Orion wouldn’t answer her. She could give the most uplifting, moving speech ever uttered in the history of history, and he wouldn’t look at her. She could have stripped down naked and offered herself to him, and he wouldn’t have dared a glance. All that he could see, all that he could feel was the weapon in her grasp. An extension of his will, the power behind his words. Her fighting him had spoken a library more than a word she uttered.
Her words, however, did not fall on the unhearing.
Orion knew she had gone through her own struggles, guarded as she may have been about them. He knew she’d gone through worse things than he had faced, or at least he thought he was sure. There was one thing that would hold true for them both, though. Many of their problems only existed because of their own choices. Their own action or inaction. If she’d never left, everything would be so different. If he could keep it in his pants, he’d have two less issues. If he’d never joined the knights, he’d never have seen any of the foul creatures he’d faced. If she’d remained, she’d likely have not faced the terrors she had.
But they weren’t all the same. They weren’t going though it the same. He’d gone to Sunberth to see family after his life fell apart the first time. He’d always tried to run to someone, never away, but every time, it got harder. Every time, he felt a little bit colder, a little bit less caring. A little less connected.
A little less human.
To hear her speak like that, he didn’t know what to do. She was just as responsible for his issues as anyone else. She could lift him up, she was always proud and always willing to do so, but he was more sure every time it happened that she didn’t realize her own part in knocking him down.
Orion knew he would be fine, no, perhaps fine wasn’t the word he would have chosen. He would live. He would fight always to live. He would succeed as a knight. He would uphold the beliefs of Sylir and he would wade into battle beside those who took up sword and shield in defense of Syliras. But how could he trust anyone on a personal note? What would have to happen in a man’s life when he could trust a stranger with his life, but not with the questions of his heart and mind.
What had happened in a man’s life when he couldn’t trust those he loved?
Orion turned away from Fallon, walking back over to the training dummy. There were so many questions on his mind yet. Not the least of was the secret she had shown him. A choke and a gentle caress without ever raising her hand? Everyone had their secrets, and he wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to trust others with them.
Without a word, he raised his blade to resume his training. His fury was gone, but his struggle was just beginning.
Her words, however, did not fall on the unhearing.
Orion knew she had gone through her own struggles, guarded as she may have been about them. He knew she’d gone through worse things than he had faced, or at least he thought he was sure. There was one thing that would hold true for them both, though. Many of their problems only existed because of their own choices. Their own action or inaction. If she’d never left, everything would be so different. If he could keep it in his pants, he’d have two less issues. If he’d never joined the knights, he’d never have seen any of the foul creatures he’d faced. If she’d remained, she’d likely have not faced the terrors she had.
But they weren’t all the same. They weren’t going though it the same. He’d gone to Sunberth to see family after his life fell apart the first time. He’d always tried to run to someone, never away, but every time, it got harder. Every time, he felt a little bit colder, a little bit less caring. A little less connected.
A little less human.
To hear her speak like that, he didn’t know what to do. She was just as responsible for his issues as anyone else. She could lift him up, she was always proud and always willing to do so, but he was more sure every time it happened that she didn’t realize her own part in knocking him down.
Orion knew he would be fine, no, perhaps fine wasn’t the word he would have chosen. He would live. He would fight always to live. He would succeed as a knight. He would uphold the beliefs of Sylir and he would wade into battle beside those who took up sword and shield in defense of Syliras. But how could he trust anyone on a personal note? What would have to happen in a man’s life when he could trust a stranger with his life, but not with the questions of his heart and mind.
What had happened in a man’s life when he couldn’t trust those he loved?
Orion turned away from Fallon, walking back over to the training dummy. There were so many questions on his mind yet. Not the least of was the secret she had shown him. A choke and a gentle caress without ever raising her hand? Everyone had their secrets, and he wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to trust others with them.
Without a word, he raised his blade to resume his training. His fury was gone, but his struggle was just beginning.
