88th Winter, 515AV
The Azure Festival had always been one of Amelia's favoured celebrations in Lhavit. The fact that the festivities lasted all day and night certainly contributed to this, but it was the extravagence of it all that really made the young woman swoon. The dresses, the masks, the gifts, the food, the drink! It was all so luxurious and Amelia loved it all.
Correction: Had loved it all.
Because now, Amelia Trisswell was not wearing a custom made dress or mask, and neither was she enjoying the finest foods and drinks the festival had to offer. Likewise the gifts she had received were not plentiful or luxurious, but rather plain and far and few in between. In fact, she had received just one gift from her mother: an old artist's set that Joanne Trisswell had not even touched. It had been purchased for her mother by Ameia's father - a present laden with guilt as at the time he was engaging in an adultrous affair that would ultimately take him and his money away from his wife nad legitmate daughter. It was his fault that Amelia could not enjoy this years Azure Festival as much as she had previous years. She had a mask (one she had handmade herself) and a dress that was a year or so old. She hoped that none of her fashion-conscious friends would notice her re-wearing of the outfit, but paranoia and anxiety nipped at her heels at all times.
The problems that haunted the young woman might have appeared those of the wealthy to anyone else, but in Amelia's mind it was all respective: to a poor man, having no food for the day was the biggest worry. For the rich (or the previously rich), having no custom-made dress was equally as terrifying and dangerous to one's life. She failed to see the imbalance in what she found concerning to what actually mattered.
But regardless of her privileged lifestyle or viewpoint, Amelia was miserable. She smiled kindly to her friends and laughed along with their stupid jokes, but she was itching to leave their company. She knew what they desperately wanted to discuss: who had spent the most on their dress, whose dress was made with the most luxurious silk, who had received the most impressive gift. But instead they meagerly spoke about everything else, and Amelia knew why --to save her from embarrassment and envy. If that wasn't enough, the cautious glances drove her insane. She was not some injured puppy who had been abused, and yet they looked at her with such pity in their eyes. She was their friend, but they were trying desperately to avoid talking about all those things they usually discussed at great length.
The more Amelia thought of it, the more she wanted to drink to drown her misery and pop pills to forget the hideousness of it all. But drugs, in her opinion, were the pastime of the wealthy - or at least the frivolous. She now felt she was neither, yet the desire to find a dark-eyed stranger in a dark-eyed alleyway grew and swelled within her until eventually Amelia declared: "Must dash, got to see the family." She turned on her heel and strode away from her friends, head held high but expression grim (thank the Gods for the mask!).
"Did you see the dress she was wearing?"
"I know, poor lamb. So sad. I wish we could throw a ball or event to raise money for her, but..."
"I know, I know. It's so hard to be charitable when there's so many other things to spend our kina on!"
The Azure Festival had always been one of Amelia's favoured celebrations in Lhavit. The fact that the festivities lasted all day and night certainly contributed to this, but it was the extravagence of it all that really made the young woman swoon. The dresses, the masks, the gifts, the food, the drink! It was all so luxurious and Amelia loved it all.
Correction: Had loved it all.
Because now, Amelia Trisswell was not wearing a custom made dress or mask, and neither was she enjoying the finest foods and drinks the festival had to offer. Likewise the gifts she had received were not plentiful or luxurious, but rather plain and far and few in between. In fact, she had received just one gift from her mother: an old artist's set that Joanne Trisswell had not even touched. It had been purchased for her mother by Ameia's father - a present laden with guilt as at the time he was engaging in an adultrous affair that would ultimately take him and his money away from his wife nad legitmate daughter. It was his fault that Amelia could not enjoy this years Azure Festival as much as she had previous years. She had a mask (one she had handmade herself) and a dress that was a year or so old. She hoped that none of her fashion-conscious friends would notice her re-wearing of the outfit, but paranoia and anxiety nipped at her heels at all times.
The problems that haunted the young woman might have appeared those of the wealthy to anyone else, but in Amelia's mind it was all respective: to a poor man, having no food for the day was the biggest worry. For the rich (or the previously rich), having no custom-made dress was equally as terrifying and dangerous to one's life. She failed to see the imbalance in what she found concerning to what actually mattered.
But regardless of her privileged lifestyle or viewpoint, Amelia was miserable. She smiled kindly to her friends and laughed along with their stupid jokes, but she was itching to leave their company. She knew what they desperately wanted to discuss: who had spent the most on their dress, whose dress was made with the most luxurious silk, who had received the most impressive gift. But instead they meagerly spoke about everything else, and Amelia knew why --to save her from embarrassment and envy. If that wasn't enough, the cautious glances drove her insane. She was not some injured puppy who had been abused, and yet they looked at her with such pity in their eyes. She was their friend, but they were trying desperately to avoid talking about all those things they usually discussed at great length.
The more Amelia thought of it, the more she wanted to drink to drown her misery and pop pills to forget the hideousness of it all. But drugs, in her opinion, were the pastime of the wealthy - or at least the frivolous. She now felt she was neither, yet the desire to find a dark-eyed stranger in a dark-eyed alleyway grew and swelled within her until eventually Amelia declared: "Must dash, got to see the family." She turned on her heel and strode away from her friends, head held high but expression grim (thank the Gods for the mask!).
"Did you see the dress she was wearing?"
"I know, poor lamb. So sad. I wish we could throw a ball or event to raise money for her, but..."
"I know, I know. It's so hard to be charitable when there's so many other things to spend our kina on!"