Winter to Spring (Khara)

by **Zhol** on March 17th, 2015, 3:19 am

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Once again Zhol found himself unable to breathe, but this time it was a blissful experience. It would be a lie to pretend that he hadn't imagined this, feeling Khara's skin pressed so close against his; but his naive imagination had been so lacking. The softness of her chest against him; the realisation that the gentle rhythm he could feel against his skin was the beating of her heart; it was almost too much for his mind to comprehend.

Acting more on impulse than intent, his hands found the curve of her hips, familiar ground that he had felt beneath his fingers before. His lips broke away from hers, an intermittent trail of gentle kisses meandering it's way down her cheek, her jaw, her neck, and onto her shoulder. Closer she had said; closer he could do; his hands slid slowly up the skin of her back, ascending tentatively towards her shoulder blades, relishing the feel of skin he had never felt, coaxing her body to press against him even more.

They had been right: Khara's other intentions, they weren't ready for that, if for no other reason than the fact that they would have missed this. It would have happened of course, clothes would have fallen away and they would have ended up like this; but it would have been a step on a journey that they were eager to rush down. This? Now? This he could savour, this he could immortalise in his mind, memorizing every feeling and sensation. This was something he would never have thought of, never have realised; his sheltered knowledge of intimacy had never prepared him for how intense and wondrous and addictive the simple act of being as close to someone as it was possible to be.

His lips lingered just above to her collar bone, his hesitant breaths brushing across her skin. "I like close," he whispered, his hands spreading to encompass as much of her back as he could reach, fingers caressing gently across her.

by **Khara** on March 17th, 2015, 3:36 am

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A soft murmur left her lips, a tiny sound caught between a gasp and - well Khara wasn't sure what. The closest she could think was a content sigh she would let leave her on those days when she had waited bells upon bells just to finally feel the comforting embrace of Zhol's arms around her. But that was half planned where this, this soft utterance of enjoyment, was entirely unexpected. Even more so as it happened again as his hands spread across her back and the kisses he placed against her skin lowered.

Her fingers slowly returned to the base of his neck, gently grazing against his skin in small featherlight patterns. It felt selfish in a way, to have wanted this so badly and was utterly frustrating when her body and mind decided to fight her at every turn. She wanted to feel his hands against her, wanted to experience the feeling of being able to physically sense every breath he took without their clothing obscuring the subtle motions. Now that it was happening, however, it was almost overwhelming; in a good way, Khara decided, but still surprisingly intense. It took a few moments for her to realize she could feel Zhol's heartbeat as well, was astonished to find it as rapid as her own, how they echoed not only the experience of something new, but seemingly each others as well. Maybe that was only her imagination, though.

Another small sound left her as she pressed herself every so slightly more against him, removing what little space lingered between their bodies. "I love you," Khara repeated, knowing she could never possibly say it enough, feeling like there was something more that should have been stated, and entirely at loss for what those words could possibly be.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on March 17th, 2015, 3:44 am

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To pull away from her, to pull away from this, was a greater agony than Zhol had ever experienced, but he needed to. He needed his reply to those three words not to be murmured into her shoulder, not to be whispered as part of such an intimate embrace. His fingers slid downwards, following the curve of her ribs until they rested gently against her sides. His lips retraced their steps, unable to resist the soft string of kisses that peppered her jaw. He stopped himself from reaching her lips though, forced himself to resist that temptation; but the temptation to glance downwards, to glimpse that no longer forbidden sight; he did not have the willpower to resist that.

His arms pricked with anticipation and urging, the desperate desire to move, to climb upwards, to feel more of what he had not; and for a fleeting moment he almost did, almost slid his fingers to enfold the curves of her chest, almost dove his lips back to her shoulder to rain kisses on her more intensely this time. How he stopped himself, how he restrained himself, he did not know.

Except he did. It was those three words. "I love you," he whispered back, his eyes finding hers, staring deep into the beautiful pools of gold.

A smile tugged at his lips, not lustful or wanting, simply overjoyed. A contented breath stumbled out of his lungs. "You are so beautiful," he breathed, the smile broadening. He stoke a kiss, quick and eager, from her lips. An almost nervous shadow of a laugh escaped, but then it faded, the happiness giving way to something far more intense and meaningful and sincere.

His brows softened, a slight shimmer glazing across his eyes. "Thank you," he added, another gentle whisper.

by **Khara** on March 17th, 2015, 4:01 am

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"For what?" She questioned softly, no play or teasing in her voice, only the barest hints of confusion.

Khara had done nothing that required his thanks, or gratitude, or anything else as much as she could tell. If anything, she felt she should be thanking him. He was allowing her to be more herself than she ever managed. It was because of him that she felt confident enough to even be able to be comfortable with this. She had been terrified that one day they would reach a point where she would accidentally shy away from a touch, and that involuntary movement would cause the start of a downward spiral she would never recover from. But it had never gotten to that, this wasn't like that. If anything she found herself wanting to press herself more into his hands, to feel more of the warm gentle caress against her skin that made shivers run up her spine.

It wasn't even just that, however. He had been more than patient with her, understanding at every turn, worried of course, but never made her feel like there was anything wrong with her. Zhol hadn't questioned any time she had accidentally flinched from a touch, had never recoiled away from her in response as if he had done something wrong. He made her feel normal, better than normal. No matter how bad a day she was having, no matter how the darkened clouds of her own mind threatened to down her out, there had always been Zhol, patiently waiting to gently lift her spirits and help keep her above the floodwater of her own insecurities. All she had to do to earn it was tell him how she felt and it didn't nearly seem like enough for all that had been bestowed upon her.

"Y-you don't have to thank me for what I freely do, Zhol. You never do. Just being here with you is worth more to me than anything else." Her lips sought out his again in a gentle kiss as one hand moved from the back of his neck to softly cradle his cheek. "I like this, I like being here like this. But I don't need this. We don't need this. All I need is you, and having that? Having you in my life? There is nothing more in the world that could make me happier. Don't thank me for doing this or being here, it's like thanking me for breathing."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on March 17th, 2015, 4:14 am

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Zhol leaned against her hand, more contentment sighing it's way from his lips; a slight twist of his head allowed him to place a kiss against the inside of her wrist. Despite how at peace he felt though, his words were still timid as he spoke.

"I do not wish to take you for granted, or to seem as if I am."

That was his greatest fear; or part of it, at least. He was frightened that the more Khara assured him that her love was unconditional and forever, the more she insisted that she would be with him always, the closer he would become to accepting that, to believing that; and the more likely it would become that he simply expected her affection, rather than continuing to strive to earn and deserve it. He had watched it happen back in Endrykas; watched the way that not only his father, but his brothers too, and almost every other man that he had known, had let their romantic passion burn low and then fade entirely. His sisters, and his brothers' wives, were not wooed, or romanced, not doted upon, not reminded of how precious they were, not told how their smiles lit up not just the room but the entire horizon; a new sunrise every time joy crept onto their faces. He was terrified that one day that might be him; that he might slip into bad habits, that he might wake in the morning and not realise how utterly blessed he was; that he'd forget that he was the luckiest man alive.

That was what Khara deserved, more than anything else: not just a man who was kind, gentle, attentive, doting, understanding, caring; she deserved a man who, when he counted his blessings, would always begin with her; a man who saw winning her heart as the single greatest and most important achievement that his life could ever contain. With all his heart, and all his soul, Zhol hoped and prayed and begged that he would never stop being that kind of man.

Almost by reflex, and completely without thought or intent, his thumbs began to gently stroke across her skin. His eyes didn't deviate from hers, unwilling to run the risk of any part of his meaning being lost. "It is not this that I am thanking you for, not this -" He stumbled for the word; intimacy seemed too loaded with other meanings. "- closeness, but what came before it. I know that this is difficult for you, I know where your reluctance comes from, and I -"

He swallowed against a lump that began to form in his throat. His eyes fell away, but only so that he could lean forward, the gentlest of kisses left against her lips, then another against her cheek, before he allowed his own to brush against hers, their heads loitering side by side. "Thank you for trusting me. You may not think I need to be, but I am grateful just the same."

by **Khara** on March 17th, 2015, 4:50 am

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Her arms moved to softly wrap around him in a delicate embrace. Each word Zhol had spoken was considered and for a moment she rested her head against his shoulder, her arm climbing to trail her fingertips softly alongside his neck. A few breaths were taken to collect her thoughts, to try and decipher what she wanted to say into the language they both were capable of mostly speaking but understanding. A small tug of a frown flashed as she realized she couldn't. The right words would be found to some extent, sure, but not how they needed to be said.

"I did not trust you when we first met," She began softly, trying to keep each thought clear as it left her lips. "Not those first horribly mistaken chimes. But every moment after I have. The first night I spent in your room, I trusted you. When I first took you to the Wind Tower, I trusted you more. Wh-when... When I... I..."

Her voice faltered and Khara forced herself to take a deep breath as she slowly lifted her head and placed a soft kiss just below his ear. "...Needed you, after what happened to me? There was not a soul in the world I trusted more. But saying I trust you now? That is a lie." Khara paused once more and let a small sigh leave her, hoping he understood all she said and the tone and sincerity behind it.

"It's a lie because it doesn't nearly express it. It's a lie because it doesn't even come close to the level of absolute faith I have in you." Gently she pulled back from him, but only so she could look him in the eye once more. "You are the single person in my entire life that has made me want to be something better because you make me feel like I can be.I do not trust you, Zhol. I don't have to. I know you will do what is right every time when I am concerned."

Another hesitant bite of her lower lip came as she continued to gaze into his eyes, lost in the shimmering sea of brilliant green that if she had to pick only one thing to see for all the rest of her days would be it. Gently her arms moved from around him, a hand reaching up to gently brush against his cheek and softly trailed back down his chest, her other hand leaving where it had come to rest against his neck to join as she softly pushed her fingertips up and across his shoulders, gently shoving away the shirt that he still wore. She slid the fabric away down his arms, her fingertips trailing behind, softly running against his skin. "I will be true, this is difficult for me, yes. But you make it much easier by just being you."

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on March 17th, 2015, 4:57 am

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Zhol moved his arms away from her to allow the shirt to slip from him completely. It was strange how much more naked and exposed he felt with out it, and how unfair and imbalanced it seemed to feel that way at all, all things considered; his bare arms paled into insignificance as Khara bared her soul. He was glad of the distraction the strange confliction provided though, holding his emotions at bay just enough to thwart their attempt to escape his eyes and flee down his cheeks. He may not quite have understood all the words, but he understood enough.

The sentiment, heart-warming and tear-jerking as it was, had competition for Zhol's focus. The feel of her fingertips ghosting across his skin sent shivers and shocks through Zhol's body, and quickened his heartbeat once again. His skin tingled with a mix of anticipation and memory, each part of him screaming their demands to be the next to experience her touch.

A thought occurred to him; an admission that sucked the moisture from his throat. It wasn't something he had withheld on purpose, yet it was something that he should have said but never had. "I have told you before that -" He faltered, stumbling over his words. "That I have never been with a person before. What I did not say was that before you, I -"

He felt ashamed to say it almost, even though he had no reason to. "You are the first person I have ever loved. You are the first person I have ever kissed. The first I have ever... touched. You are the first I have ever wanted to, and, if I my deepest wishes come true, you will be not just the first but also the only, for everything that I ever do."

by **Khara** on March 17th, 2015, 5:24 am

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Her lip was bit again, this time to hold back her own small wave of emotions at his admission. She had never guessed, never imagined that someone like him would never have stolen the heart of another before her. Khara had assumed there had been at least one other girl, back in Endrykas, someone he never spoke about out of gentle concern for her feelings. But that she was the first? The only? That had never once been considered and now that it had been spoken, she never had felt more humbled, or flattered, or so very undeserving and lucky. There were things she hadn't told him as well, more from shame and confusion at the time it had all occurred than anything else, but now she couldn't think of anything better to say. He had told her, after all.

"I had things taken from me, first things that I did not want to give," She paused and quickly brought a hand to his cheek as she watched the discomfort begin to form in his eyes as she spoke. It was an uncomfortable topic and yet it never really left her, she doubted it was much different for him. It wasn't a place to linger, though. There were far more important things Zhol needed to know. "But in the baths? When I kissed you? I had never done that. And when you kissed me? I had never done that either. He... He didn't... You did."

Both of Khara's hands lowered to gently rest on top of his as she slowly slid them up along the sides of her body, fingertips gently guiding him despite her slight squirming as they passed over her lower ribs. "And this? This is new too. He- He did things, put his hands on me. But not like this. Not with the care you do, not with the way you always appreciate each and every moment of it."

Her eyes left his as she tried to formulate exactly how she felt, how she wanted to say things that sounded like a promise as well as a plea. "I never want to love anyone else and I never want to stop loving you. I never want to kiss anyone ever again other than you. I never want anyone else to ever touch me."

She could feel her breath quickening as she considered what came to mind; hesitation in the moving of his hands only lasting long enough so that she could kiss him again. It was different this time, still gentle, still soft, but with an intensity behind it that she hoped could reflect the single thought that she couldn't bring herself to say for the scope of it almost seemed too much no matter how right it sounded, I don't want anyone or anything but you for the rest of eternity.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

by **Zhol** on March 17th, 2015, 5:45 am

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The beat of his heart doubled with every fraction of an inch that his hands climbed under Khara's guidance. Disbelief and panic stampeded past, herded from his chest by another emotion entirely that he couldn't ascribe a name to. His lungs struggled for breath as he felt Khara's ribs pass beneath his fingers, and then failed entirely as new soft curves passed beneath them. If he'd had any breath left, Khara's kiss would have taken it away; as it was he felt like he was falling, and flying, and drowning all at the same time, too many emotions, too many elations, too many sensations to possibly comprehend or describe.

It occurred to him that less than a day before he had averted his gaze, denying himself so much as a glimpse; and now here they were beneath his fingers at Khara's willing invitation, his hands almost by instinct shaping themselves to the pristine curve of her breasts. What was expected of him next he did not know, but Khara's words lingered in his mind: I never want anyone else to ever touch me. No one else: only him. This feeling, this pleasure, was something that no man but he would ever know.

He leaned into Khara's kiss, adding a new wave of intensity of his own, his hands slowly enveloping her breasts, fingertips brushing gently across the surface of this newly discovered part of his love. The part that differed from the rest fell under his touch, a teasing circle traced around it's edge, nothing guiding Zhol's actions aside from curiosity. A stuttered sigh escaped him, an irresistible smile upon his lips again. "I will always be yours," he breathed, his lips falling to Khara's shoulder again, his kisses creeping slowly up the side of her neck, "For as long as you want me."

by **Khara** on March 17th, 2015, 6:05 am

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The first gasp that had tried to leave her was lost in the kiss they shared and it was only once Zhol had moved his lips to her shoulder and neck that another was able to leave her more freely. Khara couldn't say why the clipped intakes of air were happening, or why each soft caress only brought more. She had guided Zhol's hands to where they now softly touched her, after all, it wasn't surprising. The sensations that it was causing though, that he was causing, that was what had been unexpected.

"I-is forever okay?" It was the question she already knew the answer to, the one they had answered and repeated to each other almost continually, but Khara couldn't help but ask just once more. Even if it did leave in a slightly coy manner that she was surprised to hear come from herself. There was certainly a nervous air to it as well, but then again that seemed to encompass everything they were doing.

Khara didn't wait for Zhol's obligatory response, feeling instead the need to add her own piece to the promise, even if it too was something she had told him before. "A-and I will... Will always be yours."

At what point Khara's hands had left his, she wasn't sure, but they roamed back to Zhol's arms, fingertips lightly tracing along the hinting of relaxed muscles and strength that only added to the comfort every time his arms found their way around her. The same sense of safety and security was still felt, though, and every kiss he placed against her skin made her feel all the more certain of that fact.

Every movement was cautious, slowly taken to try and avoid ending the moment too soon. Khara tried to silence each small gasp that left her, the last thing she wanted Zhol to think was that he was hurting her or causing any distress when it was the exact opposite that was true. As each kiss moved up the side of her neck she slowly moved her head to the side, exposing more of herself to him. It was the only thing she could think to do to show him that all his advances and each curious touch were entirely welcome.

"Nari" | "Common" | "Pavi"

Closed Winter to Spring (Khara)