Closed No Time for Logic (Mirage)

[Matthew]

79th of Fall, 513AV. His head was bleeding. He could feel the blood dripping from it, down the side of his face and off the slope of his chin. His head was ringing, and when he tried to understand exactly why he was in such pain, the ringing only became that much louder. The harlot tried to suck in a breath, but it came accompanied by more pain, causing him to further regret his choice. A quick glance around made him realize his vision was blurred, but he soon came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter. Judging by the dirt underneath his clenching fingers and the strain on his arms, along with the fact that his body felt like it was hanging slack... he was probably teetering off the edge of some sort of cliff and barely hanging on with his fingertips. So perhaps he had somehow slipped and fallen? He risked a glance down, seeing an ocean of blurry blue. That's right, he had been in the Wildlands. So what sequence of events had led him here? Something in his arm throbbed and his mind quickly began to put even more pieces of the puzzle together. He wasn't badly injured, just very shocked. He was also running out of strength and starting to slip. He tried to tug himself up, but his body was oddly weak. He grimaced, straining, only managing to dig his fingers deeper into the dirt before he began to slip again. Matthew, don't let her fall! Hold on! We are almost there! The voice echoed from deep within his memories, something he hadn't heard in a very long time. The voice had been wrong then, and it was still wrong now. He couldn't hold on. He was going to fall before anyone reached him. If only he didn't have this weight... ...Matthew? Matthew! Matthew, what are you doing?! Stop, don't let her go- His body fell into empty air, and he briefly wondered if his sister had felt this incredibly weightless when she had been falling. Was he going to die, like she had? Perhaps he could apologize to her, if Lhex let him. Even if it had been the right choice to let her die, he still felt sorry for doing it. He hoped she understood. Briefly smiling to himself, he let his eyes flutter closed before his body painfully struck the ocean. He must not have been that high up if the impact hadn't killed him. Not that it mattered. There was a current, the current was pulling him, and suddenly he was under the water. This was all very familiar. He had nearly drowned because of a random rip current when he had went out to save Sagitta. Back then the ocean had just tossed him ashore. As water filled him up and blackness crept up on his mind, he faintly realized how unconcerned he was right now. Did he really not care for life that much? It shouldn't be this easy for him. It wasn't that he didn't care. He wasn't depressed... he just didn't- The darkness swept over him. ~ -really see a point in panicking about the inevitability of Lhex's judgement. The final piece of his last segment of though exploded through his mind, and Matthew realized he was still whole. Blue eyes flashed open, soaking and torn clothes flexed as Matthew's body violently heaved, and water burst from somewhere deep inside of him and shot from his throat. He emptied his stomach, and then dry heaved for good measure. Even while heaving, his mind took a quick measure of his condition. Aching beyond belief, a bit bloodied and torn, and sick to the stomach. But alive? Lhex had amused himself with Matthew for a few brief seconds before growing bored, it seemed. Or perhaps Dira was the one who had done the toying? He had no idea. He finished unloading his stomach of sea water and rolled over onto his back, gulping in air. He'd figure out what to do next after he had a moment to rest. Just a short moment.

[Mirage]

"For every moment you waste, another cries with grief that it was not given to them."

The world seemed to slow around Matthew. The sounds of waves lapping upon the shore fading to a dull roar, what little wind there was no longer blowing. When he opened his eyes he would see the sky above was clear, night having come suddenly and stars sparkling happily over head. Those points of light seemed to revolve in a slow circle, as if the very ground were moving beneath him.

"Time, once gone, can never be recovered again. Each tick, every chime is a gift that should be used to its fullest. Time should never be wasted."

A woman walked along a line of trees, her gown long and flowing, dark as the night sky, clinging to her like smoke, yet throughout it stars sparkled, like midnight had presented itself to be worn by this unearthly figure. Her hair was pure white, her eyes old yet she did not appear to be beyond her middle years. Her lips did not smile, but neither did it frown as she looked down at Matthew from the distance. The train of her robes fell into the distance, meeting the horizon to become a part of the sky once more.

The woman inclined her head slightly, "I see regrets in your past, but these you cannot change. What has now passed down the river cannot be recovered, no matter how much you wish it to be. How will you use the time you have left Matthew...?"

[Matthew]

Blue eyes narrowed at the thing, Matthew slightly sitting up from his prone position, a feeling of aphrehension flooding through his veins. Aphrehension and... anger? No, not anger. He had nothing to be angry about. Something put him on edge though, and he instantly felt on his guard around the thing. It made him defensive, even if he had no reason to be. He didn't like that lack of control and logic over his emotions. ...It? Thing? She is a woman, Matthew. The harlot silently corrected himself, his stare hardening as he watched the 'woman'. No she wasn't. He knew what a woman was, and even if this one looked like one, she didn't feel like one. She didn't seem to be looking at him, and it was hard to look at her. Her robes were too long to be real, and she blended with the night much too well. Night? Matthew blinked, breaking his defiant stare to glance around. When had it turned to night? Somewhere deep inside of him, beneath a calm and cold layer of ice, his logic trembled. None of this made sense, not even if he took magic into consideration. His mind blurred as the wheels turned, his lips blowing out a grunt as he slowly sat his pained body up. He still felt defiant, and before he knew it, words were tumbling from his lips. Hoarse words coming from a salted throat, though his polite tone was still somehow there. "Who are you?" Regrets, she said? He thought back to the memories that had sprung up when he had been falling. Did he have regrets? Should he have regrets? It had been either him or his sister. Was it so wrong for him to have acted with basic survival instinct? His eyes grew distant for a moment, and then he glanced back to the thing, once more feeling some sort of... emotion welling up in him. It wasn't just defiance. Was there fear mixed in? Was he afraid of the unknown? "I don't know." He answered honestly, eyes trying to find and hold her own. "Perfecting the art of bedding women, perhaps. Do you wish to buy my wares?" There was a tone of arrogance that he managed to get under control at the last second. He was turning into an animal, letting natural impulses affect his words. He had responded to fear defensively, and spoke aggressively. How sloppy of him. His head tilted upwards a bit, eyes slowly moving from her to examine the sky. Were the stars moving, or was the ground moving? Neither made sense.

[Mirage]

e
The woman laughed, a good natured laugh, "Though your skills are great, Matthew Wayne, I am afraid your wares are not so grand as to pleasure a Goddess." From the foggy robes she produced what looked like a small card, which she held between her hands and read from, "Matthew Waynes, human aged 25. Professional Escort Services. Your skills include intimacy, seduction and cuddling." She paused and look at the man, "Now that is not really a skill is it? And if you must list it, does that mean your clients would not know of it unless they were told?"

She shrugged and folded her hands at her waist, turning to look at Matthew. The card had mysteriously vanished from her hands, "You have indeed bed quite the large selection of women over the years. Even one of Ionu's precious Inverted, on the 40th of this Summer I believe? Some might say your work is impressive, but I have a different question in mind." In a blink the woman was already walking past Matthew, testing the water with her bare toes, eyes on the ripples her contact with the liquid made, "Why do you do it? Why have you chosen this path, the life of a lover who never truly finds love?" She looked up at Matthew with eyes far older than her looks, older than the oldest scholar in Syliras. Impossibly old eyes that knew more than could even be possible.
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[Matthew]

His eyes narrowed further, if at all possible. They were now thin slits of blue, a bad habit pushed to the extreme at the frustrating presence of the thing in front of him. He had worked very hard on that business card, and he had thought the bit about cuddling was a good addition to a rather formal advertisement. People liked a bit of humor he thought, so he had given it a try. Granted, he wasn't that great at humor, but he was pretty sure he had seen a few of his customers crack a smile. "Good cuddling does take skill, thank you. Have you ever experienced good cuddling? I pride myself on my skill and research. Also, a lot of customers come expecting a simple prostitute. I like to offer more services than just sex." This time his voice was quiet and professional, but there was a certain stiffness to it. Whoever the thing was, it was managing to get under his skin, and he absolutely hated that. He wasn't aware that he even had skin to get under, at least when it came to something like this. It had been so long since he had felt blazing annoyance and irritation struggling against his cold control. Even worse, she seemed to be amused by it. If he was going to act completely out of character and be snarky, he would hope it would at least have some sort of effect. But no, it rolled off her like a fog on a pond. Now the card was gone. She was full of tricks. He hated these cryptic sort of puzzles. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself, letting the wheels in his head turn. Process the situation calmly, and respond in a calculated manner. Auristics He reached for his magic, but something caused him to pause. He hadn't quite processed it when she had said it the first time. Goddess? In the blink of an eye she was gone, teasing him with knowledge that she shouldn't know. His head jerked from side to side to try and find her, and then his body spun as her voice came from behind him. The harlot couldn't help but smile, but not out of humor. He wasn't so sure what it was. Goddess, she had said. He was no fool. Thing, not she. His mind corrected his thoughts, but he ignored the correction. She looked like a she, and he would go off of that for now. He was overthinking it. Anyways, she had asked a question. He answered softly, his voice finally professional and under control. "To understand. To learn. To associate with the lost and lonely on a day to day basis, and understand their desperate need for physical pleasure and intimacy. It is but one of many things to learn, and my physical features help place me in the profession. Knowledge is knowledge, no matter if it is prostitution or blacksmithing." The last part of her sentence had thrown him off a bit. A lover who never truly finds love? He still didn't understand love, and his desire to was purely educational. "How do you know so much about me? And if you are a Goddess, why are you here? What are you a Goddess of?" The harlot was still skeptical of the Goddess statement, but he had nothing to go on. He paused, hating to ask the next question, but plagued with the overwhelming curiosity that forced him to pose it anyways. "Do you have an idea on how to improve my business card?" His curiosity was pure, and unfiltered. Had she just been teasing him, or had there been an actual idea somewhere in there? Every time they made eye contact though, he knew. He knew that she knew. She knew everything, it seemed. He still refused to be sucked in. Logic was his lifeline, and if that was cast away, what else would remain?

[Mirage]

Whether or not the woman accepted his answers was not clearly seen in her mannerisms. Her eyes were once more on the water, her toes dipping into the cool lapping waves, "Do you hide your emotions, or do you look for them?" She asked suddenly without looking up, "I know many things Matthew. I know the answer to many questions asked in this world. I know why the sun rises and falls. I know why life begins and death comes. I know the face of true evil, and the hands of true good. I know the eyes of someone who seeks retribution, and those that search for salvation. I know a heart that is lost, a mind that searches, and a soul that yearns to be acknowledged for what it truly is." She looked up at Matthew, "I know a man who acts for others, but lies to himself."

Walking slowly along the bank the woman passed Matthew once more, her eyes downcast on the waves but slowly lifted to look at the slowly rotating stars above, "A warning Matthew Waynes. Should you look upon me with your magic your life will end. Human eyes were never meant to look at a being like me. You know who I am Matthew. I am all around you, I guide you on your course down the river. I am the hand that pushes forward your life, and hastens your death. I turn the clock to the next tick, the next chime, the next bell. I am the mother of the seasons, guider of the moon and sun, balancer of life and death. Companion to Fate."

The woman raised her hand and over the horizon the sun began to rise, the moon sinking on the opposite shore. The trees began to lose their leaves, and in their place new blossoms formed as the sun and moon rotated over head, over and over again, "I am Tanroa, Goddess of Time, and as with all things I have been watching you Matthew Waynes. You are like a single leaf trapped in the flow of the river heading down to the end. I am she who floats above this river, who can see the twist and turns it will, and will not, take. I know who you were, who you are, and..." She leveled a knowing gaze at Matthew, "Who you will become."

The world stopped moving, and once more Matthew found himself on the bank with the woman, the time as it had been before, "And who are you, Matthew Waynes? Why are you here?"

[Matthew]

The irritation faded, overpowered by intense thought. Did he hide them, or did he look for them? He had never had the question posed to him, but he instinctively knew the answer. "I look for them. I do not miss them. I still feel, I just don't think I feel as strong. I don't understanding the feelings of others. I don't understand certain emotional concepts. I understand that it is different, but it does not feel bad. Sometimes it feels good, even. But I do wonder, why am I different? What happened in my life that made me into this? I simply want to learn, just like I wish to learn everything else." He answered as truthfully as he could, though he was not completely sure of the answer himself. When she looked at them though, when she warned him about his magic, when she proclaimed who and what she was... his jaw clenched. It wasn't irritation, or fear. He had felt those earlier and now they were distant and grey, as if he had run out of his limited supply of the emotions for the time being. It was liberating. Now that he was past that, he could actually function. The world shifted over and over, the seasons moving by in the blink of an eye. He kept his eyes steady on Tanroa, the whole experience feeling surreal. It was beyond shock and amazement. She had broken laws he held dear, and now reality seemed so... unreal. Now his only anchor was the sickness in his stomach. He found himself wishing that she would stop the ride she was taking him on. It made him want to empty bile onto the ground. She seemed to sense this of course, and soon the world slowed, returning to something that felt much more real to the harlot. He still needed a moment to gather his wits however, and spent a few ticks just studying her. She was incredibly hard to study. She was standing still, yet something about her seemed to keep shifting. When his voice responded, it was found the soft and polite tone that it normally had, with each word pronounced carefully and precisely. "I am headed to Sunberth to learn. I had originally been traveling with two companions, but we were separated. I am just a man who wonders about the world, Tanroa-" Her name slipped out, his mind finally accepting it. How could he not, with time flying by at her whim? It could be an Illusion, but he doubted that look in her eye was any feat of Ionu. "-and that is all. I wonder about it with an unbiased mind, and I am curious to see where it leads." His feet moved, Matthew distantly surprised that he was able to walk. "I don't like you." He paused, moving closer in an attempt to see her clearer. "That is incorrect, I apologize. I do not like the concept of what you and Lhex stand for. Life seems so very meaningless if I am a leaf floating along a path. My end is defined and my fate is clear, my story already written. No matter how much knowledge I seek to learn, I will only ever find what has already been decided. I do not like this." He was sure she had heard it all before, but he had to say it. He doubted he would ever have the chance to say it to her face again. "Are you traveling to Sunberth as well? I would like to come with you. I will not last long in the Wilderness." Almost immediately after saying it, a feeling of stupidity flashed in the back of his mind. The Goddess of Time was probably not taking a stroll through the woods to Sunberth. He was having a hard time treating her different than any other person, even though she clearly was. Divinity and religion took new meaning when it was presented in the flesh.

[Mirage]

e
Tanroa almost smiled, but she looked away instead, gazing into the waters once more, "You are not the first to say such things to me, and I am sure Lhex has heard much the same, though I doubt it matters to him." She walked farther in the water, wading in to her ankles, "But what those trapped in the river of time do not see is that their path has many forks, many turns and passages which they may, or may not, take. I exist above this flow, and from where I stand I can see the most likely path that they shall take. It is, as always, entirely up to the person to get to their own desired end. For good or ill each person makes their own decisions and their own path. That is why I have followers, to help me guide some special individuals whose end path may very well affect a lot more than they even realize."

She was standing a few feet out from the bank, the water flowing past at her ankles. If Matthew tried to go out there as well he would find the water quickly rose above his shins and waist. The Goddess looked back over her shoulder at Matthew, "To me it sounds as if you question many things. Who and what you are, why you have come to be as you are. That drive for knowledge may one day be your downfall, or perhaps the one thing that saves you." She turned to look fully at the man once more, "I am going to the city of thieves myself very soon, but not quite yet. There is still much to do. Do not worry Matthew Waynes, you will arrive at the city, safe as you may be. There is something you must do there."

She began walking across the water to stand before Matthew once more, somehow she managed to look down at him despite before when she had been just the smallest big shorter, "Our meeting was not one of chance, but it was meant to be, for I have a message for you. It is your decisions whether you wish it or not, but I offer it to you all the same. It is the smallest glimps into your own future, and may change the path you walk forever. If you do not wish to carry this burden then simply say and all of this," She held her arm up, indicating the strange situation in which Matthew found himself, "Will disappear, as though it had never happened. It will all fade to something like a dream, and you will eventually forget it even happened. Should you accept you will risk changing your future, for good or for ill."

Folding her hands at her waist the woman looked calmly at Matthew, her eyes wise, old, and powerful, "Right now you hold the power of time in your hands. My power. Choose either to accept the course of time how it is, or choose to change it. What is your decision...?"
e

[Matthew]

Matthew honestly doubted it mattered to any of them. The way things were wouldn't change just because a few mortals complained. Perhaps there was even a good reason for why those things were the way that they were. The deities likely had a level of intellect that was on a higher level than mortals, so they could probably understand more than Matthew ever could. That didn't stop him from disliking it though. Even if there were multiple paths, all of those paths were still planned. Did the paths account for every possibility that could ever happen? Or did they still limit him? He chewed his lower lip, knowing that too much thought into this particular topic would not end well. It would be an endless debate warring in his own mind. He was quick to follow her, and quick to find out that the shore was not actually a shore to him. His nose wrinkled as just the slightest bit of frustration shivered through him again, but he pushed it down easily. Uncomfortable with the height that the water reached, he soon headed back to shore, clothes dripping. He felt like she was playing little pranks on him throughout this entire conversation. She didn't look amused, though. He stood at the bank, watching her closely, absorbing every word she spoke. He had something to do here? He tilted his head at her, curious, but not putting the obvious question to words. No doubt she already knew he would ask it, and no doubt she would answer it either way. By the time she came up to him and loomed above him, he was no longer surprised. She had almost completely drained him of surprise. His world no longer followed the natural order of things. In a sense, Tanroa defined the natural order of things. So, a choice. The river that he floated along in was now branching off. She had accounted for both, he had no doubt. She had seen both. He was tempted to ask which path was better, for she would know. But he didn't want to be guided by her in this. It needed to be his decision as much as it possibly could. "You keep calling me Matthew Waynes." The words echoed out, soft and distant, his eyes trying to match hers again. It was hard to stare into something that contained what her own contained. "You see me, don't you. All of me. All of me that ever existed in this moment, or that will exist in this moment. All at once." He considered for a moment longer, but he knew his decision was made. He had already lost something in his mind, so very long ago. It was there but he couldn't find it. He searched sometimes, but he didn't know if he would ever stumble upon it. He didn't want to experience that again. He didn't want to forget, and feel like some other part of himself had been lost. Part of him felt that if he ever forgot that he had simply lost something, then he would cross a line. He would truly be different, and have no way of going back. Did he even want to go back, though? "I choose to change it. Please show me what you desire for me to see." Did she desire it? Or did she not care? This played into a scheme greater than he knew, no doubt. He would soon see how it played out.

[Mirage]

Tanroa extended a hand toward Matthew, "Then take my hand, and I will show you a glimpse into the tides to come."

As Matthew closed his hand around the woman's the world around him would fade, becoming transparent and distant, but the Woman remained a fixed point, clear and undistorted. She guided him as they walked, now side by side, sown a single path that cut through the center of what looked like an endless sea. Water cascaded from the clear white sky above, collecting by the hundreds in the body of water they now tread, flowing into one singular mass. Closer inspection of this 'sea', however, would reveal that there was a clear separation between different currents. One could see some currents flowing together, others separating and joining again, some splitting off and still others that coursed along side one another yet never touched, "What you see is time as your mind can understand it. Tides of memories and experiences, flowing together, interacting and affecting one another. This is how all mortals see the world. They see all of these interactions as they happen in the present, but pay little mind to how their past actions, and future decisions, can change their own current." Matthew would see the world shift until he was standing over it all, though he still felt as though his feet had never left the ground. They now looked down over the tides, and now he could see rivers that branched and intertwined, forming pools with other rivers, which fell into new waterfalls, which branched and intertwined and flowed and combined, pooling and falling in an endless pattern of interactions that at times would twist back in on itself, "This is how I perceive time, to a degree. I can see all the branches, the where and when of every event and every person. I see where they began, where they are, and where they may end up. However, there are times when the events of someone's life can cause their current to change, to become different from what it was before, to take a new path." Tanroa pointed at a river that flowed closer to them. It flowed directly into a pool where 3 other rivers met, but before their eyes it shifted, the connection breaking as the river's flow was redirected, not interacting with either of the other two streams. There was a faint trail, like little droplets, that showed where they river had once flowed, "Now there is only a reminder of what could have been, instead of what was. All that you see here changes as every person creates and forges their own path. I oversee it all, and I watch over all within my domain."

They floated back down to the path once more, but during all of this they did not stop walking, "I do not interfere in the affairs of mortals unless it is strictly necessary. The ripples caused by changing the flow of time could have lasting, and very drastic, effects on the world. But other times where events to be may be changed, for better or for worse, and it is at these times that I offer to a very select few the chance to change their own destiny, and perhaps the destiny of many others in the process. That is why we have met Matthew Waynes." The stopped before a waterfall that was no different from all the rest, but Tanroa raised a hand as if to caress it, looking back at her Follower, "This is your future Matthew. Just a glimpse, but I hope it will give you what you need."

She stepped into the falling wanter, pulling Matthew along with her. Visions flashed before him, in rapid succession. People and places he had not seen yet, voices he felt he knew but could not recognize. Feelings he wasn't sure he had ever had. All quick, gone before he could fully grasp onto any of them, until suddenly it was gone. They stood now on what looked like docks, the sounds of the ocean filling the salty air. Tanroa still held his hand, but her eye were on another. There, just a few feet away, was Matthew himself. His clothing a bit different, time wearing on him slightly, but still very much him. He was walking fast down the docks, as if he were following someone.

"In the coming spring, someone will cross your path. You will bear witness to an event that will help shape the lives of countless innocents." A sailor shouted at his crew, waving his hands as a large crake swung out of control, crashing against the side of the boat and landing in the water with a loud splash. The other Matthew paused, looking toward the sound, eyes as if he were remembering something. His pace then quickened, pushing him around the corner into an alley.

"You will be given a choice that will either bring about a great good, or an unspeakable evil. You will save hundreds of lives, or kill thousands. You will bring peace, or you will bring war." She looked down at Matthew, her eyes sad, "This day will come very soon, and then we will meet again." Her eyes rose, looking past Matthew into the distance. Down an alley to their left stood Matthew once more. He slowly raised one hand, and waved, but he was too far away to see his expression.

The world became transparent, turing white as Tarnoa's hand slipped from Matthew's, "Do not forget what you have seen... Do not forget the choice that you will make. Search for your own heart Matthew. In your journey, you will find the answer you seek."

*****

Matthew would wake up on the bank where it all began. The sun was beginning to set now, and there was no sign of the Goddess. It could have been a dream, a delusion perhaps. A ways up the bank, closer to the tree line, Matthew would find one of his own business cards. On the back, in light script, was written a slight revision:

"Matthew Waynes
Professional Escort Services

Gentleman, Lover, Fulfiller of Fantasies."