Closed [Tent City] Mental Haze and Foggy Days

[Fallon]

34th Spring 514 AV

It was warm, the distant background buzzing pressing against her mind. A canopy of darkness, the gentle rise and fall of breathing serving as some soothing dream. Lips gave a twitch, shoulders rolling as they shifted and pressed against the floor. Far from intrusive, it was gentle, the loose hold of fingers gripping onto fabric and the exhale. On occasion the brow pinched slightly, a flickering change of expression as it eased off once more. Beyond the cocoon and canvas, the world begun to emerge into the spring haze and the rolling morning mists that basked the land into a cool white. But that was not of the concern of the slumbering.

Images flickered to and fro in her mind, lids twitching as the quick still frames of life replayed over as she surfaced. There was movement again, toes wriggling, the cheek pressing against the surface as she inhaled in. Legs were curled up, still bare and exposed from before and tangled up within the layers. There was another shift of weight, the muffled groan as she pressed in, nuzzling almost whatever she had cuddled up to. It probably was Orvin, was the belief of distant mumblings of disorientated thought.

The joints stretched out, tendons straining and the low trembling purr escaped. Slow, sluggish, Fallon breathed. Her arms moved snaking their way round, the moment of tensing and then loosening as she clung. Yes, it was comfortable – the steady rocking of breathing, the rise and fall working its way into rhythm. There was a pause, a blink of colours and the dull shades of the blanket marring her vision. A second quickly followed, a blur of sleep filling her gaze.

There was a second moan, and the eyes returned to being closed. The world beyond could wait for a little while longer, there was no rush after all. Hands wriggled, responding to the subtle movements as she squirmed. And it was only perhaps then that thought begun to properly stir. Orvin was never this slim, was he? Nor lacking in hide. Lips came together in a gentle purse, and the hand gave a gentle pat, the tips tracing whatever her head was lying on. No, it definitely was not fur.

A bleary eye opened once more, a slow roll up to beyond the folds of the blanket that covered her and then back down. In honesty she could not really tell what she was looking at – let alone what it exactly was. The hand continued to trace forward, snaking its way upwards along the length, the tips occasionally tapping and feeling – light, gentle and full of curiosity. It wriggled out from beneath the blanket, a pause as it was exposed to the cooler air the digits flexing in experimentation and then promptly returned to the feeling.

Her head, regardless continued to press against whatever it was. There was a pinch, the hand pausing as it located a soft rise, her blurred mind sluggishly working out what exactly it was after the previous expanse of relative flat. The thumb gave a rub, a gentle chew upon her lip as she continued to feel. A squeeze and a probe as she traced the thumb up and then back down – the sleep filled cogs ticking over. Humming she opened the other eye to take in the canopy of blanket above her head. No, she still was not planning on moving out of her comfortable niche just yet.

What is that? she raised a brow, and wriggled the other hand up. For a chime there was a wriggle as it fought to get through the layers, the bubbling sense of curiosity filling her. At first it met the partner hand, and then with a gentle wriggle it continued its slide over the little finger finding a second bump. There was a pause and a nod when the mind accepted that there were indeed two of them and thus the exploration continued. Fingers gave a trace, the tips sliding down then back up, and then promptly stopped to draw tiny circles of thought, Kind of soft, nice, almost like… wait a damn chime.

Hands pressed and remained in place, her arms stretching out as she forced herself to sit up. With the blanket knocking back and down her shoulders, and the mess of bed hair marring her vision Fallon released a huff. Hair rose, the tired eyes blinking to the face of the woman who was lying sprawled out on the bed roll with her, down the neck to the hands and then finally down to the breasts she had managed to cup. There was a sniff, a pause, and then her eyes once more repeated the movement – fixing themselves this time upon the present target. And then the copper finally dropped.

Fallon turned red. Her mouth opened a few times, a state of shock and embarrassment having taken over – and froze her in place. Eyes ogled, her head tilting to one side as she tried to form some coherent words in an attempt to compose herself. And when she finally did speak, it came as a croak, ”Morning Zandelia!”

[Zandelia]

The dream began as all of her dreams recently had, in the darkness and shadows of her soul where the bitterness and rage pooled acidly. It had been a recurring one of late as she sold herself to gain her own ambitions, her mind focused upon one singular goal – to kill Markus Sansom her non-father. She was within herself, or her mental perspective of herself and she reclined upon a plush divan as the pools bubbled around her. The colours were strange though, purple for the wrath and a sickly sweet yellow for the bitterness. Channels cut between the pools and the liquids flowed through them to turn into a thick tarry substance, black in colour, that congealed here and there in the web around her. It was soon apparent to her that this dream was in fact a nightmare however as the congealed masses formed into giant beasts and converged upon her.

She couldn’t move her legs, pins and needles wracked them and she held no weapons to defend herself with. She wore the dress of the night before, the cursed garment of flimsy flaxen fabric that had been her only shield to her body from the lechers in the brothel. It tore open easily and she was nude, helpless and the monsters invaded her mouth and nose – plunging into her as her eye widened and she blacked out.

Her eye opened upon a vista of jagged rocks and deep crevices. Fire bloomed randomly from various openings and Grubber stood amongst it all. She growled and within an instant she was clothed, armoured and weapons were in her hands as she ran towards him. The soft whispers grew louder within her, filling her with the hate she used as motivation. She screamed to drown them out but when she struck out with her tonfa Grubber was gone and in his place a wall of flame ripped through her.

This, Zandelia, is all you have to look forwards to. You may kill me but you will die yourself. I promise you that… the voice echoed, the voice of her father.

Now she was in her tent, bedding beneath her and she was blindfolded so that she couldn’t see. Her ankles and wrists were bound and panic tore through her and she struggled against her bonds. They didn’t budge, they weren’t rope or metal. Whatever they were they were stronger and held her fast. She lay there, panting as small hands moved up her – prodding and probing every so often. There seemed to be so many and they were all tapping in unison. Her legs numbed once more and feeling from the waist down began to fade. Then there were only one pair left and they began the upwards journey. Her breathing quickened as they ended cupping her breasts and then the dream ended.

“Morning Zandelia” the croaked words caused her eyelids to flutter and she shook her head mutely as she tried to process what in the Hai was going on.

She opened her eye properly then and pinched her brow with a frown, her age showed in the mornings with the lethargic nature and the aches of bones growing in age. She groaned deeply in her throat as she cast her hand behind her head to use as a better pillow than the floor it was currently resting upon. She looked up at Fallon, eye meeting eyes and then felt the sensation of pressure upon her chest, light and gentle. Her gaze travelled down the woman’s shoulders and arms and inevitably finished in those cupped hand. Puzzlement flickered through her eye before it turned to amusement and a slither of desire.

“Having fun are we Fallon? Next time could you wake me up before you start the dance, it’s more enjoyable that way. But my you do know how to wake a girl in the morning” she grinned, wondering whether she should push further than words – the previous evening had been difficult for both of them.

“But you shouldn’t put your hands there my dear, that’s far too vague. What you really need to do is get under them, support then for future activity” she moved the hands so that they were not resting atop of, but curling around, “see? You get much better purchase for your thumb and forefinger there” she asked with a roguish smile as she noted Fallon became even more flushed with embarrassment.

Delicious irony that I kiss her neck and she breaks down but then wake up in this position she told herself as she looked into those eyes once more.

“So, what were we doing today?” she asked simply as if she were perfectly at ease.

She wasn’t of course, her heart was racing a little faster and in some ways she herself was embarrassed at the tableaux but she was damned if she was going to show it. She had been let into Fallon’s world, just a little. In return Fallon was let into hers and she was used to her teasing – after a fashion.

[Fallon]

Fallon was still stiff as a board, and remained so as Zandelia came too properly. There was a sharp inhale, a blink as the woman firstly frowned and released a groan. Pleasure or annoyance? It did not matter as the weight begun to shift, the look of perplexity forming on her face – whilst Fallon’s own dipped into that of terror. She could not tell what was coming next, the turn of half awake cogs stunting her when she needed them to operate. Her mouth opened as if to say something, to try and seek the moment to explain herself. That it was all perfectly innocent and that the wrong idea should not be presumed.

The woman however, managed to obviously align her thoughts first. The amusement rolled up, and Fallon shrunk into herself. Timid, nervous, a wonder on what exactly was coming for her next. Eyes met the grin, the crawling sensation of being caught animal within a trap – and Zandelia was, alas, the hunter. She managed to swallow, skin prickling as the words finally begun to register if not delayed behind a series of translating blinks.

”No! No no no… Of course not!” came the squeaking objection. Eyes were wide, cheeks ablaze as she tried to think through the words with some clarity. Lips moved again, the rising up of rejection forming in her throat yet being stuck there. It probably did her no justice with the fact her hands were still stuck in position and showed no immediate sign in moving. The curse of forming words, the rest of her became physically unable of doing anything else.

More so first thing in the morning.

Jests aside, she was correct on it was indeed one way to wake up in the morning. Not that it seemed to be doing much good for the health of Fallon. Her voice managed to find itself, and quickly she looked to correct herself, ”It’s not what it looks like. I swear it isn’t. I mean, I thought you were Orvin. And you wasn’t. And I got curious. And then confused. And then my hands got your breasts and the-“ she silenced herself, face screwing up into a wince. Fallon released a whisper, ”Please don’t be angry.”

Not that she seemed particularly. If anything it was quite the opposite – she was encouraging it instead. Hands were guided, teasingly almost as her own embarrassments turned and twisted within. It snagged up in a knot, a hard lump that would not budge no matter how much she willed it so. Cheeks flushed, a moment of resistance as the digits were pressed into place. Zandelia, an intelligent fiend who was encouraging such behaviour. What had she gotten into bed with? Literally.

”Wait! What you doin- Huh… you’re right it does…” there was a moment of musing, her eyes lighting up in a strange fascination. There was a gentle squeeze, a brow raised in surprise as she looked upon her hands. Head cocking to one side, the momentary sense of insecurity seemed to be drained away, only to be replaced by a rather obvious curiosity. There was a lean in, a closer inspection as the thumb traced the edge. Even a low mumble of thought fell from her lips, ”Kind of… soft. Yet… really fir-“

The expression turned sullen as the nature of the situation once more dawned upon her. With a heavy sigh, she stared out from beneath her brow the burning glint resting within her gaze. The eye lid twitched, her lips pursing into a forced line as she sucked in the air. The pulse quickened, thoughts buzzing round looking for the answer of a decision.

”Gods damn it woman. Far too early in the morning for this!” her hands snapped up and away, lifting clear from the scene and in plain sight of the pair of them. Her form pulled away after that, a fluster of incoherent words as she became animated. Untangling herself from the woman Fallon crawled away, limbs still trying to awaken themselves her hands clawing for her trousers and then pulling them over. There was a petty glare in response, a sharp inhale as the childish frustration escaped as she wriggled her form into a better state of decency. With a huff and a shudder, the mercenary gave only a single nod and then promptly continued, ”Today? Today we are…”

Pausing she looked about the tent for an idea, Orvin was still fast asleep and showing no signs of stirring any time soon, her equipment was lying about partially discarded still and the embers of the brazier had long since gone out. The dry taste still hung in her mouth, her lips smacking as she begun to feel the gnawing hunger clench at her insides. Eyes drifted quickly to the short bow and then finally back round to Zandelia. Fallon shrugged.

”I don’t know,” she admitted, ”I sort of cancelled out all the ideas when you asked me to meet you yesterday. Didn’t know how long I would be recovering for.” Fingers scratched at her jaw, and then pulled away. Spying the layer of grime beneath the nails she spoke once more, ”Didn’t you… uh… say something about soaking and getting clean?” And then she quickly corrected herself, ”Not that I mean it that way. I just. You know. I… I think I’m going to shut up now. You decide. Your leader orders it.”

[Zandelia]

Puzzlement did truly engulf her countenance at the babbled words, almost desperate and nervous in their tone. Twice now she had been almost invited by Fallon and twice the woman had shied away and this time she thought that she heard a trace of fear in the whisper, the wince told half of the story. Fallon was uncomfortable and bashful and yet she had still not move her hands, if anything there was an absent pressure being placed by accident. It was confusing and yet enjoyable. It was fun to be with the other woman, there was nothing concerning boredom and that was a first for her in the company of others.

“Well I am thankful that I have less hair at least,” she responded after a few moments, nodding and clearing her throat – the tension was palpable, “and I I am not angry. Far from it. Curiosity should be rewarded and now it has been” she continued as smoothly as she could.

The next few moments were spent in pure enjoyment, she watched the display of deep curiosity and analysis. Fallon was a strange woman, she didn’t just do things she had to think about them and know them for their entirety. It was an endearing trait that Zandelia was beginning to appreciate. However the appreciation at that precise moment merely came from the actions, the feeling and squeezing in experimentation. She shouldn’t be doing it to the poor girl, she was a terrible assistant but she didn’t care right then, instead closing her eye in sensation. It was brief but it had been there, that want to see more, and it was a treasure whilst it lasted.

What have I been thrown in with? Or rather who? Is this the real Fallon? Yes…it must be. Yet she is so different from the façade of Bitzer. Bitzer was strong, Fallon seems more distracted. Or perhaps it is just this moment. I will have to learn her anew, I think. Not a terrible prospect she told herself as she felt the hands snap back and into the gap between them.

“Yes, they are. I have always found them enjoyable. Still, you are right. The morning is not the best time for me either, far too old for them,” she groaned again as she heaved herself up and noted she was still wearing Fallon’s clothes – they would do for the day perhaps but she would wash them for her companion, “old bones and everything. Too many scars and old injuries. Perhaps later. By the gods woman you’ve squeezed me dry” she finished as she stretched herself out as best she could to ease the tired muscles.

She moved her legs to encourage the life and blood to return to them, the sensation bringing a wince or two to her face as the numbness was followed with a burning warmth that would soon abate but was painful at first. She watched the sullen look and the glare with a frown, it hadn’t been her whom had initiated the damned dance after all. She shrugged and let it go, it wasn’t worth arguing over and if it gave Fallon a sense of control then so be it. She’d rather not have a repeat of the past evening – the memories were still raw from both sides she suspected.

“Fallon…I like that name…but no. Don’t worry,” she placed a hand on her shoulder gently, “there’s nothing to be concerned over. I don’t think I could get angry at you even if you tried anyway she tried for soothing words and touch, they had worked before.

“Wait…you cancelled plans for me? Oh you…you…woman. You didn’t have to do that, I could have helped with yours too you know. Still….a bath would be appreciated. I think it is past overdue actually as you may have noticed” she sniffed herself and turned her head away in distaste.

She had noted the glance towards the Shortbow with curiosity. Had she planned on hunting perhaps? Zandelia was a terrible archer but she could at least help with it a little and try to improve her skills. She rubbed her jaw as she considered what they could do that day that was simple, easy and fun. They both needed it she knew – herself for a break and Fallon perhaps as an escape from what she had read and seen. She turned it over in her mind and knew that either way she would learn more of this woman and that was truly all she wanted out of the day.

“My leader commands it?” she asked with a sharp tone as if to argue before smiling, “very well…Mistress…then it is decided. I saw you look at your bow and I think that I need practise myself. Bathing, hunting, conversation and food. With you too. What could be better?” she slapped her thighs again as the life began to fully return and the pain eased off.

“But I am paying for it. I owe you and you have no way to argue as you put me in charge so there. Do you mind if I wear your clothes? I don’t fancy changing. I’ll wash them though,” she asked simply, “and first I think some breakfast is in order. This lip needs meat!” she felt it and winced.

The swelling had reached its fullest and she couldn’t see it but she supposed it was a bit bruised and blue. The cuts had stuck together now on the inside of her mouth but whether that would stay indefinitely she was not sure – mouth wounds were always so unpredictably long in their healing she had found.

“So, I think I saw food. Somewhere around here. Unless Orvin ate it” she muttered as her gaze swept around the detritus of the past evening, “help?” she pleaded to Fallon.

[Fallon]

There was a snort of defiance; the flare of the blush upon her cheeks as the hand met her shoulder. At present she could barely get a reading on the woman, her mind too busy buzzing to understand her own thoughts to put a gauge on the other. Was she enjoying the treatment? The movement of hands, the caressing of such parts. There was a snatch of a glance onto Zandelia, and a suck in of air as she brought the thoughts to the surface. So, Zandelia was unbothered by the actions of one woman to another. Pausing she exhale and gave only a definite nod in understanding. Right, that was different. Rolling her shoulders she returned her attention to the task at hand, ”Yes, I cancelled my plans. Mainly because I did not know what state I would be in by the end of that little of adventure. Deal with it. Wait, what, later?”

Blinking she listened to the suggestions made, her ears twitching to as she focused. A bath was a definite, that meant she had to get naked with the woman – or find some excuse to get away. She may have begun to let Zandelia in, but she was not about to let her all the way. Those scars, those memories. And as they had just come from Sahova – it was that worry of a connection forming swum her mind. There was another inhale, the air being sucked in as she cleared her mind. Calm, collect, bring the scattered thoughts to a focused point and begin the day. In and out, there was a second exhale rougher this time as she let the nagging thoughts out.

”What do you like about the name?” Fallon asked. There was an element of control there despite the remaining blush upon her cheeks. It was all falling into place, the mind slowly filtering out the morning fog of sleep and the cravings that went with it. Back straightening she rubbed her jaw, ”Sure but… wouldn’t it be better to go hunting first? I mean, it can be a messy business, and you can lay in the undergrowth for ages on end. It’s counterproductive don’t you think? So, I think, Hunting, conversation, bathing and food… as for better,” there was a nonchalant shrug, ”Well, having my own place to stagger back to would be nice. I mean, other than this tent.”

Standing, the mercenary brought her arms up and out to stretch. Muscles turned and rotated, tendons stretching out and joints clicking. There was a gentle flex of muscles, her eyes narrowing as she felt the twinges pinch and her thumb raise to meet them. Rubbing them she turned her gaze to the rest of the tent, her brow pinching with thought the low slapping noise as Zandelia willed life into her legs, ”I would much rather you wear my clothes than with nothing on at all. Or last night’s getup.”

Going over to her bag she gave a rummage – it was where most things were stored if she did not want Orvin getting hold of them. She really needed to think about expanding her options for storage – or lose a large portion of her supplies. Lips pursed, the shifting of articles as she released a hum of thought and continued her pulling out of things. Books came first, a gentle place down and beneath that the selection of strong rations. Tugging them out she waved them in the direction of the woman before passing them over, ”Strange. I thought your lips had tasted enough meat already.” There was a smirk; a subtle burn as the scene flickered in her head and then died down once more, ”Breakfast, yes. Seems like a plan. But before that I’m looking at your lip. No arguing. It looks like it needs a look at. Your leader commands that you cooperate to your fullest.”

Fallon continued to take things out, hands squirming until she managed to find the tool kit and spices. From there she located the salt and looked straight to the woman, ”We’re going to conduct an experiment.” Taking up one of the cups she slid back over – her fingers pinching the salt into the bottom whilst the other fumbled for the water skin. For a moment there was a pause, followed by a crouch before the woman the hand passing the cup to her and then filling it with water. Finger mixing the solution she gently took Zandelia by the chin and once more begun her careful study, ”Now. If I’m correct… apparently salt serves as a cleanser. Or at least, that is what I’ve been told. So… on that basis, let’s see if it’s bull shyke or not.”

She continued to sprinkle the salt in and mix it, only once looking up around the tent for a rag and claiming it. Quickly rising it through in pot, she squeezed the moisture out and returned her attention to the swelling. Dabbing the edge into the liquid she let it soak in, and then promptly applied it to the swelling. It was only after that she quickly said, ”By the way, this might hurt.”

Gently dabbing, she pulled it round so it brushed across the cut lip and wiped it off. Returning to the liquid she repeated the motion, a little firmer this time and a look of concentration smothering her. The other hand continued to guide the chin, tilting it around so she could get a better view and then finally she released the woman. Brushing her hands away, she took up the food rations – which was mainly a mixture of various dried stuffs - once more and offered them over, ”If it’s not that you want, I think I have currants and jerky about. Don’t know. Anyway, help yourself”

There was a moment of silence, her eyes glancing back to the snoring wolf whilst she picked at the supplies. For a tick she took the creature into consideration, her mind wondering slightly as to what to do with him. There was a flickering of the lips, her form rising up once more into standing as she moved about. Hands touched and claimed; the kukri and its belt being pulled tightly around her waist before she claimed the bow and arrows. There was a teasing pluck of the string, her brow meeting in focus as she studied the length of it and brought it over, ”So you know how to use a bow? How? I mean…” she tapped beneath her own eye in gesture, ”Got to make it difficult, right?”

Quiz time, came the thought of Fallon. Her time with it before may have been short – but she did try to learn the use of it to the best of her ability. A finger traced across the wood edge and down to the grip, and squirmed over it. Or at least until she remembered her gloves. The hunt for them started almost immediately. All the while however, Fallon continued to speak, ”You should take the cloak with you, just in case. Not sure what the weather is doing after all. And… well… what do you know about hunting? I’m only a novice at best. And let me know when you’re ready to make a move.”

[Zandelia]

Zandelia blinked, there was a moment in which the first words spoken were registered and at first she had nothing to answer them with. The working within her was two-fold – on the one hand filled with the idea of Fallon and what a night with her would be like, the other almost angry at the supposition that she would have endangered the other woman. She knew that it was perhaps not what had been meant but it strained her previous words that Fallon couldn’t annoy her. She considered it, circled the bubbling emotion within her and wondered if she were slowly becoming more volatile in her vengeance. Or perhaps it was the other woman, having a search light like her viewing her life was perhaps making her a little testy. She was about to retort when a memory saved her – those small eyes looking into her own and willing her to smile.

She really doesn’t know, or suspect…does she? She knows my name and it’s not exactly common. Has she forgotten? Was it even her? Is the difference between us that she let go of the past but I never could? she mused, her mouth settling for a surly sour grimace over a smile.

“I wouldn’t put you in that much danger Fallon, I just…I wouldn’t,” she said shortly, “and it was just a figure of speech” she gave a flick of her hand, not willing to analyse that part of their connection just yet. It was too early and far too dangerous for her. In truth Fallon wouldn’t know but she was special in the fact that Zandelia hadn’t immediately tried to form a carnal connection – it was a much used shortcut for those she lacked respect for.

She watched Fallon stretch and took her in before her gaze flicked away quickly and she tried to hide the look upon her face by rubbing her palms into her cheeks – it would disguise the redness there, what little there was. She wasn’t a bashful person by nature but Fallon seemed to make everything so difficult at times. She sighed softly, the question was a strange one and seemed to be a searching one for all of its innocence – she tried to shake away the cobwebs in her mind and key her mind to the way Fallon thought.

“It’s unique, it rolls of the tongue and it’s yours,” she tongued the cut in her lip with a wince as she wondered whether she should hint at her suspicions to see if she could spark some recognition, “it reminds me of a time once forgotten. I knew another Fallon once. Out time together was long but not as happy as I would wish. Hunting first it is then and a bed can be arranged. They have apartments in the Slums. Not pretty but real beds. I know what you mean though, I could do with a real building to show that I’ve achieved something in this city. This tent isn’t so bad though Fallon, I’ve spent worse nights. Didn’t expect you to lose the wanderer’s edge though, what’s prompted that?” she asked honestly, she thought Fallon would wander forever.

Oh the Scars was a beautiful dream but it wasn’t something that had a large expectation of success and so she expected them to be snuffed out quickly enough. Or attempted to at any rate. Sunberth wasn’t a city worth dying over if you were a traveller by nature. Still, there was a small measure of comfort in the idea that Fallon would stick around, she couldn’t keep the small slither of hope from her voice. She wasn’t sure why really, she had known Fallon for such a short time yet she had a talent for getting under her skin it seemed.

“No,” she shuddered, “I’d rather burn the damned dress and forget about that part of my sordid life thank you. Perhaps I’ll use it as fire fuel later” she stated flatly, her voice cold.

“Not the meat I would like to taste my dear, definitely not. I prefer it younger and more delicate,” she threw her own teasing barb back at the woman as she snatched the food from her hand, “and all of these orders. The leader finally emerges. I wonder why? Very well, I’ll sit still and obey…for you”

She snorted at the comment about salt, it was a good preservative but she had not known it to be used for healing. Still the other woman was wise and a traveller and so must have picked up a few small portions of knowledge over the years and so she didn’t argue. She was curious herself over what would happen, whether it would be effective. She did nothing but look into those sea-green eyes as her chin was tilted this way and that and the work of the healer was taken upon by Fallon. No words were needed, it was enough that she was allowing Fallon to experiment upon her and trusted her enough to allow it – order or not she knew she couldn’t force Zandelia to do anything. Then came the rag, the cool bitter liquid seeping into her mouth and being pushed into the cut of her lip. Her eye widened as the stinging pain began and she clenched them tight trying for all the world to override her natural reaction to clamp her teeth shut. She ground her palm into the floor and a whimper came from her throat for a few seconds before the pain ended and returned to a dull throbbing.

“Gods, does every woman I meet warn me of things after they do them to me?” she asked, not thinking before the words slipped out and would now be questioned she was sure. She shook her head and used her tongue to brush the inside of her lip, “yes…definitely doing something I think…thank you” she managed to get out.

The next little while was spent in eating a portion of the rations, they were far from tasty but they were certainly filling and she felt her hunger abating shortly after, nodding as she pulled the cloak about herself and slipped it into place after levering herself upwards. She frowned at the reference to her eye but she couldn’t fault the comment.

“It makes a lot of things difficult Fallon, a lot of things. I know how to use a bow though, if terribly. And hunting? Only of people really. I didn’t suggest because I thought we would actually catch anything, it’s just something fun and not involved with anything shadowy. It gives me time to relax with the only one who actually knows me” she shrugged, “we’ll do our best I’m sure. I’m sure you’ve used your bow enough to get something worth eating” she finished, standing now and rolling her shoulders.

“Give me a second,” she answered and slipped out of the tent and made her way to her own right next door to retrieve her own shortbow and quiver – buckling them in place along with her tonfa for protection. She returned to Fallon’s tent.

“Well then pretty leader, shall we leave?” she asked with a smile.

[Fallon]

”Every woman? My, sounds like someone has been busy in the past. Sounds like you've had several lady friends,” there was a tease followed by a smirk, but that quickly faded. ”Another Fallon? Must be a common name,” her head at that point turned away as she tidied up, the cloth being gently laid across the top and the supplies being put to one side. Picking her way through she returned the supplies to the bag, her eyes quickly scanning over things – checking that they were indeed all there. Lids pinched, a careful tick of thought, ”If you’re going to burn the dress at least strip it for rags. Be much better use for all of us… well. Me. But that’s not the point.”

Pushing her hair back, she found the long length of cord and teased what she could into the safety of bindings. The fringe of course found its way free, but that did not matter as long as it kept the messy tangled mane at bay. There was only a pause however as she remembered the suggestions of the woman. Shaking her head she denied the offer of the apartments, ”No, I… would rather not go to the apartments. Not yet. Just…. I would rather have my own place. That I… Never mind. I am comfortable here, it just needs… tidying up?” she discarded the thought and shot a sharp look at Zandelia and spoke in protest, ”I haven’t lost the edge. If I never lost it in Syliras then I sure as damned aren’t going to lose it here.”

Sucking in the air she held it for a moment. Her hand had clenched into a fist at that point, the faint tremble of objection to the words. How stupid. She would never lose that. She was a drifter. A vagabond. There was no home to her. No place to put down roots. Nothing. Pushing aside the thought she took up the dried shirt and gave a glance back to the woman. It was hard not to be defensive about the subject, that internal wrestling as she pressed it down and out of sight before promptly shoving that wall between her and it.

Turning her head away she allowed the frustration to flash upon her face, before finally dying down once more. Questions and thoughts quickly trickled in after that, and whilst she continued about her business she spoke, ”So, hunting. You hunt people, I hunt food. You ever heard a rabbit scream? Made me jump the first time. Orvin put it out of its misery though.” Her thumb cocked round to his still sleeping form at that point. Of course there were other things floating about in the grey space, but she was not about to start talking about them. It was memories that were better left buried, things of the past that she would have rather labelled a dream – or more correctly a nightmare. Blinking she gave a nod to Zandelia as she stood and made and exit, ”Take your time.”

It was barely a breath after the woman left that she had already ripped the tunic off to replace it with the shirt. Limbs squirmed through the sleeves, the slender frame sliding through the layers and being exposed to the air. For a moment there was a shudder, her eyes glancing back over her shoulder a pause as she listened for the movements and then darted into the shirt. There was a firm tug down as she pulled it into place, and her head spinning back round to spy the smile of Zandelia. There was a sheepish smile in response, a smoothing out of creases and then the pull over of the tunic once more. Adjusting her equipment, her hand hovered over the tulwar blades and paused – did she really need them or was it just the feeling of being secure? Grabbing them she cocked an eyebrow up, ”Pretty…? If you say so. Yes, the leader is ready to go.”

Weight was shifted as she walked along, the kukri being pulled around so it rested along the horizontal of her back. Her own arrows were gathered at that point, brought around so the feathers poked above her shoulder. From there she strung the bow across her, ”Too much?” It did not matter now, she was already walking. Stretching herself out she looked ahead, ”We’ll head to the Northern Wilds. Not much but hilly stuff… guess you probably know of it.”

There was a gentle clink as she stepped, her fingers wriggling in her gloves as she looked on ahead. Her mind buzzed, the look of focus fixing itself in place as they slid their way through the early morning mist. The blanket of white had gripped firmly onto the canvas corridors, the natural eeriness creating strange shapes and shadows. Whilst it may have been a break from the usual routine, it seemed the world was quite capable of reflecting it instead. Her skin gave a prickle as they continued to walk, her eyes darting in uneasiness, ”Fog, it really has that way of making everything look creepy.” There was a friendly nudge with her elbow at that point, ”Don’t wander too far when we’re out there. Don’t want to lose you to the mist monsters.”

Teasing she pulled back and away, ”If it’s any help, I’m a bad shot too. And… I take too long apparently. Suppose it means we can make fools of ourselves together. Maybe if we’re lucky we’ll be able to hunt down a fearsome tree and… you get the idea.” Fallon was nervous. Her mind was busy blinking between thoughts, and the attempt to make conversation was becoming bogged down in other such things. The most dominant one at the moment was the groping, after that it was the nagging press of the past she did not want to remember. But even she knew she would have to face it eventually. Just, not right now. And then, finally there was the woman herself – and that just left a resounding ache in her chest.

[Zandelia]

“Take it from a good judge of women,” she grinned as she let Fallon step past her and into the world of grime that was Sunberth, “and no actually. Not so many as you might think. They just all seem to like doing things to me before they tell me how painful they might be. Curse of my profession I suppose” she spoke to Fallon’s back as she hefted her shortbow and strode to catch up to the other woman.

She replayed the thin scrap of flesh that she had managed to get a gaze of, the sheepish smile rather than instant recoil and embarrassment seemed to be a step in the right direction. She said nothing of it, in some ways she was beginning to think more of Fallon’s feelings than she thought she should. It had been hard seeing Fallon like she had been, scared and broken and she didn’t want to see it again. She was not sure that her heart could take it – if she was the Fallon from the past she knew she had already suffered too much and she didn’t want to add to it. She drew level and glanced sideways at the purposeful Fallon now…no…Bitzer.

“You were right about the dress…Bitzer,” the name seemed foreign to her tongue now after knowing the true name but she knew the value of having an alias and she wasn’t about to destroy it carelessly, still her lips twisted at the name slightly, “you can have it if you like. Cut it up, whatever you want. I don’t really want to touch it…well…you know” she ended it there before her tongue got away from her and her memory betrayed her.

The mists were thin for now but seemed to be growing as they walked into the morning chill, thin tendrils wrapping their way around the pair as they moved through them as if only reluctantly letting them progress onwards. It wasn’t quite the same but it stirred dark memories within her, especially with Fallon’s words dulled by the damp reaching into her and tending the flames of her fears. It had been a terrible night, one where she had banded together with other and list them. She had been attacked by ghosts and then saved by one – Lucern herself no less. Her features darkened and she turned her head away, not wanting Fallon to see the fearful anger there. It was a strange mix and recently her emotions had been free and less held by her mental chains.

But why? Is it the revenge? Is it just age? Fallon? Oh petch…it might be all of them she was frightened of that, terrified but refused to acknowledge it. The playful nudge at her ribs pulled her from her thoughts, catching her off guard as the woman found so easy to do – another warning sign to her professional senses that warred with her personal ones.

“Oh you’d be surprised what I’ve had to do in the fogs of Sunberth, very surprised indeed. Yes…monsters. Still,” she stepped inwards and took Fallon by the arm, “can’t get lost like this can I? Though the not wanting to lose me was touching. I wouldn’t worry though I can be replaced fairly easily no?” she retorted, her gaze slipping across the freakishly accentuated shapes of the various tents that surrounded them as the closeness made it harder to resist the nagging voices in her mind, though soothed the argumentative ones for now.

“Being fools together is better than being fools in front of others. We can get it all out today and be serious tomorrow. It’s about time you had a break anyway, I only ever see you thinking and frowning outside of our own…time together. It’ll do you good to be silly for a while” she observed as diplomatically as possible, for her at least.

The truth was she was worried, slightly worried perhaps. She was all for concentration and focus, had used such mentalities to gain as much as she had so far in the city. She was conscious, however, that Fallon didn’t seem to simply enjoy herself at all. At least not that she had seen, or rather not in simple ways. Emotions were clearly bubbling away towards her surface, she knew her enough to see that, and if she could she’d direct them towards happier things. She hadn’t done her job well so far but aimed to make up for it. She didn’t know why exactly, but she needed to.

Perhaps because I know I’ll never have the opportunity to regain my lost years? She is young still, has the time to do so. She was angry though, for a flash there. Angry that I suggested she had lost the traveller’s edge. Why? she mused as their feet took them to the outskirts of the city slowly, groping their way through the mists. For a moment Zandlia had felt anger herself, as if she were being spurned in favour of the open road after having plans placed before her but she knew she had no right. Fallon’s life was her own and her decisions also.

“I know of the Northern Wilds, never been there properly though. Guess it’s an adventure for us both,” she spoke to break the silence, “at the very least we will learn something new. Even if it is how muddy hills can be”

They had made it past the outskirts now and were on their merry way towards the hills, or rather where they knew the hills to be. The mist was thinning as the streets clogging it up were disappearing but it was still hanging in the air somewhat. There was a faint shadow through it though that she thought could be their destination.

“What did you do in Syliras Fallon? Oh don’t look at me like that I can use your name here with no one around who can see us. I’m tired of facades and certainly with you. If it helps I can tell you a story of Nyka and a certain mirror in return,” she asked tentatively, she wanted to try and piece together Fallon’s past so she could better understand her, “it involves a Protohuman?” she raised her eyebrow suggestively, attempting to persuade the woman with pure curiosity.

[Fallon]

So she called her by her alias, what of it? Fallon’s neck gave a click. It made sense to do so, they were not exactly in the safety of privacy, and even she knew that it made sense to cover up the tracks where ever possible. But it was still something difficult to grasp about it. Fingers flexed and wriggled, the gentle tick of words running through. Hide, conceal, detach yourself from the past – she had to in order to survive.

There was a flinch when Zandelia linked arms with her, a moment of reflex and subtle surprise commanding her. Eyes gave a dart down to the join, her brow cocking as she took it in – before she gave a glance up to the eye of the woman. For a moment they narrowed, pondering almost the seriousness of the words before she simply shook her head in disagreement, ”I don’t replace people. I just… move on.”

She had done it with her mentor, she had done it with those she had labelled friends; lovers, interests, cities that she felt she could settle. The roaring dreams and the heated passions – she had still moved on. And it was that fact that left a bitter taste of regret within her mouth. So much running away, no time to settle and grow. Her eyes turned and her attention returned to the world ahead – it was for the better that way. It protected the heart and mind, it kept the tattered and ever flowing ego sealed from sight. And most importantly, it allowed those walls and barriers to rise once more. Intimacy would only lead to suffering, a point that could be exploited by others and inevitably used against them.

Lips were wetted, a blink as the shapes gave a twist and a turn around her. Dark patches thinned, opening out to a rolling expanse of white – somewhere in the sky the faint glow of the sun cracked through the haze, but it was far from enough to allow the burning off of the cool. Blinking she took in the opening expanse, the faint crunch of earth beneath their feet. A plume of white rolled from her lips, the crinkle of branches caught by the gentle breeze. It was calm, absent of the usual life of Sunberth – leaving it relatively clean and untainted.

And in response to that, the sense of yearning grew within. To run, to escape, to cast away the foundations of the Scars to the winds and go on ever more. Travelling, drifting and unsettled. And just as that seemed like an enjoyable prospect, it once more carved out that hollow sensation. Her free hand clenched slightly, and then relaxed as she released the thought. The woman was right, she needed to stop. To relax the mind, to have a break from the present working routine and the darkness that surrounded it - whilst possible. Somewhere ahead the hills rolled, the out cropping of skeletal trees still bare of leaves peaking out.

”Syliras? I thought that was kind of obvious. I served the orde-,” her lips snapped shut when Zandelia cut her off. Fallon stopped dead in her tracks. For a moment there was silence, a blink as she turned the words around in her head – checking almost she had heard them correctly. It was not however the offering of knowledge – whatever a Protohuman was - that dragged her attention to a fine point. Her arm slipped away, a firm step back and away. Even the entire expression fell away behind a blank canvas and repeated the words that stuck out to her, ”I’m tired of facades and certainly with you.”

Eyes stared, falling behind a cool sheen and the true accent quickly followed suit, ”If you are tired of it and myself then why are you here?” Her eyes locked, her back straightening as she took the woman in. Fallon did not look angry or even upset – that internal line of thought was twisting and turning beneath her skin, ”You make it sound like a chore, as if it is something that takes up your time when you would much rather be doing something else.” Taking a step away she shook her head, ”If I am of such tiring facade to you, then, by all means… Go,” her hand at that point raised and a finger pointed back towards the city proper to solidify her statement. Afterwards there was little more than a withdrawal, ”Don’t mind me.”

That was how it had to be now. An internal wrapping of words and feelings hidden beneath layers. Stepping away she continued her walking, a steady stride up into the hills. Thoughts turned internally, snagging and snaring upon the emotions. So that was how she was, nothing more or less – a rebuff that solidified the fact she was better off hiding behind her walls. It was safe there; no one could hurt her as long as she did not let them in. Toes pressed against the earth, her eyes staring ever on ahead. She was not going to turn back, not like this. Not whilst things were so raw and convoluted in nature.

What did the woman want from her? Her reasoning? It was a source of confusion she could not find an answer to. Always probing, always looking for an answer. It was intrusive, exposing of herself, but she could not allow such things to occur any more. Keep them out, do not let them in. There was a pause as she unhooked the bow from herself, readying it for use and then continuing the scrabble up the hill.

Petch it all.

[Zandelia]

The sudden change in the mood took her completely by surprise, her tongue dumb at the seemingly needless remonstration and the invitation to leave as if it were the greatest pleasure she could give Fallon at that point in time. There had been no emotion in the voice, the face impassive and stony in the extreme as she had squared her shoulders and pointed towards the general direction of Sunberth before walking off ahead without a second glance backwards. Zandelia stood silent, dumbfounded by the outburst and left wondering why in the Hai it had bubbled forth without any previous warning at all. As far as she was concerned things had been going well. Fallon had looked askance at their closeness but had not rejected her. Was it some form of defence? Did she just seek to push her away?

What had she said? If I am tired of facades and…of…her…petch! I didn’t mean it that way at all! She’s just taken what I said and drawn her own conclusion. So smart and yet…no…I said the words. I can’t blame her here she sighed inwardly to herself.

She looked towards the vague outline of the city, the mists thinning enough now at the outskirts to be able to see the dozens of street mouth’s that opened into the plains and hills that surrounded Sunberth on this side of the seas. To her credit she didn’t so much consider leaving as she did wonder whether Fallon just simply wanted her to do so. She was a strange one after all and if she truly wished for silence and loneliness then there was little she could do but assent. Yet she didn’t sense that, it was almost the opposite at times – there was a war within the other woman she thought and she didn’t know which side would win. She knew only that she couldn’t affect the outcome if she simply ran away every time she was told to do so. She shook her head and slowly paced in Fallon’s wake.

Such a silly thing to argue over perhaps, from my point of view anyway. But what about from hers? Have I actually considered her perspective or do I just dismiss it as too difficult to comprehend as an excuse? Okay, so she is used to isolation then and…for once she let someone in? And now…thinks it was a forged occurrence? No…or yes. God’s I don’t know all I know is she is a frustrating sow at times she smirked at that privately.

It was true and yet when she had been told to leave she had felt something different from other similar encounters, she had felt shame and sorrow. She supposed she had been alone so long – in a mental and emotional way at least – that she had assumed their developing bond was not open for dismembering. Clearly she had been mistaken and now would have to do the legwork required to make sure it didn’t peter out completely like so many other things. She considered as she walked about the best way of doing so. Idly she wondered if she could show her words for what they had meant rather than talk about them – Fallon was better with words after all and she would likely lost that exchange.

“Very well then, let her see another façade and see how she likes it. Maybe then she’ll know why I am tired of facades with her and know I didn’t mean it that way…or piss her off more. Well, she wants it so she gets it” she muttered to herself as she summoned up the persona of Dasoma from within her – one used many times and for different purposes.

Fallon had experienced Dasoma a little but had not really encountered her fully – the arrogance and the almost childish flippancy that irked many she had met whilst playing her. Her cruelty even and her incessant way of digging into people without mercy and feeling little but pitiful disdain for others. She took a deep breath and tried to arrange her vocal chords to the higher, more airy pitch that Dasoma voice herself with. She would push the façade so far that it forced reality to intervene or she wasn’t worth her own abilities.

“No, I don’t think I shall go Bitzer, I am enjoying myself far too much out here in the mud and the fog,” she spoke sarcastically at her back as she loudly sniffed, “and the wild animal dung amidst the dew. I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to see your archery skills for anything else. So much fun” she stepped forwards slowly, affecting the accentuated roll of the hips and the almost tip-toe way of walking.

"Oh please forgive me, Dasoma is here. Pleased to meet you again Bitzer" she trilled as happily as she could feign.

“Actually, you know, I quite like it here. I like facades too, don’t you? I mean of course you do, of course you do. Always with the acting. A fine art they say, you should have seen Lhavit you know they are wonderful at it there. Though of course it has its darker side too, so sordid at times. Did you know? Oh, I’m sorry I’m treating you like a fool of course you do you know Zandelia. Quite the little harlot isn’t she?” she giggled then, high and annoying as her free hand touched her lips to only half-cover the sound.

“And you are no fool of course, you tricked me well enough. Well Bitzer, Dasoma now knows you served the Knights…wonderful!” she was next to the woman now, looking out at the almost barren vista and hands clasped behind her back gently, “did you find yourself a big strong man? All glistening muscles and heroic actions. Hmm? Oh of course you did my pretty” she nudged the woman a little as if in the deepest of confidence.

“Pleased to meet you again, oh I said that already. Silly me” she bowed far too theatrically for it to be considered a serious endeavour, “let me see we left each other after having tea. Now you are mad? But why? Zandelia wasn’t mean to you was she? She is quite silly at times, I should know you know” she leant in conspiratorially her last words almost a whisper. She turned on her feet with a smile and began to walk around the back of Fallon now.

“So what did you do in the order Bitzer? Did you fight? I don’t see any metal armour…I thought that’s what real knights wore? Hmmm” the last word came like a thoughtful and measuring pause. She was trying to annoy Fallon now, it seemed the only way she ever got a true reaction from her was through annoyance so why not use that?

Go on, punch me. I dare you. Let it out on me and see what happens. You are young and headstrong but I’m willing to suffer pain and time if it means a payment of far more wealth. Age before beauty, experience before youth. You put up walls but we already know how that ends up with enough of a push don’t we? she told herself, affirming her plans and steeling herself for the expected onslaught – verbal or physical.

“Oh look! A tree! You wanted to see her be terrible, that wasn’t nice of you but still…might as well fulfil her promises for us. I have never been known not to…in time” she exclaimed with feigned excitement as she pulled an arrow from her quiver and placed it to the string.

“Watch me miss, go on” she pulled the string back and frowned down the length of the arrow as the fletching touched her cheek and tried to line it up with the centre of the distant trunk. She let it fly and laughed as it went off course to the left almost immediately, an annoyingly high-pitched sound that grated against most people. She lowered her arm slowly and looked at Bitzer from the side of her peripheral vision.

“There you go! Got me beat easily. Go on, you do it. Zandelia isn’t here anymore she can’t say anything foolish that she didn’t mean the way it was taken. Although…” she pursed her lips and touched her free finger against them as of deep in thought, her eye squinting, “it is interesting that you took it that way. Care to share? Oh go on! Please?” this last question was almost childish in its tone and expression.

If she doesn’t get annoyed at this nothing will bloody well ruffle her. I hinted at this Andres, I mocked her and I showed her how terrible it is to face a ‘true’ façade…I hope at least. Ah well, nothing was built in a day and without painful effort. Stop being so dead for god’s sake it’s not as if people can’t be misunderstood! You’re smarter than that she told herself as she allowed a broad grin to cross her lips as she leant in with almost a leer of intrigue.

She took a deep breath.

“Why so serious…Bitzer?” she sniggered then, a deep snigger that touched the very core of her body and rippled out through her nostrils as loudly as she could make it.