I promise I'm not that scary..She was dumbfounded. Was she really so transparent that he could see through her so easily. She was stunned for a moment, and didn't even react other than to blink when Garland hugged her.
"So... Why are you a girl? Is this like morphing or something? It has been a while! I have so much to tell you, my friend! Where are you headed? I can accompany you, just like old times!"He barely gave her a moment to respond before he stepped aside and offered her a place to walk beside him. Shook out of her stunned state, she took the spot beside him and walked slowly with him through the Bazaar. She reverted to her mind racing, a million thoughts going through, thinking of a way to explain this away. Her mind settled on the only rational way to handle this. Just tell him.
"I... I am doing alright." She said slowly, trying to think of exactly how to explain the situation without scaring off the man.
"It's kinda loud out here, we should talk later inside, we should go eat or... umm... you don't eat right, I forgot. Sorry." He blushed, an action Bakar was perfectly fine with losing. If she had blood pumping through her, she would have been blushing since bumping into the squire.
"Oh! I've got really big news and I've got to share it with you later!""No, no. It's alright. We can search for something. And we can talk at length about this, while you tell me this big news of yours." They continued walking until they found a place to sit and rest, and Bakar started explaining all.
"I'm sorry it's been so long, Garland.. I really wasn't expecting our next time meeting would be under these circumstances. I guess.. I guess it's time to explain to you. This is not a form of morphing.. Since.. 'birth'", Bakar put emphasis on this word, trying to convey that the start of a Nuit was the start of a new life. "Nuit are born rotting." Her voice trembled. She was scared to continue. She herself was uncomfortable with what she did, she didn't want to tell Garland how she has lived all these years. She figured that he'd at least earned it however.
"Have I ever told you how old I am?" She asked, already knowing, but speaking anyways, just to ensure. "50.. That's just since I became Nuit. 50 years I've been this.. parasite." She squeezed the last word out vehemently. She hadn't wanted it to go like this, her sharing her full feelings towards her life, but she couldn't help herself. Words just flew out of her mouth against her will.
"I take the vessels of the dead and use them for myself." She trembled as the final confession finally came to a head. "I live in a corpse that is not my own." She swung her arms up and gestured to herself. "This women you see before you is not me. Nor was the man you knew before. I am never me anymore. I am a parasite, bound to flesh that denies my existence. That's why we rot. These vessels know that we do not belong and do all they can to force us out. We let the dead rest not, and they are angered for it."
At this point she was fuming. Fuming at the man who made her this way, long dead. Fuming at the Gods who allowed such a cruel fate. Fuming at her life, and the way things had become. And finally, fuming at herself. Her weakness. Of being unable to end the cycle of her undeath. She was shaking now, unable to stop. She spoke quietly, telling Garland this, but not really wanting him to hear.
"I am dead, Garland. I should not be of this world. I am unnatural." She was crying at this point. These are the thoughts that were at her mind recently. Either foremost, or at least silently festering in her subconscious. These thoughts finally given words. She felt some relief for this. But more than that, and above all, she felt anger. She had grown to hate herself, and it showed. She was tired of this life, and was lost. She was unsure what lay ahead, and waited silently, awaiting Garland's cries of surprised and disgust. Awaited the screams of "Monster!" That would undoubtedly come from his lips. Awaited her first and only friend, in years, to denounce and scorn her.
She wanted to get up and leave. To not even give him a chance to reply. But there was still the tiniest spark of hope in her mind that was not giving up, no matter how large the dark became. It fought with all it's might, and it was holding it's own against the insults of parasite and monster. This was the one thing keeping her here. That hope was willing her to stay, surely,
surely this man would understand.
OOCOooookay then. That went on longer than I thought it would. So sorry! D:
