by Orin Fenix on January 29th, 2015, 11:39 am
Unlike today, the day of the wedding had dawned with a cool breeze to alleviate the sun's rays. The young couple had spoken their vows, and the entire party had waited with a hush. Suddenly, Cheva’s marks appeared, signaling that this union had the blessing of the goddess. With a whoop of joy, everyone rushed around the two lovers, throwing the two onto the shoulders of the crowd and carrying them through the square. The newlyweds had protested, laughing the whole time, but only put up a token resistance. Soon, the dancing and singing started, along with other entertainments and general revelry. Some people swore that Cheva and Sivah themselves were there, but Orin hadn’t seen them and there was no evidence to support it. The gods themselves certainly didn’t seem forthcoming.
As he watched the two moving on with their lives with the blessings of their friends, loved ones, and the gods themselves, something unexpected stirred in Orin. If they can make a new start, why can’t I? I’m old enough and there’s certainly nothing holding me here. A slow anger started building in him. Looking around, he saw that the elders and leaders of the community had settled at their customary table. They were probably taking this rare chance to discuss Outpost business and how they could be furthering their own agendas.
Something compelled Orin to move towards them. Almost marching, he walked with firm purpose as he drew closer. They were completely unaware of his approach, too intent on their private conversation. Standing in front of them, he waited patiently for them to acknowledge his presence. That seemed to be the last item on their agendas however. A few glanced quizzically in his direction and frowned, but were quickly drawn back into their discussions. Bouncing up and down with nervousness, Orin felt his stomach twisting in a knot from anxiety. After what seemed like forever, but what Orin knew was likely only a few chimes, the pressure inside of him finally burst out as he shouted, “I’m leaving!”
That certainly got their attention. Orin suddenly felt pinned to the ground as their eyes swung to him and seemed to bore into him with their intensity. He gulped, blushing a furious shade of crimson, but gallantly plunged on, seeming to lose control of his own voice. “I mean, I would like, that is if you don’t mind, subject to your approval of course, and I know that it’s asking a lot, but would you be willing, and I hope I’m not asking too much which I think I’ve already said but anyway what I wanted to know was could I, after working for it of course, be given enough supplies and money, I mean, if there’s extras, to make my own way or at least could we start to talk about what I could be doing because I know I’m getting old and am a burden and I honesty think it would be best for everyone if…” Mortified, Orin clamped his mouth shut. He had been babbling. Now he remembered why he tried to speak as little as possible and why he always thought before he opened his mouth. Otherwise, he had no idea what would come pouring out.
Taking a deep breath he tried to collect his scattered thoughts. He seemed to have shocked his listeners into silence. Or else they were trying to reason out if there had been any sense at all in his earlier ramble. Before he opened his mouth again, he ordered his words and came up with what he hoped was a compelling speech. Not that he had any experience with giving speeches or compelling others. Mostly he was the one being compelled. Realizing he thoughts were going on a tangent, he stamped them down. His faced still flushed, and not in a pleasant way, he tried again. “What I meant to say is that I’m of an age where I should be thinking of making my own path in the world. However, I need supplies. I would be willing to work through the harvest season to pay off my debt to purchase them. After that, we would most likely part ways.” Running out of words, he tacked on a quick “Sorry to interrupt and thank you for you time sirs and ladies.” Then he bolted. He bolted in a way that he hoped looked dignified. However, it was definitely a retreat and probably just looked panicked. Despite that, he was feeling rather good about himself. He hadn’t known he had a backbone at all.
Coming back to the present with another swing of his scythe, he grinned. Whatever he had done or said had worked. While the whole sequence of events was, he would be the first to admit, a bit of a blur, he felt it had marked a turning point for him. He hoped he hadn’t burned any bridges with his performance but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care. In a strange way, he felt as if his entire life since his father’s death had been one long business transaction. He had agreed to be obedient and hardworking for as long as he was supported by the Outpost and its people. In exchange, they would feed, clothe, and raise him as they saw fit. Eventually they would send him on his merry with enough to survive until he could make a living. Now, it felt like both sides were fulfilling their duties and this was simply the culmination of three years of deals.
He realized that this might be a terrible callous and uncharitable thought to have about the people who had taken him in out of the goodness of their hearts. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been kind. They had treated him well, in their own way, in probably the only way they knew how. He in return had never ducked his duty or turned down any task they had given him. It wasn’t either side’s fault that the love simply hadn’t been there. Orin had been lonely for so long that he didn’t even realize what it felt like to be alone. He simply was. As the scythe rose and fell mechanically, all he felt was a grim satisfaction that as soon as the last sheath of grain was packed away, last piece of meat smoked, and last woodpile stocked, he would be on his merry way. It didn’t even matter that it would be winter and travel would be severely restricted. It would take more than a bit of snow and ice to delay him. Suddenly, the end of the field didn’t seem so far off after all.