Kelski wasn’t sure telling Crylon all about her past was the best course of action, but it was the only way she could think of to make him understand her bitterness. And truthfully could a man who had lived free all his life and hasn’t had to bow or service another unwilling ever truly understand a set of circumstances? They could sympathize with them, but they didn’t necessarily understand them.
Had he ever taken blows he was defenseless to prevent? Had he ever been hungry or thirsty for days and days on end? Had he ever had to make his bed out of a nest at the bottom of a musty wardrobe because no bed was provided a stupid simple slave? She didn’t know. And she was afraid to ask. Those were personal things and so far he hadn’t seemed to willing to talk about his personal life.
So she was surprised at his words, where he admitted he couldn’t understand. Crylon was wise, and the more she talked to him the more she was glad for her decision to hire him. Not only was he good in a fight – even if he felt killing was a waste – but he had a mind perched on his shoulders and just not a jaw to unhinge and shove food into.
He launched into a big analogy full of colorful metaphors that almost lost Kelski. But in the end, she got the gist of what he was saying and nodded thoughtfully. “It makes sense. I haven’t thought about it that way though… its hard to get through the anger… to let it go… long enough not to hate or not to think the worst of everyone before you get to know them.” She added, wondering how much of an excuse that actually was.
He spoke more and she thought about it longer. Was he saying that she was gifting power to the humans by letting herself hate them and behave a specific way because of them?” The Kelvic tilted her head and looked thoughtful.
“I don’t want to hate them, Crylon. My people were made to serve humans loyally. I want to find someone to partner up with. I want to find someone to love, to protect, to have their backs always. I want to work with someone who will ….” She paused, tilting her head slightly with a puzzled expression on her face for a moment. It felt almost for a moment like she had met someone like that but it was a crazy thought. Kelski had been flying solo a long time.
“… who will always support me, who needs me… its how we are built. But somehow I don’t think I can… I don’t think the things inside of me that are Kelvic are working correctly. My kind bond with people, share our lives and emotions, know where each other are at all times…. and I’m older now. No one has come close to letting me bond. I have a crazy feeling I can’t… or someone has told me I can’t.” She looked puzzled, then shook her head, finding her memories empty of any such a thing even though it felt right.
His rat analogy was brilliant. It dove right into the part of her mind that liked to keep things simple and clear cut. She nodded slowly as he painted the picture of the store room and the rats and how unnecessary the hate was. And she smiled when he was done, looking a little sheepish, a little stunned.
“I had no idea that I was…. doing that. Giving them so much of myself they haven’t earned and that they shouldn’t have. I would think hating the rats in the store room would do more damage to the hater than the actual rats. If one simply didn’t care and put that energy into preventing rats from getting into the store room, one’s productivity is far better. Ones mind health….” Was there even a word for that? “… would be stronger?” She would ask him if that made sense, but she was sure that’s what he was getting at.
“You make a good point. Talking with you is a lot like dancing in circles. If we were fighting, I would either call a halt and a tie in the ring, or I would simply concede to you for your logic. It feels circular though… like we are spinning around and around.” She said with a slight laugh.
“Yes. I won’t let them do that to me. Thank you for your words.” She said, deciding he was right, even as she leaned a hip up against a half-fallen wall and took a break from walking around and clearing out the debris of the squatters camp.
“Oh.. fallen of Leth. Yes I found a sky stone too…. It gave me a third eye for a while. Then it turned into something else entirely. But that’s not what I mean. There are people that belong to Leth and Syna – either one or the other – and they fall from the sky like those stones did. They are called Ethaefal. If they are Leth’s children, at night they have this beautiful form with horns that change as the seasons change and during the day they appear whatever race they were before they died and ascending to Leth’s realm. Syna’s children have that same form as well, but they keep it during the day. At dusk they assume whatever form they had when they died in the life before. I think most are human, or at least the one I know was human. But they are immortal... they live forever unless someone kills them.” She said thoughtfully.
“Shall we head towards The Gem and get you a room selected and you settled in?” She said softly, looking thoughtfully at him. They could talk more about Eth’s as they walked or he could start on another subject. Kelski was a bit hesitant about introducing him to The Gem, but there were things he’d need to know about the building before he moved in.
“I need to tell you about The Midnight Gem too… its… a little unique.” She said as she gestured, hoping he’d follow along with her. If Crylon agreed, they could retrace their steps for the moment, and head back to the neighboring building. “It has a quality of life to it, like it is a living breathing thing….” She said quietly, hoping he would just accept it being from the old Kingdom of Sultros where such things were still heard of. “… and before you say anything, I need to ask you to keep it to yourself. Here in Sunberth, such things aren’t easily understood and it could lead to a mob trying to burn it down. The Gem is amazing, and will be a very good place to live. But I don’t want you unwarned to its more unique qualities before you step foot inside.” She said thoughtfully, glancing at Crylon to judge his reaction.
Had he ever taken blows he was defenseless to prevent? Had he ever been hungry or thirsty for days and days on end? Had he ever had to make his bed out of a nest at the bottom of a musty wardrobe because no bed was provided a stupid simple slave? She didn’t know. And she was afraid to ask. Those were personal things and so far he hadn’t seemed to willing to talk about his personal life.
So she was surprised at his words, where he admitted he couldn’t understand. Crylon was wise, and the more she talked to him the more she was glad for her decision to hire him. Not only was he good in a fight – even if he felt killing was a waste – but he had a mind perched on his shoulders and just not a jaw to unhinge and shove food into.
He launched into a big analogy full of colorful metaphors that almost lost Kelski. But in the end, she got the gist of what he was saying and nodded thoughtfully. “It makes sense. I haven’t thought about it that way though… its hard to get through the anger… to let it go… long enough not to hate or not to think the worst of everyone before you get to know them.” She added, wondering how much of an excuse that actually was.
He spoke more and she thought about it longer. Was he saying that she was gifting power to the humans by letting herself hate them and behave a specific way because of them?” The Kelvic tilted her head and looked thoughtful.
“I don’t want to hate them, Crylon. My people were made to serve humans loyally. I want to find someone to partner up with. I want to find someone to love, to protect, to have their backs always. I want to work with someone who will ….” She paused, tilting her head slightly with a puzzled expression on her face for a moment. It felt almost for a moment like she had met someone like that but it was a crazy thought. Kelski had been flying solo a long time.
“… who will always support me, who needs me… its how we are built. But somehow I don’t think I can… I don’t think the things inside of me that are Kelvic are working correctly. My kind bond with people, share our lives and emotions, know where each other are at all times…. and I’m older now. No one has come close to letting me bond. I have a crazy feeling I can’t… or someone has told me I can’t.” She looked puzzled, then shook her head, finding her memories empty of any such a thing even though it felt right.
His rat analogy was brilliant. It dove right into the part of her mind that liked to keep things simple and clear cut. She nodded slowly as he painted the picture of the store room and the rats and how unnecessary the hate was. And she smiled when he was done, looking a little sheepish, a little stunned.
“I had no idea that I was…. doing that. Giving them so much of myself they haven’t earned and that they shouldn’t have. I would think hating the rats in the store room would do more damage to the hater than the actual rats. If one simply didn’t care and put that energy into preventing rats from getting into the store room, one’s productivity is far better. Ones mind health….” Was there even a word for that? “… would be stronger?” She would ask him if that made sense, but she was sure that’s what he was getting at.
“You make a good point. Talking with you is a lot like dancing in circles. If we were fighting, I would either call a halt and a tie in the ring, or I would simply concede to you for your logic. It feels circular though… like we are spinning around and around.” She said with a slight laugh.
“Yes. I won’t let them do that to me. Thank you for your words.” She said, deciding he was right, even as she leaned a hip up against a half-fallen wall and took a break from walking around and clearing out the debris of the squatters camp.
“Oh.. fallen of Leth. Yes I found a sky stone too…. It gave me a third eye for a while. Then it turned into something else entirely. But that’s not what I mean. There are people that belong to Leth and Syna – either one or the other – and they fall from the sky like those stones did. They are called Ethaefal. If they are Leth’s children, at night they have this beautiful form with horns that change as the seasons change and during the day they appear whatever race they were before they died and ascending to Leth’s realm. Syna’s children have that same form as well, but they keep it during the day. At dusk they assume whatever form they had when they died in the life before. I think most are human, or at least the one I know was human. But they are immortal... they live forever unless someone kills them.” She said thoughtfully.
“Shall we head towards The Gem and get you a room selected and you settled in?” She said softly, looking thoughtfully at him. They could talk more about Eth’s as they walked or he could start on another subject. Kelski was a bit hesitant about introducing him to The Gem, but there were things he’d need to know about the building before he moved in.
“I need to tell you about The Midnight Gem too… its… a little unique.” She said as she gestured, hoping he’d follow along with her. If Crylon agreed, they could retrace their steps for the moment, and head back to the neighboring building. “It has a quality of life to it, like it is a living breathing thing….” She said quietly, hoping he would just accept it being from the old Kingdom of Sultros where such things were still heard of. “… and before you say anything, I need to ask you to keep it to yourself. Here in Sunberth, such things aren’t easily understood and it could lead to a mob trying to burn it down. The Gem is amazing, and will be a very good place to live. But I don’t want you unwarned to its more unique qualities before you step foot inside.” She said thoughtfully, glancing at Crylon to judge his reaction.