Hirem's time in Riverfall had opened his eyes to a new world of colour.
For four years he had travelled the desert aimlessly, bereft of purpose. For four years, he had cast himself over and over again into the Burning Lands, hoping that one day it might just swallow him whole and end his story quickly. For four years, his existence had been coloured by dust, sorrow, and regret, and never once did he seek to ease his burden with a companion, with friends, or with family... for he had exiled himself from his people, and alienated all the rest. He would wake up in the morning and feel nothing but a hollow shell where his soul used to be; when he laid down for bed, that same hollowness had grown into an ocean within his tightening chest. And fear haunted both his waking hours and his restless sleep, fear of the past that threatened to flay his mind apart. He slept through nightmares and lived through daytime horrors, and never once wondered if there was perhaps a better use for him in the whole of Mizahar. For that was his place, and he was content to die there.
But Cyphrus, and Riverfall, changed all of that. The simple act of seeing grass in massive fields filled Hirem with a bizarre joy that all else thought was some form of madness, but in truth was a sense of relief that not everything in the world was filled with sand. And the sea - by Laviku, the sea! - so wonderfully blue and terribly frightening, and the very air was tinged sweetly from its presence! Hirem never wanted to step onto a boat in his life, but he thanked all the gods he knew that there was such a thing as the Suvan Sea. The city of Riverfall was a beacon of light that filled Hirem with a new sense of hope. Here, everything was possible: legends could be made, opportunity was everywhere, and the gods themselves came down just a bit closer for struggling mortal hands to reach. Though his time here had been marked by both good tidings and horrible developments - the fact that a thief, who had stolen from him, had become a begrudging acquaintance had been strange enough - the Benshira nonetheless felt overjoyed with the fact that he was alive, and that he was in this city, and that he was following in Yahal's footsteps.
Every night, after his evening exercise was done and he was ready to depart for bed, Hirem offered the same prayer to his beloved god: Father Yahal, blessed be the path that you have wrought, that has brought me to this city of wonders. I have been reborn in the fires of a new world, and it is only thanks to your guidance that I have survived long enough to stand here at all. I promise that I will never forget the lessons that you have taught me here, even as my path may one day lead me from this city to some other, strange destination. Though my road promises to be long, and it may be many years yet before I behold my beloved homeland again, I will remain thankful that I have embarked upon this journey at all. You are the all-seeing, all-knowing father of my existence, and I will strive to live every day in your image. So shall I pray. He meant every word of the prayer, for Hirem's life had not been better in almost nine full years.
But he was also deluding himself. For no matter how far he ran away from Eyktol, he would never truly be reborn while the lashes of his old life remained ingrained into his back.
By now, the Benshira had managed to establish a vague catalogue of the many nightly terrors that visited him in his sleep, and even if he did not remember the specific details of a dream, it didn't take much work to figure out which vision had ended up plaguing him. Tonight, as Hirem threw himself from his single bed with a hoarse cry screaming from his open lips, heart racing in his chest, the images of the nightmare proved particularly vivid, even in the dying light of the conscious realm. In his mind's eye, he saw the scene playing out exactly as it had first occurred; the whistle of an arrow through the dark. The mage at my side cries out in pain. Arrow slits through his throat. Blood oozing out, colourless in the dark of Hai. Mage writhing on the ground. Clutching at my arm. "Ulric," he wheezes. "Justice, and not mercy." Another arrow comes from the dark. Strikes me in the leg. Watch as blood oozes from me. Black as the bitterest night. Consumed by the darkness of Hai.
"Sir?" came the call from his open doorway, bringing the Benshira halfway into the realm of the living. Standing there, door ajar, was the Akalak tavern keeper Nystir, staring at him with an expression that looked shocked... for an Akalak. "You were screaming, sir? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine!" Hirem blurted out, a little too quickly to be genuine. Taken aback by the outburst, Nystir glanced downwards and looked pointedly at his tavern guest's arms. Following his gaze, the Benshira realized that his hands had gripped tightly round the other, squeezing until the knuckles were turning white and circulation was being cut off from the wrist upwards. "Oh." With a great deal of effort, Hirem finally managed to ease his hands open and release the stranglehold grip he had managed on himself, staring numbly at his shaking arms. He noted that the white scar from the tsana's jaws was fading more every day, and no longer stung him nearly so much when he applied direct pressure to it. Funny that this scar should heal so quickly when the wound that's still killing me hasn't even grown dry.
He needed help. And he didn't know where to get it.
Searching for the answer to his torments, Hirem - after Nystir excused himself back to the main tavern floor - attacked his scroll of welcome and busily scanned through the document for any references to a place of healing. It pains me to say it, but the Gilia cannot serve my purposes tonight. I need... something else. Finally, the Benshira stumbled upon a reference to the Psyche's Sanctum, a mental shelter within Riverfall that promised to cater to his needs. This should do nicely. Throwing on his tunic and breeches, Hirem prepared himself for a quick jaunt up the tiers of Riverfall to the very top of the city, where he might obtain entrance to this mysterious Psyche's Sanctum. He was just about to leave...
when his pride managed to catch up with him.
I... I cannot do this. He realized as he stood in the open hallway, his fists clenching at his sides. It made all the sense in the world for him to go, but something that defied logic stayed his hand. I cannot sit before another and admit that my mind is too fractured for me to repair. I am - I am stronger than this! I have to be stronger than this! Yahal makes me strong! Desperation made his heart fill with despair, and tears began to fill his reddening eyes. The strength sapping from his weary bones, the Benshira left his legs pitch forward underneath him, throwing him clumsily onto the ground. Uncaring of who in the tavern might hear him, Hirem opened his eyes and wept pathetically into the floor. I am not mad... I cannot be mad... I cannot have come so far and be mad! "Abarr," he whimpered to the empty air, calling out for his father - for Yahal - in Shiber. "Please help me... please help me..."
The Psyche's Sanctum was no option at all for him. So he had to get creative.
Standing before the tavern at an ungodly time of the night, Hirem grimly reflected on what a mess he must appear to be. It was obvious that he had been in some sort of distress: the top of his tunic was stained with tears and snot, and his eyes were completely bloodshot. This tavern, this Alements... this has to be of some help. I can purchase some healing tincture within, something that'll calm my spirit... that will be enough, hopefully, to cure me. The tavern didn't look closed just yet, although, judging by the lateness of the bell, the doors could probably become locked at any time. He must make his entrance now, then, or be barred access tonight. Sniffling quietly, the Benshira rubbed his nose on the sleeve of his tunic and entered Alements.
Once inside, he did not go out of his way to speak to anyone or introduce himself to the staff; in a daze, Hirem walked to a random table, sat down, and stared blearily at the menu. The words were swimming in his vision, for already another memory of the past was beginning to surface in this place of earth and fire. A burning brand was held in his hand, light exploding from its dying glare. "Back, you sinners!" He cried to the darkness, but the darkness responded with the hissing of shadows and of arrows.
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