Closed [Tent outskirts] Trying to live a lie and failing (Oryani

[Isedan Autumnrun]

Timestamp Fall 50, 513

With a final hard grunt and long, heavy exhale, he rolled off of her, laying on his back and breathing hard through his nose, the reek of his own musk heavy in the tent and the heady nausea in her own throat making her heart fret in her chest. He had his child coming, could he not just let her be? Maybe he had yet to realize it, it wasn't as if Issy went out of her way to tell him. She simply didn't care enough to talk to them, any of them, though that Elder, Tudav, was making an effort to socialize with her, albeit limitedly.

Wiping the slick of his spit from her mouth, Issy rolled away from the man and laid on her side until she heard his nasal snores that told her he was at last asleep. How much time had it taken him this time? A bell? Two? She didn't care, the woman wanted only to escape and listen to the world beyond for a while, maybe it would lighten her some...maybe. She even thought about Shifting for a while and walking among the tents. It was harder to see at night, of course, her diurnal vision as a feline making that difficult, but her powerful hearing would easily make up for that. Of course, that was assuming she found the courage to do that. She first needed to slip away.

Once up, the woman stood on the balls of her feet, grabbing her cloak only and wrapping it around her tall and lean form. Winter was creeping slowly over the grasslands but had yet to touch frost on the tall stalks or bring the snows. It wasn't that late in the season yet.

She walked swiftly on bare feet through the silent pavilions, stepping over ropes and weaving between tents until she reached the edge. The soft nicker of the horses could be heard ahead, a few torches visible and larger flames peaking over the tops of the Sea where the glass-beak blazes bloomed. Issy stopped here and shed her cloak, folding it carefully and stashing it beneath the lip of one of the tents she was near. The cool of the night made her shiver, gooseflesh popping out across her skin. She ached for the feel of the grass on her paws and the sun on her back as she stalked the grasses for mice and birds. Maybe, just to infuriate him, she could deliver a dead shrew to him and place it in his boot.

Cotice had eyes only for her womb and what she could craft for him in it. Would this one be what he sought? Would it be strong like him? Or would it be sick and frail and weak? Or worse, would it be a lass? "Petch, I don't care, just give me some freedom to cry where none will hear me." She could not expect any to be near to hear or see her. Her hand fell to the ever so faint swell beneath her navel, not even detectable when she wore clothes, though Issy could most certainly tell she was. Her belly was tight and 'the sickness' had begun a good month ago. She could vaguely remember entering estruss though her dejected attitude did not exactly mean she was physically responsive. Issy had, as every time before, simply laid there and took it in silence, completely uncaring of it all.

With a sigh, the dame closed her eyes, murmuring longingly under her breath, and then let herself dissolve into that long missed, long loved form. There was a swirl of colors where she stood one instant and then a long-legged cat the next. Being in this form only made her miss Lukyc more, but she could do it. She had to. She needed the comfort of grass on paws now more than effort and with a low gruu and languid stretch, the serval turned from the horses resting nearby and wove back into the tents. Her long legs carried her through the ropes easily enough and at one point, the kelvic found herself back near the outskirts, her large ears twitching with the nocturnal sounds.

She had this uncanny urge to roll around in the grasses for a while, batting at night bugs and watching the stars swirl overhead, but that would have been too much. What would have been more lovely was to have Lukyc back to curl up against and purr happily, rub her face into his side, lick his hair and neck and arms and be happy with him. The feline gruu'd once again and then slowly slunk out from the tent rim into the shallow clearing of flattened grass nearby in order to just sprawl heavily, looking a bit like a dead cat as she did so. Anyone who walked by might surely think she WAS dead!

[Oryani]

Oryani was still firing arrows into the tree well after the sun went down. It wasn't just that she was intent in her work, slower as it was because of the racking coughs that kept running through her body. It had taken all her effort just to slip out of the pavilion tent without her mother knowing... the woman always tried to keep the Chatakwe in bed when she was sick. But Oryani hated being sick. It was a huge hindrance to what she normally did, but even worse, she was always sick. At least once a season she came down with some form of a cold or another, her body failing on her and making her have to stop whatever practice she normally did.

Today she had been trying to test her aim against a stiff, scrawny tree that lay just inside the city, with Khal as always at her back. The horse was a great reassurance whenever she was sick, his big warm body always near and comforting. After coughing several times into the dark air, she drew her last arrow- the rest were scattered on and around the tree- and fitted it into the bowstring. Again, coughs racked her body but she quickly recovered, wincing at the pain in her throat and chest. The Drykas drew her bow, aiming vaguely at the dim shape of the tree before her. Pointing to the relative middle, she released, listening to the satisfying thud of arrow on wood. She set down her bow, coughing a few times, before retrieving the twenty-or-so arrows she'd brought with her. The other twenty were still in her tent. Some of the arrows were deeply embedded into the trunk, causing her great annoyance when they took a lot more effort than usual to take out. At least that meant her shots were getting harder. Finally collecting all twenty of the arrows, she spotted an odd form on her way back.

It looked... like some kind of animal, sprawled on the ground as if it was practically dead. Worried slightly, Oryani moved over to it, leaving her arrows in a pile a little ways away. She crouched by the creature, hoping it wasn't some kind of dangerous thing... she pressed a hand to its side, careful to avoid the mouth, and felt long smooth fur... and warm. It was alive. Now closer, and with a better look, she took in it's odd appearance. Tall, unusually broad ears told her it was probably some kind of cat, and it's long body was different to that of a lion. it was also thinner than a lion, and with... spotted fur? She could barely make out the pattern in the moonlight. Still... it didn't seem dangerous. The Chatakwe took a few moments, now sitting cross-legged before the creature, and ran her hand along it's furry side. The soft hairs were comforting, just like Khal's mane, and made her aching chest feel a little better... just.

Almost jinxing it, another bout of coughs ran through her body, causing Oryani to turn away from the feline. The coughs hurt almost more than last time, and left a lasting painful feeling in her chest and throat. The archer rubbed the painful bits with her hand, as if that would help, before returning her attention to the odd cat... she hoped she hadn't woken it...

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[Isedan Autumnrun]

Gods, just let me let go...

It was all that went through the felines mind as she lay so still in the grass, her head arched back and her body comfortably sprawled in the soft and moistened green. She could feel a bug crawling across her tail and out of reflex, her muscles twitched, sending it flying away into the unknown.

That was when something was approaching her, but what did she care, her breathing silent and shallow as if to further the illusion (or was it reality?). Feet in the grass, and then a hand on her chest. Issy groaned inwardly, chest heaving up in an agonized way. Though it was not really a physical pain, the depth of her ache may as well have made it physical. The deep inhale and subsequent exhale had managed to at least show Ory that she was indeed alive.

But the weight of the hand shifted and was suddenly sweeping through the dense velvet of her fur, the action so agonizingly familiar that the serval couldn't help but sigh in longing. Lukyc... Was he back form the grave to haunt her now? Had she finally died and when her head raised she would see him sitting beside her stroking her fur, all of his love thrown across the bond at her. Issy lifted her head and peered at the dark figure who even now coughed.

The first thing she noticed as that the figure had long hair, which her Lukyc had not had. The second was that the smell was of Woman, not Man. The third was that this woman was sick in some way, but as her hand rose to stroke down her side again, uncaring it seemed to the waking of the cat, all Issy could think was how she missed his touch and how that gentle affection she now received so severely reminded her of Him that she was sure she would die.

This torture must stop.

Issy arched herself until one paw could catch the hand that affectioned her, the other sliding beneath it and 'holding' the hand between them. Her claws were still sheathed save for the dews which provided the main source of grip in this action and with a low 'gruu', the serval put the hand aside and rolled onto her belly, world-wary and sad. Her knee-joints stuck up high beside her body, the over-long legs bent sharply to allow for the position and the short tail the cat bore twitched against the ground. Issy lowered her head onto front paws, sighing once more, those enormous ears flicking to every little sound, even this strangers breathing.

[Oryani]

Oryani nearly jerked her hand back in surprise, but she didn’t want to startle the cat even more. Instead, she let the feline grab her own hand in its paws, before making a funny ‘gruu’ sound. It shifted, rolling onto its stomach and sitting with ears alert. The Chatakwe watched the movements in amazement, loving the way the cat moved. It was so… graceful. And those ears were amazing! She reached a hand down to scratch their base for a moment, before once again running her hand along the cat’s back to the base of its tail, scratching there as well. She repeated the action a few more times, muttering ”Well aren’t you beautiful… such big ears! I bet you can hear everything… including me”

She grinned widely, before once again having to turn and cough loudly. This time, the coughs lasted for nearly a chime, pausing for barely a moment before starting again. The Drykas cursed at every breath she got, her chest feeling like it was being ripped apart by lions. By the end, there were tears of pain in the corner of her eyes, but she wiped them away angrily. Coughs were the worst. She hated pain, and though she could live through it, it was annoying, especially when there was no way she could stop it. Her mother would tell her to lie down, but that only made it worse, and there was no way to sleep upright in a tent… though she hated solid walls, they were useful at times. That was mostly why she was avoiding sleeping tonight, not wanting to face the increased number of racking coughs and pain that it brought.

Sighing, she returned her hand to caressing the feline’s side, scratching the top of its head and then it’s back happily. Khal had clopped over to see what was taking his friend so long, and paused momentarily over the cat. He leaned his head down to sniff the creature’s nose, in a sort of face off, before lifting his head again to stare at Oryani. The Strider nuzzled his companion’s head, before moving off in search of some tasty things to nibble on. The Chatakwe had rubbed his nose absently with her free hand, but kept most of her attention on the smaller animal.

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[Isedan Autumnrun]

When the woman's hand found its way to the bottom of her ears, Issy nearly wailed in despair, too many times enjoying such a simple action as a scritch with her bondmate. Her large ears were especially sensitive so attention to them had been high with Lukyc, his fingers often tickling from base to tip and how it broke her heart now that it wasn't his hand to do so, but this strangers. Why was she even petting her in the first place? Did she look like a house pet?

The wail that wanted to rise only came out as a low growling sound though nothing else about the serval spoke of aggression; it was hard to convey such an emotion as heartbreak or sadness in this shape. Very, very hard. Anger or agitation and joy or excitement were by far easier. The soft clop of horse hooves in the grass made the cats ears twitch and her grey-gold eyes come into focus on the beast of burden that came near. He did not look much like the Zavian that that oaf Cotice had given her, but he was strangely friendly. It was this which brought a little of her spirit up as her head rose to meet the offered nose of the other animal.

Her whiskers thrust forward, lips tightening and she chuffed softly in return greeting to this unnamed beast, a serval too small to really pose a threat to such as it.

How fortunate you must be, horse, to go about your life unawares but for the treats your rider may give you, content to plod and eat and shyke...Would you let me lounge upon you as I used to with Lukyc and his gelding?

She wondered at this as the woman beside her continued to pet and stroke and love on the docile feline. Until she hit that spot at the base of her tail. It should have sent a spike of delight through her but the memory was soured right now and Issy turned her head and hissed sharply at Oryani, manuevering her backside out of reach as she sat up and turned to face the human with eyes like midnight.

I wish that you would stop touching me. Her thoughts projected but could not be heard, though the sour look of the cat staring back at the Chaktawe might have spared a glimpse into her thoughts. I am not your pet. But the bitterness faded as her head turned towards the horse that sauntered off a little in search of nibbling treats it might gain. Such a fine creature, more comforting right now than this woman with her obscene coughing that made the fur on her neck rise uncomfortably.

Pausing for a moment, the serval arched her head in and licked at her chest a bit, a few hairs that had been clumped now pulled free and stripped off her tongue with a few good blech's. Her eyes had found the horse once more and sparing but another glimpse to Ory, Isedan got to her feet (and my what height she had! Those long legs lifted her to a proud twenty five inches off the ground, though her body did not have the length of big cats) and stretched, claws grabbing at the grass for a moment then straightening to saunter towards Khal.

If he did not lash out or otherwise show disfavor, Issy would come to sit in his line of sight, offering him a friendly chirp. The company of Beast was far superior to that of Man the longer she stayed in this preferred form. Why had she not simply shifted before? Why had it taken so long?

Such a beauty, would you let me near you, horse? Let me lie in comfort upon your back? At least the human will not pet me...to sour the memory right now as much as I enjoy it.

[Oryani]

Oryani felt slightly hurt when the cat hissed at her, but politely backed up, siting with one leg folded and the other up. On this knee she rested her head, watching the feline stare at her, before stalking away towards Khal. Well, she didn't really see, since it was too dark to make out much. Instead, she actually sensed the movement of the creature, a sense that didn't fail her in the dark like sight. It was still useless in crowded places, however, part of the reason she rarely ventured into cities.

Her mostly useless eyes still followed the cat as it sat before her stallion, a small smile on her face. Khal himself looking up from his munching calmly, before lightly nudging the cat's head with his own nose. He grabbed a large bite of grass, but instead of eating it, he dropped it carefully at the feline's paws, as if offering it to her. The Chatakwe grinned as she felt the movement of grass and horse, finding her Strider's actions quite funny. He was always a big softy, and never over reacted to anything. He was quite unhorse-like that way, not being frightened of anything... Oryani actually respected the big stallion for that, he was as brave as any Diamond Clan Drykas she knew.

After a little pause, she wondered out loud "What are you doing so near the city, little cat? You don't look like you live here. And you're not a lion. Do you live in the grass? Or somewhere far away, in a big forest? Maybe in the deserts of Ekytol? If so... what are you doing out here?" She didn't expect the feline to understand her, nor expected an answer... of course the creature wouldn't be able to speak. She smiled ruefully, thinking of the ways Khal always seemed to understand what she wanted without words. That was the glory of a Strider's bond. She wondered if other people... or creatures, like this cat, understood something like that. She'd heard of a Kelvic's bond, but had never had one, so didn't know what it was like.

x

[Isedan Autumnrun]

If she could smile, she would have as the horse bumped her; Issy would have to settle for a purr, chuffing again at the beast while her ears twisted and twitched. Gods her heart hurt just looking at the steed, the swift lighter colored gelding she had known filling her thoughts. How many bells had she spent stretched on the horses back while they rode, occasionally slinking around to the front to nuzzle had her love.

When the mount tore a mouthful of grass from the ground and offered it to her, the serval laughed inside, for once delighted. It was such a strange gesture the beast did, an offer of friendship if ever there was one, that the only thing to do was laugh! With jaws open, she panted quietly. Her ears would flex towards the womans voice then, head briefly turning to regard her with one reflective eye, before the serval was standing. She mewled at the horse, stepping over the offer of sweetgrass and rubbing her side against his legs. The feline then wove between his front, always rubbing, licking at his knees, and then coming to the other side where she peered up at the back so high above. It was an easy jump for the long-legged feline but was it one she wanted to chance. This small comfort of animal on animal interaction was soothing to the so troubled kelvic.

Eventually, she opted to make the effort and with little expenditure, she bent into a half-crouch and leapt! Her padded feet grappled for the horses side and she feared she would have to use her claws to grip him before getting her purchase. Throwing a mental sorry unheard through her own mind, her front paws claws extended just slightly before she found her grip, hoping this kindly horse did not go throwing her off.

If it did not, well, the victory was hers! Issy gruu'd at it several times, front mitts kneading gently until balance demanded she settle into a draped state over his mid-back, easily steadying herself on the broad girth of his barrel and eyes searching for where last the woman who had pet her had been seen.

[Oryani]

Oryani felt the cat leap high up onto Khal’s back, surprised at its range. It had to scramble a bit, and probably use it’s claws, but the stallion was wearing a saddle blanket so he didn’t mind. Instead, he almost enjoyed the creature’s presence, and the Chatakwe herself had to supress some laughter. Of course, this led to another bout of racking coughs, leaving the woman in a slightly sour mood. Considering it, the feline probably didn’t like all the noise she was making, probably why it went to her Strider instead.

Said horse craned his head back to stare at his new passenger, though wasn’t able to go far. Instead, he simply stared for nearly a chime, before going back to munching on a tasty patch of clover. Oryani herself had fished out a piece of dried jerky from her pocket, with the intention of feeding her new friend (at least in her opinion). She’d planned on eating it herself, but with all the coughs… she wasn’t exactly hungry. Instead, she offered it to the cat’s mouth, letting it get a good sniff of the meat before eating. And she expected it to eat- what animal wouldn’t accept free food?

OOCSorry about the short post… not much to say for me 

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[Isedan Autumnrun]

The longer she stayed in this form, the more the grief began to abate, her natural instincts kicking in and reminding her of what she truly was, not the shadow of humanity she had become at Lukyc's death. Why couldn't she have reverted sooner? Why the painful lingering on that which bore no fur, weaker senses, weaker mind... Such a fool I am to walk alone, and yet where can I go? I am so far from home and it hurts so much to look to this world beyond these tents and horses and ropes...Oh Lukyc... The serval mreowed in a clicking voice when she heard and then saw that woman coming closer once more, now offering something. The offer was ignored for the hand behind it as her neck stretched and nose touched the bare skin. She yearned for the comfort of contact that did not devolve into the torturous embrace that obsessed human had in her. Why must he continue to take her in his arms and divulge on her the affections she desperately did not want. Her nose touched the wrist, light and cool before she chirped softly and rubbed her cheek against the warm flesh, purring wantingly. The behavior was so un-wildlike it wasn't even funny. What animal did that naturally that had not been trained previously or was kept by humans? And yet, this one wore no mantle of ownership. Her aching heart simply yearned for the attentions that would not leave her worn and soul-wearied.

[Oryani]

Oryani gave the cat an odd look, really not understanding its actions. It... didn't accept the food... and actually sniffed her hand? What? From all its actions, it seemed like a very strange creature indeed... certainly not wild. But if bore no marks of being a pet, or a companion. Maybe it was sick? That would explain the lack of interest in the food, but... nothing else. This was strange. Very strange. Offhand, she wondered if the cat would be her pet, as it was beautifully magnificent, quite friendly, and had the looks of a hunter. But... it was probably some one else's companion or friend, thinking on it.

Sighing quietly, she used her free hand to rub the feline's head, scratching a bit behind, before once again forcing the meat in front of its mouth. No animal denied a bit of food... unless they were sick or something. So maybe this one was sick? It might have been full, but she couldn't really tell. Still, it was strange for it to simply ignore the offered piece of meat. And that worried her slightly.

As she offered food, Khal tried to give his own sort of gift. He'd found another large bite of grass, and, as best he could, tried to throw it at the cat. Most of his ammo missed, but a few long strands landed ungracefully on the creature's head. He'd also managed to fling a bit of spit in there as well. The Chatakwke chuckled, but it quickly turned into a painful round of coughs that stopped her for several moments. Despite her convulsions, however, she still used a free hand to hold the dried strip of meat over to the feline, though it wavered quite a bit.

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