Goodbye (Solo)

[Tebridiar]

Day 19, Winter, 510AV

Its strange, the city seemed so beautiful today. White and green and different shades of tan, little accents of bright colour from the crafters and exotic foods. This was the best place in the world.

So why was she leaving?

Tebridiar didn’t know fully herself. But she knew she had to go. Had to get away. It was all too much. She’d said too much, done too much. She had made some fantastic friends but that wasn’t enough. What would be enough to make her happy? Make her feel loved, needed, make her feel at home? She could now answer that question.

Nothing.

She was hollow. Like a glass jar. It looked hard and solid enough on the outside, but they were so easy to break. And they had nothing on the inside of them. Nothing good, nothing substantial. She was broken.

All the memories had resurfaced and it was pretty horrible. They made her feel sick, like she was drowning in her own life. She didn’t have to force herself on these people. She was a bigger monster than anything in the Sea of Grass that was for sure. What else could live through everything she had and still survive?

She shouldn’t exist.

[Tebridiar]

She had everything she needed on her back. Her lovely bow, her little knife, her quiver, a few clothes. That’s all she needed. She actually felt relieved to be leaving it all. They would be sad, surely. If they truly loved her, called her their friend, they would be sad. But they would get over it, everyone did.

She, of all people, should know that.

Walking out was one of the hardest things she had ever done. It felt like it took an age, like she was walking away from everything she had ever really loved. Endrykas had made everything better, healed a lot of wounds. But it would never heal the worst.

Her back. That scar. It would be there forever and it was getting worse. Some of the tissue around it was turning a strange colour, tinged with a blueish-green. What sort of poison had been on that dagger? It made her back ache constantly, a sort of throbbing pain that never went away now. Why was it getting worse?

She instinctively moved her hand round to touch it, but flinched and put her arm at her side again. She had to stop all these stupid impulses. This was the last one she would ever do. Running away was the only thing she felt made sense anymore.

[Tebridiar]

The gates were so close now, huge, looming and tangled. So wild and free, the best kind of beauty. Tebridiar stared at them as she slowly stepped forward, her eyes prickling.

Those guards would think it another hunt, wouldn’t they? Another little bit of shooting practice. But they would never see her again. Never, ever, ever. She didn’t plan on coming back, not now. There was too much here. The Sea of Grass stretched before her, endlessly.

She thought of Trios, the hilarious Isur with anger management problems and a talent for storytelling. She thought of Jarhal, and his way with horses. She though of Edalene, how would she be getting on with Kayiri. And Kayiri, himself, such a proud, kind man. Little Ariel, small but had a personality to make up for it. Conrad, with his cheeky parrot.

Her eyes became blurred as a little tear fell onto her cheek.

And then there was Aleksi. Half of her, that’s what it felt like, belonged to the woman. She thought she would never feel the same way about anyone ever again. It was impossible. Aleksi was brave, beautiful, and most of all, was the nicest person Tebridiar has ever come across. And she loved her, she truly loved her with everything she had, every bone and fibre in her body.

But Aleksi didn’t deserve a shell of a person, a shadow.

That was the main reason, Tebridiar thought, as she ran out of the gates and away from everything. She didn’t want to hurt anyone.