Bakar's Journal

[Bakar]

Fall, 8, 514

Bought a book today. Wasn't easy. I bumped into a woman on the way to the Bazaar, brought some, uh, personal thoughts to me. Got a little upset and wiped my eye, for a tear that wasn't there. Messed up my makeup, but didn't notice. Continued onto the Bazaar. I noticed people staring, but couldn't figure out why. Bought some basic supplies for Glyphing. Paper, ink, inscribing paint. Mostly stuff to practice.

A member of the Knights approached me as I decided to leave. Too many people starring. He told me his name was Garland, and that my makeup was running. To my horror, that's exactly what was happening. That's why everyone was staring. Mortified, I thought the young squire was going to arrest me, or even just kill me on the spot. Knights are terrifying. They have never treated me well. I tend to avoid them. I had no choice this time though. The squire stayed close, and I didn't want the Knights after me for a misunderstanding. After leaving the Bazaar, and reapplying my makeup, we had a conversation.

He asked why I was so jumpy. I almost felt like laughing. "You." I told him. And then, I did something I never had done. I confided in the Squire. I told him of the abuse I had suffered from the hands of old squires. They were long gone now. Either dead or just fallen out from my surroundings, now too old to do anything to me. From what I heard, they were never promoted either. Stuck as squires to the end. But the thing that surprised me was, I had confided in a squire some from the same position as the ones who abused me. There was just something about him. His smile, his genuine voice and I just trusted him. He called me friend. That's a word I haven't heard in a long time. At first it was just to get my attention, but later, he said we'd be shopping together as friends to reduce suspicion. Either way, it was nice to hear that word again. It's been a while. I took him up on his offer to accompany me. I wanted that mirror.

Even after the near insults I threw at the squire pertaining to his order, he still went through with his offer to walk with me during my shopping. He told me I'd make a good addition to the Knights. I wasn't sure if I was happy or upset. I eventually settled on happy. I had thought about joining them. Deep borne fears always kept me from it though. He then asked me.. who was I before. Who was I while I was alive. The question shocked me terribly. I was.. no one. My life before Nuit seems someone else's now, albeit someone who I was close to, and cared for. I told him a little, but mostly I instead rambled on like and idiot about my beginnings as a Nuit. Dammit, Bakar, why are you so open with this poor, young man?

Well, I got my mirror. Was so intrigued by Garland's story I didn't even stop to look at myself right away. He was telling me about his life, how he grew up in an orphanage after his parent's were killed on their way to Syliras. A sad fate that happens all too often. Although maybe it's not too often.. Maybe I'm just too old, and hear more than others would. In any case, I learned that this young man had been pretty pacifistic in his younger years, although now enjoys the thrill of a fight. He even told me he sometimes basically goes into a rage while doing so. I assume this is what happened to the leader of the kids who beat him, near to death actually. He told me he broke his arm so bad, only a healer with the Mark of Rak'keli could possibly heal him. I must remember to keep this man on my good side. He suggested that we head to the Fighter's Pit, to see some fights, and relax. It wasn't really my first choice of place to relax, but I agreed anyways. He even went so far as to abandon his post to do so with me.

On the way to the Pit, Garland asked how long I'd been in Syliras. What could have been a one sentence answer, I once again expanded and talked nearly the entire way to the Pit. Poor guy. I rambled on about my apartment of all things. I then told him that for some reason I trusted him, and to forgive me if I ramble, and get to personal too fast. I decided it was easier to tell him than to constantly worry about it. Almost immediately after that though, I delve into another personal topic. My teacher. I didn't talk on length about this one. I didn't want to talk about this one. I slipped out and I stopped soon after. He didn't push it. We soon heard the sound of metal on metal. We were nearing the Pit.

He took my hand as we arrived. I'm sure it was for my safety, but it scared me nonetheless. His skin was almost feverish to the touch, but I'm certain that was because of my own, cold skin in comparison. I hope it didn't bother him too much. We took a seat and watched the current fight. A young man with a long sword vs and older man with a shorter sword and shield. The young man was swinging madly at the older one. I was shocked by his attacks. Such strength. Garland asked if we wanted to bet. I agreed, deciding it was the least I could do. I pointed out the young fighter, never yielding and asked Garland the terms of the bet. Whoever wins can make the other do whatever they want, within reason. That's a weird bet.. he did offer Mizas as well, but I decided that I should keep a closer eye on my finances. So I took the first terms. What would he make me do? What could I make him do? I guess I find out when it happened.

The young man was knocked down. His attacks were so manic, his swings relentless. But the older fighter found an opening. Blocked a predictable attack and knocked him down. The fight was surely over I thought. I learned a valuable lesson then. Brute strength will not win every fight. It's not about how hard you swing. If they never connect it's just wasted energy. You need to wait, bide your time, find an opening and exploit it. I was so sure that brute force would win, because I knew it would on me. I have much to learn about fighting it seems. I don't have to skill to move like that older fighter, but I now know that relentlessness will only get you so far.

I lost the bet. The young fighter was knocked down again, not due to carelessness this time, he was just outskilled. I'm not upset. A little nervous about the bet, but not upset. I learned much today. As we headed off to the library, I asked Garland about his current life. I think I made him uncomfortable, so I elected to stay quiet until we arrived. When we did, we learned that access to the Archives is only granted to members of the Order. I was more than a little disappointed, but I wasn't about to go against the Knights. I bid Garland farewell, but then he told me the terms of our bet. "Be happy, and maybe find a Nuit girlfriend." This flustered me more than a little. I got so embarrassed and nervous I started stammering and left in a hurry. Damn...

Fall, 9, 514

Applied for a job today. Don't got much experience, but applied for an undertaker, most likely an assistant, and novice Reimancer. Waiting for my announcement now.

Fall, 12, 514

Practicing my glyphing today. Didn't start out so hot. It's been a while since I tried this. My lines were shaky, and I had a hard time remembering some of the runes. After a few hours of practice though, I can write a basic sigil. Focus was perfect, once I got Irst remembered, the barrier was perfect. Triggers are the easy part. Just some basic instructions. Wouldn't acually use my own scrolls yet. I wouldn't trust them to contain my magic well enough. Might cause an unneeded acident. But they were still good practice. After writing three basic sigils, I took a break.

Fall, 13, 514

I wanted to practice combining my Reimancy with a focus painted on my hand. I went through my supplies before I realized that I bought paint, but no brushes. Cursing myself, I took out my mirror and a small amount of makeup and began the process. It was much easier now that I had a mirror. Spots were more clear that I missed, or over applied. I believe the only reason I got away with it is because the tunnels can tend to be dark, and I keep my head down. I made a quick trip to the bazaar and bought some brushes and paint then headed back to the apartment.

I painted a focus on my hand. No barrier, no trigger. If I use this, I don't want it hindered. I want the magic amplified instantly. I decided to practice my basic Reimancy first though. First Res production. Lost focus the first time and wasted it. Then Res manipulation. I can only move it a couple meters around me, but I'm sure that'll increase with practice. I could change it to any state. That was a good sign that I still knew what I was doing. Then the conversion. It came to mind how stupid it was to start with air. Although I guess at the time, I was expecting to learn more, and air seemed to be the easiest to start with.. Anyways, the conversion was a success. I could create air. I swirled it around a little bit. Getting some more feel for my FoM. Still around the same, though it was a little harder to maintain. I should keep it in Res until I'm ready to use it. It becomes pretty hard. I thought of condensing the air as much as I could, trying to weaponize it. I wanted to toss a small ball at condensed air at my enemies, to see if it would cause any damage. I used my table as a dummy. I tossed the air, and it just seemed to dissipate. No effect. I sat my table for a bit, disappointed yet again. It wasn't until I brushed my hand on the table and got a splinter that I noticed the tiny, pea shaped hole in my table. The air had shot right through. I smiled to myself and leaned back. I wanted to continue, but I could start to feel the effects of overgiving. I want to cast more. I resisted. I noticed the glyph on my hand, and the temptation came back twicefold. I hadn't even practiced Reimancy with the glyph yet. I couldn't stop now. I had thought to myself. But once again I resisted. This was the most important thing my teacher had told me. Be very wary of overgiving. I sat, and waited throughout the day.

Near the evening I finally deicided it was safe to cast some more, using the glyph this time. I found it was much easier to focus and produce my Res. Easier to manipulate and change it. I then thought now would be a good idea to test the other property of Res, the ability to attract other elements to it. I took all of the air out of the room, and condensed it into a ball. As the air left the area around the hearth, the fire went out. I made a not to test something later.

I slowly allowed to air to fill the room again, fearful of a great gust of air released in a near vacuum. I relit my hearth and tested again, the glyph now gone however. I concentrated on taking the air away from the heath, and once again the fire went out. I guess fire needs air to stay sustained. They is a good thing to remember in case of emergencies.

Fall, 32, 514

I've started to walk around town more. Garland convincing me to do so. It gives my live more variety. Things to do. I pondered what humans do for enjoyment, hoping to find some for myself. Music came to mind. I thought, what the hell, and headed towards the nearest music store. As I neared, I could hear the songs being played from within. It.. didn't please me as much as I was hoping. I almost turned and left, but decided to continue anyways. As I approached the store, I noticed another Squire. A female. Slumped against the side of the building. She was unmoving, and seemed unresponsive. I was nervous but decided that I couldn't leave her there. She may be hurt, and everyone was ignoring her. I walked up to her cautiously and spoke, asking if she was alright. With no reply, I knelt closer and tried again. Still nothing. I reached out to her and put my arm on her shoulder. So awoke, confused.

She introduced herself as Oriah, a squire among the Knights. I also introduced myself, but had no title to give. As we were getting acquainted, Sina, the owner of the music shop I was heading to came out and asked us to come inside to see some of her new instruments. Oriah gave me a look, and I couldn't refuse. I introduced myself to Sina, and she to I. I then headed inside the shop to look around.

As I browsed the shop, Sina was answering some of Oriah's questions about a drum. I later heard my name in their conversations and Oriah came to show me a drum she had picked out. It was quite beautiful, but I feel I didn't know much enough to truly appreciate it. Her and Sina seem to know each other, playfully taunting the other passively.

They played a song together. I can not describe the beauty and tranquility it inscribed into me. It reminded me of home, and of days long past. I simply closed my eyes and was lost in the music. This was also not what I came here for. It was much better.

As the song ended I immediately inquired about flutes, the instrument Sina had been playing along with Oriah with a drum. She helped me pick out a beautifully carved wooden flute, which I immediately bought. I don't know how often I'll use it, but it'll serve as a reminder of today.

Oriah pointed out that we were taking up too much of Sina's time as more customers came into the store. I felt embarrassed to be bothering her so much, and Oriah and I bade her farewell. Oriah then invited me to the Stone Gardens. I've never been there myself, and normally I'd be thrilled to finally be going. But she said she wanted to learn more about me. I can not lie. It's something I should learn, but for the moment, I can't. I can just hope she doesn't ask what I'm scared of her to ask. I asked her about the Gardens before she could ask anything about me, hoping to change the conversation topic away from personal topics. This isn't lying, it's selective talking. If she asks, I will answer. But avoiding the asking is the best way to not answer without lying.