much for helping me today," she forced, huffing from the effort of moving with so much fabric at her feet.

"Oh dear, you'll make your mother so proud," one of her aunts warbled, dabbing a teary eye with a handkerchief. "Look how grown up and lovely you look!"

You mean how well prepared for an indoor blizzard I look, Vanari seethed, shaking loose a piece of fabric that had snagged on her velvet shoes. Gods, how am I supposed to even move in this thing?"

The girl sighed. At least they hadn't made any comments concerning husbands. Yet. "Yes, yes, thank you very much auntie. Now if you will excuse me, I have a very important guest to find. He must be terribly lost in this mess..."

She hadn't meant to say that last part out loud, but there were too many things on her mind and too little space to breathe.

"Oh, Vee, you've met a boy!"
"What is he like? Is he handso--"
"What hold is he from? Hopefully not Frostfa--"
"Does he have a beard? He m--"
"Who? Where? Show us!"
"--ust have a beard, he'd have to be a full grown man to be as tall as you!"

At this last comment, they all erupted in girlish, high-pitched laughter.

Fortunately for Vanari, she heard nothing past the third question. She was already all the way at the bottom of the stairs, searching frantically for Kawa.

So stupid, she berated herself, didn't even tell him what hold I'm from. How could I forget something so simple?

Every other person was trying to congratulate her as she passed by, as though continuing to exist until the age of eighteen was some kind of achievement. She nodded and smiled as politely as she could, but her mind was so far gone with worry that she nearly ran over her own mother.

"Oh there you are, dear! Come see who's showed up for your feast!"

Vanari's heart leaped for a second, thinking her mother had somehow found Kawa wondering around like a lost bird. When the older woman stepped aside and revealed whom she was referring to, however, the girl's hopes deflated.

"Hello, Nari!" Tirelin chirped. "Wow, that's a whole lot of...dress you're wearing. Have you seen Sania?"

Vanari made a sound of disgust and turned to leave, having altogether given up on appearing social, and promptly banged her shoulder resoundingly on the doorway.

"Petching hell," she swore under her breath, clutching her shoulder as it flared with pain.

"Vanari, dear, language!" her mother hissed, mindful of their guests. "When have you become such a barbarian..."

The Vantha teen was already gone, shoveling her way through the crowd, heedless of everything around her. It was too much. She felt like she was going to explode. She had to get some air, fast.

Vanari ignored all the remarks and confused stares as she burst from the feasting hall, greeting the sudden drop in temperature with closed eyes and a sigh of relief. She tilted her face up at the gentle snow. The night air was blissfully cool, soothing both her burning cheeks and throbbing shoulder. It felt like a whole year had passed in there, and the feast had only just begun.

When she opened her eyes again, she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sight of Kawa, who was standing by himself in the snow, looking around forlornly.

"Kawa, you made it!" she shouted, waving to him from the other side of the street, all her troubles forgotten.

[Kawa Snowsong]

'I did?' Kawa thought, glancing around in search of the source of the familiar voice.

When he finally saw Vanari, he did a double-take, and felt some of the pink return to his cheeks. Quickly, he composed himself, and fast-walked over to his new friend.

"Ah, Vanari. Sorry it took me so long, I was all the way over by the Winterflame Hold before I found someone who could tell me that the celebration was at Skyglow..." Realizing he was about to start rambling, Kawa coughed and looked around before returning his eyes to Vanari...

There was that pink again.

"Uh, you look very nice, by the way. Now I understand what Ganar meant, I am quite undressed..." He said, glancing down at his brown furs again.

[Vanari]

Vanari let out a surprised laugh--her first for the entire evening so far--and slapped Kawa heartily on the shoulders.

"I think you mean underdressed, Kawa. Just imagine, you walking around here naked as the day you were born..." Vanari giggled as she wiped a tear before it froze on her face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd cried from laughter. It felt good.

"But hey, don't worry about it! I have so many cousins and nephews here, I'm sure one of them will have a fine tunic or two to spare, if it bothers you so much. Come on, the feast is just about to start!"

Before the boy could respond, Vanari steered him like a cart towards the back entrance to the kitchens.

"If you want to look presentable, we'll have to be discreet," she grinned deviously, "and I know just the person to help us. Fin! Over here, quick!"

A dashing, well-groomed teen of roughly the same age extracted himself from a hoard of simpering girls and made his way towards the odd little duo. The young women behind him pouted, but Fin smiled handsomely at the sight of his favorite cousin.

"What is it now, coz? And who is this lost looking pup?"

"Mind your manners, Fin. He's Kawa of Snowsong hold, and he's our special guest for the night," Vanari haughtily answered.

"Ohh? And by special you mean..."

"I mean he's going to knock your stockings off with his performance," Vanari countered. "And that's why we need your help. He doesn't feel quite...dressed for the part."

She fervently hoped she wasn't embarrassing her new friend, but they were short on time. She could already hear the wine being poured as guests began taking their seats at the feasting table.

"Well, I suppose, for my favorite cousin on her Birthing Day, I might be able to do something about that..."

"Oh, thank you Fin!" Vanari gushed with relief, quickly embracing him. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Don't bother," he chuckled, "consider it a gift. Now, Kawa was it? Pleased to meet you. If you'll just follow me..."

"Don't worry, he'll take good care of you," Vanari whispered. "You can sit together at the feast and he'll introduce you to all the prettiest girls! And don't worry about the performance, I'll have make a whole speech before I introduce you--it'll be terribly obvious and boring, you'll see."

Vanari gave Kawa the biggest hug she could muster in her cumbersome dress. "You're going to knock 'em dead, I know it! So don't worry yourself and have a good time. I'll see you both there!"

She was about to go, but there was one last thing. "And don't overdo yourself, Fin, or you're gonna regret not being the center of attention for once," Vanari warned with a wink, then hurried to take her place at the head of the feasting table.

[Kawa Snowsong]

"I feel ridiculous..." Kawa muttered, glancing down at the clothes he had been given. He knew that Skyglow was the Hold of art and expression... But this...

On the plus side, he now somewhat understood why Vanari was so uncomfortable.

"You look fine. Unless someone looks twice at you, there's no way they'll be able to tell you apart from a family member." Fin said, leading the younger Vantha down what Kawa assumed was the same hallway that he had been ushered into a few minutes earlier, before being shoved into a room with these... Interesting garments. Though Fin was guiding his so quickly Kawa was having a hard time even comprehending what direction he was heading at the moment.

"Why are you in such a rush? Vanari already told us that we have plenty of time. It didn't take me that long to change did it?" Kawa asked, stumbling on... something as he fast-walked after the long-striding Fin. He had no questions of why they had dressed him up, Fin had already informed him of the two major reasons.

One, it was just respectful to dress nicely for a Birthing Day Feast, if you could call this strange outfit 'Nice'.

And more importantly, Vanari's mother would most likely have some... oppositions to a guest at her daughter's party showing up in fur clothing.

"Well, Vanari told you that I would introduce you to all the cute girls, and I ain't about to make a liar out of my cousin." Fin replied, a wicked grin coming onto his face.

'Oh gods...' Kawa felt his whole body tense up at that, and his throat suddenly went dry.

Coughing, the Vantha nodded, turning his head to hide his eyes from the person he had suddenly developed a disliking for.

"Ah... Yeah, of course, we wouldn't to do that would we?"

[Vanari]

"If you don't stop talking right this second, I'm going to cut you," Vanari seethed, her knuckles growing white as she gripped her cutting knife for emphasis.

"Stars and stones, Vee," Sania surrendered, "no need to get so touchy. I was just asking, is all. Who is he, though, really?"

Tirelin's head popped into view beside Sania, but before he could speak Vanari threw up her hand, blocking his ridiculous grin from her view. "Not now, Tirelin, I'm warning you. And I already told you a hundred times, Sania--he's from Snowsong hold and our special guest. Just don't bring it up to mother. You know how she gets."

"But--"

Vanari held up her knife.

"Fine, be that way. Just don't blame me when gossip starts spreading like wildfire."

The Vantha teen shook her head. "Too late for that. Just look at them go."

She and Sania watched as girls left and right showered Kawa with attention while their mothers, intrigued, eyed each other knowingly. Thankfully, their own mother was too busy overseeing the feast's innumerable courses to notice.

Poor Kawa was pink up to his ears and it made Vanari feel terrible. She had rushed everything rather selfishly, not considering the fact that the young Snowsong might not be fond of such excessive attention. He was rather shy to begin with, and it must be unbearable to be where he was right now, even with Fin valiantly fending the girls off as best he could.

Vanari tried not to feel jealous. All the way at the other end of the table, she was bored out of her mind and picked listlessly at her food. The fare had been delicious, as was expected, but her belly had been full for at least a full bell by now.

Making sure her mother wasn't looking, the girl picked up a large grape and chucked it towards the boys. Fin caught it and laughed, nudging Kawa to show him who had thrown it. Vanari grinned and waved, much to the annoyance of the girls hovering around her new friend.

[Kawa Snowsong]

Kawa laughed, his nervousness departing for a few seconds of relieve, as he raised a hand in answer. Then, all such good feelings vanished as one of the girls Fin had introduced him to, and who's name he could not remember, reappeared in his field of vision.

"So, how do you know Vanari, Kawa? I didn't know she was friends with any Snowsongs."

The youth shrugged, turning his head slightly so that he wasn't looking right at the woman who had removed even more of his already demolished personal space, and gave a shrug.

"Um... Well, we just met today. She just stumbled onto one of my... er... practice sessions, and asked me to... perform tonight." Kawa answered, suddenly finding it very hard to even breath for some reason, as a thought made itself prevalent in his mind.

'You're going to be playing, in front of all these people...'

Nervously, the boy placed a hand onto his bone flute, which he had concealed under the multicolored coat Fin had given him to wear.

And even as it's familiar shape appeared in his mind, he saw his other possession beside it.

The dagger...

If he could impress these Vantha's, then maybe he really could make a life out of flute playing...

If not...

'Well, stealing is better than starving, right?'

Quickly, he shook that thought out of his head. He couldn't resort to that... Unless it was his last option...

Apparently though, his self-conflict went unnoticed by his closest female companion, as she had started talking about... something, he wasn't able to keep up with her rapidly increasing speech.

Letting out a sigh, Kawa slumped down in his chair, hoping no one was going to lecture him for it.

[Vanari]

I think it's time, she thought wearily to herself. Poor Kawa looks like he's going to melt all the way to the floor from exhaustion.

Struggling to stand without knocking a dozen things over, Vanari carefully pushed back her chair and held up a large, bronze bell. She rung it vigorously and its sonorous voice cut through the clamor like a knife through hot butter.

"Family, friends, if you please," she beseeched. The noise died to a hush, with eager whispers punctuating the silence. Traditionally at this age, an unmarried girl had to make an extravagant recital to impress all who were present at her Birthingday Feast. Like the feast itself, the speech of Womanhood was meant to be an advertisement of sorts to all the young, suitable men, an effort on the girl's part to avoid becoming an Icemaiden.

"Thank you all for coming on the most important day of my life," she began, smiling. "And to my mother, most of all, for pouring so much time and effort into hosting such a grand event. You have my eternal love and gratitude, even if you drive me crazy."

Somewhere in the dim hall, her mother wept noisily with pride.

"I've chosen to keep this news secret until now, as I know how much this will affect many here in this very hall."

A ripple of excitement flowed through the crowd. The girl looked to her parents, who were holding each other happily, to Sania and Tirelin, who appeared very much the same, and finally to Kawa, her newest friend. It was with him she felt most reluctant to share this secret, for they had only just met and she had already grown quite fond of him.

Vanari cleared her throat and continued, "I have lacked nothing during my eighteen years here. In fact, some might even say I have an overabundance of certain qualities." She motioned herself from head to toe, and her audience laughed appreciatively.

"But there comes a time in every child's life when she must realize that her path is her own to pave. When she can no longer clutch at the sleeves of her guardians, sheltered and safe from all the harms of the world. When she knows that she must let go, for there is so much beyond her hold awaiting discovery, and that which has nourished her all her life is no longer enough to sustain her."

She took a deep breathe as she braced herself, her eyes deepening to midnight purple. "To the honorable family of Tirelin Iceglaze, I humbly apologize, for I can and will not marry your son."

People gasped. Many were already halfway up their seats in shock. Most horrified of all, however, was her own sister, who stared up at Vanari in undisguised pain and confusion.

"Vee, what is the meaning of this? Why are you jesting so?" Sania whispered, ready to burst into tears.

Tirelin was holding her close, the look of outrage and disbelief so naked on his face that, for once, Vanari actually felt sorry for him. "Sania I--Nari, it isn't true, is it? Mother, father, why didn't anyone tell me?"

"I told them not to," Vanari gently answered. "I didn't want to spoil everyone's day. Please, believe me when I say this is for the best. I'm leaving tomorrow, and you may marry Tirelin in my stead, Sania, to honor the arrangement our families have made. "

Vanari had expected protests and outright disapproval, but instead her announcement was greeted with stunned silence. Everyone was standing, unsure of what to do, but not wholly opposed either. It was a good sign--perhaps they had all seen it coming. Not wasting any time, she smiled a true smile and presented the last part of her speech.

"I myself found words inept for the occasion, and so I have asked a very special friend of mine to end this speech in my stead, in hopes that you will all remember this night with grace. Tonight, many wrongs will be set to rights, many dreams given the chance to be fulfilled. I only ask that you accept my decision as a woman grown, and to trust I shall find my own way to happiness."

She looked to Kawa, noting how slightly overdressed he was, though it was not at all unflattering. A blush stole across her cheeks and her eyes flickered violet, then back to deep plum. She reminded herself of her departure on the morrow and sadness battled against her composure, but the young Vantha held it at bay.

"Now, if you could all take your seats please, as the show is about to start!" she announced happily. "Kawa, my friend, would you do us the great honor of performing a song?"

[Kawa Snowsong]

Kawa nodded as he stood from his seat, taking the flute that his father had given him out from under the coat he wore. Although it seemed inappropriate after that announcement his friend had made, the youth couldn't help the hint of a smile that curled his mouth at the corner. Vanari's words had brought to mind the perfect song for Kawa to play.

Letting out a nervous sigh, the Vantha turned his eyes toward the girl who stood at the center of the room's attention. The song had no written music, and it came out different every time Kawa played it, but the lyrics in his mind were always the same.

He hoped that would be enough to get the song's point across.

"I would be honored to, Miss Vanari."

With that, Kawa bowed, and brought the flute to his lips...

They say the path you take is wrong, as you go where no one can guide you along. They say the this road won't take you so far, and that you'll simply come back with a long painful scar. Down that road, they say, there is nothing to be found, and from that direction comes barely a sound. They say that the road that you chose, were it leads, well, no body knows. "We know that way!" All the people will say, "You can only be safe if from our path you don't stray!" "Down your road," They say, "Is only pain and despair, with villains who travelers they seek to ensnare."

Yet, how do they know? For the road is untraveled. It's mysteries are yet to have been unraveled. And the reason that none have tried to go through, is this road has been waiting... Waiting for you...

I cannot tell you where this path shall lead, but to my words, please take head. On this road, there may be dangers, you might battle monsters, or befriend strangers. And though this road might not take you far, if on it you never travel, then you will never gain a scar.

Slowly, Kawa lowered his flute, not daring to open his eyes as the last of his notes faded from the Hold. He felt afraid, deathly afraid, but at the same time...

He felt proud.