[Creature/World]Sikuli Peer Review

[Evalin]

Intro

The Sikuli are from a world known as Raldat, which is very similar to Mizahar in that it has various types of biomes and ecosystems. Knowledge of this world was quite common during the reign of the Suvan and Alahean empires, and to this day its [[astral coordinates]] 9937548585931312 can be found in many older books on the subject of summoning.

The Sikuli themselves are maggot-like worms that survive by consuming the djed of both living and dead hosts. Colonies will take up residents inside of a host or carcass and feed off of the djed until nothing is left. Often this causes a living host to die, and a already dead host to decompose at a faster rate. In ancient times, Summoners found another unique use for the creatures as well. By becoming a voluntary host with the Sikuli they could take part in a Symbiotic relationship in which both organisms prospered. The Sikuli gained a permanent home and steady source of djed which allowed them to grow and prosper more successfully than when they found more unwilling hosts, and the Summer gained a unique ability through his connection with the creatures. By infecting others with their hosted Sikuli the Summoner could slowly drain the djed of their enemies, but additionally when the Sikuli returned they carried with them bits and fragments of the infested individuals' memories.


History

Much like the common worlds, Raldat was used as a training world for Summoners during the beginning of the Alahean-Suvan war. Because of its similarities to Mizahar it was used a good way to compare how two worlds could become so different despite the traits that they shared. Most of the creatures of Raldat were identified and categorized, and for the most part were seen as simply interesting and possibly useful for specimens in other studies and research. It was not until the conflict grew on both sides of the war that a treasure was found in the form of a maggot like creature called the Sikuli.

The Sikuli were known by the Alaheans for some time before any practical use was found for them. They were believed to be a natural part of the worlds cycle of life as more often than not they were discovered in the bodies of dead animals aiding in their decay. By accident one day a researcher was infested by a specimen of Sikuli he had collected for study and discovered the creatures extraordinary hidden potential. He was put into isolation and observed for several days as he reported hearing voices in his head, whispers and odd thoughts that were not his own. His strength was slowly being drained away and over the course of 10 days his body decreased in muscle mass and he himself lost the energy to even walk as the Sikuli at away at his djed. Once more by accident an attendant also became infected by the Sikuli who were hosted by the researcher, and she too was put into isolation with the original host. The original host after this suddenly showed an increase in his strength and vigor and reported he now started to have memories he did not recognize, visions of people and places he had never seen before haunted his dreams and lurked just behind his eyelids. It was later confirmed that these memories were in fact shared between the host and the attendant he infected, carried by the Sikuli as they traveled back and forth between them.

The creatures fed on djed, and when they did they took with them pieces of memories and impressions from the organism they inhabited. The Summoner who played host to the creatures could then take those memories as their own when the Sikuli shared the excess djed they collected with their host. These little maggot like creatures quickly became essential in the struggle between the warring sides. Summoners who hosted the Sikuli were put into positions of interrogation where they used the creatures to infest, weaken and pull the memories from spies, traitors and enemy soldiers. The information they collected was invaluable, and so the Sikuli earned their place in Alahean history.


Appearance

The Sikuli resemble maggots in nearly every way. Their mouth parts are used for biting and chewing through flesh which allows them to wriggle through an organisms body with relative ease. Their skin secretes a clear mucus which neutralizes the bodies natural defense against foreign bodies, and their soft forms are well adapted for slipping through the smallest of spaces. In a single colony there are two types of Sikuli. The first is the queen who then gives rise to her progeny. She is the largest, some growing to upwards of a foot in length and a width of two fingers. Her children are much smaller in comparison, the largest about an inch in length while the majority are smaller than that. Beyond their size differences the queen can also be identified from her unique coloration. Workers are typically lighter colored with various spot or speckled patterns, where as the queen is darker, sometimes almost black, with no speckle patterns at all.


Behavior

Life Cycle

A queen can be born to another queen at any time during the life of the Sikuli. She is born just as the workers are, but instead of migrating and working inside of the host body she will instead burrow out, typically through the abdomen wall, and leave the host entirely. She cannot survive long outside of the body, a day at most while surviving on what little djed she can collect from the surrounding environment, but the queen gives off a unique pheromone which is very attractive to many types of organisms, prompting animal to eat her. When ingested she will travel into the stomach and intestines and there begin to eat at the lining of the organs as she first begins to feed on the hosts djed. Over the course of a few days she will begin to merge her own djed with the hosts, merging with the tissue itself and becoming more a part of the organism than a simple parasite. She will continue to feed and grow until she reaches full maturity within 10 to 15 days. Once fully mature the queen will begin laying her own eggs and her workers will travel throughout the hosts body, feeding and bringing djed back to the queen to supplement what she consumes within the intestines. During this process the queen suppresses the bodies natural immune system, preventing it from rejecting her and diverting necessary nutrition and blood flow to her nesting area.

The children, or workers, of the queen can live anywhere from a few weeks to a year. When these die they are simply consumed by the other workers, and their djed harvested and returned to the queen. The queen, however, can live for as long as the host and some have been known to survive after the hosts death to invade a new body. When the host organism dies the Sikuli begin consuming and decomposing its body. When the body is fully decomposed until nothing is left then the queen finally dies, or on very rare occasions invades another host body by burrowing into the abdomen usually while the creature sleeps near the decomposed remains of the previous host, or if the new organism comes close enough for full physical contact with the queen herself. This experiences is very painful, and most often the queen dies in the attempt, but when she survives the queen can go on to live just as she had before to produce more offspring and more queens to further their species.

While infesting a host organism the queen herself becomes as much a part of the hosts body as his heart and kidneys, becoming nearly impossible to remove except by dangerous surgical means, but even in this case the host will lose a portion of his own organs in the act. The workers, however, are not fully integrated into the hosts djed and so their levels can be controlled somewhat through the use of typical parasite medications and remedies. Anything that can hurt or harm the host can also hurt or harm the queen, but by extension anything that might hurt or kill the queen will also hurt or kill the host. The Sikuli make no distinction between particular races or organisms. If they can supply them with a steady source of djed and are organic the Sikuli can colonize them.

Queen and Worker Dynamic

The queen rarely, if ever, leaves her nesting area within the hosts body. There she has access to a steady supply of nutrients and djed she requires to survive, and any extra she needs her workers, called kuli, bring to her from other areas of the hosts body. The queen has absolute control over the kuli, and through the telepathic field she can direct them to areas of the host where the desired sources of djed can be found. Kuli are numerous and infest the entire host body, and more are produced every day to replace those that die or are killed by the hosts immune system. Unlike their queen, kuli are not an integrate part of the host organism's djed, and so they must produce a thin mucus while acts as a suppressant to the bodies natural immune system. It also aids in the repair of tissue damaged by the Sikuli as it travels through the host body, such as closing the holes in the skin when the Sikuli burrows in our out. However, it cannot aid in healing damage done externally such as a blow from a weapon or another animal attack. This repair mechanism only functions in a living host, becoming pointless and unnecessary after the organism dies.

Sikuli and their host

The Sikuli are, in a way, a jealous parasite. They do not like to share the space they have within their host, and so they will actually guard against other parasitic invaders that might do harm to their host organism. This defense can also stem to some forms of viral and bacterial infections, as well as foreign or corrupted djed that enters the body. For this reason those infested with Sikuli often have difficulty performing the magic of leaching. As soon as the new djed enters the body the Sikuli swarm and begin devouring it, making it unavailable to use in future spell casting. In the past some have tried to use leeching as a way to feed the Sikuli without infesting another host, but after a time the host would become severely ill as the queen herself rejected over consumption of the corrupted djed.

Over time the infestation will grow to such an extent that the host will no longer be able to function, their djed rapidly being devoured by the Sikuli until nothing is left. Thus if the host wishes to survive he has to find a new source of djed for the Sikuli to consume. Oddly enough the Sikuli are not overly picky about where the djed comes from, as long as it is a pure source and untainted. Often they take the djed from the host simply because it is convenient and easy, but if a new source is provided, for instance a surrogate host, the Sikuli have no qualms in crossing over into the new organism to feast on their djed instead and bring back what they gather to their queen.

The workers will always return to the original host after feeding on the djed of a surrogate. If they do not they will slowly die within the surrogates body as they are no longer connected with a queen which they require to survive.


Abilities

When the queen enters the body of a living host and integrates herself into their djed she forms a deep connection with the organism as their two separate djeds come closer and become one. Due to this sharing of djed the host and the queen share a weak telepathic connection, and while the Sikuli is not intelligent enough to speak she can give impressions to her host as a way of indicating the need to feed, the entrance of a foreign djed into the hosts body, and the birth of a new queen. The host can often hear 'whispers' within their mind which in fact is the collective telepathic field of the queen and her many children within their body. By monitoring the levels of these mental whispers the host can determine the state of his infestation, if they are excited or relaxed, in need of a new feeding or if they are frenzied for one reason or another. Only the queen can give true impressions to the hosts, the rest are simple whispers at the back of the mind and easily ignored.

The Sikuli live by consuming the djed of their host, but in order to prevent them from completely consuming his life he can provide them with a new source of djed on which to feed. When the Sikuli begin to consume more djed than the host can bear the host can find a new organism to 'infect' with his colony. All he needs to do is to get near and physically touch another creature and the Sikuli will burrow through the skin and enter the new organism wherever there is physical contact. Rarely does the new host willingly accept this and thus they usually need to be restrained before the transfer begins. The queen herself can on rare occasions leave her host to feed on a new djed source, but the process is more involved and requires the queen to extract herself from the hosts body and djed. Only through dire need, such as the host cannot provide enough djed to keep the queen sated, or through gentle coaxing by the host will the queen every do this, preferring to just let her kuli return with the djed and present it to her instead.

When the Sikuli travel back to the original host after a feeding they will often share any excess djed consumed with the host, and with it bits and flashes of memories are revealed to the hosts mind. If the kuli are the only ones sent into the victim the flashes are random, but if the queen herself goes and returns she can be instructed to search for a particular memory. Those memories brought back by the queen are more detailed and vivid, but the queen rarely leaves the safety of the hosts body and coxing her out can be a difficult challenge taking days of gentle prodding through the telepathic link. Unless the host willingly and consciously pays attention to the memories as they are brought to him they simply fade into the back of his mind, and eventually will dwindle to nothing and be forgotten as the hosts own memories push the foreign ones away. Through meditation many of these can be brought back to the surface, but more often than not the host will simply ignore them and let them fade until they are no more.

To a small extent the Sikuli can be controlled by their host's will through the telepathic link to the queen. The host can call the Sikuli to travel to a particular region of their body and to breech the skin, for instance when a feeding is required. They can also instruct the Sikuli to use their numbing agent or not so as to cause pain when they burrow into a victim. Doing so though opens the Sikuli up to the victim's immune system and often they do not return. Thus this is only done as a form of torture, and never to gain memories or djed from the victim. The queen can be bargained with through impressions in the telepathic field. She can be instructed to produce more of her children, and sometimes encouraged to exit the hosts body though she has to be returned within a few chimes or risk dying due to exposure to the outside world.


Summoning

The coordinates for the world Raldat are common enough and easy to find in any older book on the subject of summoning, but they do not fall under the classification as a common world. Because of the nature of the Sikuli their threat levels are relatively low unless they take up residence in a host, and so almost any stable portal can be used in their summoning. The most difficult part is finding the Sikuli. Having a familiar greatly increases the success rate of this summoning as it can enter the portal and search the immediate area. It is often easier to identify a colony that is still within a decomposing corpse, but sometimes they can be spotted while still in the living host, especially if the organism has multiple breeches in its skin and the kuli wiggling on its surface. A truly lucky Summoner may even find one on the ground near their summoning portal, which is the most ideal situation which very few can boast of every seeing.

The queen must be brought through the portal either by the Familiar or by the Summoner. If the queen is within the range of the portal the Summoner can simply reach in with his hand or even tongs and pull her out. More often than now, however, a whole decomposing corpse is brought from the portal for the Summoner to dig through in search of a queen. Once brought into Mizahar the queen must be stored in a sealed jar with either fresh earth and green or a recently deceased organism for her to feed on while the Summoner prepares her host. The queen can only be kept like this for a few bells, upwards to a day, before she will begin to wither and die, and so the Summoner must act fast. If he wishes to take the Sikuli into himself to form a colony he must carefully introduce her to his own body by either directly ingesting her (if she is small enough) or letting her burrow in through his abdomen. The ladder is highly discouraged as the process is highly painful and can sometimes lead to death if the queen burrows too far and ruptures another organ as she makes her way to the stomach and intestines. It is recommended if possible to find a smaller queen and directly ingest as this has the highest success rate.

After the first 10-15 days the colonization begins, and at this point the new Host will begin to hear the first whispers and feel the beginning stages of the telepathic link with the queen. It takes only 2 days for the colonization to be completed, and at this time the Host can influence the Sikuli in his body and at this time he will first notice the drain on his Djed.

Once a Summoner takes in a Sikuli colony as its host the process cannot be reversed unless by surgical means. The queen becomes an intimate part of the hosts body and djed, and she will live for as long as the host lives if not longer. While the host can loosely direct when and where the Sikuli move within their body they cannot prevent them from traveling everywhere they wish to go. That means it is very possible they will squirm under the visible skin and break the surface and reveal themselves at random times, which can be quite disturbing for those who see this and do not know about the infestation. Many who host these creatures face social isolation as their body becomes filled with wiggly creatures that disgust most who see them, but this is one of the risks a Summoner must take to fully utilize these amazing creatures.

When a new queen is born within the host the current queen will inform the host of her presence. At this time the Summoner can decide if he wishes to infest someone new, or simply let the queen follow its natural life cycle. Colonization works just like infestation. The Summoner simply has to have physical contact with the new host to be and direct the new queen to burrow into the person's body. The person can also ingest the queen directly if they are more willing for the colonization. The new host will undergo the same process as normal, just as the original did, and the Sikuli's life cycle will continue. [/list]

[Jaymz]

It's a very interesting concept, I like it a lot.

I like how it has the natural feel of an insect, with a queen controlling everything and her workers doing everything to keep her alive.

I especially find the concept that they come from an entirely different world interesting, and that you've got the coordinates for this world to be found in a traditional summoning book. The fact that they can be seen crawling around under the skin is, yes, disturbing. I know I wouldn't want to be around someone with worms.

What is the skill level one would have to have in order to summon a Sikuli? They are pretty powerful organisms so it would be assumed that no novice summoner could have summoned one, or there would be infected Summoners running around everywhere.

Overall it would be a good twist for those willing to subject themselves to a lifetime of having to feed these creatures.

I like it

[Evalin]

Thank you for the review!! Right now there is no reason why a novice could not summon them, but at the same time its better that they don't because they have a greater chance of making a mistake and becoming infected when they don't want to. Hopefully those who read and learn about them understand the dangers and disadvantages for carelessly summoning them, but if they don't hey they will sure learn quick

[Keene Ward]

Holy guacs. Ok, first thing you're not supposed to say in a critique is "I like it". So, I'll just say it looks like you've given this a lot of thought, as well as a heavy helping of creative horror. Choosing a form typically overlooked and bestowing it with an even more subtle ability is pretty much what I would expect from a mind bred in Sahova haha. Or that bred Sahova? Anyway.

First, here's a list of the grammatical issues or questionable use of syntax I caught as I perused it more carefully! They may not all be corrections, I may just be paranoid haha. Corrections are in order from the beginning of the article to the end.

"...are maggot-like worms..." Hyphen there, but you know, not sure. Opinion.
"...take up residence inside..." Resident to residence
...and a dead host..." An already dead host is a bit confusing
"In ancient times, Summoners..." comma
"...found a unique use for the -insert whatever nouns and adjectives for Sikuli-." Up until this point, they're just djed eating maggots, which... I dunno. It's kinda like basic maggots? Opinion.
"...a voluntary host with the Sikuli, the infected..." Comma, and change of wording to be more definitive. Opinion.
"...and the Summoner..." Summer to Summoner
"...with their hosted Sikuli, the Summoner..." Comma
"...of their enemies; additionally, when the..." Change of wording for flow. Opinion.
"...Sikuli returned, they..." Comma
"...infested individuals' memories." Possessive apostrophe.
"...common worlds, Raldat was..." Comma
"...to Mizahar, it was..." Comma
"...used as a prime example to compare..." Or similar, more authoritative sounding phrasing? Opinion. Also "a" to "as".
"...useful as specimens in..." For to as.
"The Sikuli had been identified and classified by the Alaheans some time before. They were assumed to have little practical use." Adjustment of word flow. Opinion.
"...of the world's cycle..." Possessive
"...of life; more often than not..." As to semi-colon, Opinion.
"The Sikuli's true potential was discovered after an accident involving a researcher becoming infected with a specimen he had collected for unrelated study." Rephrasing for flow, replaces "By accident one day..." Opinion.
"...of 10 days, his body..." Comma
"...mass; he himself lost..." semi-colon to hide from run-on, Opinion
"...Sikuli ate away..." At to ate
"Once more by accident, an attendant..." Comma
"...attendant become infected..." Removal of extraneous "also". Opinion.
"After the infection of the attendant, the original host suddenly..." Rephrasing for clarity, takes place of "The original host..." Opinion.
"...he now seemed to have memories..." Rephrasing for flow. Opinion.
"...not recognize; visions of people..." Semi-colon. Opinion.
"...infected. The secret..." Run-on.

"...when they did, they took..." Comma
"...organism they infected." Clarity. Opinion.
"...memories as their own..." Addition of "own".
"...little maggot-like creatures..." Hyphen. Opinion.

"...through an organism's body..." Possessive.
"...neutralizes the body's natural..." Bodies to body's
"In a single colony, there..." Comma
"...queen who gives rise..." Then removed, extraneous. Opinion.
"...in comparison; the largest..." semi-colon for run-on
"Beyond their size differences, the queen..." Comma
"...outside of these hues/colors/shades/whatever." Changed for flow. Opinion.

"A colony is typically formed when a queen enters the corpse of an already dead organism or is consumed by a living host." Rewritten for flow. Opinion. Takes place of "A colony is formed typically..."
"The queen travels into..." Removal of "then" for flow. Opinion.
"...the creature's stomach..." Possessive.
"...and matures. The process only takes a few..." Run-on, adjusted for flow. Opinion.
"...in the digestive tract of..." Tracks to tract
"...host, and when they hatch, these children..." Commas
"...rest of the body, taking over nearly.." "...infesting them and..." removed for flow. Opinion.
"...new living host, the queen inhibits..." Comma, removal of "first" for redundancy. Opinion.
"...the body's immune system..." Bodies to body's
"...several days, she not..." Comma
"...the being's body..." Possessive
"...mean the death of the host..." Flow, rewritten from "...mean to kill the host..." Opinion.
"...matured sufficiently, she lays..." Comma
"...her eggs, and her children..." Comma
"...through the host's body..." Possessive
"...where they begin to feed..." Removal of "also", Opinion.
"As they crawl, they secrete..." Comma
"...are working so the host..." Removal of comma
"...no pain; though at times..." Semi-colon to stop run-on
"...they create. The host's..." Run-on
"...feed on its djed..." Possessive
"Once infested..." Removal of "...and so..." Opinon.
"...worry about ever becoming..." Every to ever
"...into the host's body." Possessive
"Because of this, hosts who..." Comma
"...magic known as leeching..." Leaching to leeching
"...enters the body, the Sikuli..." Comma
"...other than the host, they will..." Comma
"...consume his own djed until..." Own djed added for clarity, Opinion.

"...their very djed, she..." comma
"...sharing of the djed, the host..." comma
"...connection. While the Sikuli..." Separation of run-on. Opinion.
"...to speak, she..." Comma
"...into the host's body." Possesive
"...mental whispers, the host..." Comma
"...infestation: if they..." Colon to list, Opinion.
"...consuming his life, the host can..." Comma, he to host for clarity, Opinion.
"...to grow hungry, the host..." Comma
"...near to and physically touch..." Addition of to for flow, opinion
"...creature, and the Sikuli..." comma
"Rarely do the new hosts..." host to hosts
"...rarer occasions, the queen..." comma
"At these times, she can..." Comma
"...from the host's abdomen..." Possessive
"...itself is done, the queen..." Comma
"...host. Only on rare..." Flow, opinion
"...after a feeding, they..." Comma
"...and with it, bits and..." Comma
"...to the host's mind." Possessive
"...into the victim, the flashes..." comma
"...and returns, she can..." comma
"...safety of the host's body..." Possessive
"...body. Coaxing her out..." Run-on. Coxing to coaxing
"To a small extent, the Sikuli..." comma
"Refraining from using their numbing agent opens the..." Rephrase for clarity, opinion
"...system, and often they..." Comma
"...exit the host's body..." Possessive
"...body, though she..." Comma, opinion

"...of the Siklui, their threat..." comma
"...of this summoning, as it can..." comma
"...area for the Summoner..." Summer to Summoner
"...that have taken up residence..." take to taken
"Once brought into Mizahar, the queen..."
"..Fresh earth and greens..." Green to greens
"...Summoner stores djed for her." Uncertain correction from "...stores stores her."
"...to form a colony, he must..." comma
"The latter is highly..." Ladder to latter
"...recommended, if possible, to find..." Commas
"...directly ingest her, as this..." Flow, Opinion
"...first 24 bells, the colonization..." Comma
"...new host will..." De-capitalization
"...time the host can..." ^
"...his body. His first need..." Run-on, Opinion
"...feed will begin..." With to will
"...Sikuli colony as a host, the process..." Its to a, comma
"...of the host's body..." possessive
"...within their body, they..." comma
"[/list]" <delete that

Alright! With that out of the way, let's see.
Because the creatures are bringing back djed, is this also a healing process? Can the Sikuli be used to heal degenerating tissue, wounded tissues, etc.? Can their secretions be harvested by philterers to create regenerative salves, or is it only able to be used by the body of an infected? Are there absolutely no specific poisons an individual could take to kill the Sikuli infestation, or are they immune to Miz poisons/can be killed only by that which would also kill the host? What happens to non-queen Sikuli left inside someone? What happens when a queen gives birth to a queen while residing in the host? <-can that even happen. Is the telepathic connection only between queen and host, or can the queen born of a host's queen interact with the original queen? Are there specific forms of prejudice that Sikuli infested Summoners face if identified (signs that read: do not touch, requirement to hide all skin, etc.)? You mention tongs, so I assume Raldat isn't "not dying" friendly. Is it possible to physically travel in the world, or is it restricted to familiar/golems/etc.? Can the Sikuli consume djed of non-living objects (wood, rock, whatever) or is the djed to small? Seeing as this is a novice accessible world, would it be relatively well known to the Summoner community, or still something difficult to find?

...I think those are my only questions I can think of now. I'm really excited to see these things become part of the world. I'm crawling with excitement.

[Jashkataal]

Dear Evalin,

Well done on the Sikuli write up. I found it both interesting and unique. I like the thematic ingredients inherent in the creature. And I think it adds, well and subtly, to the 'magic is dangerous' and can go horribly wrong -even for beginners.

That being said I think the Sikuli needs to be fleshed out or at least developed to a greater depth. What you currently have is well written but more questions arise than are answered I think. I'll go section by section and give some thoughts. And hopefully they will be helpful to you and for your fledgling Sikuli.

The Intro introduces us to the Sikuli well and certainly makes me want to continue reading. I think maybe you could add another example or line the intro with a tantalizing tidbit that you expand on further on. Maybe something about the spy-masters or dangerous people that make/have made use of these creatures. I think this is the part to really give us the epic example of a Sikuli symbiotic at the zenith of his or her power/prime/element. Make us want to be her!

Your History section is the first part of the write up that raises questions, at least for me. And it's only in relation to following sections. The short account of the original Alahean discovery is nicely done. I think you could take it one of two ways, either do away with it and keep the entry technical or flesh it out more with maybe a fuller explanation of the even -think the Kelderon Mimic and the Kelvics.

The Apparence sections I think gets a little questionable. Their appearance you describe is good and fits maggot creatures. But in the description it's mentioned that they can squeeze though small spaces. And I think that raises the question that is not answered in the write up, if the Sikuli -at least the workers or non-queen- can survive outside the host and traverse any sort of distance.

The section on Behavior probably needs to be split up into two separate parts. One on the Sikuli life-cycle, queen and drone, which frankly would probably a lot of questions. And you could go more in-depth with the creature itself, maybe added a few non-symbiotic uses. I like the slight open-ended-ness the founders have left to somethings to let people experiment, so don't feel like you have to give every exact use. It would also let you add a lot of the questions that Keen raises which are biological in nature. The second part could be their behavior from whatever view you like, stages of the life-cycle or psycholoicly etc... But I certainly feel there needs to be a second detailing the life-cycle of the Sikuli. Like how does the queen reproduce; is there a part of reproduction when the queen can be outside the body -cause I dont imagine there being so many dead animals around that the Sikuli could surive, they would have died out very fast, how could they get into live animals that might flee them etc...; what are the teeth for if they consume djed -maybe lose the teeth but keep the mucus as a slight repair mechanic and immune response suppressant; do they consume djed by eating soft tissue or by just absorbing djed itself?

So Abilities is really where things get wobbly for me. You sort of give us the modus operandi, in a fashion, of how the symbiosis works but it doesn't fit with what you've written above. In the account of the first Alahean discovery we are told the secondary infected nurse was sequestered and in this section you mention that the Sikuli return to the host after feeding. But in the account it seems like they transmit the djed to the primary host. It's nebulous and I think there is room here to detail just what you'd like to see of them. Personally I like the idea of transmission, it's easier, it makes them a little more subtle, and I’m not a fan of the teeth/mucus repair in just a few bells. I'd think a colony of minimal numbers would reduce a living creature to pudding with all their squirming and mucus or not biological disruption.

Summoning seems fine but depending on how you flesh out your little bugs would probably see some change.

Just from me, I really think we need to see the Sikuli in more detail. And I think that would clear up a lot of questions. And I love the thought of gaining memories from secondary infected but maybe to balance it depending on what you are thinking, limit it somehow. Like for example; say the dones transmit djed back to the queen, maybe the person with symbiotic relationship to the queen can poke around in the targets memories when the target is unconscious, because the drone in them includes them in the weak telepathic field. I'm not sure, I'm just throwing out ideas.

As it stands I think it is a good start just some of the things seem a little too complex. I think we need the complexity with knowing them from an OOC point of view. But I'd avoid the minutia of, and this is just an example, giving them teeth to chew their way through the body. Unless your conception of them is a ravenous parasite that devours it's host. Or that the queen can search out memories only if she is coaxed out of the host; because this seems like it doesn’t happen often and would be a poor and unreliable interrogation method.

But anyhow I hope this helps.

I love this idea, I just want you to know, so I really hope it comes fruition. I think this idea is a goldmine and if given the depth it needs, would work awesomely and synergistic with the setting and the magic disciplines as a whole. There really is so much potential here.

P.S. ~ For easy reference I've listed the questions/'things to think about' in my review as well as addition ones I have below.

What are the teeth for?
How do Sikuli asborb djed?
Is it tranmission or do they bodily return with djed?
What is their lifespan? [Are there set years or with amble djed are they biologically imortal?]
What is their life-cycle?
How does the queen make another queen?
What triggers a new queen to be produced? [age/lifecycle or species threshold or etc...]
Can they be outside host long or is it relatively short? [I see short presenting a problem of survival.]
How does the queen become part of the host, is it just djed related or does she physically become part of the host?
Is it possible to remove the queen, how about the drones?
What do you or the Alaheans call the primary host? What about those secondarily infected?
What do you call the drones?
What Races are compatible with Sikuli?
What Races are incompatible with Sikuli?
How does poison or disease affect them? [Think Blight]

[Nal'reim Qyan]

I told Evalin I would have a review for her up tonight, so here it is: I like the idea. In all seriousness, I will have a legit review of concept, thoughts, and such tomorrow. -Nal

[Meryl Blackmire]

You know what I like best about this? It's the perfect blend of science fiction and macabre horror utilizing elements that are seen in nature. I enjoy the fact that this was overlooked in common worlds, because it really demonstrates what rarely happens in writing pieces and that is for what little we know of mizahar pre valterian we know even less about those other off worlds. My favorite aspect of the creature is that it feeds on djed and that it steals memories that in turn haunts the victim, but it did leave me with a questions that didn't seem to be resolved in the write up.

Would prolonged exposure cause side effects to the host? Such as a state of confusion and forgetfulness like Alzheimer's ?how does it effect spell casting now that your tank is like half empty ?

How does the so sikuli defend itself against a host/victim that wants no part of the infestation? I could see a battle for control where the creature starts ripping apart memories to either slow or halt the unwilling hosts progression towards that goal. With an empathetic link there's no doubt the creature wouldn't know.

On leeching this is the one part that I didn't like because it doesn't express why the person can't leech, it just states that the sikuli is only capable of devouring the toxic djed preventing him from using it to cast new spells?. I thought about it, wouldn't the leecher be the only sphere of personal magic capable of preventing health issues by feeding the sikuli from outside sources other then himself? Stronger leechers can even override weaker leechers it might really piss the sikuli off but sometimes you gotta give a little to stay alive. I just see a fountain of possibility with that sphere unless of course the leeched djed kills the sikuli

[Evalin]

OK I have made all of these edits and added the additional information

[Nal'reim Qyan]

I told Evalin I would have a review for her up tonight, so here it is: I like the idea. In all seriousness, I will have a legit review of concept, thoughts, and such tomorrow. -Nal

Since everyone above me has hit the creature review pretty hard. I will focus on the world and magic (summoning) itself. As a fellow summoner I could end up using this world. These creatures are creepy and a great concept (In my opinion). So here we go!!! Raldat You state in the intro (and in the history) that Raldat is similar to Mizahar in the fact that there's multiple biomes, each with their own ecosystems. I believe one would assume that there is many creatures that roam the planet. With the information in the Intro and History I have came up with the following questions: Is the Sikuli that top of the food chain within every ecosystem, thus being the top of the food chain? With a vast majority of the creatures being “identified and categorized, and for the most part were seen as simply interesting and possibly useful for specimens in other studies and research…” does this mean that the sikuli are the other creatures that are worth attempting to summoning? Do the Sikuli thrive in every biome within the planet? Are they able to survive the severe cold or heat? I understand they require a host to survive long outside, but could the cold or heat be a defense from them because it is too severe for them to last even a moment outside the host? Summoning Just a couple questions that popped to mind as I was reading over your post. With the only way of gaining access to their creatures being through the use of golems/familiars/tongs. How does the leash effect these creatures? Does it apply to them? Or is it assumed the summoner breaks the leash to use them? Any defenses for not getting accidentally infected by the creatures? Such as thick leather or plated gloves? Is there any type of market on mizahar for the trade of these creatures? Mizahar Magics Can they be shielded against (assuming the shielder is skilled enough and has the required materials to make the shield)? How does leeching effect the creatures (not the host being the leecher but someone else finding the creatures or a host infected by them)? That is just things that were brought to my thoughts as I read over your thread. I am not sure if this is a good format or anything. As I have never done a review before, but like stating above I am also a summoner. A bigger selection of worlds and creatures to summon from would be great for me. Sorry if any of the questions were answered already, I read it before you made your edits this morning. Good luck with the rest of your reviews! -Nal

[Evalin]

Most of these questions really cannot be easily answered by editing the lore itself, so instead I will just answer them here

1) Raldat is actually a world that myself and someone else will be working on and doing a separate article for in the future. That means that most likely there will be other creatures that you can summon from this world

2) The Sikuli thrive in every biome as long as they have a host, but as a parasite they are by no means at the top of any food chain. They are survivalists. The climate in the area they are in can of course affect them like anything else, especially extremely cold weather. They die much quicker when exposed to the cold.

3) Its much like the vilemoss. There is the knowledge that a leash exists, but the summoner once he or she has one in his possession can very quickly several the leash as its more or less pointless.

4) As long as you do not have direct skin contact you should be safe from infestation.

5) Honestly that is not a question for me, but in the future for the individual cities and their DS

6) Like most things yes these can be shielded against. They do consume djed, but it would take a large number of the creatures in one place to do even close to the kind of damage say a leecher could do to a shield.

7) Leeching affects them the same way leeching affects any other living creatures.