[Issues found by Nightmare] Mors

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Mors

Postby Mors on November 9th, 2014, 10:14 am

Character Name


Appearance

Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Birthday: 16, spring, 491.
Birthplace: SunBerth

Appearance: Mors stands slightly taller than average, roughly 5'11" he has a lean build, made with hardened muscle. His eyes are golden, while his hair is long, shaggy and brown. Usually slicked back, it touches his upper shoulder blades. He has no visible scars and is other wise unremarkable. He is often found wearing a simple tunic, Trousers, boots, and sometimes gloves.

Character Concept

Mors is a lost soul looking for ultimate freedom. He usually tries his best to do the right thing, but is often finding he is losing a war with his inner desires. He believes strongly in education and that perfect practice makes perfect.



Character History

Orphaned at six, he lived on the streets on sunberth for two years before a chance encounter would end up giving him the opportunity of a life time. He was brought in by an Assassin Lord named Alex Rosh. Where he was trained in the art of killing.

Language

Fluent Language: Common.
Basic Language: None
Poor Language: None.


Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Long Sword 20SP, 15 RB 35 SP Competent
Acrobatics 10 SP 10 SP Novice
Stealth 10 SP 10 SP Novice
Lock Picking 10 SP 10 SP Novice




Lores

Helpful Lores: (Pick 2)
Lore: Blending with Shadows
Lore: Quickest Way to a Mans Heart, Third and Forth Rib.

Possessions

1 Set of Clothing
-Plain Grey Tunic
- Trousers
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Cloak
-Leather Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week's worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Gold Mizas
Long Sword


Heirloom: Bronze Mask

Housing

Location: Syliras

House: An almost empty apartment.

Image

Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM
Long Sword -15GM 85 GM


Thread List

Current Threads:

The Foundation

Completed Threads:

The Early Lessons
User avatar
Mors
Of the Mask
 
Posts: 12
Words: 18648
Joined roleplay: November 9th, 2014, 7:49 am
Race: Human
Character sheet

Mors

Postby Avarice on November 14th, 2014, 12:04 am

Image
Greetings.

I am Avarice, Assistant Storyteller of Sunberth. Upon reviewing your Character Sheet, I found several issues that are in need of rectification. These have been outlined below. Until you have made the adjustments, you will not be able to post IC so I suggest acting in a timely manner. Once you have finished, PM me so that I might review your CS again. If everything checks out, the intervention will be lifted.

 
Eye Color
As a Human, you may not have the eye color gold. The hues available to you are the same as those that are possible in the real world. In Mizahar, the only "Humans" with "special" eye colors are the Vantha and the Inarta (with gold eyes being a rarity for the latter). Please select another eye color.


 
Plausibility
There is absolutely zero chance that a six year old child would survive on the streets of Sunberth on his own. Sunberth is a city of anarchy, where murderers, molesters, and thieves roam practically every alley. Mors would have either died or ended up in the Orphanage.

Furthermore, there are no "Assassin Lords" in Sunberth; nor is it plausible that an assassin of any caliber would take an eight year old child under his wing. Especially in Sunberth!

Please make revisions accordingly.


 
Gloves
This is a minor hiccup, but in your appearance section it states that Mors can be seen wearing gloves. As gloves are not apart of the starting clothing, you will either need to purchase a pair or edit this particular line.


 
Skills
No starting skill can be over 30. Currently, your Longsword skill is sitting at 35. You will need to re-assign your starting points accordingly.

Furthermore, Lockpicking is a mislabeled skill. The correct skill is Larceny. Please make adjustments accordingly.


Ya Dun Goofed...But It's Fixable.
- Avarice, AS of Sunberth
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Avarice
Twister's Avaricious Minion; AS of Sunberth
 
Posts: 242
Words: 128126
Joined roleplay: September 18th, 2014, 3:12 pm
Location: Sunberth, Sylira Region
Race: Staff account
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