Completed A Business Proposal

(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role playing forums. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)

Known as the Celestial Seat, Nyka is a religious city in Northern Sylira. Ruled by four demigods and traversed by a large crevice, the monk-city is both mystical and dangerous. [Lore]

A Business Proposal

Postby Alija on May 31st, 2016, 8:35 pm

Image
3rd Spring 516

There was a sharp knock on the door to the back room, Alija rising to open it. She had been slouched in the forge, trying to think things over. She had had a dream, that night, about her mother. She couldn’t remember much, apart from the chains, and she shuddered at the memory. Deep inside, she felt her mother still out there, and hated herself for not looking. But in truth, she was scared. Terrified. Terrified of her aunt, who would pick up on her asking around, terrified of the places it might take her and terrified of what might wait for her.

She creaked it open slowly, wondering why Ciara hadn’t tended to this customer. He was an older man, with greying hair and nimble fingers which ran a key over his hand in a constant loop. She recognised him - it took her moment to remember why, but then it clicked. She had bought that lock from him, for the chest for Laat. Her mind lingered on that for a moment, wondering what had happened to it. Had the demigod ever even seen it, did he appreciate it if he had? She had poured hours of work into it - hopefully, it had pleased someone. Her mind lingered on that a little too long, with the locksmith coughing sharply. “Gregory Hanlin, we’ve met before,” he extended a hand, and Alija took it, finding his handshake too firm for a man who couldn’t keep still.

“Yes, yes, I know,” she lead him inside the back room, peering curiously around the shop for Ciara, “Do you happen to know where Ciara, the clerk, has gone?”

“Don’t fret about that!” Gregory waved his fingers in the air, dismissing it without a thought, “I forgot some papers, I simply sent her to go fetch them. I suppose that’s alright - she didn’t complain, and there aren’t going to be very many customers.”

Alija frowned, not exactly happy. Maybe she was just being paranoid, but sending Ciara off just like that didn’t seem like an ordinary action. No man entered another person’s shop and began bossing their workers around, sending them away when they should be doing business. What would he do if she did that to him and his employees? Probably wouldn’t be very happy.

What worried her more was that she knew little about him. She was alone, in the shop with him and he had sent away the only other person. Sure, he was a businessman, and a good one, but that meant nothing. She was here defenceless. Lost in thoughts again, Gregory had to cough again to get her back to reality. “Sorry. What papers would these be?” she began questioning, paranoid about what he was planning, “What were you interested in?”

She was blunt, nervous and her hands were visibly shaking, despite her trying to hide them behind her back. His own flickered back and forth, waving more as if all she said was irrelevant. “You don’t need to worry - I want a business proposal. What do you say?”

Alija froze, wondering what he wanted. Surely he didn’t need anything from her - when she went to him, he was doing fine, and didn’t need anything at all. What was he plotting? Was trap was he trying to snare her in? “I can’t just agree to anything,” she finally responded, frowning further, “When will Ciara return?”

“It depends on how quickly she went. She seemed quite relaxed though - probably twenty chimes, depending on whether she gets distracted, or how quickly they find the papers - my own clerk isn’t exactly the brightest.” His blaise tone annoyed her. Didn’t he realise how uncomfortable she was feeling? A business proposal and this whole situation was exactly what she didn’t want.

“Please,” she sighed, trying to calm and concentrate on business, “What is this proposal?” Her heart still beat quickly, and she wrung her hands in each other, keeping them still while Gregory did the opposite, hooking his finger around the end of his key and spinning it lightly.

“Shall we sit?” he spoke, ignoring her immediate question and pulling out a chair for her before taking his own. She didn’t like the way he acted - this was not his shop and it was not his place to do this. But she sat anyway, tucking herself under the table and shaking a strand of hair to frame her face a little bit more.

“And…?” she finally spoke again, waiting for him to say something. He frowned, mirroring her previous actions, and raised a finger, deciding what was bothering him.
User avatar
Alija
Blacksmith and Aurist
 
Posts: 507
Words: 349054
Joined roleplay: November 11th, 2014, 6:35 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Plotnotes
Medals: 1
Overlored (1)

A Business Proposal

Postby Alija on November 29th, 2016, 8:13 pm

Image
“How about some drinks? Do you have anything alcoholic - I feel like a good drink.” Alija rose, fist clenched with anger, but not expressing it in any other way. “Nothing too strong, of course.” She stormed away, moving swiftly and closing the door behind him. Immediately, she regretted it, leaving him alone with all her papers, all the money, but it was too late to go back on herself. Running, she hurried upstairs, bursting into the kitchen.

Her father sat there, drinking something of his own. He looked up curiously, sensing her fear and anger. “Why the rush?” he finally asked, deciding to start light and simple.

Alija ignored him, grabbing the first bottle she saw. Some sort of wine - that would do - and she added two glasses, making sure they were clean. She spun back round, facing him fully. He looked her up and down, taking note of what she carried, before commenting. “You have a visitor?” Silence. “Is everything okay? You didn’t seem it earlier.”

“Gregory Hanlin, a locksmith, has come. He came, and sent Ciara away and acted like he owned the place. He wants a business proposal. I left him alone, but I don’t trust him. I don’t trust him at all,” she shuddered, letting it all out. Her father looked at her with sorrowful eyes, rising to hold her, to support her.

“I’m so sorry,” he sighed heavily, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. You had a good life in Zeltiva. You didn’t need this - any of this. You would have gone on to make your own shop there, and not had to worry about anything. There would have been nothing to fear.” He stopped again, sighing some more, “There is nothing to fear. Go do business - focus on that.”

“I’ll try,” she whispered, hurrying away. When she arrived back at the back room, Gregory was still sitting, still fiddling with the key. Perhaps there had been nothing to worry about.
Who was she kidding? She was still paranoid. Placing a glass in front of him and her seat, she poured them both a drink, sitting down and taking a deep drink herself. “So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”
User avatar
Alija
Blacksmith and Aurist
 
Posts: 507
Words: 349054
Joined roleplay: November 11th, 2014, 6:35 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Plotnotes
Medals: 1
Overlored (1)

A Business Proposal

Postby Alija on November 29th, 2016, 8:14 pm

Image
The bell at the door rang, stopping her finding out yet again. She froze, head shifting quickly. Rising slowly, she peered through the door. The sunny gave that arrived finally made her smile, and she opened it wide, letting Ciara join them round the little table that was usually used for one to scribble down notes and orders. In the crowd, she felt more comfortable, smiling at Ciara and taking the papers gratefully.

“Welcome back, Ciara,” she said, “Just let me know next time - I wasn’t expecting to deal with anyone, and who knows, we might have had a huge influx.”

A light chuckle came from Gregory, who took the papers from her, gently, yet still forcefully. He began to rifle through them, before placing a few before her, pointing at various places. “Sign here, here and here, and we’ll have a deal done!”

Alija turned, eyes cold. What was he thinking? That she was some fool who wanted to just sign her life away if an important looking businessman came over? She wasn’t signing anything until she knew what it was about, the minimum. She wasn’t signing anything until she made sure she wasn’t being tricked out of something with business jargon and legal things. Just because she was young didn’t mean she was stupid.

Finally, she spoke, pointing to it roughly. With Ciara’s presence, she gained confidence, and wasn’t scared to point it all out. “Don’t ask me to sign something! What was your business proposal? Then we can think about drafting something up, and not before!”

Gregory, a little surprised at her sudden outburst of commandeering confidence, stopped the key he span around his pinky, bringing it tight in his fist. Slowly, he placed it on the table, face like a rock, before laughing. “Of course, of course! I just wanted to make things easier for you - wasn’t thinking of course!” Brushing it off like that, he pulled his papers back, reorganising them. “I used to have a deal with another smith. I deal with the locks and keys, you see, not the rest. He made the chests, the ornaments, did key ends occasionally too. Unfortunately, we had a... disagreement. Now I’m searching for someone new. Your work definitely impressed me.”

The flattery forced her to smile, but she tried to keep her face steady after that. “Would the work be the same as what you described?” she asked, finally.

He nodded, “I would expect the same. Nothing too difficult, not for you, from what I can judge. But it would be constant work, and steady jobs. Unless my whole business goes downhill, you should expect something each week, roughly. If you agree to be my supplier.”

The proposal was good. It was always nice to have a safety of steady work, with someone who relied on her and came to her every so often. She nodded, wondering what he wanted from it. “And you? I expect this benefits you too?”
“Well of course!” Gregory grinned, throwing his hands up in a friendly way, “As I’ll be making plenty of orders, I’d expect some sort of discount - and a guarantee I’ll be prioritised, but I expect that you would have done that anyway.”

“And your previous supplier, what deal did you have with him?” She had no clue how this would work. She had never done this before and in the Armed Scholar, she didn’t deal with the business aspect too much. All she had done was from the other side, with an unexperienced merchant and that was too long ago to remember the fine details. Perhaps Gregory would be honest and tell her what the other man had accepted. Perhaps, he wouldn’t, but Alija had a trick for that.
User avatar
Alija
Blacksmith and Aurist
 
Posts: 507
Words: 349054
Joined roleplay: November 11th, 2014, 6:35 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Plotnotes
Medals: 1
Overlored (1)

A Business Proposal

Postby Alija on November 29th, 2016, 8:14 pm

Image
Pretending to focus on her thoughts, she instead took deep breaths, summoning all her djed before channeling it carefully, letting it synchronise with the pulsing of Gregory’s aura. It was like water, flowing and moving constantly, like the tide, it pulsed in and out, waves rippled along it. Constantly moving, like him and his fingers, which even know span the key through his fingers. As it settled in places, letting her see through, she began to focus on it clearly, seeing, or rather, feeling sense in the ripples and patterns. Confident, that’s what it told her. Confident, and an underlying illness, evident in the murkiness of the water around his chest and neck. But she didn’t care about that. Focusing closer, she dived deeper, watching waves spill out from his neck as he began to talk. They moved wrong - everything about them seemed right, but they shifted in ways that didn’t seem they should have had. He was lying. He was clearly lying, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“I had a 70% discount on all my purchases. Does that sound reasonable?”

Alija snapped up, still grasping the aura with her djed. Letting it fade to the background, she snapped a reply, “Don’t lie to me. I know that he wouldn’t stoop that low, no matter who he was.” She shifted towards Ciara slightly, moving without thinking to her clerk, whose very presence gave her confidence. “You agree, right Ciara?”

The girl nodded, more politely adding, “It does seem a little low.”

Gregory’s face flickered, but his aura flickered more, gaps in the water showing his frustration she hadn’t simple accepted. “For you, with your quality of work, I’ll go down to 60.”

Alija pretended to think about it, sensing in his aura that he didn’t think it acceptable. “Ciara, fetch me some paper,” she asked, taking some new sheets to replace his own. Grasping the quill the girl had sensibly though to add, she began to write a title. Then, realising Ciara could do all that, she passed it over. “Mind being scribe?”

Ciara took the job, hovering over the paper and waiting for Alija to start dictating. However, she held a hand towards her to wait. “May I have a copy of the one you prepared?” she asked, directly her question bluntly at Gregory. He nodded, passing it over, and she rifled through it, picking and choosing important parts.
User avatar
Alija
Blacksmith and Aurist
 
Posts: 507
Words: 349054
Joined roleplay: November 11th, 2014, 6:35 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Plotnotes
Medals: 1
Overlored (1)

A Business Proposal

Postby Alija on November 29th, 2016, 8:14 pm

Image
“This Supplier Agreement (“Agreement”) is made effective as of the third of Spring, in the year 516, between Alija Piper, of Ocean’s Forge (“Supplier”) and Gregory Hanlin (“Customer”). Then new line, subtitle, “Items”.
The supplier agrees to sell and the Customer agrees to buy the following products, the “Goods” in accordance to the Terms and Conditions of this contract. “ She then sighed, taking in what she had read. It was strange, how most terms were specified so exactly. That must have been to make sure that there wasn’t any confusion in it all. Now came the items. She scanned the list Gregory had provided, frowning at some of the prices. That would be changed - changed to something reasonable, not even to something more beneficial to her. A high quality chest, made from metal, would cost three times the normal cost.

“First item: Lockbox, price 3GM. Glove box, price 6GM, knife and cutlery, price 6GM. Jewellry box, 6GM. Large chest, also 6GM. Small chest, 3GM. Key end, average, 5GM, good, 10GM, and amazing 25GM.” The last prices were estimates, raising the ones Gregory had listed. They seemed about right. Then she added, “Price, quantity and additional purchases to be discussed between the signers of this contract, or those they choose to represent them, and decided on what both believe to be acceptable. However, minimum spendings must be 100GM a season, unless otherwise agreed.”

Taking a deep breath, she continued dictating. “New subtitle, product standards. The goods supplied will be of a quality the customer deems acceptable. New subtitle, payment. Payment is to be made to the business of the Ocean’s Forge upon delivery of goods. A discount of 35% is to applied on all goods, listed above and further additions, if payment is within three days of delivery. If the payment is not paid within ten days, an interest of 1% for each further ten days is applied. If for any reason the customer is unable to pay for the goods within a season, the supplier, if they deem it acceptable, may cancel this agreement and seek other help to receive their payment.
New subtitle, delivery. The supplier will arrange for delivery of all goods as soon as possible after their creation, with no added charge.
New subtitle, warranties and inspection. If the customer does not find the quality of the goods unacceptable, they may return them within ten days and expect a full refund. The customer will have a reasonable opportunity to inspect the goods and will have ten days to return them.
Next subtitle, default.”

She wasn’t certain what it meant, and she was tired. But she had to finish this. “Default. Any following condition shall constitute a material default. 1, failure to make payment, 2, closure of either business, 3, failure to make and deliver goods in a manner outlined in the agreement.
Next subtitle, withdrawal. If either party does not withhold what is detailed in this agreement, the other may withdraw from it by simply giving the other party sixty days notice. Otherwise, a season must be given and any payments must be completed within this time.
Next subtitle, amendments. This agreement may be modified and extended if the amendment is made in writing and is signed by both parties.
Final subtitle, signatures. That’s it. Would you mind making a copy of that?”

Ciara nodded, her hand tired. As she wrote, Alija relaxed in her chair, feeling confident in the document. She was glad that Gregory had brought his own - she had needed his outline, or she would have written something a lot less acceptable. She looked towards him, curious as to how he would react.

“I wasn’t expected you to be so versed in making contracts. I have no problems with it,” he nodded, and she could tell from the aura she still clung to that he was being sincere, but not smug, feeling like he had cheated her. Perhaps it was a good contract. That, or she was tired. She had focused on his aura too much, and all paranoia and fear from before was replaced with exhaustion.

Once both copies of the documents were done, she signed both, before passing the quill to Gregory. He signed too, noting his name beneath the signature. “Glad to do business with you,” he thanked, taking his copy and leaving.

She was just glad that it was all over.
User avatar
Alija
Blacksmith and Aurist
 
Posts: 507
Words: 349054
Joined roleplay: November 11th, 2014, 6:35 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Plotnotes
Medals: 1
Overlored (1)

A Business Proposal

Postby Faradae on April 28th, 2017, 8:48 pm

Image

Alija
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

E X P E R I E N C E

• Observation +1
• Hosting +1
• Business +3
• Auristics +1
• Negotiation +2


L O R E S

• Alija: Doesn't trust strangers
• Hosting: Pouring guests a drink
• Business: Don't sign a contract before discussing conditions
• Auristics: Detecting a lie
• Business: Keeping protocol of negotiations
• Negotiation: Using auristics to strike a good bargain
• Business: Structuring a contract


N O T E S

That went smoothly. A nice little thread! I found that it's a fine line between negotiation and business - I awarded business for general "business sense" and negotiation where direct haggling was involved.


Image

Please remember to edit your grade request to reflect that this grade has been seen to!
If there are questions about the grades, please contact me via PM.
User avatar
Faradae
Your favourite birb.
 
Posts: 214
Words: 140559
Joined roleplay: December 20th, 2015, 12:24 pm
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet
Storyteller secrets
Scrapbook


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests