[Issues found by Factorum] Annika Gestaltwandler

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Annika Gestaltwandler

Postby Annika Gestaltwandler on September 2nd, 2016, 1:36 am

Annika Gestaltwandler


Appearance

Race: Kelvic. Transforms into Red Owl
Gender: Female
Age: 1.5 Years (20 years in appearance)
Birthday: 09 Winter 514
Birthplace: Avanthal

Physical Attributes
Height- 5'5"
Weight- 130 lbs
Hair Length & Color- Long auburn hair, waist length
Eye Color- Light Gray
Body Structure- Petite, small frame
Facial Structure- Soft jaw line, strong & high cheek bones, gentle nose, full soft lips.

Character Concept

Aloof, distant, mysterious.

Character History

Born in Avanthal on 09 Winter 514AV, Annika was raised by Kevlic Nomads. Never staying long in one place, her parents traveled Mizahar their entire lives, finally settling in Avanthal at the end of their lives. Throughout the beginning of her life, her father would take her out into the wilderness to learn about the Taldera Region's geography and the fauna in the area. She learned the basics to wilderness survival, tracking, trapping, hunting & long bow use from her father in their journeys to the wilderness.

Language

Fluent Language: Common & Owl-Speak
Basic Language: None at the moment.
Poor Language: None at the moment.

Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Wilderness Survival 10 10 Novice
Hunting 10 10 Novice
Long Bow 10 10 Novice
Trapping 10 10 Novice
Tracking 10 10 Novice


Lores

Helpful Lores: Lore of Fauna Local to the Taldera Region & Lore of the Taldera Regions Geography.

Possessions

1 Set of Clothing
-Simple Dress
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Cloak
-Simple Sandals
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Bone)
-Brush (Bone)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel

Heirloom - Embellished hunting knife.

[b]Location: Avanthal

[b]Housing:

1 20x20 cottage (400 sq feet)
-hearth
-bunk
-chest
-chair
-small table.

Ledger

[b]Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 GM 100 GM


Thread List

Icewall Gates - 1st of Summer 516AV
http://www.mizahar.com/forums/post495014.html#p495014
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Annika Gestaltwandler
Player
 
Posts: 3
Words: 725
Joined roleplay: September 1st, 2016, 11:03 pm
Location: Avanthal
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

Annika Gestaltwandler

Postby Factorum on September 13th, 2016, 2:54 pm

There are a couple of things with this CS.

1. you dont have enough clothing to survive Avanthal in your human form.

2. How is that owl species going to make it in Avanthal? The red owl species is from Madagascar and inhabits dry deciduous forests to humid evergreen forests.

3. Lores. please separate so that we know its two and not one. The way it written at first it seemed like two lores in one. Taldera region is a very broad region. you will need to specify this lore. the fauna changes greatly through out Taldera.

4. Skills: Please indicate where the points came from. SP for starting package points. RB for racial bonus. It seems like you may not have used all of your starting package points. Kelvics get a racial bonus of 10 to hunting. you have 50 starting package points. from calculations it appears you have 10 more to spend. As a suggestion, perhaps cooking? This is only a suggestion.

5. Backstory. There is no such thing as kelvic nomads. Nomads would not survive out in the wilds and definately not in Avanthal where you will freeze to death out on the tundra. You don't have the mark from Morwen so these temperatures are a real danger. Another point is that Kelvics are designed to be near people. They thrive best around people as they are driven to bond with someone. Traveling a lot is dangerous in Mizahar, Very dangerous. Parents with babies will stay in a city. The father taking the child out to teach stuff is fine, but they would return to the safety of a city.

When you have completed these changes or have questions, please PM me.

Thank you.
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Factorum
Player
 
Posts: 22
Words: 8797
Joined roleplay: November 22nd, 2015, 4:41 am
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