Lani couldn’t help the pit that was forming in her chest at Oresnya’s words. Even though her face was slack and impassive, Lani was unintentionally clutching her quill with white knuckles, not even bothering to pretend writing anymore. The pure and unaltered truth that wound out of the Symenestra’s mouth was nearly repulsive to Lani. Fear at inherently bloodthirsty as these Symenestra seemed to be, and how mundane the gruesome details seemed to Oresnya made Lani shiver at the mention of the Symenestra’s own mother. Ignorance and foreignness clouded her vision as she listened to the horror of childbirth among the cave-dwelling peoples.
Of course the fear did not stop her questions, rather accenting them into a perception she didn’t intend. Or did she? Oresnya bit back at her accusation of love for Yora not being enough to stop her death. Still, Lani could not help but lean back into the back of her seat, further away from the flash of fangs that Lani could only describe as her own imagination. For Lani, the template for sentient life was humans. Anything else was odd and foreign, even herself. And in that moment, Oresnya did not seem much more than a monster inhabiting a humanoid body. But weren’t the Jamoura completely apes, except for their size and intelligence? Weren’t the Konti scaled and pale beyond any human pallor? Even herself, with her odd eyes, second lids, and strange finger tips. Surely there were more than simply humans, and she was just racist.
Sparing Oresnya from her accusing glare, Lani looked down at her paper, softening her fingers on the pencil, and convincing herself she had imagined the brief flash of fangs. She was able to seize her breathing once again, and calm her fearful reaction to Oresnya’s story and existence. So this was the reason this Symenestra faced so much more abuse and hate than Lani ever would? Foolish of me to think Black Eyes were the worst trait to have in a place like this. Lani chastised herself, taking a gulp and looking back up at the woman with new eyes, trying to understand. What Oresnya had said, about not wishing a different fate for her beloved Yora, was harsh, but it was the truth. And it was more brave than anything Lani would ever admit to. On this, Oresnya was already a better person, despite the horror of her people.
And then the woman asked Lani a pointed question right back.
”I know my family.” She said, impassively. It was a blatant lie, and she hadn’t thought it through enough to match her body language to the lie. She could hear the falsehood in her voice, and then she realized that she hadn’t actually answered the question. Oresnya had posed her a hypothetical. The Symenestra had no idea how often Lani had gone without mother or father figure, but Lani had interpreted it as that. Trying to correct her subterfuge, Lani tried to make peace with the subject, voicing the realization she had come to just moments prior. ”But we don’t have a choice do we? Fate works exactly how it will, and what is done is done. You gained a great sister and then you lost her, without choice.” You shouldn’t feel bad about that. Lani wanted to say, but swallowed her words instead. Although she wanted to give this stranger the benefit of the doubt, innate fear and prejudice stopped her short of being too understanding, outwardly. ”I suppose when you are used to such things, they are no longer as horrific.” She offered instead, trying not to grimace at how not-understanding she still sounded.
”Do you know anything of Yora’s life here? I suppose the Inarta don’t really have ‘family’, but someone must have known and loved her in this mountain, before she came to you.” Lani tried to change the subject, bringing it back to Oresnya’s reason for being in Wind Reach, before they had gotten distracted with the horrors of childbirth.
Of course the fear did not stop her questions, rather accenting them into a perception she didn’t intend. Or did she? Oresnya bit back at her accusation of love for Yora not being enough to stop her death. Still, Lani could not help but lean back into the back of her seat, further away from the flash of fangs that Lani could only describe as her own imagination. For Lani, the template for sentient life was humans. Anything else was odd and foreign, even herself. And in that moment, Oresnya did not seem much more than a monster inhabiting a humanoid body. But weren’t the Jamoura completely apes, except for their size and intelligence? Weren’t the Konti scaled and pale beyond any human pallor? Even herself, with her odd eyes, second lids, and strange finger tips. Surely there were more than simply humans, and she was just racist.
Sparing Oresnya from her accusing glare, Lani looked down at her paper, softening her fingers on the pencil, and convincing herself she had imagined the brief flash of fangs. She was able to seize her breathing once again, and calm her fearful reaction to Oresnya’s story and existence. So this was the reason this Symenestra faced so much more abuse and hate than Lani ever would? Foolish of me to think Black Eyes were the worst trait to have in a place like this. Lani chastised herself, taking a gulp and looking back up at the woman with new eyes, trying to understand. What Oresnya had said, about not wishing a different fate for her beloved Yora, was harsh, but it was the truth. And it was more brave than anything Lani would ever admit to. On this, Oresnya was already a better person, despite the horror of her people.
And then the woman asked Lani a pointed question right back.
”I know my family.” She said, impassively. It was a blatant lie, and she hadn’t thought it through enough to match her body language to the lie. She could hear the falsehood in her voice, and then she realized that she hadn’t actually answered the question. Oresnya had posed her a hypothetical. The Symenestra had no idea how often Lani had gone without mother or father figure, but Lani had interpreted it as that. Trying to correct her subterfuge, Lani tried to make peace with the subject, voicing the realization she had come to just moments prior. ”But we don’t have a choice do we? Fate works exactly how it will, and what is done is done. You gained a great sister and then you lost her, without choice.” You shouldn’t feel bad about that. Lani wanted to say, but swallowed her words instead. Although she wanted to give this stranger the benefit of the doubt, innate fear and prejudice stopped her short of being too understanding, outwardly. ”I suppose when you are used to such things, they are no longer as horrific.” She offered instead, trying not to grimace at how not-understanding she still sounded.
”Do you know anything of Yora’s life here? I suppose the Inarta don’t really have ‘family’, but someone must have known and loved her in this mountain, before she came to you.” Lani tried to change the subject, bringing it back to Oresnya’s reason for being in Wind Reach, before they had gotten distracted with the horrors of childbirth.