A really rough day for me today, to forewarn I might refer to God in this post as I am a Christian. If it offends I would suggest you not read further, I am not trying to be offensive.
My church is the one place other then my home that I am reasonably comfortable. I don't like getting out much, it just leaves me with a case of the sense of just danger. I can't really explain it, that is not quite right but it is close. Anyway, my church family is the greatest, we are very close to each other and I know that if I need anything they are there, and they know that the same goes for them from me.
One of my friend's daughter got married last year in July, I was so excited because this daughter grew up to be such a great woman. She is 12 years younger then I am but she is such a solid woman that it is hard to remember she is not old enough to Drink. Well I guess she will be in a couple of weeks when she turns 21. I digress, anyway she married her husband, a man from Nigeria here on a student Visa. They are such a great couple and both are strong Christians. Well she turned up pregnant and there was a lot of celebration. My friend's first grandchild, it was awesome. I got to church this morning and got the news that Lydia had went to her 4 month check up on Friday, when Emake her husband was going to his own physical for his citizenship application. She was all alone, when they told her they could no longer find a heartbeat. they went to do a sonogram and no movement. Instead of calling someone she dealt with that news completely and totally alone.
She did not call or tell anyone until later Friday evening, when her husband and returned home and she told him. I can't imagine having to process that alone. Saturday they gave her patosin (Spelling is wrong I know) to induce labor so that she could give birth to the baby. She is physically fine, emotionally she is stronger then I think I could ever be. She has such a peace about herself, even when we sat down and she cried it was still a strength of tears. I know that it is her faith in God, and in his timing that is carrying her through this. I feel a bit ...awkward and fumbly when I held her, and when I held her mother my friend..how am I suppose to help and make this better? I can't. And That is something I hate. I hate not being able to help and make their pain better.
And then, I just got a phone call from my Pastor, and an older lady who I respected and looked up too passed away this morning while we were in church. She was 85 years old, and had lived a full and good life. She had struggled with her health in the last three months, so it wasn't terribly surprising..... but it is saddening.
I will miss her.
