Pages of Pandaemus

[Pandaemus]

[Pandaemus]

10th of Fall, 513 A.V.

I have recently arrived at Sahova. The island is a dreary place of undeath. I feel far from any normalcy of my past. The stress is getting to me. Old fears combined with new fears, and never someone to talk to. I am utterly alone in the world, surrounded by others like me.

I have to wait until the fortieth to take a test where the Sahovans will decide if I am worthy. Worthy of what though? An eternity pouring over old tomes? Will the thrill of life slowly drain, and if so what will it leave in it's wake? A doom lingers over my mind at all times. I have fallen from my path. Thanks to Thanadoros I fear I will never be what I was meant to be…


Uldr has his grasp on my soul. I have lived in dread of him for years. It was always a close thing, a shadow in the corner of my mind. Growing up with a nuit made it that way, but now it is my entire existence. Will he come for me? Will I have the will to deny him? I fear… I fear I won't. I fear so much that I know not what courage is. I am a coward given an eternity to dwell on my cowardice. Gods protect my soul...

[Pandaemus]

41st of Fall, 513A.V.

I have passed my judgement! The Sahovan Wizards said, grudgingly, that I 'had a passable skill'. So now I begin the rest of my existence here, on the Isle of the Dead. I can feel the stress ebbing away. Most of it was due to this test. So much hung on this test that my mind would dwell on it. And the insomnia, or whatever it is! Death his sapped so much of my existence I don't know how to deal with it. It is always on my mind.

I am desperate for a break from consciousness. Sleep, dreams of better places and happy times are what I crave. I feel like an addict without his drug. I don't know what this place has in store for me, but I hope it will distract me from my loss...

[Pandaemus]