Completed [Sultros Blades] Shortcomings (Hadyn)

[Orion Michaels]

36th Day of Fall, 513 AV
Sultros Blades
21st Bell

He was going to be sick, that was the short of it. Just absolutely sick. It was like he'd been caught breaking the rules and his mom had slapped his hands and sent him to apologize, but if that were seen as the reason he was here, it would ruin everything. It wasn't even true, after all. He'd actually had some light shone on his faults and follies, and a particularly vicious whooping at the hands of his patron had brought that light to him.

It took two to tango, but Orion had taken the cake. Both of them were idiots, both of them were unsuited for parenthood, and to this point they'd not managed to have a conversation that wasn't emotionally charged. At least not since the rather pleasant night they met, the night which started all of this mess.

Orion rubbed his cheek where the first of many 'lessons' had arrived from Dinah, still slightly bruised. Wooden weapons could pack a wallop, that was a lesson she made sure he learned, but he'd gotten more than that, and he needed to talk to Hadyn as a result. Even if everything was ruined, even if she didn't want him around to see the child, he had to try and talk.

Maybe more important, he had to keep his emotions in check. Everything would go fine as long as he kept himself in check. As though that was something he was good at.

The real obstacle to their encounter was him getting the courage to step in and face her. He'd been so mad that evening, acting like everything that had happened was so unfair. Even if it was, he wasn't the one lugging around their baby, and he wasn't the only one suffering.

Still, that door seemed so far away. He'd never been so nervous about meeting a woman before, but most women weren't Hadyn Skellig. Plus, she would be in a building full of hammers, chains, weapons, and really high temperatures. While sometimes that could spell a good time, he was worried about permanent injury if he caught her in the wrong mood.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, Orion took a deep breath, put his hand on the door handle, and then stopped.

He wasn't going in there. He couldn't go in there. He was absolutely out of his mind. He should just go back to the dorms, lie to Dinah if she asked, and call it good. No more worries, no more anger. Just move on with his life.

What lesson would he learn from that?

Sighing, Orion turned the handle and stepped inside of the somewhat familiar location. If anyone was working this late, he figured it would be Hadyn. It wouldn't be the first time they'd met at this hour.

"..Hello?" His mouth was dry already. This wasn't going to go well.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The whet stone pushed with agonizing lethargy across the iron, each pass rendering the blade sharper and deadlier. The heat of the furnace warmed her back as she stood straight, lower back over arched to accommodate the swell beneath her apron. Despite the uncomfortable ground beneath her feet and the loneliness of the smithy Hadyn rather liked working at night. It was enough to walk down the street with her burden, having folk reach out and touch her belly as if it were on display. But Sultros Blades was worse. When her coworkers weren't doubting her capabilities in the shop they were fussing over stupid things that made the woman feel so fragile it inspired the worst ire out of her. No. Working at night was best for everyone.

She'd become horridly drawn in, only the vaguest sense of her emotions shared with Shiress. Even then she held back. It wasn't worth it. To lay herself out in such a physically vulnerable state - to be emotionally vulnerable would be the death of her. Although she'd confided in her friend and received more support than she knew what to do with from the girl there was no way to tell her everything. Hadyn simply wasn't able to. She was emotionally stunted, stuck working through her troubles in her head for fear of... what?

So she worked. The days had stretched on and the nights were longer still. But she'd rather rot before she looked to him for help. For anything. Hadyn buried all memory of their childish interaction at the Casket for fear of becoming further enraged. He hadn't sought her out and she'd settled on being alone. From him at least.

Pulling another long draw of stone across metal the woman used her shoulder to brush a damp strand of hair from her face. It was becoming taxing to do even the simplest of tasks. It'd been many long days since she'd actually forged a proper weapon - mostly spending her time perfecting others' work and performing menial tasks. Anything to keep her hands busy.

Not much attention was given to her growing belly. Hunger was constant and exhaustion was always close at hand. While obnoxious the boys in the shop had been excessively kind, providing her with extra stools in the smithy and making sure there was food around. None of them were keen on her working late bells alone but there was no point in arguing. It was the one thing in her life she could control and she'd do it until she died. Luckily Shiress was keeping such a strict eye on her that she wasn't allowed to work herself to death.

She paused, the baby within her kicking against her abdomen. Hadyn couldn't place her feelings on the actual child yet. Of course she felt a strong maternal bond. But she'd grown up with a father and a mother. Yet here she was doing this without a man. Without the man who should be there. The brunette hesitated in her work to breathe, patiently awaiting a pang of dizziness to subside before she resumed her task.

It was in that brief moment she heard the croak of someone issuing a hesitant greeting. Setting the stone down the woman lifted the sword, turning with it in one hand to find the individual. She didn't like the idea of anyone calling so late and she would surely not go down without a fight. But when she faced the figure the color drained from her face, the whites of her knuckles visible as she gripped the hilt of the short sword. It took her a moment to find her voice, the very father of their child lingering in the doorway while she, pregnant enough to burst, stood brandishing a blade. Ever the happy family.

"You've got some balls on you, Michaels."

[Orion Michaels]

The scraping of the whetstone was a disturbingly threatening welcome to the smithy. He'd half expected an unfinished blade to soar through the air and end him the moment he'd entered, but instead there was the sound of someone hard at work. He'd expected no one else but Hadyn, and she'd prove him right in this case.

The short sword in her hand as she appeared only intensified the worry of his demise.

Orion was silent as she came into view, staring at her despite all efforts to avoid it. It was amazing what a few weeks could do, coupled with no really attempt to hide it. There she stood, in all her pregnant glory, looking as though she'd seen the ghost of some one long lost. Silence hung over the air for a moment as Orion struggled for the words.

Hadyn broke the silence with words more mild than he'd anticipated, but it left him speechless none the less.

He'd come in with the plan to actually try and talk proper. He'd come in to try and maybe sort of kind of make things right. Or at least make them better, but for as intelligent and well spoken as Orion could be, everything about this made him feel, act, and just completely be, in a word, dumb. All of his planning went out the window, everything that he wanted to say crumbled to dust in front of the mother of his unborn child. Panic gripped at his heart. He could just turn around and leave, right?

Only the ambient sounds of the Sultros Blades blades accompanied their performance of awkwardness. Orion stared at the ground, screaming internally at himself to just say something, anything, but he felt paralyzed. Why did it have to be so difficult to just say what was on his mind? To say what he'd been thinking about since that night, since he got his ass kicked by Dinah, and since he was pacing right outside her work place? Why did he make everything so gods forsaking difficult?

He took a deep breath to try and compose himself, licking his lips, doing anything he could think of to try and will himself to break down whatever barrier this was.

"Hadyn," he finally managed, his gaze never breaking from her. None of the words that raced though his mind seemed to be anything that would do anything to resolve the situation. He'd just upset her, he'd just drive the wedge further between them, as he always did. How could he show her that he'd, at least in some minuscule way, realized how wrong he was?

"I'm sure...I'm sure that I'm the last person you wanted to see tonight. I just..I just.." He paused again, scrambling to try and find the words. Uncertainty was painted on his face and his tone submerged in uneasiness. "...What can I say that won't set you upon me with that blade?" With a nervous smile, Orion stepped into her workplace fully. He kept his eyes on her and the weapon in her grasp. He'd come dressed plainly and unarmed. He wanted to talk, but the struggle was in fulfilling that wish.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The woman stared at him, sharply aware of his movements, his manner and his words. The initial shock of seeing him in her smithy wore off when it became evident how uncomfortable he was. Instead Hadyn found herself observing him with carefully guarded interest. He wasn't to be trusted.

Orion's stammering through an explanation only served to bemuse her further, a dark eyebrow raising suspiciously over wary brown eyes. This wasn't like him. Wasn't he either hot or cold? Charmingly witty or savagely callous. This distressed apprehensive Orion was foreign to her. As much as she wanted to enjoy his discomfort she was increasingly skeptical of his intentions.

He was right about one thing. He was absolutely the last person she wanted to see. She wanted him to finish his sentence and explain himself but he was clearly too distracted by the sword in her hand. She couldn't blame him. The thought of striking him across his handsome face had crossed her mind at least three times since he'd entered the smithy. Pressing her lips together the brunette turned and set the weapon down carefully on the table. Having finally averted her eyes from the bastard Hadyn stared at the table for a long moment, pondering her next move.

Throw him out?

Let him speak his piece?

With a sigh of regret the woman faced him once more. She almost wanted to stir the anger she'd felt toward him. If he gave her even the slightest reason she would tear into him viciously and without remorse. But she couldn't access those wonderfully intense emotions of rage and frustration. Instead she felt void. Moistening her lips she stared at him, expression barely civil.

He'd hurt her. Hadyn would never concede to him or anyone else that it was so. But she'd come to realize it several days after their last encounter. After all the stonewalling she did and all the men whose intentions she'd destroyed with her steadfast belief in no commitment no pain - Orion was the one to hurt her. The man who shared her values and was just as petched up as she. When he left that night, actions and words lingering with her he'd reopened a scar and by all the gods on Mizahar she hated him for it.

"What do you want?" Brown eyes watched him, feral in their attention to the slightest detail. Her voice was dry, tone absolute. She wouldn't tolerate jokes or attempts at being coy. He'd better say what he wanted or get out. The woman crossed her arms over her chest. Protectively. Though curious as to his unannounced appearance she wasn't in the mood to deal with his dramatics.

[Orion Michaels]

Well, she wasn't joking, but for now he'd keep his life, it seemed. He was confident that he could have retreated from her with ease, if it had come to it. Gods be good it wouldn't.

Dinah was right about how things would between the squire and the smithy. She'd yelled at him so much, informed him how he'd harmed their child more with his 'stupid dumbassary' than he'd realized. He'd resisted of course, thinking Dinah didn't know a thing about him or what he was going through. She'd nailed it though. The emptiness on Hadyn's face, the way she stared him down, studying his every movement, looking as though his very presence here was some sort of cosmic joke. The barely controlled fury which flowed just beneath her skin pulsed as she stared the squire down.

And then she spoke. Precise. She wasn't going to mess around anymore. She'd given him every chance and he'd shattered any hope they held. Orion watched her nervously as she said her part, demanding an answer for why he was here. Couldn't she tell that he was stumbling over himself trying to explain it?

"Hadyn. I.."

Just say it, Orion. He'd been told again and again that he needed get out of his own way, stop ruining anything that he could get his hands on. It had been easier said than done, a work in progress no doubt.

"I really petched things up." He felt like throwing up. An admission of fault, an admission of guilt, all to the woman he'd left in a heap over near the docks. All to the woman who'd cornered him and caused him to bare his fangs in retaliation. Every bit of this had forced him to examine himself, who he was, how he dealt with people. Whether it had accomplished anything was another thing all together. "I shouldn't have left things...it shouldn't have gone the way the way it had, okay?" His eyes darted all over at this point, unable to focus on anyone or anything. It was an absolute mess. But as usual, once Orion got to talking, it was hard to stop.

"So go ahead and hate me. Despise me. Wish the worst on me. Maybe I deserve it. I'll make it somehow. I just..I just had to let you know that I'm sorry." There it was. Orion's apology. His face had gone flush as he spoke, the embarrassment and shame washing over him in ceaseless waves. "I'm not expecting your forgiveness. I'm..I'm just trying to do right. Emily and that youngin' will be counting on me to do so..." Orion braced himself for the incoming onslaught. He was sure she'd rip him to shreds for the things he'd said. She wouldn't believe any of it. She'd wonder why he couldn't say anything remotely controlled the last time they met. The combination of a lesson hard learned and time to prepare and gather his thoughts had given him something to work with, amazingly enough.

[Hadyn Skellig]

What the petch was he doing? More fumbling over his words. Couldn't he just leave her alone? Why throw salt in the wound? He was the one who wanted to be free of her. Without burden or responsibility. Yet here he was all contrite and acting as if he had something rough to tell her. She observed him like an animal, head tilted slightly as she waited. She could see how he struggled but she couldn't find it in her to care.

When he admitted he petched up the woman made no movement. She wasn't quite willing to give him a pat on the back for it. The words flowed forth like a runoff under the spring sun, gurgling and surging forward with no intention of slowing or ceasing. Hadyn listened, giving him enough respect not to toss him out on his ass. She had asked after all.

A frown pulled the corners of her lips down when he entreated her to despise him. She didn't need his permission. But it was the apology that stuck to her. It was raw and unfiltered by all the masks Orion Michaels was known to wear. It almost stunned her. When he fell silent, wallowing in uncertainty and expectations of her reaction the weaponsmith moved.

She crossed the space toward him, expression empty. It wasn't until she was close enough to see the tension in his muscles - preparation for yelling and screaming he expected of her. She didn't give him a moment to process her nearness. Her hand rose to meet his cheek. Hadyn couldn't give two shykes whether it actually landed. No sooner had her hit concluded than she was throwing both arms around him. It was instinctual. She had no control over herself. If he rebuffed her she would order him to leave. But finally hearing something real - something human from him was more than she could suffer at such a distance. His body was warm and the urge to press her face to his shirt and hold him was overwhelming. But as a moment was nearly passed the brunette regained proper consciousness - horrified by her reaction. She tensed as if suddenly awake and moved to pull away from him.

[Orion Michaels]

Orion tensed as she approached, more thankful now than ever that the blade sat on the counter, well out of her reach. She must have been getting closer to make sure he could hear every single word she had to tell him. Of course, that wasn't it at all. She wasn't there to say anything. Something he'd expected to receive much sooner in their relationship was on its way. Since it had taken so long to come, he couldn't even react when he saw her arm start to move, fingers moving flush with one another to create the perfect surface to deliver a slap, which she did quite well.

What came next was the surprise.

She embraced him. It seemed to shock them both. He couldn't do anything as she stood there, her arms wrapped around him and her face buried in his chest. The sting on his face faded quickly, but still he was stunned. Nothing could have prepared him for this. She was as up and down as he was. Dinah didn't tell him anything about a hug if he made things right.

In an instant it was over and she recoiled from him before he'd been able to move an inch. He gave her a half smile, trying to disarm the tense situation. It wasn't the time for jokes, it wasn't the time to snap, he had to keep under control. He'd been coached on what to do, on everything but that. "Hadyn...I'm terrified. I know..I know everyone has their problems, but I've just been overwhelmed, and I didn't..I didn't deal with it well. Understatement, I know, I know."

It was a vulnerable moment for them both, and it was more than uncomfortable for them as well. He wished it could all be done over again. Would he undo absolutely everything? He didn't really know, but he couldn't, no, wouldn't leave her to do it alone. "We'll figure out how to do this. I don't know how. I don't have any plan at all. Emily refers to me as 'petch face', so I've not quite solved the mystery of children." Orion opened the distance between them, walking over to the counter and leaning on it with his hands. "I guess that's what I came here to say. I'm sure it was unexpected...all of this. Can't say I'm any less surprised."

[Hadyn Skellig]

Once she extricated herself from his body the brunette took a breath. How humiliating. She awaited his chastisement and cruel reproach for her mortifying action. The glare in his gaze before he stormed out. But instead he smiled. The petch? Puzzlement wrote itself clearly across her tired face as Orion seemed not only to accept her behavior but comprehend it. While he spoke the woman wanted to interject but bit her tongue. Let him have it out.

When Orion increased the space between them the better part of Hadyn was relieved. No more impetuous embraces or slaps. But there was a part she was embarrassed to feel tug at her mind, imploring her to be near him. She scoffed inwardly at the thought of needing Orion's closeness to feel better but that tiny voice did not relent. Instead, she too retreated a few steps away. Resting a hand on her pregnant abdomen, the brunette eased herself onto a stool as gracefully as possible.

"Petch face, hm?" she commented, returning his earlier smile though it was somewhat strained. "Smart girl." Taking a breath to situate herself despite feeling horribly exposed in the squire's presence the weaponsmith slipped easily into her defiant nature, a glint in her eye all but challenging to remark on her state. No. She took another breath. Those attitudes between them are what started this mess. Hadyn resolved herself not to act that way for the time being.

"As surprised as I am to see you, I really... well I appreciate y'comin' over." Now it was her turn to stammer and look foolish. Running an anxious hand through the undone locks of hair the woman steeled herself to look directly at him. "You don't need to have a plan. And I should've never demanded one of you. It was... it was wrong. I was wrong and unkind. 'Specially after I promised to do my best to help you." She flashed a small grin, a blush spreading up her neck. "I don't know how to make you feel less terrified. Less overwhelmed."

Hadyn paused, staring at her belly. Of all the men she'd been with. Of all the times she'd been reckless, stupid and drunk. She ended up with his baby. This man who could barely find the words to apologize to a woman who didn't know how to accept it properly. But his presence here gave her hope - though it scared her. She was still furious with his behavior but she could at least forgive him. For the child's sake.

"Do you..." petch it all. She really didn't want to do this. Chewing on her bottom lip the brunette moved her eyes from Orion before speaking again. "Would you, if you have a moment. Y'don't have to, course. I just... perhaps now would be a good time to... talk?"

Gods that was almost harder than telling him she was pregnant to begin with. She followed up quickly before he could rush out the door.

"We fly in an' out of each others' lives recently. Perhaps instead of fleein' from each other we should... could sit for a while. I barely sleep as it is so I've plans to be here well into the night. But if you need to go, I understand."

Excellent Haddie. Way to sound like dipshyke halfwit in front of the father of your child. That'll impress him.

Lacing her fingers together beneath her stomach the woman swept her brown eyes around the forge before settling on Orion again. Couldn't they ever just be frank and clear with each other? Would it always be like this? What sort of child were they going to raise at this rate?

[Orion Michaels]

Orion could only offer up a smile at her assessment of Emily's name for him. Seemed that Hadyn, Emily, and Emily's mother had the same view of Orion. Less than pleasant and full of swears. He couldn't deny that he deserved a good amount of it, so there ware no complaints from him, instead a quiet acceptance.

He found her strangely vibrant, all things considered. She challenged him without words, as they'd done to each other since the moment they'd met. It was a natural part of who they were, it seemed. Still, there was an almost beauty about the way she looked, though Orion wouldn't dare utter that thought aloud. He couldn't be sure if she'd slap him a million times or jump him right where he stood. He'd seen pregnant women before, sure, but none of them were carrying his child. Despite the way he'd acted, despite all the things he'd said and done, it was still a very personal an intimate thing for him to be her with her in this exposed state. Her words only made it more so, though it also triggered his flighty desires. He would have to work hard to suppress them.

He ran his fingers across the counter top, stopping on a knot to trace around its shape while she spoke. Everything she said, everything he said, and everything they both did were so stained with uncertainty and worry. It made progress near impossible. "Neither of us know what we're doing, Hadyn. It wasn't fair of me to try and put it back on you, either, and believe me, if there were a way to control it, I'd have put all my coin towards getting it. It was one thing to just..suddenly have Emily. I'd made that bargain some time ago...but this..."

She wanted to talk now? He should have really expected that. He supposed now was as good of a time as any. It wasn't fair for him to run in, say his part, and run out, though it wouldn't be the first time he'd done so. She seemed to expect that, and offered him a way out, which he very nearly took. Blue eyes looked to the door, then back to Hadyn, then to the door once more. "I..Yeah, we can talk. I've got no where else to be tonight other than in my undersized bed in a dorm fully of smelly teens. Sounds like a better deal to stick around here."

He offered a quick flash of his pearly whites, moving onto a chair closer to her. His mind was racing a million miles a chime as he tried to think about what she could possibly wish to speak about. It could be anything, and that's why he was worried. The look of concern on his face gave him away, but he remained glued to his seat and asked the most dangerous question he could. "So what do you have on your mind?"

[Hadyn Skellig]

This was a night for the unexpected. Brown eyes widened slightly when he agreed to stay, despite his anxious glances at the door. It was like cornering a wild animal, the need to escape paramount. Gods, now that he said he'd talk she'd better find something to say. Wiping the surprised look from her face the woman glanced down, tensely aware of the awkwardness between them. It was thick enough to wade through.

"Thanks," she began dumbly. A few ticks passed before she spoke again, her voice attempting confidence but falling painfully short. "I'm a mess - as you know. It's... well. It's a bitch. I can't do much these days without feelin' something about it."

Hadyn paused. Why was she telling him this? could he relate? did he care? swallowing down the desire to tell him he could go the brunette found herself unable to sit quietly. This was rough on both of them. But she'd asked him to stay so the burden was on her not to make an ass of them. Standing unevenly, a hand on her lower back as gravity reminded just how large her belly was the woman winced. She hated him seeing her like this. Oddly it wasn't because she was worried he didn't find her attractive. She could care less. Her present state was partially his fault. No, she loathed the idea that he could see her so weak. Helpless. Even walking up stairs were a feat of endurance and strength.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she walked carefully toward the forge. She stared aimlessly at the burning coals, considering going back to the whet stone. "I guess I wanted to tell you. Ask you. Well no. Under the suggestion of a friend I've got a larger apartment now. That hole in the wall y'might remember apparently wasn't suitable for a baby. Go figure," she remarked dryly with a glance his way. "Moved in some days ago. Not so bad."

What the petch are you doing? He doesn't give a damn where you live!

"Ah, petch, Orion. I can't do this. I'm tryin' be social with the father of my baby an' I can't manage a conversation. I thought of askin' how things have been with you but we both know y'can't be bothered for small talk." A frustrated sigh slipped her lips as she picked up the fire poker, stoking the coals for no reason. Sparks flew out of the furnace, barely missing her but she was too engrossed in her words to notice. "I don't know if you wanted to know how things have been. Or if that'll make it worse. I don't know. You... you can go if you want. I'm just makin' a fool out of myself."

Great. Just great. You invite him to stay and have nothing to say for yourself. He's probably thrilled you're carrying his child, the poor thing.