Completed Nights of Feelings

[Ayviss]

WARNINGThere is rape in this thread. Nothing explicit, but if it's a sensitive subject for you, or if you don't like to read about it, please, don't read the thread. If I have crossed some boundary, please tell me and I'll edit the thread.

89th of Winter, 514 AV

Ayviss looked at herself in the mirror of her owner's bathroom, her hand running through her dark and wet hair. Her hair was normally soft, but right then, it felt like silk. Her face seemed healed from all the hardships, completely clean, completely white. Even the bags under her eyes had diminished, her restless nights turning into nights of calmness and without worries. She didn't need to worry about how early she would've to get up, or how tasks Hollard would ask of her. No, now, she wasn't even a true slave anymore. And she felt beautiful.

The woman always considered herself to be beautiful. Considering everything, all the stress she went through day by day, her appearance was something out of the ordinary. Not the most beautiful woman in the world, no, she wasn't so proud. But she was definitely beautiful, above average. But looking at her reflection, she felt beautiful. Knowing was one thing. Feeling it deep down her being, was very different.

Her life now wasn't something she could complain. In fact, it was what she had been striving for all this time. After that fateful day, twenty four days ago, when she "confessed" her feeling to Hollard, it had taken her owner two days to take her as his companion. Ayviss wasn't stupid. She knew he didn't love her, not like a fiancee, not even like a lover. But he liked her enough to take her as his companion, someone he could bed and treat well.

And she liked it. Her face twisted with disgust, but she needed to face it. She needed to be honest with herself, and the truth was: she was enjoying every moment of this new life. The soft bed. The room that didn't smell like mold. The great showers. The restful nights. Ayviss closed her eyes, biting her lip, trying to control herself. She couldn't cry, but she felt trapped. Betrayed by her own self, her resolution of escaping wavering. What if she didn't escape? What if, instead, she just decided to stay? She had spent her whole life trying to escape, her whole life on edge, unsure if she would survive to see another day. Didn't she deserve it?

A soft knock on the door, and Ayviss snapped out of her thoughts.

"Is everything alright?" Hollard's voice asked, and Ayviss looked firmly at herself in the mirror.

"Yes. I will be out in a minute."

Well, she didn't need to escape right away, did she? She still had time to think. Straightening herself, Ayviss adjusted the violet sleeping gown Hollard had given her, and combed her hair gently with her fingers. With a deep breath, she opened the door and smiled at her owner.

x

[Ayviss]

Hollard was waiting, two glasses of wine in his hands. He was smiling, so sweetly that an outsider might even believe there were true feelings between them. He offered a glass to Ayviss and she accepted it, smiling a little in return, and taking a sip from the dark liquid. She had found she was rather found of wine, the taste appealing to her senses, and the beverage not strong enough she would lose her senses.

Ayviss approached the bed, and sat besides her owner. She looked at his face, that used to disgust her so much, and wondered how much had changed in her for not scowling with disgust just by the sight of him. No, she didn't love, she didn't care, she didn't even like him. But the life he had offered her, that was attractive. When he stopped demanding that she woke up early to do chores and allowed her to truly live like a free person, she began to enjoy her life once again. It wasn't because of him. In fact, if he wasn't there, she would be even happier. But she began once again to think on what she would do after she left. Sunberth wasn't friendly. Sunberth would be a constant fight for survival. If she failed, even if only for a second, she would be dead. It would be a day of fighting after a day of fighting, and, once she tasted what living without worried was like, she didn't want to go back to a life of fights.

With a start, Ayviss noticed that nothing had changed in her. She still hated Hollard. She still wanted him to die. And she was still afraid of the world she would face outside. And, once someone offered her an easy way out of this fear, Ayviss held on to it as if she would drown otherwise. She felt confused, lost.

"You think too much." Hollard breathed in her ear, and Ayviss fought the urge to push him away.

His hand touched her knee, and Ayviss bit her lip. She had taken it very well until then, but, right then, she really couldn't. She needed to think. She needed to bring back the hated that motivated her to escape. The problem was, she didn't feel like she needed to escape. Not anymore.

"Don't you… Couldn't we let this for another day? Please, Jack?" the name, like always, felt strange and weird in her mouth, like she had eaten an rotten apple.

Her answer, however, was a surprised face, quickly changed into an angry one, and a push that made her fall back in bed, her head hitting the headboard. She couldn't hide the gulp of surprise and pain that escaped her mouth.

x

[Ayviss]

Ayviss could feel the man on top of her, his hands closed around her wrists, pressing her down on the soft mattress of the bed. Her face twisted in pain when one of her owner's nail pressed against her skin.

"You're hurting me." she stated, twisting her body a little, trying to free herself.

Hollard only closed his hands even stronger around her wrists, and she had to bit her lip to keep quiet. Ayviss let her head fall, turning her head to the side and looking at the hands that pressed hard against her wrists. The realization hit her too hard. She wasn't enjoying a free life. She was just a slave, like she had always been. She was still the propriety of her owner, and that was what she would always be.

Ayviss felt foolish. Her own mind tricked her into thinking things would be alright. No, they would be. But they would be when she had escaped. The only way she could be free was to be her own master. It didn't matter what Sunberth, or any other city, would throw against her. She had survived her whole life, and she would keep on surviving.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a excruciating pain, and she couldn't hold the scream that left her mouth, nor the involuntary twist of her body, nor the tears that fell from her eyes. It had never hurt so much before.

Once again, she felt stupid. How had she believed, if only for a moment, that she was living a good life? She had became just as weak as the slaves she had seen in the Slaver's Row, just as pathetic as them. But she was different. She would raise again, like she always did. She would find strength.

Closing her eyes, Ayviss tried to let her mind wander far away, but the awareness of her situation wouldn't leave her. She had the strength to fight back, maybe. But what if she hadn't? She needed to endure. She had to.

x

[Ayviss]

When she opened her eyes, Ayviss saw the two shadows she had come to know. Akrar was still, unmoving, like usual. However, unlike all the other times Ayviss saw the shadow in the room, it wasn't looking at her. Ayviss couldn't feel its stare, and it surprised her. Akrar was a somewhat twisted shadow, but maybe this was too twisted even for him. Or maybe… It was because it was her. Maybe, just maybe, the shadow liked her.

Malak, on the other hand, was moving around, muttering things Ayviss couldn't hear. It felt like the shadow was restless, not bored, but truly bothered. When it noticed she was looking, Malak growled.

"Sing to me." Ayviss whispered. She saw how the shadow stopped moving abruptly, as if surprised with the request, and closed her eyes when she heard the whispered song in the strange language that the shadows communicated with. It was beautiful, in its own way, and it made her relax, finally able to make her mind go far, far away.


"You're still my slave. I like you a lot, you understand, right? But I need you to obey to me."

Ayviss had to take every bit of hate, every bit of her being that wished vengeance and destruction to the man, so she could smile to him, raise her hand, and touch his cheek.

"I know." she whispered back, her disgust growing inside her until she had to leave the room. She needed it, or else she would end up throwing up. "I'll clean myself, so we can sleep together."

Hollard nodded, as if nothing had happened, and she walked to the bathroom, wincing with the pain. When she finally closed the door, she looked at herself in the mirror, seeing the fire burning in her eyes.

"You'll kill him!" Malak growled, and Ayviss felt, just for a tick, the need to laugh. The anger of the shadow made it obvious that she had, after two entire seasons spent together, managed to gain the shadow's friendship. Maybe not enough to ask things of it, but still enough that it cared for her, even if just a little. It felt nice, to have someone to count on, even if it wasn't entirely true.

"Yes, Malak. I'll kill him." she smiled to herself in the mirror. "I'll make him regret every tick of his life."

"We will be watching." Akrar answered, and Ayviss' smile grew.

Her freedom, of soul and body, was approaching.

x