Closed Not Alone

[Taurina]

Taurina smiled happy and shy when Azmere admitted that this, standing side by side with limbs intwined, felt good. Natural. Her cheeks turned rosy as another soft blush warmed them and her gaze was cast to the ground. A part of her felt like a silly little girl who had never learned the touch of another or what it was to feel what she felt for him. She knew that she was that girl still to some extent. That though they had been close before, that he had held her many times before, it had not been like this. These emotions so strong were new and fresh and different. Last they had been together all of it had been there, but hidden under a layer of restraint, fear, and trapped within the boundaries of what their life had been. Perhaps it was the one thing good that had come out of all this. There was nothing to hold them back anymore. There was nothing to say they could not be together whatever they wanted to be. Chances could be taken, would be taken, because Taurina had learned the true meaning of regret. She had learned what it was to love and to lose that love before it ever had a chance to grow. Not again. Never again.

They walked as only a pair could walk. First with sloppy unsure steps that were cause for laughter and joy. Then with sure and knowing steps, stride matching stride. His hands had found hers, fingers intertwined as warmth spread. Taurina was calm here in his arms, content. There was no fear, no tension, not even her shyness lingered. All of that was washed away as she relaxed against him and allowed for her head to meet his shoulder once more. They crossed the bridge, lingering not even ticks to watch the as the waterfall clashed into the darkness of the river below. It was beautiful as it always was. Leth’s light shined brightly against the dark depths, coloring the surface silver and trapping rainbows in the mist. The Ethaefal lifted her head so that she might look upon the lost man’s face and learn what it was he thought of it. Only she found him to be looking at her, a smile pulling at the right side of his face. Her head tilted just slightly in wonder. What was he thinking about?

It was not long after that she found out. Another blush flourished over her cheeks and ran up to the tips of her ears. She glanced out at the water as they passed it by, feet touching back on the road of stone. She never knew how to react to such things. Had only ever scratched the surface of learning what it was to be cared for. Learning what it was to be thought of as something beautiful and wanted and maybe even needed. It was why she thought herself no one important. No one special to anyone or necessary to the world. He had touched her cheek when she told him that. He had chased her tears away just as she had tried to chase away his. The memory brought on a little smile and drew her gaze back to his star filled eyes. She folded in towards the tightening hold aimed to draw her closer. It was easy to be near him. Easy to take in his warmth and feel the pleasurable sensation of it rushing down her body to where it made a home in her core.

“I missed you,” she admitted in her ever soft voice, “so much.”

A gentle sigh passed her lips and then she rested her head against his shoulder again. Horns attempted to get in the way, but she turned until the right angle was found so that there was comfort for both of them. So that she could easily nuzzle her face into his warmth as fingers tightened in his. Never again. She was never letting go of him again.

Their walking continued, slow and steady, down the main street of Riverfall. Occasionally they would see others. A group of two here, three or four young ones with laughter on their lips there, a singleton making their journey home. For the most part though it was just quiet. Just them and the road and the night sky that held Leth’s ever-watchful gaze. Taurina did not care about a thing. The others they passed did not bother her. A stone threatening to trip her in the road held no bearing. As far as she was concerned, the world around them was unimportant. Just he and she existed as they walked in tandem at a rhythm of their own making. Such peace was so rarely found and like most things it was bound to end eventually. Likely sooner rather than later. The Ethaefal wished it could last forever, but nothing did. A hard truth she knew but struggled to accept. Her peace was threatened early when the tavern of revelry came within eyesight. She had forgotten they would be passing it taking this direction home.

It was difficult to not jolt upright, disrupt the calm they had achieved. Her body did tense, her grip tightening around his waist as her gaze fixed on the blasted building. So many memories there. So many nights spent pointlessly getting attention from men who could never hold her heart. One night in particular floated through her memory but she grabbed hold of that one. She grabbed hold of it and banished it to the darkest corner of her mind where she slammed the door and locked it tight. No. She would not be reliving that night tonight. She would not be telling Azmere of what she had done tonight. Later… It could come later. When things had settled and perhaps when his memories came back. When he could understand why she did it. What had taken her to that place so dark that she had needed the distraction. Even if she had hated herself for taking it every night since.

He had picked here to become still. Taurina did not understand why, but she refrained from pushing him to move on. She was sure he had a reason. He never did anything without some reason. When she lifted her gaze to him she saw how he stared at the white tower she knew could only be a god’s tower. Her gaze was curious but did not linger. She went back to looking at the tavern, a dread building in her gut as the memory broke free. What if Enalius was here? What if he came out and saw her? He was sure to make a scene. Especially seeing her with another. The Ethaefal swallowed hard, trying desperately to banish those thoughts. Everything would be fine. Fine. Nothing was going to happen.

Attention was only drawn away when Azmere leaned further into her, his cheek coming down to meet her hair. Just barely she could feel as lips pressed into her ebony locks, hear as he inhaled the scent of her. The woman could not hold back the whimper locked in her throat then. Her eyes closed as she turned her body so that she might bury her face where collarbone met shoulder. She hated this. She felt as though she was lying to him by hiding this from him. She knew he would not understand now. Perhaps he would think it silly she dwelled on it so much. That it was in the past and before he had come back. Or he could hate her for it. Not think her pure and good but tainted and ugly because she had let a stranger between her legs. She wanted to believe that the Azmere she knew would have held her close and wiped her tears away, promised that this had no effect on how he felt about her. That he would wish to hunt down the male and take him down because her broken heart had been taken advantage of. But that might not have been true either. Taurina did not know. She did not want to have to find out.

He asked about her plan as he held her close. Any gaps that had been between them were closed now. Nothing but the fabric of clothes separated them and so nothing would come between them. The question was a welcomed distraction. A chance to not let the thoughts running rampant in her mind hold any sway. Taurina grabbed hold of that question like a life boat in a thrashing sea and drew her face out so that she might look at him. So that she might answer it.

“I went to the library,” she told him, her voice small and frail as she kept her gaze locked firmly upon his, “I found out many things, but the thing that stuck out…”

A crash coming from the Blue Bull caused her to jump in her skin, grip becoming iron tight around his in her fear. Her frantic gaze looked back, sure she was going to see the dreaded purple skinned Akalak. She did not see him. Instead she saw two young males, one tainted blue and the other black, grumbling at each other and the remnants of something glass scattered in the road. Taurina released a breath she had held in and relaxed again, looking back to Azmere with nervousness in her eyes and rogue staining her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she got out, “can we keep going? It’s not too much farther.. I can tell you on the way or maybe.. maybe you can stay a chime once we reach the apartment and I will tell you then?”

Indigo eyes were almost hopefully as she stared at him pleadingly. She did not want to stay here. She did not want to linger in this place of bad memories and possibly enemies. She wanted to take him somewhere safe and private where she could tell him of her plans and not have to face her memories. Not have to face the one wrong she did not know how to make right.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

Taurina was easy to hold. She curled into every adjustment as if she would climb inside his armor and share the space would the leather mail allow such a feat. It didn’t take long for them to gain an understanding of one another’s movements; their bodies syncing to step in time and rhythm which carried them along the road so smoothly that the scarred man failed to recognize just how little his leg hurt and how small his tremors were when the damaged hands held the elegant fingers of the woman. Was she his savior? He wasn’t sure. He felt her tense as he stared at the tower. Something about it called to a deep place in his core like the gods lived in that place. He did not feel dread but he did not feel fear or reverence, either. It was a strangely cold impression and one the bouncer swore he would investigate later.

The tension did not fade from the radiant creature beneath his arm. It only increased and something drove her into his chest as if to hide her face. Instinct drove him to lift his arms around her frame. Slowly at first and quite uncertain, the trembling hands guided the tattooed arms up and along her shoulders then down and around her back until his hands rested atop or below the opposite elbow. He had crushed her up against his body and held her tightly there so that she might know he would protect her. Whatever troubled her mind, he would frighten it away. Amber and azure orbs looked down to try and find her amethyst gaze and peel up to his own so that he could gain the truth from her stare. What strength is in me, let it calm her. The prayer was spoken silently and to anyone who would listen. Azmere knew no gods but had heard of them. If they wished to be worshipped then they should answer the calls of the people.

“Do not be troubled, Taurina.” He whispered as he pressed his cheek against the top of her head. He did not realize it until after it had begun but his hands moved slightly upon flat palms and splayed fingers to rub the fabric of her dress against her back in small, slow circles. He was about to say something else when a clamour arose from behind him. The noise caused him to jerk a response which tightened one arm around her so much that he partially took her weight off the ground and upon his hip. His left arm flexed until it hurt but all of this was done while the right hand and arm came free and went for his kukri’s handle. He turned slightly on his right leg but never let her slide from his body. Not a single breath of the night’s cold air would come between them and the daggers in his eyes solidified that point.

The young blues were arguing amongst themselves but it seemed to their outburst had spawned a new life in Taurina. She looked at him with blush and distress in her eyes but an eagerness in her voice to keep moving. She had answers for him -the one’s she’d promised and he couldn’t deny that he was equally eager to hear them. Azmere turned and started to walk away with this enchanting creature towards her home -the thought of spending more time with her not only filled him with joy but it also made him blush. The beautiful women of his work rarely paid him any mind so this sort of attention awakened a whole new set of ideas and thoughts that were well beyond his imagination but it gave him hope for something greater in his life.

As they walked away, one of the brawling youth broke from their conversation in the uncooth language spoken by the blue warriors of Riverfall and called out in Common. “You better hope Enalius doesn’t see you holding a freak, Ethaefal!” There was laughter and more of the strange language. Azmere was confused by the statement and turned to read Taurina’s face. Did she know what it meant? While he did this, he tried to smooth over the uncomfortable vibe she was giving off by continuing her conversation.

“What’s a library?” The raspy baritone inquired softly. He went on to feed into her urgency. “I will follow you, Taurina. You don’t have to apologize.” He put his arm around her shoulder again and tried to find her hand so that he could interweave his weathered and shaking fingers once more. He could feel that things had changed in her but he didn’t know what to say. The unease transcended her mind and created awkward steps and mistimed turns. Azmere was patient but also curious. He almost whispered his question as a weight gathered in his gut and a lump in his throat. His body began to tremble harder than before but still less than normal as he kept the shining lady close to him. “Taurina…” His voice wavered and he swallowed hard. “Have I upset you?” His mind started to wind to a dark place that revealed itself as shadows in his eyes -shadows of water that began to form.

Of course you’ve upset her. Look at you! You saved her life and she was grateful but at the sign of real men she realized her folly. A bitter voice tore at him from inside his skull. It was so sharp of tongue that he leg began to ache and his limp became more prevalent. You’re not fit for a prostitute let alone a woman of class and ageless beauty like Taurina! The voice continued to grate against his confidence and Azmere’s hand and arm began to sag off of her shoulder as his gaze fell to somewhere far away.

She said she would take care of me and she called me her own. Azmere’s own voice joined the dialogue in an attempt to defend himself and the situation as being more than a fluke. She has sought me out and she held my face in her hands. I’ve never known such care in my life! The broken man grew stronger in his arguments and his posture straightened a bit.

The voice was prepared for this, however and was ready when the comment was served to be beheaded. People own pigs and dogs, too. Cruel laughter filled his head and his hands began to shake so violently that he had to let her go and clutched them against his body in balled up fists. Your life is a useless pile of nothing. Of course you’ve never known care like that- you know nothing! The voice was shouting now and it forced the man to stop walking and close his eyes so tight that crow’s feet formed at the corner of his right eye. The gods stole your life and memories, fool! You have nothing and you know nothing because you are nothing!

There was silence in his head now and the broken warrior bit back a sob by clenching his jaw. He curled downward until he fell to his knees and shivered upon the stones. The cruel joke had been played. His shoulders heaved with shallow, smoky breaths that did little to control his tremors and he had yet to open his eyes or turn his face towards the woman that had been sharing this walk. Broken to his core and alone in his torment, Azmere found himself back in the tunnels of Cyphrus. He rocked softly back and forth and bit his lower lip to keep from sobbing any more. Had he any strength, he would run away but there was nothing- he was nothing. Nothing but Hollow.

[Taurina]

His arms wrapped around her and held her tight against him. Her face buried against his covered flesh, small whimpers escaping as she buried her hands in the space between their chests to keep them from shaking. She tried desperately to control herself. To be stronger than this fragile creature she had allowed herself to become. But it was fear that governed her life. Had always governed her life, she had never learned how to overcome it. Only how to bury it. Ignore it. Hide from it. But it was always there, lurking in the shadows and waiting for those most opportune moments to strike. Sometimes it was the race of her heart, talons tightening against her chest or uncontrollable tremors moving down her body. Sometimes it was worse. Sometimes it was a little girl who called her Rina and played with her mind. She had not seen the girl in such a long time. Sorrow had not drug her out, not even loneliness had, but fear was the child’s domain. The Ethaefal swallowed again and again. Not tonight… Please not tonight.

Azmere’s grip was protective of her. She did not think he understood what was going on and she did not look up to meet his gaze so that she might find out. She just wanted to hide in her shame and weakness. Yet she did not push him away. She did not ask for him to let her go. Instead she buried herself in that warmth and comfort that he provided. She hid as he pressed his cheek against her hair and pleaded that she not be troubled. He was kind, patient, understanding. His hands moved against her back in a way that was calming, knowing, and Taurina savored the feeling of it. She savored every moment as muscles began to uncoil and fear loosened.

Then the crash came. He moved with the instinct and precision of the warrior that he was. She was buried behind him, her weight carried more by his arm and hip than her own to legs. He did not push her away but kept her so close that the clothe remained the only thing between them. His muscles were taunt and rigid, body set as his other hand reached for his blade. Taurina wanted to tell him it was alright. That it was nothing, just two nobodies fighting outside a tavern. But she was still reeling from the initial fear that she would find Enalius standing there. Luckily, Azmere seemed to ascertain that the threat was minimal and bended to her will when she asked to leave this place. She smiled soft when he started walking with her again, her arm wrapping back around his side so that she might keep him close.

Things were not the same now as they had been before. There was a tension coiled tight within the Ethaefal that she could not seem to force undone. It was only made worse by the Akalak who deemed it necessary to shout after her with Enalius’ name on his lips. She paused as all blood drained from her face. She turned only halfway, her grip on Azmere’s waist tightening. Her jaw clenched, anger and hurt flaring in her eyes. How? Why? What purpose did such cruelty serve? She swallowed, knowing it had to have been Enalius’ doing. The male had already taken her virtue and her bondmate, but he was going to take from her any chance at happiness too. Using others to do it apparently.

Taurina did not say anything to the male. Did not acknowledge them more than that half glance backward. She could not. Not only did she stand no chance against either of them alone, forget both of them, she did not want this to be how Azmere found out. She also wanted to keep him safe, away from harm, away from further fights. He had already fought for her tonight. Once was enough. So she looked towards him instead to find his eyes on her. The color had not returned to her cheeks. Her eyes were a mix of panic and sorrow and hate. But none of it towards the man she held close. No, he was without fault or blame. For anything, but especially for this. This was on her. It was all her doing.

He must have realized her discomfort, the mixed and negative emotions she was throwing in every direction, because his words were aimed purely at distracting her as their walking resumed. He told her that he would follow her, that no apologies were necessary. How wrong he was. She needed to apologize to him over and over again. She needed to find some way to make up for betraying him. For betraying her love for him. It did not matter she had thought him dead. It did not matter that her grief had been eating her alive. It did not even matter that she had been drunk and perhaps more susceptible to such advances, that that had been taken advantage of. All that mattered was that he had been alive and she had been here, giving away what was his. Tears began pricking at her eyes again.

“A library… It is a place full of information. Books and scrolls..” Taurina tried to explain through soft and broken words, her pavi distorted further in her distress.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders again, an attempt to return to how they had been. Taurina wished and desperately tried to get them there, her hand reaching back up to meet with his trembling fingers. She did not fail to notice the shaking was worse now. Sadness overtook her at that. Had she caused his tremors to come back? Was this another thing she had done wrong against him? She sighed, tightening her grip in a weak attempt to try and help him become stable again. It did not help that she was unstable herself. That she had been so shaken by what had happened that unease filled every step. Their rhythm had been lost because of it. Everything was clumsy and unknowing, like they had lost what it was to work together. Taurina blamed herself. For all of it, she blamed herself. None of this would have happened if she had just been able to deal with her grief better.

“What?” Taurina’s voice was breathy, lost, confused when Azmere asked the question that caused his voice to waver, “upset? With you? No.. Azmere.. no..”

She wanted to assure him that he could never upset her. That nothing he did would ever be the cause of her pain. It was an untruth, because he had hurt her. Unintentionally. When he had left, when she had thought him dead, that pain had been the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. That was pain she never wanted to feel again. It had not been his fault though. Whatever had happened.. whatever power had taken him from her.. not his fault. Cruel gods or fate or just bad luck.. anything but him. And now that he was back, well, she did not believe him capable of hurting her again. Not after all they had been through.

“Azmere, why do you ask that?” She knew why. She knew he was just responding to how she had been acting since the tavern, the change that had caused what they had had to fall apart. “I couldn’t be upset with you. Never.”

It did not seem to matter what she said. By the way his arm sagged off her shoulders and his gaze veered off away from her… She knew she had lost him. She knew his mind had taken him somewhere else. Somewhere dark and painful. A place she had frequented all too often in her own mind. A place she wanted him to have nothing to do with.

“Azmere!” she begged, finding fingers with her own again and holding his hand tight, “stay with me. Please? I’m not upset. I promise. I’m not upset with you.”

Whatever had taken hold of him though was stronger than her. Its words cruel and knowing where to hit. Taurina did not know what lies his own head filled him with. She did not know his fears, the extent of his hatred towards himself. She did not know how to quiet those voices. How to bring him back. So she was left helpless as she was forced to watch him break down before her.

He let her go. His hands shaking so much more violently than before as he balled fists at his sides. Pools of indigo searched to meet his gaze only to find it glassy and lost. He closed his eyes as walking halted. What was going on in his head? Then he fell to the ground with a sob buried deep in his throat. Taurina only heard because of how near she was to him. The very sound of it caused something to cleave in two within her chest. It was with no thought that she went down with him, wrapping his swaying body in her arms. She was not slow or patient or even really careful as she pulled his body against her own.

“Azmere,” she spoke his name soft, pleading, with familiar tears pricking at her eyes, “don’t listen to them. Whatever it is saying… don’t…”

Arms loosened so that fingers could find hair. She ran her touch over the shaven sides and complex braids, careful with the twist of fabric woven within. Drykas, whoever had done it, she recognized the style. Her hands fell over his ears and then stroked down to his jaw. She used little force to get him to raise his chin, her silver lined gaze locked on his closed eyes begging them to open for her. So that he might see, might know, that she found no fault in him. Know that she was here and that she was not leaving. That she would never give up on him.

“Let me help you,” she pleaded gentle, “please? I can help you… I know… I know what it is to be alone. You don’t have to be alone.”

There was a soft whimper in her throat. An aching in her chest. All she wished to do was help him. Put him back together and tear this pain away from him. She wanted to make him whole again. Take his broken pieces and hand them back to him. She just wished she knew how. She wished she knew how to convince him that she was there for him. That she would always be there for him. A hand fell away so that an arm could wrap around to his back, hold him near her. The other arm wrapped around his shoulder, his head, where she pressed her cheek against his. She knew he could feel her tears, her swollen face, for once she did not care. He needed to know that she was not going to leave him.

“It was the men,” she admitted, thinking it might help, “what they said, who they were talking about, the tavern they came out of. I did something last season, something I am not proud of and regret. I will tell you if you must know, but I don’t want to. I don’t want you to think differently of me because of it.”

Fingers rubbed against short and braided hair, looking for something to bury in but finding nothing. Taurina closed her eyes, burrowing down for some ounce of strength. It would take more than she had to tell him about Enalius and Soryn. She would though, if it helped him, she would. If it put his mind at ease, distracted him from whatever it was that had drug him down into the darkness.

“It was them that made me upset, not you. Never you,” the Ethaefal assured him again, her voice frail and soft.

Arms tightened around him, a protective barrier against all who might try and break them apart. She did not wish to release him. Did not wish to leave him alone. Even if he wished for that… She did not know if she was strong enough to give him that wish.

“Azmere…” His name was like a soft prayer on her lips. “Please… stay here with me. Please… I need you. I need you. Come back.”

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

The mind can be a dangerous place. Battlefields can change in seconds where enemies become allied and friends become monsters but what happens when the scene runs vacant? Taurina answered his question and he tried to picture a library then bent his constrained knowledge to attempt to understand how a scroll could help his plight. The images rotated slowly at first like a hurricane building strength. The uneasiness of his companion and the deterioration of their peace further complicated his inner struggle as thoughts of uselessness and shattered visions of happiness and truth added to the mental mayhem.

Azmere was losing his footing as the winds rose and the rain came down in sheets and buckets. The deluge swept upward quickly as the levies gave out and the high black water barreled forth in search of any and every soul to consume. On this road, the wanderer stood alone while the woman next to him spoke of others and how something could never be his fault. Kindness flowed from her; a desire to help the broken man yet the howling of the encroaching storm nearly muted her every word. In the driving rains and oppressive darkness of the storm, he felt her hands upon his face and arms around his body. She was warm while everything that poured from the weeping skies was cold and sharp. The invisible guardian nurtured him as the waves crashed down in his mind and washed away his center. Stranded on a piece of debris, he knew that there was nothing he could do for himself in this time of distress...but at his core, something else came alive.

Hollow as he was, it left room for the man to absorb something from the world around him. He could no longer hear the woman who had tried to save him. Rather than search for her or bring her down into the swirling depths of icy water and lingering dark, he extended his essence out to her. He tried to cover her with it like a layer of protection from all that would seek to do her harm. The djed that had already been passed to Taurina steadily grew as it coated her arms and hands. With the conviction born within him from somewhere deep, deep inside the emptiness, Azmere told that mystical energy to protect her. He tasked it with the job of keeping any physical harm from piercing her skin of bruising her beautiful complexion.

The quivering of his body slowly reduced as he focused upon the magic though in his mind it was simply a feeling. It buoyed the man amidst the rising tides of ebony and sadness that were slowly stripping him of his resolve to do anything. A voice was carried to him on the wind. It pleaded for him to return. It needed him. The bitterness in mind refuted such things as fallacies and even heresy. There was no logic behind the phrases and like home built upon shifting sands, the tidal waves of self-loathing washed them away into oblivion. When the djed that formed a barrier around the woman’s arms engaged in its purpose, he ceased to feel anything just as she would only feel pressure. He was too lost to perceive the weight of her grasp and her skin could no longer perceive the weathered aspect of his skin, his body’s warmth or the texture of his armor.

This shift in the corporeal magic split the sky like a peel of thunder. The eyes of broken stars popped open to see a woman clinging on to him. Several ticks passed before he registered her as Taurina. The beautiful woman was highly upset and firmly attached to him. Like a surprise gift, the storm began to still its blustering rage. Winds slowed to a breeze and the waters receded quickly leaving behind traces of the damage done like wreckage thrown across a reef or debris scattered up and down the coastline. The woman was a mess and the man’s face hurt as if it had been greatly irritated.

The man on his knees trembled as he was held but not from fear or from any source that he could point to with any kind of certainty. He was confused. Trying to piece together the path from a brawl at his place of employment to the waterfall to him being on his knees on the opposite side of the large city constructed with its towers and cliffs by the massive blue men who looked down at all others. The multicolored eyes focused more on his companion as the big arms fished themselves out of her grasp. He started to take her by the shoulders so that they could both stand when he noticed the glimmering substance which coated her arms. It moved as if it were alive but the man felt a connection to it. The vagabond became still and focused upon the djed of the shield and felt its familiarity. The strangest thing came to mind like he had created it. With a hesitant hand, he tried to push his thoughts into the substance to make it go away. He wanted to feel her soft skin but instead he only received a numb reception when he tried to put his arms around her and so he maintained a gap of several feet between them.

The material slowly vanished along with the rest of the black water and cold, biting winds. Within the space of a few chimes, he had nearly drown and let his world be consumed by the squall but something tangible in this world had rooted him to her and because of that he was able to find his way above the angry clouds to a place where there was quiet. When the barrier had vanished completely, Azmere used Taurina to help himself up to his feet and hoisted her onto her boots promptly. He held her with gentle but firm hands around her arms, his weathered thumbs tenderly stroked the delicate lines of her biceps while he stared at the indigo eyes. It would not take her long to realize that he was searching for something. It should come as no surprise given his current state but something amidst the fragments of color screamed with urgency. He opened his mouth to speak and his lips formed the words but nothing came out of the parched throat.

When he tried again, there was no voice to his musings; only air. The whisper floated so carelessly on the din of the city’s night that it might at any time be lost. If Taurina watched him closely enough, she would see the tension grow in his chest and knot him up into a mess while he tried to maintain some strength in front of the alluring young woman. It was only one word at first. “Why?” His mind raced as it began to sort through the remaining pieces not claimed by the storm. There were gaps and missed connections but it was better than nothing at all when it came to building a foundation. “Why do you say these things to me?” His voice became soft though it was his true baritone. It gradually grew louder but remained an inside tone.

“Why would you never be upset with me? Why do you need me?” He was empty inside. The glue that was required to make the answers to these questions stick and grow roots was needed. His core was primed for a belief to hold- to nurture but it would have to be one powerful statement to surpass the tangle of misunderstandings and missing life experience. His eyes begged her to give him what he needed. Sadly, what he needed was beyond the scope of his position. One could only hope for such a message to be relayed with just a single look.

[Taurina]

Silence settled as pleas fell on nothing but deaf ears. The child of Leth whimpered soft and buried her face in the neck of the man she held in her arms. She did not know how to help him. How to cast out this darkness that had consumed him. She felt weak and powerless against it. Once he had told her that she was a light. A light in the darkness, a light amongst the storm, a light to fill their pavilion. She had aspired to be that light. She had wished and aimed to be exactly who he had seen her to be because he had always seemed to see her as being something so much better than what she saw herself. But now she knew that she could never be that person he had seen her to be. Because as he struggled against darkness, all she could do was hold him close and pray in silence for the gods to come and steal his pain from him. All she could do was wish for the storm to still and the darkness to scatter. She was no light. She held no power. No strength. Just the frailness of a mortal with an immortal life.

“Azmere,” Taurina’s voice was frail and she could not be sure he even heard her against the storm inside his head, but she still spoke if only a soft plea. Over and over and over. “I’m here. I’m here Azmere. Come back. Please come back.”

Time stretched in every direction. The Ethaefal could not have told which bell of the night it was or if Syna’s rise was nearing. So much had happened since she left the ivory tower in search of the one who was her heart. Fear and happiness and now, sorrow. Taurina wished she could turn back the clock, go back to the happiness. Take Azmere down a path that had not included the ghastly tavern. Or have been better prepared for its arrival. Better able to handle seeing it and all the memories that came with it. Should have. Would have. Could have. Moot points now. None of it mattered. It was what it was because time did not turn back at her wish.

She did not understand what it was that took her from him. At first she did not even notice how her skin stopped feeling the texture of his hair beneath her fingers or the cool of his armor against her hand. It was not until all his warmth left her grasp that she opened her eyes so that she might stare at him. So that she might try and understand what had come between them. Nothing. There was nothing. Just skin that did not feel skin. Warmth that did not meet warmth. Panic filled the woman who did not understand. Fear clutched her. Had the shadows come back to steal this from her? Had the gods decided her unworthy of him? Breath turned rapid at the thought. She touched his face, his hair, his shoulders, and down his arms. Nothing, there was nothing. Just numb pressure.

“Azmere.. Azmere! What is going on?” Words were frantic as she grabbed at his biceps.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. The tears that swelled now were born of fear and distress that washed away sorrow. Why was this happening? How was this happening? If it was a god, a goddess, then they better come down and explain themselves! But no, none came. None explained anything. And the darkness of night around them was just that, darkness. No shadows anywhere. Nothing but stars and moonlight. Taurina cried herself into a puddle crumpled against the lost warrior. Her arms wrapped around his waist though she could not feel him and her face pressed into his chest. It was the second action that made her realize that maybe not all was lost. She could still feel the texture of armor against her forehead. Still feel his warmth when she lifted her face back to that spot in his neck. Not all was lost.

“Azmere, what’s going on?” she asked again, her words much softer and less frantic, “why can’t I feel you anymore?”

Her gaze lifted to meet his, finding the gaze of stars opened and looking at her. Did he think her pathetic for freaking out so much? Did he even understand what she was talking about? Did he feel it too? Or what it just her who had been denied the ability to touch? Taurina silenced herself as the questions raged and he gave her no answers. He only began to move, to pull away. Taurina’s first instinct was to grab at him and make her hold a hold of steel but with the disconnect of touch this was harder than it should have been. Then she realized that he wanted to be apart from her and while that hurt, she knew better than to force him to stay near her. Perhaps it was a good thing. Perhaps it meant the darkness had left him. Of that she hoped, but she also held onto the hope that that did not mean he truly wished to be done with her.

Taurina swallowed down a whimper as a wall of air came between them. She was farther apart from him now than she had been for the majority of the night and she found that she did not like it. It was unrealistic to have him near all the time, for them to truly never part again, but she did not care. She was into believing and wishing for unrealistic things at this particular moment in time. Azmere reached out to touch her again and she dared to hope that it meant he was going to draw her close once more. She dared to hope he would know how to return feeling back into her arms and hands. No such luck. At least, not at first. He paused instead, his gaze drifting down to her arms as if he saw something there. The Eth tilted her head slightly, an eyebrow raising, what did he see? What was blocking her touch and how might he see it when she could not?

The woman did not understand but slowly she felt sensation return. He gripped her shoulders and first pressed down, putting his weight on her so that he might stand. Then he pulled her up, lifting her until shaky legs stood planted firm on the ground once more. Taurina knew not what to do so she did nothing. She allowed her arms to relax at her sides as she savored the feeling of his thumbs rubbing up and down her biceps. She could feel again. Such a funny thing touch was. One might not even notice or care about it until it has been stolen from them. Just an everyday thing and sometimes a nuisance. But when it has been taken and reduced to just numb pressure.. then it is the most important thing in the world. The Drykas was so pleased to have it back. So grateful that she could feel the worn skin of his hands against her arms. So grateful his warmth melded with hers again.

His eyes were locked on her own. That look was one she knew for she had worn it many times. Curiosity. Need. He was searching for something. Answers perhaps. Probably. Though to what she could not know. Not until he told her. And he did. At first with just a single word that took effort to come out. But then his baritone smoothed out and the volume of his voice raised. Never harsh though. Never louder than it needed to be and his tone always soft. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know what caused her to say the things she did. To say that she needed him and that she could never be upset with him. She looked at him slowly, his questions rolling over in her mind a thousand times while she pondered how to answer him. How did one explain to another that they loved them, that they were everything to them, when the other did not even know his own name?

“You look for answers I can not give you in a way that would make sense right now, but I will tell you anyway,” were the words that finally came though Taurina looked almost sad to say them, “you saved me Azmere. So many times. You took me in when I was nothing to anyone, unimportant, lost and alone. You gave me so much and even when I upset you, you were patient with me. You were kind and forgiving.”

Taurina sighed softly. She did not know what else to say, how to convince him. She knew he needed this. She knew he needed a reason, a purpose, something to hang onto. Something to help him put himself back together. She did not know how to give him that. She desperately wanted to, but she was lost. So she told him all she could think of to help him.

“I did not take my chances in the past. I did not let myself be anything more to you or you anything more to me than my ankal when we were on the see of grass. But when I lost you… It broke something inside of me. I could not stand to be in that place anymore because everything reminded me of you and everything inside of me hurt when those reminders came,” she tried to explain to him, “and now.. now you are back and that brings me so much joy, but you are the one hurting and lost. I wish I could find the way to take it from you, find a way to carry this burden so you do not have to.”

The Ethaefal sighed again, her irritated gaze glittering as she reached out and stroked the back of her fingers down his cheek.

“I can’t lose you again. I just can’t. I need you in my life. Memories or no. You are everything to me and I hope someday you will be able to understand. I wish I had a better reason, something that made sense, but I don’t. I just have this, my heart and what I want and what I can give.”

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

Azmere was drifting back and forth between her words and her expressions. He searched for contradictions or any indication that what Taurina was saying did not match up to how she felt. The shattered stare found only a big heart pressed against the back of two wishing wells. Indigo waters swirled with the reflections of hundreds of silver coins and the weight of her life’s tale swished the waves from one side to another. Certainly, these things she spoke had to be true. He had no wealth, no beauty and no bearing to offer her so for one so lovely and seemingly altogether to cast her lot in with him was some kind of testament of faith.

The way she spoke about him- the man she remembered- made the golden and blue eyes fill with mist. Such a noble and powerful leader he had been and to care for a person the way the radiant woman described gave Azmere hope that he could be that person again someday but the voices would not cease. They mocked him and spat at the idea of the two being one in the same. The tired shoulders sagged and his hands shook with a more noticeable affect. Still, he did not release her. The man longed for the warmth they had shared briefly. It sweetness was there against his armor and his neck. It blew about on the breeze as if to tease him but also just enough to keep the torch within his soul flickering despite the cold rain of self-loathing. For a long while he was silent. He soaked in each kind word and loving phrase. The wanderer committed these things to memory by replaying the sound of her voice over and over again in his mind.

The swollen heart thumped behind his black armor and a pink dust lifted up beneath his unscarred face and neck. There was stillness now. The delicate fingers trailed against his face and the vivid eyes like gems illuminated by their own spirit in a dark cave studied him. There was a hint of fear in those orbs of water and sky. Taurina did not seem to fear his body or his strength despite seeing him take down a larger Akalak earlier in the evening. This fear came from somewhere deep inside that stemmed to a whole new set of rules in an entirely different game. The scarred fighter took a few moments to process what he thought was the case. She was afraid he would reject her. Azmere began to channel his energy into solving this particularly unique crisis. How could he explain to her what he felt when he couldn’t explain it to himself? His body leapt in an almost literal sense to close the distance between them but there was something in his bones that anchored him in place.

“I know not what i was, Taurina, but it came from my hands...I think.” He ran his hands along her arms up onto her shoulders and neck then slowly down until he caught her fingers in his own. HIs eyes followed his grip and when he had finished speaking, an impulse caused him to pull his right hand away and the fingers curled into the Drykas sign for magic. He frowned a bit at this and ignored it, his hand taking hold of the woman’s graceful fingers once more. “It seemed to listen to me but I don’t know how it covered your arms just that it wanted to protect you from...touch or harm.” He didn’t really have a good answer but he had to try. Azmere lingered a moment, his aching leg and weakened form tilted in towards the elegance of the Ethaefal and just when his forehead was about to touch her own, he straightened himself and resumed their walk towards her home.

He pulled her along and tucked the soft skinned woman against his side. Azmere didn’t understand his breakdown. He didn’t understand the numbness and sudden loss of function nor did he have a way to comprehend all that she had said. Yet none of these things seemed to matter. The man with multicolored eyes was beginning to feel very comfortable with Taurina around almost to the point that he was unsure what he would do if she simply disappeared. You’d go mad. His mind kindly explained. Yes, that seemed likely. Reason and logic were seldom in line with emotional thoughts in terms of what he could remember but the bouncer had not felt as light nor as free as he had tonight with the dark-haired enchantress.

Azmere allowed her to lead him along to her home since he had no idea where they were going. Once their gaits aligned and their steps fell in sync once more, the man started to work through her statements out loud; his voice soft but clear. “I believe what you say, Taurina,” He loved to hear her name in his own voice. The simple joy of its pronunciation eased his shaking hands a small bit. “I find myself wondering what kind of world exists where you would ever be alone or unimportant. You’re this light and the world is full of darkness that needs your kind of gift.” He smiled a small half smile at her. Subconsciously, the man had placed her on his right.

“There’s a large part of me, the man without any memories, who is grateful to the man I used to be.” His unmarred skin flushed bright red again. “I feel very fortunate to have met you- twice now- and this old man was kind to you so you’ve been kind to me.” His shoulders gave her a shrug that sucked her up under his arm and against his ribs and armor. “I am sorry that my accident broke you.” He stopped as she did having reached her door. Azmere was not done. He spun the woman until she faced him and held his weathered hands against her arms so that he could gaze into her pale grace and finish his thoughts. “I know not what lies ahead for me or whether there is a way to gain what I’ve lost. From this day on- in whatever fashion you choose- I will be here for you.”

The starred eyes twinkled slightly as his heart began to race. “You can’t lose me because I’d be aimless without your guidance. That’s why we’re here, now. You came to find me. Twice now, you’ve shined your light into my shattered black world and held the storms back.” Azmere drew her up as his words quickened and tone shrank down into more of a whisper. “I have not had a single dream since I can remember but I’d pray to any god if he let me see your face in my sleep. My heart beats for you. My hands steady for you. My eyes weep for you and I fear nothing when we touch.” His right hand slid quickly to her hand and twisted so he could interlock his fingers with hers. He bent them down one at a time to hold her grip firmly. “There’s a part of me that doesn’t want my memories back…” He voiced out loud and stopped, his eyes following the waves of hair as they tumbled about her face, neck and shoulders. “I know I need them- I need to realize my past to conquer my future but if I am empty then I would have more places to put memories of you.” Without taking his eyes from Taurina, he slowly pulled her hand closer to him then twisted it around against his body. The big arm pushed up and brought her well-cared for skin up to his lips. The dry lips dotted a kiss on each knuckle before lowering her arm back down to a more relaxed position. “Now… what did you want to tell me?”

[Taurina]

His hands shook harder but they did not release her as her words, and then silence, filled the space between them. There was still more, always more, dancing on the tip of her tongue but she could not bring herself to say it, not even as her gaze of indigo locked with the gaze of stars. Could not bring herself to say three simple little words; to tell him exactly how wholly she was his. The reason why escaped her. She had told the wind, she had told the bartender at the tavern, she had told Koshin and others. Yet now that he was here, before her, alive again, those words escaped her. They ran so far away yet were so close that she could not reach them but she could feel them within her very bones. In every touch, every word, they were there threatening to explode from her and shatter existence as she knew it. Because telling him would be to let go of the very last thing that protected her from pain. Telling him would be to bare her soul to him and allow for the sting of rejection to strike true should he not give her the answer she wanted. The answer she needed.

The touches between them were gentle, loving. The soft brush of fingertips against cheek and hands running over arms till fingertips were reached and grips locked. Azmere tried to explain to her what had happened, that somehow it was him who had created the now vanished barrier. Taurina did not believe it at first. Surely it had to have been a god. Surely it had to have been some monster who did not wish to see them together. The same thing that had taken him from her in the first place. But then he pulled his hand away to make the Drykas sign for *magic* and Taurina understood then. She did not know why she had not thought of it before, though whatever magic it was was not one she knew the name of. To be fair, she did not know the names of many. Reimancy was the one she had been given, the others were just things she had been told about or read about in one of the tomes at the library. Nothing in depth, nothing she had taken the time to learn. But her beloved had been different. In Endrykas he had told her about a sort of web, something he had tied her to, a Drykas magic. Whatever this was, perhaps it was the same.

“You signed magic,” she explained to him gentle for she had noticed the confusion on his face, giving his hands a small squeeze, “pavi, our language, uses word and hands. It seems your muscles remember even if you do not.”

Taurina gave him a soft smile, a blush rising to coat her cheeks. She knew he wanted to protect her for he had told her as much but for him to channel that want into something djed infused, so powerful it took her from him, well.. it was flattering in a way. Such attention and care was still something she was unused to. Had once been slowly getting used to until it was stolen from her. Now that it was back, that he was back, she would have to just get used to it again. Remember what it was to have someone to protect her, care for her.. want her. Taurina sighed softly.

“Not again,” she pleaded soft, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand, “protect me as you will, whatever way, but don’t take me from you. Please?”

Silence draped over them like a blanket in the darkness while they took a moment to just stand there hand in hand. Taurina was content here, happy even, now that the storm had passed. She rubbed her thumbs gently along the backs of his hands as he leaned into her, forehead nearing close until he suddenly stood upright and pulled her against his side. It was easy to be pulled into his side. An arm wrapped instinctually around him as fingers found fingers to intertwine with. She would keep him near and be as close to him as she could for as long as she could; she was determined to keep the storms at bay, the darkness from flooding his mind again. There was no way she knew how to do that but being near him seemed like a start. Letting him know that he was loved and cared for and needed seemed like things that might help him find his way should he get lost again.

The rest of their walk was uneventful, quiet, as Leth’s pale light lit their path. The Ethaefal took the lead for he let her and she knew he did not know the way. The apartment was not much further from where they had been but time seemed to stretch long as his soft words filled the air immediately surrounding them. Taurina felt the heat of red as it rose beneath her cheeks and ran to the tips of her ears. He believed her. While she had not lied, it gave relief to know that. It gave relief to hear him call her by her name. She would never tire of the sound of it on his lips. Then he told her that he could not imagine the world she had described, the world where she had been a simple nobody, and then he told her once more that she was a light. This caused a whimper to rise in her throat, her face burying in his shoulder. To hear such words again… to be reminded of how he had once thought of her and now thought of her again though he did not remember his past.. everything. Why could she not bring herself to tell him she loved him?

More words filled his mouth, soft and sweet, as they neared her front door. He said he was grateful to the man that he used to be, that he was grateful they had met. His face was red, which she saw in a small glance up at him, and hers was burning which was why she hid from him pressed against him. He apologized for breaking her, for the accident that had taken him from her, she whimpered again something soft and pathetic. Her mind reared its head in a revolt against her, a hatred wishing to destroy her for the weakness she showed, but she shot it down. Not tonight. She would not get lost in such swirling emotions tonight. Not as long as Azmere held her close. She would not allow it.

They reached her door but that did not bring an end to his words. It only brought an end to her hiding. He drew her out from his side and held her arms in his hands once more. His eyes searched for hers though she tried to hide in the shadows. She failed for gazes locked and his thought was finished in a promise. A promise that he would always be there for her. That however she chose, he would not leave her again. It was a promise he had made before but that did not matter. Nothing mattered. Not the past, not the future, just the now. Just them as they stood in the shadow of her doorway and words continued to pour from him. Quieted to a whisper, his words quickened as he confessed all that was inside of him. As he pulled her close and told her just what it was she did to him and how he wished for more. How he wished to see her in his dreams and fill his empty mind with memories of her. She smiled though emotions that overwhelmed caused tears to streak down her face and her hands to shake. How? How could he say such things? He did not know her. He did not remember her. Yet there was no lie in his gaze. There was no trick in his words. He meant it all.

‘I love you.’

Gods.. why couldn’t she say it out loud?! Why did something that seemed so simple strike the greatest fear in her heart? Her sigh was silent, frustration with herself rising in her chest. Though it all melted away as he pressed lips against her knuckles and caused her heart to flutter and warmth to spread. It was unfair what he did to her. How he unraveled her and put her back together with a such simple actions. Heat rose to fill in pale cheeks rosy again. It seemed impossible that things would ever again return to normal. She found herself okay with that idea. If only she could get over her inability to tell him what she longed to. If only she could cast that remaining bit of fear out from her. A long breath was drug in, blown out, as she tried to find a way around it. A way to do what she wished in spite of the cage around her tongue.

The Ethaefal did not get the chance. Did not figure it out before his question was asked and her feelings melted into something calmer. Memory took her back to the reason she had gone to find him in the first place and while the answer he looked for filled her mind, everything else began to evaporate. Taurina smiled soft and rubbed her eyes against her shoulder to wipe away the tears. Her fingers closed around his and she nodded towards the door.

“Lets go inside, this might take some explaining,” she said to him before she released a hand so that she might grab her key from her pack and open the place up.

The apartment was not exactly simple but not exactly elaborate either. She lived nicely, better than she ever had in Endrykas, but the place was also empty. Void of any other life. It had been so since the end of spring when Alekxandra’s contract had been taken up and the Kelvic had stopped coming every night. Taurina found the place lonely and dark, but she did not voice this. Instead she left Azmere so that she might grab her flint and stone from a table by the couch and attend to the fire. A few strikes and some pokes at the sticks had it going well enough. Shadows danced along the walls as the place was lit up with a soft orange light. Taurina sighed soft and pulled the bouncer towards the couch, sitting down and relaxing into it as she watched the reflection of flames flicker against his face.

“The library,” she started again, “had books on everything, but there was not much on memory. Not much on how to get it back. Not from what I could find anyway. But I stumbled upon a book of religion. A listing of the gods and their domains.”

Taurina looked away from him and into the fire, shadows of questions the book had raised dancing in her eyes. She attempted to push it all away. Not tonight. Tonight was not the night to dwell. Not the night to bring any of it up. So the Ethaefal plowed along, though she kept her gaze on the fire even as she spoke.

“There are so many, more than I ever knew,” she admitted, a tingling of fear in her voice for all that power was something she struggled to get her mind around, “There is a goddess of memories, but if her people are here they are hidden too well to find. So another came to my attention. Nysel, the god of dreams. He has an alter here, a temple of his people.”

She looked back to him then, her hand reaching out to take captive his own. She held it close and brushed her thumb back over his hand in a back and forth motion. Her gaze searched for his own for she wanted to look at him for this. She wanted him to know how much hope she had.

“I went to the temple and I talked to one of his dreamwalkers. They can help you find answers. Use the powers granted to them by their god to find what it is you are looking for,” she told him, a kernel of that hope brightening her eyes, “They are secretive, did not tell me how it works really, but they gave enough for me to believe it is a solution. At least, in part if not the whole. There is hope.”

Taurina’s smile was soft, happy, and hopefully as her eyes remained shining. She wanted this to be an answer. She wanted him to find what he was looking for and more. For peace to fill him, the darkness banished, and storms stilled. Happiness. She wanted him to find happiness.

“Azmere,” she started again in a pause of silence, her voice barely a whisper over the crackling of the fire, “I want you to know that I choose you, and I choose this, whatever it is that pulls us together again and again despite all odds.”

She drew his hand up close to her chest and tilted her head down to press soft kisses against the knuckles that had saved her from that Akalak. She smiled, her chest swelling with all the emotions boiling inside her. So easy… just three words… but so hard. So impossible. Her thumb ran over those same knuckles, a touch of nerves framing her features as butterflies resumed their assault on her stomach. A sigh escaped, her head shaking. She could not do it. She needed to do it. For herself and maybe even for him. Though at this point she was unsure if it would help him or just do more harm. She hoped the former for the latter was something she never wished to cause him. She sighed again, it should be his choice.

“I want to tell you something,” she admitted, “something about how much you mean to me, something I should have told you a long time ago but never got up the courage to and struggle to find the courage to say even now.” She paused to take a breath, knowing that whatever he chose would be hard for her. “But I know things are difficult right now and I do not wish to make anything worse. So I want you to choose. Do you want to know now or do you want me to wait until after they try to get your memories back?”

Taurina went silent then, completely still besides rapid and shallow breaths. Her heart thumped so loud in her chest she was sure he could hear it from where he sat across from her. Her hands were still as stone holding his, her body near immovable as hope and fear clashed in her eyes. What was he gonna choose? Which path were they about to embark? Could she do it no matter what he chose? The questions swirled.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

Whatever had started the night -the blank spaces, torrential emotions and sinking helplessness- had vanished. Leth was falling across the sky with his silvery light and the noises of the city faded into whispering winds and the serenade of crickets. The scarred man had dolled himself up for a night of work that promised to be boring but it had brought him full circle in a vortex of fate and destiny which now loomed just beyond reach. Azmere clung to her fingers for a moment longer when Taurina tried to peel herself away. The soft noises she made and the way her body fit against him was welcomed; desired.

Like all things, though, there was no way for two people to be inseparable no matter how much of his shattered soul screamed for such an exception. The woman turned and opened her door then ushered them in as a thick black swallowed their sight. The bouncer stood firm by the door as the treasured creature fluttered like a moth into the shadows. His contrasting gaze quickly found her as steel and flint struck with showers of sparks that rained down upon a hearth loaded with tinder. Flames licked to life their fuel and sent waves of orange around the small space. Taurina’s apartment was nicer than his own and the furnishings looked to be a bit on the pricier side but he didn’t focus on the architecture or decorations. The shimmering orbs of gold and blue reflected an elegant form as she moved from place to place then eventually up to the man. She led him to the couch and eased herself down. The less graceful oaf sat but his injured leg permitted no such movements as a delicate drop.

Azmere turned a bit and pulled his leg up across the cushion so that he could face her fully. He felt heavy in his armor yet light-headed. Answers. Even before he had questions, he sought answers. Now he was about to find some after making the discovery that a woman well above his standing in life had devoted herself to him. Ears listened intently as the brain processed the swirls of knowledge that her plump lips released. Like a predator greedily blocking the escape of its prey, the wanderer let nothing go unscathed. Every phrase was tested and placed along a line of logic that he created within his mind. He had no choice but to try and make sense of everything on his own despite trusting that Taurina would no feed him false claims.

The library. A temple. Walking among dreams. Hope. That last word stung him to his very core. Had the beautiful creature run a hot iron through his chest, she could not have impacted him any more than to utter such a word. Azmere didn’t recognize it at first. He could comprehend what such a thing meant but it penetrated the fog of his vacant mind. The shell of his former knowledge seemed to crack a small small line and it was like he suddenly realized that there might come a day when he would know who he was and where he came from. Tears threatened his eyes in two small arcs that hung in his eyelids but the smile which stretched the right side of his face held them at bay. He had said before that he would be alright with just filling his emptiness with the gorgeous shifter and , in part, that was true but deep down -down where the spring of his life bubbled from a plane he’ll never walk and could never know- Azmere needed his memories back.

His hand had been held by her for the entire conversation of which he kept silent. When she went to kiss his fingers, a curious look rose across his visage. Azmere burned in the fire’s light as it danced around Taurina. The fine lines of her cheeks and jaw, the perfect way that her mouth was always parted just so and the black tresses which framed eyes that seemed to glow of their own accord were almost too much. She chose him. She said it out loud and forced him to accept the truth of it when she applied affection as a wax seal upon the scroll. Cursed by the gods but the favored of an apparition of beauty, for the first time in his memory of the current situation, Azmere believed himself to be fortunate.

Taurina posed a question; an offer. She seemed frightened and though the curiosity in him screamed for more answers, he had to backtrack through all that had happened so far and collect his thoughts. The bouncer was not a deep thinker that he could remember. His problems had been so glaring that deciphering levels of reactions and consequences had yet to present itself as an issue. The stars splintered in his eyes soaked in the woman across from him. She trembled with breaths that seemed to be doing more harm than good. This was the first tier. Azmere knew he had to do whatever it took to make her feel at ease the way she had been when they walked hand in hand. Her presence against him spiked his feverish skin and drew the pounding of his heart into every digit and every feature of his face but the man focused upon his own breathing to calm the sensation. It helped very little.

Finally, after several moments of silence, Azmere spoke in a hushed sort of tone. It was almost like he was afraid to disrupt the peace that had settled in the room’s majestic firelight ballet. “Taurina.” Just the mention of her name drove him to lean closer but only slightly. “Thank you for all that you have done.” His hand that she held grasped her gently and drew her towards him while his free hand rose to her soft cheek. He allowed his rough fingers to glide against her smoothness until the tips found her lucious black hair. The bottom of his hand supported her jaw and he leaned in just a bit more as he drew her into their center. “Let yourself relax.” Azmere’s other hand slipped her grasp and mirrored its partner. His fingers began to massage slow circlesby angling pressure from his tips against her scalp. “Find peace in this; in us.” The man’s tone had become invigorated but his volume remained hushed.

“All you have accomplished will not be a waste of time.” His eyes watched her face as he spoke. He stared into the pools of indigo that made his soul cry for a change to dive into their depths. “I will go to this place and speak with the people there. I will find answers for us…” He paused for a moment. It had occurred to him that he should have named himself but he didn’t. He called them both. “I will see if I cannot relearn how to tame the power that covered you earlier.” His hands continued to blend away at the tension in her skin. “I am sorry if I frightened you but it was just my true self trying to shield you from something.” Maybe even myself his mind rattled. The nuisance was ignored and the azure and amber stare remained fixed upon the wondrous and familiar creature who sat in his hands.

Azmere felt his throat attempt to dry out for what was about to be said was not some explanation of a strange event or a simple thank you. With a firm jaw, he soldiered onward into the great unknown. “You choose me, Taurina. I accept. Gladly,” his eyes twinkled a bit in the fire as the joy of his words brightened his tone, “and had I known that someone like you who is as kind as she is beautiful was mine to choose, I would do so over and over and over again.” His grip on her face seemed to tighten for a moment but Azmere became aware quickly and eased his ministrations. His eyes took in the armor and its heaviness. It did not belong but he didn’t want to release her. The vagabond wrestled with his words and these thoughts even though he persisted; eyes never straying from hers.

“Zulkina, the only thing you could ever say to me that would make my life worse would be good bye.” He did his best to let the happiness that she had infected upon him show on his face and in his eyes. “Tell me if you must or save it for a time when you know it will mean the most.” Azmere had been slowly leaning closer and drawing her towards him as well. The entire conversation had been one long, slow collision that was destined to create a beautiful disaster. The man’s voice dropped to a whisper as he was sure she could feel the warmth from his face and the breath of his lips upon her skin. “Whatever happens...I choose you, Taurina.” Azmere shut his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever and released the two lonely tears that had been hiding amongst his lashes for so long. He brought her forehead against his own and pressed the right side of his nose alongside her own. His hands shifted as the left slipped to her neck and the right tunneled into her hair with all of his fingers. The heat of her body was lost on his armor and it saddened him but he was not going to break this embrace. His lips were off to the side of her round, pouting mouth and he whispered once more as if strained by the weight of the words. “I choose you.”

[Taurina]

Silence broke with the sound of her name. So soft and kind, spoken like the gentle melody of a song or like a prayer. She wished he could know her god given name, that she could find a way to put it in his mind like it was in hers. To hear him say that name.. it hurt to know that it would never be so. That the name given to her in Ukalas would forever be lost within it for the tongues of mortals could not form such words. But this would do. The name she had given to herself would do. Because she had chosen it and it was now who she was, who Azmere knew her to be, and she would not have changed that for the world.

He thanked her. He thanked her for all she had done as the hand she did not hold drifted up to meet the skin of her cheek. The gaze of indigo shined with tears as he spoke, as hands cupped her face and fingers tangled with her hair. Relax. Find peace. Us. Find peace in us.. there was an us. She pressed her face into his hold, whimpering softly though a smile pulled at her lips. There was no need for thanks. She would do it all over again in a heartbeat, no questions asked. Nothing was too much for him and she would give all she had until there was nothing left, and then she would find a way to give him more. Crazy. People would call her crazy if they knew. Lovestruck. A fool. An idiot. But they did not know. They knew nothing. Not of the past or of the present and definitely not of the future.

Somewhere, deep in her gut, Taurina knew this was more than what she knew. That whoever they were stretched beyond their lives as they were now. That some souls were destined to be together and that no matter what, over and over they would find each other. Always they would find each other.

The ankal promised that he would go to the place she had found for him. He promised that he would search for answers there, allowing the dreamwalkers to help him, and that he would try to find a way to control whatever magic it was that had stolen him from her touch. Then he apologized for it. He apologized for protecting her, for frightening her. Taurina could not help but shake her head. Never, never should he apologize for such things. Not for protecting her. Perhaps for frightening her, but right then she did not care much about that either. All she cared about was him, them, for things to be the way they were meant to be. They were not right then, but they were going to get there. In a way that was messy and chaotic but then, that was their lives. Had always been their lives.

His next words caused her hands to shake and her chest to ache. He accepted. He accepted her choosing him. Indigo eyes filled with tears that were far more happy than sad as she drew nearer him and rested one of those shaking hands against his chest. She damned the armor then. Hating that she was blocked from touching him as she wished, from feeling his warmth against her hand. She whimpered soft as he went on to tell her that over and over and over he would choose her. He called her kind and he called her beautiful. Such words caused her cheeks to burn but she did not try to hide it this time. Instead she kept her gaze fixed on his as each word sweet as honey dripped from his lips. She did not miss a syllable.

Zulkina.

That word.. that nickname.. Taurina was thankful that they sat for she would have surely collapsed had they been standing. Her bottom lip trembled, the shaking in her hands worsening. His eyes, his face, shone with such happiness as he promised she could make nothing worse whatever it was she had to say unless it was goodbye. No, it was definitely not goodbye. She did not even know if she would be able to watch him leave after this. That she could live being alone in this big empty apartment again. He told her that she could tell him now if she wished, or save it for later if it would mean more. An answer, not an answer, Taurina whimpered again. She felt pathetic and weak. Unable to say anything more than whimper softly and hope he understood that she was not upset but so so happy and overwhelmed with having him back. Overwhelmed with all that had happened tonight.

The pair had been drawing closer and closer through their speech. Now the Ethaefal could feel the male’s breath as it mingled with her own. Feel his warmth as it surrounded her and cast out the chill better than any fire. His words were just a whisper. Just hushed words, but oh did they mean so much. Were they everything the woman had wanted to hear. Needed to hear. She cried as he told her that he chose her. She cried as he drew their foreheads together and buried one hand in her hair with the other on her neck. Their noses rubbed together, lips coming near lips though not in a kiss. In more words. ‘I choose you.’

Something heavy and binding broke within the Ethaefal at those words. The chains of fear shattered. The bonds of insecurity destroyed. In that moment, nothing could stop her. Nothing could stand against her. Against them.

“I love you.” The words came in a rush of relief and need and honesty. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Her eyes sparkled with tears and happiness as she said it over and over again. She did not know if he would understand. If he would think her as crazy as everyone else was sure to. But she suddenly did not care. Suddenly none of that mattered. Because he had chosen her and she had chosen him, and that was all that mattered.

“Azmere.” Shaking hands became still as she rested them along his jaw and ran thumbs down his cheeks. “I love you.”

She raised her lips so that she might kiss away the tears he had shed. One cheek, then the other.

“I love you,” she murmured soft after each one.

Hands ran over the shaven sides of his head before arms came to wrap around his neck. Taurina pulled herself near him, her ethereal body matching up against his near perfectly. Two puzzle pieces fitted together. Meant to be. Only the armor disturbed the otherwise perfect fit. Her face rested against his again. Forehead against forehead, nose against nose, lips beside lips.

“I love you.” A murmur soft as a prayer before lips tilted so that they might meet his in a kiss long overdue.

Soft and warm and sweet was the taste of his lips. Gentle and sloppy and inexperienced were hers. Still, there was nothing lacking. Nothing she would have changed. This was everything that the woman who dared to dream had ever imagined. A beautiful disaster. A chaotic mess. Memories lacking and hearts in pieces. Whatever they were, wherever they were going, somehow everything was exactly as it should be.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Azmere]

Hands clutched her face gently but with a fervor like one afraid of losing a prized treasure. Azmere felt her body tremble when he said certain things and he noticed the slight whimpers that confused and excited him. What did they mean? A touch of confusion was not unhealthy nor was it overly distracting and the wanderer was quick to move on with his focus to more pressing and more beautiful things.

The woman’s eyes filled with tears that never feel because they existed, much like his own, in a bubble of joy that could not be explained. Why do we cry when we’re happy? Why do we laugh when we’re sad? Such things fluttered about like moths to a flame in his mind but the even conscious state of affairs on the couch bathed in a fire’s warm glow was the only thing that truly mattered. Taurina was a culmination of things that, quite simply, demolished every notion that Azmere had of himself, of life and of the world. Gorgeous, well-dressed and obviously capable of caring for herself, she had invested her time and energy to help him. Him- a man who was filthy and unstable at the first encounter. That is to say that it’s the first he remembered. According to the woman with blue jewels for eyes, they had shared many occasions together in another place and time.

It was strange for Azmere to accept this. It was almost like he had to admit that his soul had known her in another life. The concept of being recycled and returned to experience a whole new life of pain, suffering and wandering seemed cruel. It had to be cruel. What are the odds that in all the rounds of lives he’s played he would find the glorious soul that rested in his hands right now? Slim. Yet, here they sat. Touching and talking in low voices near a fire that was not even the third hottest thing in the room. Heat, ughh, the man thought. He was sweltering in his armor and waited for an opening to peel away some of his leatherbound heft.

The instant their faces touched, something cracked inside the man. He felt- warm but not uncomfortable. His insides lit up as if Taurina had shined a torch into Azmere’s empty husk in search of his true self. The breath and gentle brush of her eyelashes as she closed them tickled his face. Her hands found his head and hair which triggered a quick, delicate movement. He slipped his hands from her hair and around her body so weathered fingers could quickly untie the knots on his bracers. One was undone and he was nearly through the second when she started speaking a single phrase over and over again. Shock filled him. He had to question each work for the recollection of such things was slow but the emotion in every syllable rocked him like a heavy haymaker. She loves me.

The vagabond simmered in a mess of thoughts that began to form a line of logic which made sense. He felt cold shoot up his spine which made him tremble. Fingers quickly finished their work and yanked each piece of armor from his arms with no time to spare. When her lips stole his tears, the large limbs curled around her lithe figure with a crushing grace that lent itself to only a single ideal: mine. Azmere suddenly realized what she had been saying. Taurina claimed him. Not only had she chosen him but now she was proclaiming out loud that he belonged to her for she had given herself fully to him. The man opened his lips, the dry tack creating a split tick delay which prevented him from responding after she had caught his second tear. By then, it was too late for talking.

The moment her lips met his, Azmere’s world exploded.

His arms drew her in so tight that it might have pained her slightly. He inhaled through his nostrils which caused them to flare and take in her scent while his jaw relaxed so his mouth would mesh with hers. Taurina’s lips were plump and he could almost feel the pout they normally held as the salt of their skins trickled into the moist embrace. Azmere was not a poet. He was not an artist. Even if he had been some kind of master in either of these things during a past life, he would never be able to capture what this felt like. His right hand crossed over the left and traced along her spine up her neck and into her hair. He did not push but strongly guided her head to tilt just a little more so their kiss could deepen with more pressure fueled by emotions that the warrior would never understand. With his eyes wide shut, painfully squeezed to prevent any light from entering, he fell into a blissful darkness that knew only one thing: Taurina.

His heart thudded so hard against his armor as he pressed their bodies together that he believed she just might feel it despite the insulating leather between them. His hands gripped at her scalp and torso while the rest of the man twisted just slightly in an effort to bring the woman across his legs. His body was jealous that his arms, hands and lips gotall of the attention. The whole of his being -every ounce- demanded to be a part of this event. There was no need for words. No need for ceremonies. No need for oaths but the fact of the matter was as clear as a cloudless sky over the Sea of Grass… Azmere would never be the same again.

He swelled with pride at this explosion of passion and acceptance. The scarred man would be better in every way at any cost to prove his worth to this woman. His hands worked back and forth along the fabric of her dress and the tension of her skin beneath was noted with every pass until both hands were in her hair and compressing the soft silk of it while his fingers danced around and under her horns. Azmere was running out of air but he pressed his lips even more trying to keep an even force. He did not want to break this but as all things do, the kiss would end. The man tilted his head so their foreheads touched once more, his fingers still massaging her scalp. His mouth parted in an expression that might have mirrored exhaustion but it was more a relaxed or welcomed kind of shock. He breathed in shallow breaths with rapid succession that filled his burning lungs with air. The cool across his lips angered him so the man with two faces ran his tongue over them slowly. Taurina tasted like something familiar but he couldn’t place it.

Gently, his big hands guided her down upon the couch until his back was against the cushions and her body was laid out prone though mostly curled in his lap. He wore a silly half grin as if he were drunk and couldn’t contain the joy that sparkled behind his mismatched eyes. His shoulders rose and fell with the abbreviated breaths and while he never left focus from the swimming pools of starry skies that stared back at him, his hands went to work to remove and undo the latches that held the breastplate. In a choked and horse whisper, he tried to speak but it took several words before the statement became clear. “Please don’t think me strange but I need to feel you against my skin.” He just wanted to be near her to be as close as he could. The man had no voracious appetites for lustful things. He had baser desires but his emotions trumped every ounce them right now. The need was born of the soul seeking to be with its match- to feel its partner as fire touches light. One in the same.