Timestamp :: 5th of Summer, 513 AV
There is a reason Lorelle has never enjoyed the thought of having a job. It doesn't have to do with her feeling as though she can't preform what she is expected to do or that she will mess up. No, it isn't that. She can always work and improve and fix things like that. It is being watched. Feeling eyes surrounding her even if they aren't even focused on her. Just knowing there is someone else in the room who knows what they are doing more than she does make Lorelle nervous. Her mind is thrown into a whirlwind of thoughts as knots are created in her stomach. She begins second guessing herself, wondering if she is doing something wrong. The thing is, she knows that most of the time whoever is making her nervous probably isn't even thinking about her anyway. She remembers her mother telling her once when she confessed this fear to the woman years ago that more likely than not, people are more focused on themselves to have any time to think about Lorelle. Lorelle has always taken her mother's words and told herself that they are true but she can never shake the feeling of being watched.
She is having that feeling right now as she slowly finds the places for the books in her hands on the shelves. So far today there has been ten books returned and Lorelle is taking care of putting them all away. She is still fairly new and shaky with her job at the library. She does like the job. It is quiet for the most part and the others who work here are so focused on what they are doing that Lorelle is mostly left alone to do her work. Still, she never can shake that feeling of being watched. Especially when Jack is around. While the Skyglow has never really done anything to make her nervous about him, actually he has been quiet quiet and focused on his own work. He only focuses on her as far as she knows when she asks him a question like she was directed to do by Felix when she was first hired. He still makes her nervous though. Maybe it is his seniority at the library he has over her or just the fact that he is sort of like the person she reports to. She fears making a mistake and having Jack see it and tell Felix, getting her fired. She fears the unknown really. That is probably why she has never been all that adventurous, she is scared of what will happen when all the variables have been played.
Lorelle sighs, forcing herself to focus on her work. She turns to the next book in her arms. It is a storybook. Interesting, she hasn't seen to many of those. She sighs and moves towards the myth section of the library. She uses her finger to mark where she is on the shelf in trying to find the books place among the other books. She moves down till she finds the correct shelf and slides the book into place. She stands up from her crouched position and sees that she has only one book left. This one is on cooking. That makes Lorelle almost laugh to herself. The book is on something she very much cannot do. Something she should really work on. She looks down at the book. "Maybe I should take a peek..." she muses mentally, lifting the cover slightly before hastily closing it, "No, no, focus on what you have to do. Read on your own time." She mentally speaks to herself rather sternly before moving to the cooking section of the library. She is faster this time as the title starts with the letter "A" so it is on the top shelf. It is a little bit of a stretch to reach but after shuffling some stuff around and standing on her toes she reaches just enough to slide the book into its place.
After the last book is in its place, Lorelle moves to the desk at the front of the desk. She takes a seat in the chair there and looks around the library. There are about four people that she can see in the library. They are all sitting, quietly reading. Quiet, peace. Lorelle sighs happily before flipping open the ledger on the desk. She looks through it and makes sure that she marked correctly the books that were checked back in so far today. She sees that she has done it all right. Nodding her head contently, she is about to close the book and look around to see what else there is to do when she hears a voice in front of her. She looks up and sees one of the four people that have been in the library.
"Yes? How may I help you?" Lorelle asks the man who stands before her.
"Um yes, I would like to check this book out," the man tells her as he puts the book on the table.
Lorelle nods, looking at the book a minute to gather the title. She opens the ledger to the next free spot and starts marking down the information. The book is on the history of Avanthal and is titled "Story of the Snowy City". Lorelle marks this information before looking at the book to figure out what the due date should be. It takes her a moment. She has some trouble remembering how to tell. She feels like she is taking to long and her nerves set in when she starts wondering what the man must be thinking of her performance. The nerves don't help her move any faster, she is determine to figure out the due date though and refuses to go and ask Jack or Felix to help. After about two chimes she figures it out and marks it down. Looking to the man she gives him her most convincing smile as she hands him back the book.
"There you go, due in twenty-one days," she tells him, "Enjoy."
The man just takes the book and nods before leaving. Lorelle sighs, falling back in her seat. She feels like the words she chose sounded stupid and feels annoyed with herself. She knows she will try to get rid of the embarrassment she feels right now but it won't go away as she has this thing about always remembering the worst moments of her life. She tries not to groan as she rolls her neck and let's her eyes fall to the floor. She isn't looking at the floor for long when she hears footsteps on the floor. She looks up and sees Jack moving towards her. That is enough to make her push past her current trail of thought and make her sit up and look at him. When he reaches the desk, she is afraid he is going to tell her she did something wrong, but he just puts a book down on the desk.
"This needs to be put back in it's place," he tells her before watching her nod in reply and then turning and going back to one of the other rooms of the small library.
Lorelle releases the breath she didn't realize she had been holding till Jack has moved into second room in the library. She stares at the door a chime, thinking he might come back and scold her like a little child before she finally gets up and takes the book he put on her desk in her hands and starts looking for it's place on the shelves. As she looks for its spot, she mentally scolds herself for being so jumpy and nervous that everything she does is wrong. She really needs to get some confidence, something she doesn't have in situations like this. She needs to get over this. Badly. And the sad thing is, she knows it.
