Flashback I'll give you my life!

[Eida]

(Memory Snatch From Eida: I had a child inside of me.)
AV 497, Summer 87

The harvest was long over. Everything was normal in Kalinor. Even Naisa could see a woman who had to carry out a symenestra child. But she didn't care about her, she had her own child inside of her for three seasons now. Her belly was big and she felt the baby will come anytime. She felt the contractions.

She was already lying on her bed at the Place of Purging. She was just staring in front of her. She was wondering if her baby will be a boy or a girl. She was a bit sad that she couldn't be out under Leth's light. The Moon always calmed her down. And she also wondered if she will... she had a guest. She stopped thinking and looked at the man who was standing next to her bed.

It was the father, Deso. He was really tall and thin. His eyes were gold and he had black hair. He kneeled down to her. Naisa wanted to sit up but he stopped her from that."No, you have to rest. It's nearly time." She remained there. He was right, the time was nearly there and she had to be strong. "I know. And I know our child is strong. I feel it." Deso was still smiling but it wasn't bright that moment. He laid his hand on Naisa's swollen belly. "I hope not now. Our baby can be strong later. You are the one who needs to be strong."

[Eida]

"Just at least if I could see Leth now.." Naisa sighed and Deso did as well. He was also shaking his head. "Don't be silly. Going out would be dangerous for you and our child." She looked a little bit sad, because he was right. She was only lying on the bed and waiting for the moment."I know but he is always there at nights when I need him. His appearance always calms me. " There was silence after that. Only waiting and silence. She didn't like it. It was like waiting for death.

Naisa felt like Tanroa had slowed time, for it was as if every moment had become an eternity. She closed her eyes and hold Deso's hand. She remembered the day when she found out she had a child inside of her. The thought of the chance she will die didn't pop up there. Only that she was happy for it. Even she told the story for Leth, who was up at the sky and Naisa thought he is a good listenner. But as time went on, she couldn't NOT think about it. What if this is her last moment?

She openned her eyes. Her mate was still there and she was still holding his hand. A tear came out from her eye. Then another and nother. She started to cry. "I'm.. I'm proud to have a child for our race. But I'm scared Deso. " He looked at her with a serious face. She could see that he was nervous also but he tried to hide it. "Naisa! Even Nessora is alive you know it well! Why would you be scared?" Empty words, thought Naisa. "Don't joke with me. She is STRONG, afterall she is a ruler." She said and she felt more pain inside of her now.

[Eida]

"What do you think? Our child will be a boy or a girl?" Asked Naisa to talk about something, and forget the though of death. Deso was hesitating for a moment. Then he smiled at her. "A boy." Naisa for the first time smiled back. Somehow she wanted a boy also. She liked them very much. And hours has passed there.

Deso was still with her. It was about time now. The contractions were getting stronger. Naisa's heartbeat was getting faster also. She didn't worry about herself now but about the baby somehow. She tried to calm down and took deep breaths. In and out, in and out. It wasn't much help. She needed a doctor now, there was no time to waste.

"Please get someone! I think it's time." Said Naisa with worrying face and Deso stood up. He ran quickly for someone. She was alone for that moment. She hold her belly and was thinking what's going to happen now with her. Will she survive or she will die? The thought of death was scary but in a strange way she was curious what's going to happen after it.

[Poison]

Fortunately it didn’t take long for Deso to find a doctor. Svorador Hellebore, the head medic of the Purging, had just come from another patient and was washing his hands in a basin of water as the Symenestra man hurried towards him. With him was Adelia. The Konti had come to Kalinor a few decades earlier, years before Hellebore had been born, compelled by her gift that made her sense people’s deepest, most desperate need.

Svorador Hellebore was a stern man, and his bedside manner was lacking, but he was a competent doctor, and in the end that counted the most. He didn’t waste any time. As he saw Deso, he quickly dried his hands off with a towel and handed it to the Konti. „Is the baby about to come?“ he asked Deso. „Let’s go. Adelia, you’ll follow me with my supplies.“ The Konti nodded, and then Svorador was already hurrying towards Naisa’s room.

„When did the contractions start?“ he asked as he looked at her. Just a moment later Adelia arrived. She was quite unlike the Symenestra man, kind and gentle, maybe a bit too gentle and sympathetic. As she saw Naisa, she supressed a shudder, but then she quickly arranged the things Doctor Hellebore would need on a small table, and then she stepped back so that he could do his work.

[Eida]

Thinking about Leth's sister made her more and more uneasy. While she was waiting she tried to imagine the Moon. Even thought she wasn't out there she tried to imagine how the Moon's light shining upon her. Leth who listened every of her thought, at least she liked to believe in that. He didn't go away and he didn't really answer but she didn't mind. At nights she could be sure that he will be there at the sky.

Deso arrived back quickly with Svorador. He also brought a konti with him. She heard about her but didn't really meet with her. She looked a bit uncomfortable but it didn't matter for her now. She looked at the doctor. "This morning... It's stronger and stronger now. Ugh..." Another big one. She spread her legs.

"Honestly Doctor... Will I survive this?" She asked. Deso was really nervous he raised his voice. "Stop this non-sense already! " But she didn't care about his answer, he was starring at Svorador. She knew what could happen now, but she will do it, she had to do it. For Leth she even promised she won't give up.

[Poison]

Svorador Hellebore did not lie to make Naisa’s last bells a little easier to bear and to give her hope. As far as he was concerned, lying did more harm than good. He was a honest man, so honest that it hurt sometimes. As she asked him if she would survive, he coolly replied, „There is about a five percent chance that you will survive the birth. I would not count on being one of those lucky five percent though. Most women die.“

„Nessora Hyacinth, the female half of the ruling couple survived the birth of her daughter“, Adelia told Naisa to give her a little hope and cast a disapproving glance at the doctor. „If worse comes to worst, we can give you some medicine so that you won’t feel the pain and will be able to enjoy a few moments with your newborn child.“

Hellebore ignored the Konti’s words and began to examine Naisa. „You are almost fully dilated“, he informed her. „It shouldn’t be too long. The child’s position is perfect. It is unlikely that there will be complications.“ He turned to Adelia again. „I need hot water and a few clean handkerchiefs“, he informed her. „Quickly!“

Once the Konti had left to do as she had been told, he adressed Naisa once more, „Do you need something for the pain?“

[Eida]

So she was right after all. Svorador's cold words were echoing in her head. But she felt she had to know the truth. She always knew but she had to heard it again. It was bad the Moon wasn't there but she closed her eyes and tried to imagine as he was looking down at her. She had a warm smile on her face when the Konti was also speaking to her.

She looked up at her. She didn't know her much. She was pale too like their race. She reminded her about Nessora which she knew already but that didn't change the fact: Nessora is a RULER, a strong woman. She was only a dancer. But when Adelia said that she could see her child made her happy. She was ready for it now, she had to be ready as everything was going so fast then.

Almost dilated, the time has come. When the doctor asked about the medicine she nodded. "Yes! I'm going to give that child my life if I have to, just let me see my baby once before Dira takes me away." She had more confidence then. She was ready to meet with Death, herself. Deso was still nervous but he was just standing and watching, he couldn't think anything to do. He looked with a serious face.

The birth started. She was ready to feel when the bite comes which will lead her to Dira. But it was worth it, for her child it was worth it.

[Poison]

Only a few chimes passed before Adelia returned. She was carrying a big pot of hot water and a few pieces of soft, white cloth. She placed both next to the bed where Naisa was lying, and then she turned to Svorador, waiting for his next orders. The doctor just waved his hand, a sign that she didn’t need to do anything but watch for the time being.

He looked through the things Adelia had already placed on the table next to Naisa’s bed when they had first arrived, furrowed his brow and finally took a small, white bottle, uncorked it and poured a bit of the liquid into a bowl. As he did so, a most unpleasant smell filled Naisa’s nose.

Svorador cared little about what his medicine smelled or tasted like, all that mattered to him was that it helped.

„This will take the pain away“, he said to Naisa. He put his right hand behind her back to help her up.With his left hand he guided the bowl to her mouth. „Drink“, he ordered her. „Drink it all, or it won’t help.“ If Naisa complied, she would find out that Doctor Hellebore’s medicine tasted even worse than it smelled. She would struggle to swallow it all, but after a few chimes the pain would be reduced to a dull, bearable ache in her belly.

„You should sit down“, Adelia told Deso who had been standing next to his mate’s bed all the time. „You look tired. The baby will need you when it’s been born. There is nothing you can do now.“

[Eida]

She looked at what Adelia brought. When Svorador poured the medicine Naisa thought she is going to faint because of the smell. She hoped it's not for drinking but it was not her luck. Svora gave the bowl to her and the smell was worse than ever. Now her stomach... she was about to throw it away.

She was slowly close to her mouth. She tasted a little. She couldn't turn away now. There was no time to play. She started to drink. When she firstly swallowed, she was about to spit it back, but she was just swallowing and swallowing all of it, when she ended, she took the bowl back to the table repidly.

"Just... don't feed my baby with it! I taste better than that." She tried a little joking, which wasn't funny at all. She lied back and the birth began. Only chimes were seperating her from her baby.

Deso remained silent. He wanted to say good bye or I love you to Naisa but he was sure she can do it. He just turned around and went to a place to wait and let them work. He was sure, he can see Naisa and the baby together.

[Poison]

„This is a pain reliever“, Hellebore replied coolly and looked at Naisa as if she had just said something impossibly stupid.

„Why would I feed the baby with it? It will not be in any pain if all goes as it should. It won’t eat you either. It will poison you, but it is not a cannibal as you should know. Or do you have cannibalistic tendencies that I’m not aware of that you could pass on to your child?“

Adelia shook her head as she heard this. In her opinion Hellebore ought to be a little more sympathetic to the dying woman. „He’s rude“, she whispered. „But he’s the best doctor that we have. If anybody can give you a few chimes or bells with your child, it’s him. He was there when the ruling couple’s daughter was born as well.“

The contractions were coming rapidly now and would make it hard for Naisa to talk a lot or even concentrate on anything but the child in her belly. And then, finally, see could feel something …

„I can see the head now“, Hellebore informed her. „Push as hard as you can now …“

„It’s almost over“, Adelia informed Deso and put a hand on his shoulder. „In a few chimes you will be able to hold your baby in your arms.“