Darkest Night (Van, closed)

[Khiara]

15th day of Summer, evening

Khiara lay looking out the window in the low light of her room. The vantha had fled the Sanctuary shortly after greeting Kavala - unable to face Vsenri in all his agon. It tore at her heart like a rabid dog. Watching Vsenri in his pain and his weakness had made it worse. Eliac lived on in the stallion for her, he was the only thing remaining that the vantha could truly claim a link back to the youth. Shaken from the flat, unthinking mind she'd experienced before Kashik had found her, Khiara promised to come back, begged Kavala to look after him - and had run.

Making it back to the stable where she'd lain Vsenri, the young woman had paid for a room and made her way upstairs...where she had remained that night and all of the next day. Kashik knew where it was, and Khiara wasn't sure she could go back. What if Vsenri had died? Goddess, the thought made her sick. Laying under the sheet of the bed, she'd watched the sun rise and fall, leaving the fire nothing but a low burning pile of embers. Her thought's were nowhere and everywhere, and she couldn't bring herself to move. Unseeing golden eyes stared on, wishing she'd just made that jump. Goddess, why did she still live?

As night crept in the vantha began to feel the pang of hunger in her stomach. Rising from the bed, she dressed in the flowing white dress the konti had leant her and brushed her hair gently. The gash over her eye had bruised, and the qound begunto heal. The split in her lip was healing faster, but regardless she still looked like she'd been kicked in the face. Laceration and bruises on her arms completed the look and staring at dull golden eyes in the mirror - Khiara didn't care. Making her way downstairs she entered the tavern and pulled up a quiet table in the corner, ordering a mug of strong akalak white wine and a plate of bread and cheese. The meal sat untouched as she sipped the liquid, staring into nothing.

[Vanator]

Once tensions between Kashik and he had eased, Vanator's wife relayed to him the events surrounding her encounter with Khiara. Van was surprised to hear that Kashik had known the Vanthan girl, having even taken her to a celebration at her pavilion last season. Likewise, the Drykas was a bit taken aback when his young wife suggested that he find her. The northerner had been at the end of her rope, nearly suicidal and grieving over the seriously wounded Vsenri. Kash knew that there had been ...something between Khiara and Van, formally ended before they left for Riverfall. Nevertheless, Van's mate encourage him to find her, that the weary Vanthan needed his friendship. Kashik had pointed her husband in the direction of the stable where Vsenri had been kept. Most likely, she said, the girl would be staying at the inn there. So, as the last glow of the sun that had disappeared into the Suvan Sea cast a fading orange hue on the cliff side city, Vanator followed the directions to the the tavern and inn. As he strode through the streets and stairways of Riverfall, Vanator relived his last encounter with Khiara, just fifteen days earlier. They had argued heatedly over his betrothal to Kahsik and the way he had broken Pygmy's heart. But, in the end, it was the the undeniably strong feelings between the two of them that they had to wrestle. There was a moment when, embraced in a passionate kiss, they nearly succumbed to their love. But they both knew it was wrong, that it would only make things more difficult for them both. So they released one another, and witout a word, Khiara had walked out of his tent and out of his life. Or so he thought. Upon entering the tavern, the Drykas received a number of curious stares, some less curious and more foreboding. The majority of the patrons were Akalak, with a few women of various races peppered among them. Any human males must have clung to the darker edges of the lamp-lit room. It was time for the evening meal, and the room was filled with Akalak chatter and the clatter of metal plates and wooden bowls. Making his way to the semi-circular bar, Vanator asked for a mead. The burly Akalak behind the counter simply shook his head with a scowl. "Ale then." Taking the tankard and settling up with the barkeep, Van turned to scan the room. He would search for Khiara here first. In a far, poorly lit corner, Vanator saw a lone woman seated at a table. She had dark hair, not unlike Khiara's, but the dim illumination concealed details of the woman's features. He began to make his way in her direction, seeking to determine if it was indeed his friend lurking in the shadows.

[Khiara]

Khiara sipped her wine slowly, neither paying attention to the food on the table or the patrons in the tavern. She was tired, worn and broken. The bruising hurt, but she felt more the internal ache. Eliac, Pygmy, Vanator...Vsenri. It didn't make sense. What evil deed had she done to bring so much pain - not just to herself, but to the people and things she held dearest? They would all be better off if she'd never existed in the first place.

Taking another sip, the vantha caught a movement in the peripheral of her vision. It was coming closer. Someone was approaching her table. The young woman had heard of the blue-skinned men, they only existed as men. So women were a sort of...delicacy, hard to come by. And required to procreate. Looking down at her wine, Khiara swirled it.

"Please, just leave me..." Lifting her golden eyes, the brunette stopped. It felt like her heart stopped too. Swallowing hard, Khiara allowed herself time to process the vision before her. His gold tanned skin, golden hair...full lips and well chiselled nose. And his eyes, deep rich brown with enough power to freeze her in place from across the room. Slowly, her mind began to form thoughts. Why was he here? How did he find her? Where was Kashik. Ah yes...Kashik. She would have told her about the cliff, and the inn. Kashik. The vantha forced herself to think of the woman as she looked at Vanator. A swirl of violet danced across her eyes, and she turned her gaze away from him, back to her wine. What could she say to him, what good would come of this? Faintly her skin tingled where he'd lingered before they'd departed. Kashik, Kashik, Kashik. Khiara sipped her drink, unspeaking.

[Vanator]

As Vanator drew closer to the corner, he could see that the lone woman was Khiara. His heart leapt in his chest, and his steps faltered. She looked.....horrible. The Vanthan woman was as attractive as ever, but her beauty was marred by cuts and bruises, and a sullen look in her face. Van's pace picked up until he stood by Khiara's table. The Drykas' heart sank when he saw the violet pain in Khiara's eyes. Kashik had told him of the woman's desperation. She had suffered much loss, he knew, from Eliac to the events in Endrykas, and now, Vsenri's injuries. When they parted, Khiara had told him all she had now was the Frostmarch, and even his future was now uncertain. Sympathy for the woman he still loved, and guilt for having abandoned her, wracked his soul. "Khiara...." He started. Words were not coming easily. He had not expected to see her again, though he thanked the gods that she was here now. "I, I heard about Vsenri." Vanator took the liberty of taking a seat next to Khiara, placing his ale on the table. "Are you alright?" His hand reached out hesitantly. He wanted to stroke her hair, caress her cheek. The magnetic attraction he had felt for the Vanthan girl was as strong as ever. He strove to temper it, as always. The two of them had always had to restrain their affections. Instead he tenderly felt the dark bruise on her face. "Khiara, I am here now."

[Khiara]

It was impossible to ignore the drykas as he stopped by her table, the familiar scent of warm grassland radiating off him as it always had for her. With effort, the young woman kept her shifting eyes on her wine as Vanator spoke, her pulse quickening simply from the sound of his voice. Sympathy, empathy...that same undercurrent to the tone of his voice. Goddess, she ached for it to be meant for her. The girl could sense him sit beside her, could see him from the corner of her eye. Was she alright? The vantha swallowed hard, unable to speak. No, she wasn't.

Khiara saw him reach out, hesitate. As he moved to touch the bruise on her face, the brunette drew back slightly. She could just about feel her whole being fighting the feelings that arose around him.

"Don't...I don't want to hurt anyone else." The woman said finally, her voice soft and almost monotone. Taking another sip of wine, she turned her gaze to him, and immediately regretted it. There, on his neck, a new mark. A chevas mark. He was already married, within weeks. Tears stung her eyes, and the events of the past few days surged in her mind. Closing her eyes, she forced back the emotions - knowing they were getting the best of her. Kashik had managed to stave it off for a while, but reality was, she didn't have anything left.

"Why are you even here?" She asked, opening her eyes to meet his. It wasn't a question, it was more of statement.

[Vanator]

Vanator held still when Khiara moved slightly to avoid his touch. He withdrew his hand. The Drykas could see Khiara's struggle, her emotions barely controlled. He would not push her, and waited patiently. When she finally spoke, it was not as the Khiara he knew. Van and Khiara had shared much, things that had hurt them, left them scarred. But never had the northerner been so despondent, depressed and hopeless. It laced her words and hung heavy over her like a smothering blanket. The horseman did not miss the woman's darting gaze settle on his chevas mark. The two of them had not been together for a few reasons, not the least of which was his pending marriage. He believed Khiara assumed that taking a wife was the end of any possibilities for the future. In truth, among the Drykas, that was not entirely true. Nevertheless, Van saw the tears well up in hollow eyes, and his heart broke for Khiara. If he had doubted that he had loved her in the fifteen days since she walked out of his tent, those doubts were dashed to pieces. At the moment, he wanted nothing more than to embrace her, to tell her everything was going to be alright, to soak up her scintillating eyes and feel her warmth. But she was damaged, wounded, fragile. Her flat question, comment really, dug at him. In its droning tone he heard a lost soul, one that no longer had faith in him, or anything. "I came for you." Van sighed heavily. "Look, I, I am sorry about all that has happened Khiara. But believe me, I am here now, for you. Kashik knows I am here, she knows about...what you mean to me, she told me where to find you." His hand slowly reached out to lay over top of Khiara's. "And you have never hurt me. I don't think you could Khi."

[Khiara]

Khiara held her hand still, heart beating in her ears. Her eyes shifted, a pale lavender and her breathing faltered for just a moment. A small frown creased her forehead.

"You tell me you didn't feel pain when we parted? That I didn't cause you pain with Pygmy? Or your decision to marry Kashik? I was...I am...foolish and young and lost. I clung to the little moments I felt...something...and I made people suffer for it." Taking a deep breath, Khiara felt a rush of anguish as she spoke.

"You don't deserve this. I'm not anything to you but an inconvenience. Why should you have to come to my rescue. Your not my father, my husband. Your not even my lover. Your just..." Swallowing against the lump in her throat, the vantha took another breath, acknowledgement of emotions starting to register on her face, if not in her voice as it quavered slightly.

"Just a kind stranger." The anger gave way to the severe ache in her heart. Khiara turned away from Vanator, covering her face with her free hand. Almost immediately, she made a sound of discomfort as her fingers bumped the gash above her eye and the vantha removed it, clenching them tightly. Looking back at the drykas, the young woman shook her head.

"Vsenri...I have nothing."

[Vanator]

Vanator was actually alarmed at Khiara's words. He never blamed her for anything that had transpired. He never regretted meeting her, never resented the feelings they secretly shared. But the wounds life had inflicted on Khiara had finally broken her. She had turned all her misfortune on herself, alllowing it to eat her until she had no self worth. She was jaded, dangerously so. As the distraught woman struggled to speak, he could see the signs of a wave of emotion churning behind her hue-shifting eyes. Seeing Khiara so dejected, gave Vanator pangs of guilt. It was he that forced them apart, even forced her from Pygmy. Once again, the Drykas wished he had done things differently. He would not have let Khiara go, he would have worked something out. He stung at being called a stranger. Vanator wanted to rebuke her. How could she call him a stranger after all they had been through? Van realized it was the pain and despair talking. In her eyes, she had failed everyone, she was alone because of something she had done. Van looked at Khiara, even as she averted her eyes. "Khiara, I felt pain when we parted, sure. But you did not cause it, it just happened. If anyone is to blame it is me. I would never take back how I feel for you, in spite of the pain. And I know it hurt when Pygmy left, but that was my doing as well, and you know it." "You call me a stranger. Do you remember that night behind the tavern in Endrykas? You told me about Eliac, and I told you about Tamar. I had never spoken with anyone who could understand what I was going through but my sister, and she was gone. But you knew. Do you know how much that meant to me, just seeing you and knowing one person knew what I felt, what I struggled with? And Khiara, I know your pain too, because of what we shared. You are so much more to me than a stranger. " The Drykas moved until he could catch Khiara's gaze, locking his eyes to hers, so she could see his true intent reflected in them. "You are not an inconvenience Khiara. Listen to me. You are a a lifeline I regret ever letting go. You are not alone. I am here. Kashik is here, Khiara, she sent me to you. Its alright." The hand Van had rested on Khiara's squeezed gently. He did not release her mournful gaze, he would not let go of her, Vanator would not let the Vanthan destroy herself.

[Khiara]

Khiara stared at the mark on his neck as Vanator spoke, not really looking at it but unwilling to meet his gaze again. The mention of the kelvic twisted in her gut and she felt again the shame, guilt and sadness mingled with the memory of her friend. She was a terrible person. A bad friend. It had been wrong to act upon her feelings with Vanator, knowing Pygmy loved him as much as she did.

As the drykas continued, the vantha wanted to close her ears to the sound of his voice. Of course she remembered that night? How could she forget. It had been an awakening, a revelation. It confused and released her, and its where the mess had all started. Goddess, hearing Eliac's name from the man's mouth was like a kick to the knees. Her vision wavered as tears welled. There was a darkness she'd fallen into, an abyss that consumed everything - and as Vanator spoke it shed a small light into the darkness. Like a crumbling wall, she could feel herself crawling out of the numb self hatred that begged her to just end it all. The more she rose up out of the ashes, the worse it hurt.

Forced to meet his gaze, Khiara's eyes swirled amidst the gold and violet of her emotional wreckage, the gold becoming less with each word. He was bringing her back, and it ached. The young woman hated herself, but Goddess she wanted to be okay again. As Vanator squeezed her hand, the brunette broke like so much shattered glass. Dissolving, Khiara broke into painful sobs, hugging her arm around herself. There would be strange looks from other patrons as she cried, but the woman couldn't help it. A wash of emotions took over her and she felt like she had died.

"Goddess Vanator, I can't do this anymore. I can't go on alone." Meeting his gaze again, she shook her head, eyes terrified.

"If he dies, if Vsenri dies..." Her words dissolved into vani, aching and unrecognisable. The young woman couldn't even express the thin line she stood on. There was Khiara, the woman Vanator knew. And there was the other, shattered and defeated and unwilling to go on. The frostmarch was her last grip on everything. Even if Vanator came here, sent by his wife none the less...what good would it do when Vsenri died? When she left, or Vanator and Kashik left, she would be alone again. It hurt just to breathe.

[Vanator]

Vanator watched Khiara fall apart. His heart ached for her as she sobbed uncontrolled, as she voiced her utter despair, wracked with hopelessness. The Dyrkas frowned, slipping off his chair to kneel next to the weeping Vanthan, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. It disturbed him to see the woman so shattered and distraught. Van's sisters were right about him. He was compelled to try to fix everyone's situation. It was a blessing and a curse, and something he could not help. He loved Khiara, he could not deny it, and he wanted nothing more than to help her. And, admitting to himself, he wanted to be near her. "Kavala is my sister, I know she is very good at what she does, if anyone can help Vsenri, she can. And I am here now, and I won't leave you." Van encouraged, looking up to notice the attention the two human's had attracted from the Akalak patrons. He needed to get her out of this place, get her some fresh air, go someplace where they could talk. The horseman turned back to speak softly in Khiara's ear. "Khiara, I will not let you lose yourself, you will not have to do this alone. Come with me, please, just come with me." He tightened his hug around her, offering to help her up. If she was willing, Vanator would lead her by the hand out of the tavern and into the cooling night air. He had seen a small park on his way in, a more fitting setting for their reunion.