I Need Help

[Phaylix Whitevine]

P H A Y L I X

I'm only asking this out of pure desperation.

If you know me, you may know my CS has been denied for some time now. All because of a thread that was deleted anyway. Now, there was a discussion between me and Gossasmer, whom I apologized many times to. To no avail. I haven't been able to post in a week, and I have sent numerous messages to the founder, apologizing and quite literally pleading with her about re-approving my CS.

To no avail.

I know of the recent hardships with her mother, and I understand her having to take time off, and she has my deepest sympathies. But, I'd love to play. It's why I'm here. I want to play, badly.

I'd love some ST assistance, and player assistance is well appreciated. I can see some of the veteran players sighing and typing their replies now. I understand, and I will take your comments gracefully and respectfully. All I ask is to not be so... sarcastic. I've been on websites like this, and have seen more seasoned contributors throw down judgement or passive-aggressive insults to new people simply asking for something.

And, to Goss, this is NOT a dig at you. This is simply a public plea for me being able to role play once more.

So... I need help.

Thank you.

[Ssezzkero]

Really, the best solution in Mizahar as well as life is patience. You know that Goss is tied up in real life, and so she REALLY has bigger things to worry about, you are the very last thing on her list.

And also, don't take it personally. Don't take anything personally actually, it's the internet. If a ST tells you to do something, just do it. Most of the time the reason will be explained to you, and if it is not, do it anyway. The STs job is to help, but you also have to do things yourself.

So honestly, just sit tight, take a break and wait. Do what Goss tells you to do because she tries to help people more often than she gives up on them but, she just wont sugar coat it for you, so you need to be able to take it.

[Caelum]

Phaylix, you're concerned about the wrong thing by worrying that you won't be able to play soon. You should be concerned that your priorities, sympathies, and desires are terribly messed up.

You communicated that although you're fully aware a Founder is dealing with a family matter and has numerous responsibilities and interests both on and off site, you feel your desire to play right now is more important and further that you should because you have harassed her with apologies for some slight.

That's not cool.

I'm not being sarcastic and I'm trying not to condescend, but you desperately need to gain some perspective and actual genuine empathy for your fellow gamers and human beings.

Finally, one week is chump change.

[Khida]

It's been said, but I'll chime in and say it again: Cultivate patience. It will benefit you even after this has passed. Life happens to everyone. Sometimes you'll wind up waiting days and weeks (and weeks) for thread partners to reply. Someday, they might be waiting that long for you. This is a fun game and a great pastime, but we all have other priorities. We have to; great as it is, Miz does not put roofs over our heads, food on our plates, or address any of the other basic necessities. And we all need to respect that for everyone. That you still really want to play, despite hitting a bump in that road, is fantastic. Hold on to that, and don't get discouraged, because perseverance will take you through a lot of things in RP and in life. It's not what you want to hear, but exercising patience here really is the best thing you can do.

[Phaylix Whitevine]

P H A Y L I X

Oh, Caelum. Your idea of "helping" me... I have empathy. It's a natural human emotion. I'm not a cold, unfeeling bastard who only cares for himself. No.

Get that image out of your head.

I. Just. Want. To. Play. This isn't a thread about finding empathy or waiting for a week to roleplay. I understand these things, I UNDERSTAND having an ailing family member. It's horrible, and I understand the process. I feel for Gossamer.

I need someone to help me get my CS approved. A Storyteller, someone, anyone. But what I do not need is someone telling me to find empathy. I can find it. I know EXACTLY what it is like, Caelum, so I simply have no need for you to tell me how to find empathy. It's unnecessary and condescending, like telling a five-year-old to let little Suzie Smilecakes play with him, so she's not left out.

I am not five. I don't need self help. This isn't an "I need help with psycological issues" thread. This is an "I require assistance for something fun, a life away from my own" thread.

Finally, a week without something you absolutely LOVE can feel like months. Sitting by, watching. Waiting for some reply, ANY reply that you can play again, that everything is all good.

That is what I need help in, not feeling for another human like the sociopath asshole you make me out to be, Caelum.

EDIT:

And who do you believe you are to tell me to get empathy, Caelum? How dare you? How are you going to make such a grandiose, BS assumption out of ONE post, from someone you've never met, never even SPOKEN to before this? What makes you so high and mighty to tell me off? Because I've been waiting a whole week? Oh, I'm soo spoiled, I probably couldn't kast a day without technology, right?

That's a mighty fine high horse you're riding, Caelum.

Thank you.

[Caelum]

I'm sorry that's what you took away from my advice. I'm sure that an ST will have time to help you in the way you want eventually. For the record, I don't think you're a sociopath. I think you're a normal person who is being immature and selfish. I now have an understanding of the underlying issue and I also hope that you find a way to resolve it.

[Phaylix Whitevine]

P H A Y L I X

Immature and selfish.

I'm not trying to sway you from your opinion on me. I'm just saying it's certainly not true, and nowhere near accurate. Immature? Because I've publicly asked for assistance for a matter that shouldn't have happened in the first place? Selfish? Because I asked Goss to help me resolve an issue that should've been long resolved?

I'm going to burst a damned blood vessel just trying to wrap my head around your warped, misguided reasoning.

[Orin Fenix]

First of all Phaylix, I think we all get that it sucks not to be able to get to do what you love. I don't think any of us would be on this site if we didn't want to write. And not being able to do so would be a problem for any of us.

That being said you're certainly not helping your case by lashing out at members and sending out a wild cry for help when you already know exactly what you have to do, which is wait. You were repeatedly told that your character concept was problematic right from the get go and that this might happen, so the fact that you got your CS locked shouldn't come as a surprise to you. And if Gossamer says that she's not unlocking it until you've complied with her requests, then as the person who not only founded this site, but also devoted years of her life to it, then that is her prerogative. Finally, she's obviously got a lot on her plate, both in real life and for Mizahar, and she doesn't need this from you or anyone else. She needs to spend this time with her mother, and every second she spends on another one of your posts or PMs is not only time she can't spend with her mom, but also time she no longer has to actually work with you on fixing these problems.

The STs are criminally overworked. They don't have time to police every single infraction or comply with every single request sent their way. Moreover, I don't think, even if they could overrule Gossamer, which they probably can't in this instance, that they necessarily would for you. They're not going to stop helping other players who have put in the time and effort and waited patiently for their responses just to figure out your issues. So, while I do sympathize with what you're going through, I do not think taking this whole affair public was the wisest choice. It's not going to get your CS approved any faster and it's just going to create animosity, for obvious reasons. I would suggest that if you're not willing or able to either work within the system or take the time needed to establish a character that is acceptable under the clearly set out guidelines, maybe you should go elsewhere. The only advice I can give you is one that you've already rejected out of hand which is to be patient and wait your turn. I know this is tough for you, but that doesn't mean you can or should react the way you have.

[Ssezzkero]

Oh man. I thought I'd quote this real quick: "I understand, and I will take your comments gracefully and respectfully."

*Sighs* Yeah? Well... Alright. I want to be angry with you but I can't, you refuse to listen. It's not even that you are trying to object someone's opinion, you are outright attacking them for giving you the advice you asked for.

That reaction right there is why no one can help you. For the record, I'd say you are the only person who saw what Caelum said as 'rude'. Seriously? You asked for help, she told you to be patient and a little more aware of the fact that you are not Goss's problem right now.

Acknowledging that someone has greater things to worry about than you is a mature thing to do. Saying "it's not that she's busy taking care of her mom, it's that I want to play" IS extremely immature AND selfish, and refusing to accept that only amplifies how childish you are.

Another thing to keep in mind, aside from the importance of patience, is respect. You seeked the help of senior players and when they disagreed with you you insulted them, specifically Caelum, who is by FAR one of the few that are the most helpful and active players in tis community. Don't give me anything about 'respect is earned' either. You should give people respect until they give you a damn good reason not to be. Disagreeing with your victim-play is not one of them.

*sighs* Yeah, no. I encourage you to take some breathes, do some yoga or feed some ducks or something, and take a step back. First, you must have done something wrong to earn this much attention on your CS in the first place. You were quite literally wrong in the FIRST place. Rules are rules. If you aren't going to follow them and then shoot the person who enforces them, you might as well leave.

Chill. Seriously hun, hop in a freezer or something.

[Gossamer]

Thanks for the kind and sensible comments everyone.

I'm sure by now you're getting the impression why hes not been reinstated yet. He's the guy I was talking about that was bombing my pm box with demands to be reinstated. The apologies weren't sincere and the buttkissing was thick. I tacked a day onto his 'I will unX you monday' for every PM he sends me. He's added one more day so far just yesterday after adding quite a few more before. I'm sure he'll add more. He'll be allowed to play again when he learns some manners and to calm the hell down. There are more important things to do than say post on an account he was blatantly god modding/metagaming from. Heh. Call me a jerk. But he hasn't seemed to learn anything.

And its not like he can't play. He can post all he wants with another account.

It has nothing to do with my personal situation, though that has been rough. I've been commuting two hours daily to get someone up from bed, back to bed, dressed, showered, fed, etc... and I'm pretty low on patience and have had virtually no sleep. Tomorrow is an MRI... I'll be spending the weekend (the part of it Im not working) with her. And monday is an IN-HOME care interview to possibly get some help. This has been very hard... very hard indeed. I don't need someone like this guy bugging me on this site just because hes been bending and stretching the rules (as you've all seen - you reported him to me) willy nilly and considering it 'making a name for himself' here on the site.