[Temple of All Gods] Of Guidance and Grace

by **Hadyn Skellig** on October 9th, 2013, 7:32 pm

50th of Fall
7th Bell
513 AV

Hadyn stood at the entrance to the temple, allowing her eyes to adjust to the change in light. It'd been years. Year. But in that time nothing had changed, including her anxiety. Addressing the gods was not something the woman was particularly known for. Especially here. But after internal dialogue and interactions with those closest to her left her more puzzled than before Hadyn figured speaking to the gods was the most logical step. Perhaps she should've tried that to begin with.

Stepping further into the building the brunette chewed on her bottom lip, gaze sweeping the length of the temple. This early bell saw only two others seated as far away from each other as possible, heads bowed. There was a stoic reverent silence about the place. The kind meant for contemplation and peace. All Hadyn felt was apprehension and unease.

Seating herself midway between the others the weaponsmith set her satchel beside her, pausing to take pleasure in the green light the stained glass bathed her in. She was dressed for work, the linen shirt making no attempt to hide the evidence of her pregnancy. Smoothing the material over her bump the woman closed her eyes, considering how to go about this.

Would the gods look upon her with a critical eye? Was it right for her to seek their counsel only when she had no where else to find answers or solace? Shouldn't she have maintained some sort consistency instead of going to them as a last resort? If she were a deity she might look upon herself with disdain. But now that she was here, seated in the temple with the early light of morning filtered through colorful glass Hadyn realized there was no where else she'd rather be.

Leaning forward the woman flipped open the flap of her satchel, hand disappearing within to carefully - and quietly - rummage for the desired item. Once her fingers felt the smooth sides of the object she removed it from the bag, sitting back up and closing her eyes once more. The wooden bear was small enough to sit in the curled palm of her hand, its sanded surface warming quickly with the heat of her hand.

Bowing her head the woman took slow breaths, trying to find the words to offer the deity of choice. It took her many days to select the appropriate god. Prayer was not something Hadyn did often and as such she did not know who to appeal to for her concerns. Finally she settled on the goddess her mother often prayed to, the effigy in her hand once Marnie Skellig's. Once the realization came to her it seemed odd to have taken so long to see.

"Oriana, daughter of Caiyha, please hear me," Hadyn voice was quiet, but a murmur into the empty space before her. "I have not... I am not often to call upon your favor. But I am in need of your guidance. And grace. For I am utterly lost. I seek your wisdom and strength to be a good mother to the child I carry. Long has it been since I have prayed, regretfully. But I hope you will not hold that against me. How I managed to be worthy of this gift I don't know. I ask for serenity to accept the challenges before me and fortitude to do so alone."

The woman fell silent, expression placid as she kept her eyes closed. A finger ran along the side of the bear's head as she took a breath. The anxiety had left without her noticing until she finished her plea. There wasn't much more to say but she didn't want to get up. She wondered if there was more she should add. More to explain. Would Oriana bless her? perhaps not. But it was cathartic to speak to the goddess, despite the pain nestling in her breast. Resting her forehead in the palm of one hand, her elbow resting on her knee the brunette took another slow breath.

by **Hadyn Skellig** on November 9th, 2013, 7:05 pm

Squeezing her eyes closed the woman debated whether to be on her way or linger still. She'd said her piece, right? Nothing else to offer. Unlikely Oriana wanted to hear her complain much more. The bear in her hand was warm from the heat of her hand, fitting neatly in her palm. How often had her mother prayed to the goddess? Hadyn struggled to remember.

Her parents, so dear to her, had been gone for so long she could only try to recall what it felt like to miss them. Perhaps it was wrong for a child to feel thus. But even while her mother and father lived it was her brothers who raised her. Owain and Marnie worked nearly every day of their lives to see their children were healthy and happy. Hadyn could not conjure one memory of her mother settling her into bed. Instead the image of her eldest brother appeared, his young face almost godlike in her eyes as he tucked the corners of the blanket in the bed she shared with Brody. Liam replaced her parents when they passed away but truthfully he'd always played that role.

He was gone.

All her brothers were gone in one way or another. Ioan and Brody couldn't leave Syliras fast enough. Once Hadyn was established as an apprentice of weaponsmithing with Liam both boys fled the walled city. In her youth she imagined they were chasing something. Now she understood they were escaping. Syliras was confinement and squelched the dreams they had. Ioan's pursuit of knowledge took him to Zeltiva first before he settled in Ravok, letters coming every other year detailing his life with his wife Cylene. Brody had entirely fallen off the map. He was headed to Zeltiva and Hadyn received perhaps two or three correspondences from him but then they stopped. It neither surprised nor worried her. Brody was like that.

Opening her eyes Hadyn blinked the tears pricking the back of her eyes. Clinging to the wooden effigy the woman bowed her head, the pain of missing heavy on her chest. She felt so gods-forsaken alone. The feeling of being cast off wasn't a concept she addressed often but it wavered on the edges of her thought, hand in hand with loneliness, reminding her that those she cared for weren't there. And any close bonds she would make would eventually leave. It was understandable.

"Let this child never know abandonment," Hadyn murmured, surprising herself when the words issued aloud. She released her white-knuckle grip on the bear a little, breathing slowly as she waited. For what?

After a chime the brunette stood. Enough of this. Hadn't she already wallowed in enough pity? Picking her satchel off the ground she deposited her mother's idol into its depths before shouldering the bag. A quick glance about the temple reaffirmed how unnatural she felt in a place of worship. Slipping between the seats and down the aisle the woman exited as quietly as she'd entered.