[Peer Review] Painting [Skill]

[Firenze]

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1) In IV.I Color Creation, I would make the picture way bigger I can't understand it.

Doubled the size for better readability.

2) I would add the following to this section:
IV.II Mixing Colors
When a painter is ready to mix colors they first need to think of what desired color they want to achieve. Basic knowledge and ability of differentiating colors will be needed in order to prepare a painter for creating beyond just the basic color set. While simply mixing a primary with a primary can yield a secondary color there are also varying shades, tones and tints that can also be obtained. (Refer to chart on right)

Added reference note.

3) Under V. Painting tools, why not talk about finger painting?

Added in "Finger painting is always an option if brushes are not available."

4) Under V.1 Subtrates, I feel like you need to explain what a primer is and how to make a primer too.

Primers are actually called Gesso in painting however I have added: "Also know as a basic primer, it is used to seal and prime canvas prior to painting, simply made of rabbit skin glue and chalk." To help clarify this under the Gesso information.

5) Under V.1.1 Nuts, Can the nut be rotten or spoiled and still work?

Good idea! I have added: "It is not advised to use rotted, rotting or deficient nuts as this can change the effect and color of the pigment due to the mold and chemical make up of the organic matter. Fresh picked or freshly fallen is always the best choice to use for creating a more pure pigment. " to help clarify for novice painters.

6) Under V.1.2 Second method/ Third method, huh? I am from Mizahar... what is pH? whats sodium carbonate? I think these need to explained without using modern science terms, because you then go on to use Mizaharian terminology (chimes, bells, etc.) I would deter from using science terms completely in this write up but I didn't look for anymore.

This information is more for OOC than IC, it's informative to help the writer understand the process so they can then try to translate this, not directly, to Mizahar. I actually tried to make it as simplistic as possible and as close to how mizaharians may be able to create it in the world, sodium carbonate is soda ash (which I added a little side note) that can be derived with filtering salt (sodium bicarbonate) in a cooking method, I have rough explanation on there on how to create it. I've also added an additional note under 'Making Pigments' to help clarify: "There are a few pigments that will not only require a master painter but an additional skill of Philtering to accomplish as they are very complex and demand knowledge in chemicals to produce."

7) Under VII, Instead of using the real world terms for the styles and techniques why not give Mizaharian original names?

Going to leave as is at this current point. Thank you for the suggestion!

Add a easy to reference list for the availability of pigment supplies in each domain/region and the price depending on how hard it is to get.

There is a list for pigments already within the text and availability within the regions under the section IV. Gathering Colors.

9) Add some mizahar original magical colors and what type of ridicules things one must do to get them.

I will work on this and request them through the HD and add at a later date

10) How do I combine magic with my painting? And why would I?

Information added under VIII. Magical Uses! Thank you for the idea!

11) Who are some famous painters in mizahar? Where do I get training in each region?

Most names wouldn't be known for painters as the world is still at a point in which it is trying to rebuild, any paintings prior to the Valterian would have been destroyed or lost and with that the names of the painters, sadly Perhaps there could be some new painters, perhaps PCs?, that could develop a name for themselves in the future!

[Karin]

So, here goes! My notes are a little all over the place, so PM me if I mention somewhere and you don't know what I'm referring to. First of all though, I'd like to say that it was a very informative write-up, and I've learnt a lot about painting from reading this! Especially the bits about making the pigments. Top notch.

1) Maybe make a note of why you're choosing to use non-Miz terms? I see why you're doing it this way, but it might be useful for players to have a reminder to make their own, Miz-friendly terms. Especially as measurements like grams and chemical names wouldn't be used, and that would be easy for someone to accidentally use in a thread, for example.

2) In the section about which items can be used for making blue pigments, Eyktol is sometimes spelt without the 'y'. This is not at all a huge deal, I'm just, unfortunately, a pedant.

3) Yellow: (3) Lead-tin: Would the average Mizaharian know lead is poisonous? I'm not sure, and it might be wise to say so.

4) Neutrals-brown: (2) petrol/oil: Does Miz have this kind of oil?

5) It has been brought up in the past that it's best not to make lore/skill write-ups specific to cities, as there could be clashes of opinion with STs. Perhaps where you mention city names, it would be better to simply state a habitat or general region where you find animal/plant/mineral used for the colour.

6) V. Painting Tools
'making fluid' - I might be wrong, but should this reading masking fluid instead?

7) V!. Making Pigments
A small reminder of what pigments are supposed to be would help greatly. Maybe: 'Creating pigments (colours) can be a simple or complex process.', would be enough. That's up to you though- perhaps it's because I'm sleepy that I got confused. xD

8 ) VII. Techniques and Styles
Terms such as Expressionism and Impressionism- first off, as it's only a few hundred years after the Valterrian (sp?), I'm not sure if painters would have developed these styles, or at least not as a group and not given them these specific names. It might be better to list these terms and styles more as examples rather than as actual styles... My main reason for this is that I'm pretty sure things like Impressionism was really coined and made by the Impressionists, a group of painters who all painted similarly. With the amount of painters being small in Mizahar, and the focus more on survival rather than on extravagant living, I would say that groups of painters wouldn't really be a thing, and that most Miz painters would have their own, unique style, all differing from each other.

That paragraph (wot I wrote) doesn't make much sense I know, but hopefully you get what I mean? I think it's a good idea to use those terms as examples, but not as dead set this is a definite painting style, type thing.

9) XI. Binders and Emulsifiers
How do you create the actual paint then? I may have accidentally missed this, but do you make the pigment, then stir in the binder? Or make the binder and add the pigment? Should you stir it or let it sit? Can you combine the binder and pigment and then use it the day or indeed season later, if it was in a covered container?

10) Perhaps there should be a little mention of what shop-bought paints, binders and pigments would normally be made of, and what quality they would be. That's just a suggestion.

For the most part though, I'm mightily impressed with your skill write-up. Good luck in the founder review when it gets there! And you're probably already aware of this, but make sure to expand on the history of painting! ^_^

[Attunement]

As soon as some of the expansion on the history is made and following changes are made into consideration I can see this making it to founder review. I will further review once changes are made.

[Firenze]

Thanks Attunement, I'm still in process of working on this. It's a rather large article and I have a few things I'm reworking to make it more Mizaharian. Should I just PM you once I've finished?

[Attunement]

That will work (PMing me that is.)

[Firenze]

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1) Maybe make a note of why you're choosing to use non-Miz terms? I see why you're doing it this way, but it might be useful for players to have a reminder to make their own, Miz-friendly terms. Especially as measurements like grams and chemical names wouldn't be used, and that would be easy for someone to accidentally use in a thread, for example.

Added reminder at the beginning of the article that all information therein is OOC only and to utilize it properly.

"[Reminder: This is OOC information. When utilizing in character make sure to use Mizaharian appropriate terms. Some measurements, chemical names or information may/will not be known/used.]"

2) In the section about which items can be used for making blue pigments, Eyktol is sometimes spelt without the 'y'. This is not at all a huge deal, I'm just, unfortunately, a pedant.

See #5

3) Yellow: (3) Lead-tin: Would the average Mizaharian know lead is poisonous? I'm not sure, and it might be wise to say so.

Added notes to 'Gathering Colors' section for any minerals, plants or materials that can be harmful.

"Note: Unless taught or discovered through personal means, the difficult way, mizaharians will not know that any minerals, plants, insects, animals, organic or inorganic material hereinafter will poison, harm or kill them."

4) Neutrals-brown: (2) petrol/oil: Does Miz have this kind of oil?

Oil is a naturally occurring from organic compounds. I would assume some form is available, mostly commonly crude and simplistic in nature. Added this information:

"Oil is naturally occurring from Organic compounds. Some form may be achievable, mostly commonly crude and simplistic in nature. The coloring from the breakdown process is naturally brown and can be used directly in oil painting. Can be acquired in most regions."

5) It has been brought up in the past that it's best not to make lore/skill write-ups specific to cities, as there could be clashes of opinion with STs. Perhaps where you mention city names, it would be better to simply state a habitat or general region where you find animal/plant/mineral used for the colour.

Removed specific areas, kept generalized temperates and areas. I have specified areas on back up or if anyone wants it added later on for their region it can be edited.

6) V. Painting Tools
'making fluid' - I might be wrong, but should this reading masking fluid instead?

Fixed wordage

7) V!. Making Pigments
A small reminder of what pigments are supposed to be would help greatly. Maybe: 'Creating pigments (colours) can be a simple or complex process.', would be enough. That's up to you though- perhaps it's because I'm sleepy that I got confused. xD

Added in 'reminder' under pigments

8 ) VII. Techniques and Styles
Terms such as Expressionism and Impressionism- first off, as it's only a few hundred years after the Valterrian (sp?), I'm not sure if painters would have developed these styles, or at least not as a group and not given them these specific names. It might be better to list these terms and styles more as examples rather than as actual styles... My main reason for this is that I'm pretty sure things like Impressionism was really coined and made by the Impressionists, a group of painters who all painted similarly. With the amount of painters being small in Mizahar, and the focus more on survival rather than on extravagant living, I would say that groups of painters wouldn't really be a thing, and that most Miz painters would have their own, unique style, all differing from each other.

That paragraph (wot I wrote) doesn't make much sense I know, but hopefully you get what I mean? I think it's a good idea to use those terms as examples, but not as dead set this is a definite painting style, type thing.

This was already in the process of being reworked to be more 'Mizaharian', with permission I've changed basic types of painting to the ancient language and made them more personable to Miz.

9) XI. Binders and Emulsifiers
How do you create the actual paint then? I may have accidentally missed this, but do you make the pigment, then stir in the binder? Or make the binder and add the pigment? Should you stir it or let it sit? Can you combine the binder and pigment and then use it the day or indeed season later, if it was in a covered container?

Added in clarification after the sentence, "The pigment is what gives paint its color, the binder holds the pigment, and the emulsifier is what gives the paint flow." of "All three of these ingredients need to be combined to create paint."

Also add in "While oil paints after being created can have a longer shelf life, compared to the short-lived watercolors, it is not recommended to make more paint than is necessary. However, this can cause a problem for long-term projects as it can be difficult to match colors to the same specification." To the end of the sentence to help with clarification on shelf life of paints post mixing.

10) Perhaps there should be a little mention of what shop-bought paints, binders and pigments would normally be made of, and what quality they would be. That's just a suggestion.

It will depend on the region that the player is in on what would be available to purchase, I didn't add in any purchasing details as most items should be available in the Price List.

11) Who are some famous painters in mizahar? Where do I get training in each region?

Famous painters would need to be added as they are developed. Training is dependent on what locations are available in the area and if there are any NPCs/PCs that are able to train in the Painting skill.

Best Review! Thank you for your in depth input!

[Martini Elwood]

Maybe a little blurb on how meditation can be helpful? Calming oneself and being able to clearly picture the design in the mind might help getting it on a canvas. Most artists has a process, maybe add a little something about a generic drawing process. Such as rough sketch, line art, etc. If you do decide to add a generic process, maybe also include coloring? Like base layer, shading, the like? Also, great work on the article! I can't look for spelling errors since I'm on mobile, but I'll come back when I'm on my laptop.