Recombination... (Closed to Van)

[Dhanya]

Timestamp: 87th Autumn
Tagged: Vanator

If she had hoped for anything, it had been that the kids would behave on the day they were to meet their father. She still remembered the power a good first impression could have, almost as powerful as a confusing first impression was. It was not meant to be. Ouin had been up with colic all night and Kat was cranky because she hadn't had enough sleep or possibly even enough to eat because that hadn't gone well either. Life had been so much easier at Riverfall.

But... she didn't want to stay there forever. She wanted the kids to see the world while she was there to see it with them. Be well-traveled or something, whatever the cliche was. Dhanya wanted them to have choices and not bloody colic.

"Sometimes it seems the going is just too rough." Dhanya sang quietly, though she had no idea if singing worked anymore, patting Ouin's back and hoping he'd poop or fart or anything and just relax. "And things go wrong no matter what I do. Now and then it seems that life is just too much, but you've got the love I need to see me through."

The tent was less messy than it could have been. She'd managed to fold a few things up and put them in a corner. So long as no one snooped too far it would look reasonable. She felt so nervous though it would've been worse if she hadn't been so tired. She was not looking forward to their conversation, whether he knew already that the children were his or if he didn't believe her. It was not going to be a fun conversation, especially not after how their last goodbye had gone. She didn't want to think about it ever again.

"When food is gone you are my daily meal. When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real, you know it's real." She sang quietly.

And finally it seemed that Ouin's cries faded to whines and Kat could sleep, which was all that Dhanya wanted to do. She wasn't going to though. Not yet.

Just as soon as he arrived and left, hopefully very soon and then very shortly and then... She had no idea.

[Vanator]

Vanator's young cousin came running at him. The girl did that on occasion, more so when she was a little child, charging him and leaping into his arms. But the brunette waif did not have the same determined look in her eye as she approached, nevertheless, the older cousin had his arms ready should she launch into his arms. Brihana skidded to a halt before the broad horseman, a very serious look on her face. Looking up at him, she spoke excitedly in a barely contained whisper. "Pygmy is here, she wants to meet with you. She is staying near Kayiri's pavilion!" Bri had taken a shine to Dhanya when the Kelvic lived with him, even loaning her some clothes. Dhanya would teach her songs. The Drykas girl also loved to watch the goat-girl shift into her animal form. The pre-teen bounced, surely anxious to see Pygmy again. Vanator knew this was a visit he had to make alone. "Maybe you can go and see her later dear, I will tell her you would like to see her. Thank you for so faithfully delivering the message, I will tell her you did a good job." With a pat on her head, Vanator, turned and strode off. He considered stopping to let Kashik and Khiara know that he was going to see her, but Dhanya had run off once, and he did not want to lose the chance to air things out with her. His heart had jumped when he heard Dhanya wanted to see him. He had had a sick feeling in his stomach since Khiara and he saw her at the market and she ran off. Vanator was confused. Startled to see her in Endrykas, confused why she held babies, worried that she just ran off. Surely seeing him with Khiara would have been difficult for her, but something in his gut told him there was more. After stopping a few people, Van was directed to a small travel tent set up near the pavilion. He paused outside, his nerves dancing. With a deep breath, he lifted his voice. "Dhanya, its me."

[Dhanya]

She'd fallen asleep for a moment, sitting up. Dhanya felt the worse for wear for it, too. Naps weren't what they used to be and the sudden rush of adrenaline from hearing Van's voice was enough to make her feel sick. Just like the first days she'd spent away from home, waking up by the road in a quick panic, feeling as if she couldn't move.

Of course, there was also the fact that hearing his voice still gave her a reflexive desire to follow it slavishly. It was a twinge, nothing like what it had been. Still annoying though.

"Come in." She said, trying to keep her voice steady.

He probably looked good. Dhanya felt like crap, probably looked it as well, with dark circles under her eyes and bird's nest hair. Her triumphant return had, as most plans she made, not turned out as expected. She kept Ouin in her arms, since he seemed happier there than on the blankets and she didn't want him fussing more.

"Hello."

She didn't want to say it was good to see him or any other small talk she could think of. He'd hardly be happy to see her, given the terms on which they parted. Dhanya wondered why, when she had so many important things to say, she could feel so petty. So vexed at his life compared to her life when the only thing that really mattered was the future. Focusing her thoughts was so hard, she wanted to follow her gut but her gut was wrong. Humans seemed to find it all so much easier. Why was that?

"I need to talk to you about some things."

The kids, she needed to talk about the kids. Why hadn't she said that?

At least she'd started. He was there, she was there, in one conversation it would be done.

[Vanator]

Vanators stomach was already in knots as he stood outside the tent, which then erupted into violent flutters when Dhanya's voice drifted out to him. He pushed himself to pull aside the tent opening and step inside. Then, there she was. It didn't seem to matter to him that she looked exhausted, or that her hair was messy. All he saw was Pygmy. Not Dhanya, who he never really knew, having left immediately after he gave her the name. Pygmy. Memories flashed through his head, accompanied by a tightening in his chest. He remembered the first time he had seen her, playful goat one minute, naked, carefree woman the next. She was the first Kelvic he met. He recalled hearing her sing at the tavern, husky, soulful tunes that poured from her heart. Mornings waking up to hear her humming on her side of the tent, nights laying alone, knowing she was just a few feet away. His body failed him, gut wrenching, heart swelling in his chest. Gods, he missed her. Her candor, her humor, her temper and her friendship. He had loved her, no matter what she or anyone said. He made love to her that night because he loved her, drunk or not. He asked Kashik to marry him the next day because he lover her too, but it was not right. Not right then. He had not given Pymgy and he a chance. He did not regret marrying Kashik, but he did regret not waiting even a little while to examine what he and the Kelvic really had. What was done was done, but the mere sight of the woman caused the pressing guilt and regret to surge up like a boiling pot within him. With a child in her arms, Dhanya gave him a simple greeting, his equally plain "Hello Pygmy." He replied instinctively. He meant to use her new name, but her old name just came out. He held her gaze, the eyes of a goat that he had learned to look into with affection. Then his eyes dropped to the infant in her arms, then to the one sleeping on a blanket. Their presence still confused him, unable to determine how they could possibly he hers. Vanator did not want to press her, or cause her to withdraw, so his response was open and sincere. "Yes, of course, please."