[Velenor's Scrapbook] Rant Corner!

[Velenor Avenca]

Rant #1: A general introduction to who i am, and how it is not really easy to get me mad Well I would like to start off by introducing myself; My name is Dragan, I am sixteen years old, and I come from a small town in the western part of Bosnia. My hobbies would be writing, watching anime, reading books and manga alike, and by some weird coincidence I still have a slight attraction towards a trading card game I used to love in my childhood. I am not saying I am fully grown up now, because I simply lack the arguments; I do feel grown up, the only part I am yet to take care off is paying the bills, and trust me, I have no wish to rush things towards that end. I am what you would call an average guy with average interests, but I have this one thing that makes me special, just like all of you here, I was born to write and create stuff. Usually when people read books, they go like “Ooooh, yeah, that’s nice”, but I actually search for even the slightest of details in my works and the works of others that imply that the one writing the story is enjoying it himself. If that much is truth, everyone else will accept it as long as they have an open mind. That being said, I am quite sure that you either know me as Orion around here, or you don’t know me at all, which is probably a much more common occurrence. I have been with you since the fifth month of the past year and I had my ups and downs in that given time. It’s stretching it quite a bit, to say I am a lovable person that enjoys camaraderie and being all cheerful and chit chat endlessly about things I have little interest in. What would be true however is the fact that I have a stubborn personality. And not so small ego issues, but even with all that, I always and I mean it, always eat my own crap up from the floor if I was indeed the one who owed you an apology. This is a rare thing when it comes to everyday life, but here however, if there is one thing I really try about, it’s being as nice as I can. Sometimes there is simply no helping it, as I do not really have a lenient attitude towards most people when I am in a bad mood. To claim some strange mood swings would be an insane thing to do if you were in my own skin, I have my own issues and they all have their own origins, but I can respect the fact that I am expected to be extremely polite around here, even when I do not feel like it. And god (I do not believe in god, it is just a figure of speech) knows I have acted as polite as it was humanly possible for me, with a few exceptions here and there. When I came here, in my early days, I was told by someone in chat I should not assume, that it was a bad thing to do, that I should not put words and thoughts into the mouths of others even if they were to confirm it immediately after. What aches me now however, is the fact that for the first time recently, I am absolutely sure I have done nothing wrong; Therefore, no, you do not get to pick on me, you do not get to judge, you don’t have such rights as a given, they are earned slowly over time; There are only three people in the world that hold such rights now, and only one of them is on this site, but guess what? You are not one of them. You do not get to assume what I might have wanted to say, or think, or do, at least not until I actually do make a mistake. Even as far as I am from a perfectionist, I still do know so much about being polite, I have bowed my head down enough times for it to hurt my back already. It was the right thing to do by my own set of rules, and therefore I had no hard feelings about acting that way. This is the first time I found myself seriously offended by the assumptions of another, when it comes to this place that is. I have equal respect for everyone on this site, no matter are you a newbie who joined three days ago, a hardcore veteran player who has been here for over a year, or even a founder who actually gave birth to a big part of this place; Such mindset requires me to ask the same respect from those around me, and even while they might not comply to my expectations, it would not hurt them to at least try. So I tell you one more time, commit your rightful anger, wrath or whatever elsewhere, I am not your chew toy, and I sure as hell am not the target you should turn to once you go all ballistic and have a twitchy eye. One more thing I remember about this weird turn of events are some sentences I have read; when my AS application was turned down (and the founders were right to do so, no argument here), I can remember a certain someone telling me how I do not stick up for myself enough, and that was one of the reasons I was not fit to make an AS. My brain can comprehend that much, yes, but does that someone ever notice just how intimidating his/her presence really is? Do they ever take note of their own actions? Do they ever think of the consequences of their actions over someone? I DO know how to stick for myself, but I have picked not to be so drastic, I have chosen the line of lesser resistance in order to make my time here more enjoyable to both you and I. It was mostly a good choice up until this point in time, where I found myself being a wimpy pushover who lets others bitch around him without voicing any pressing matters that linger in my own mind. You have however abused my good will, you might not notice that with your ego being great as well, but I can’t play the nice guy anymore. You think you know what it means to bitch about something? Yes, you probably do, but get another fact inside that thick head of yours, you can’t always be right. Seriously, it is physically and mentally impossible… Before today, I have never wrote a single rant like this one in my life, but if things like this continue to happen, I will probably write some angry piece of words like this one. You know what the funny thing is? It was not even your actions that set off a chain reaction in my brain and caused it to respond the way it did; It was a more pressing matter in my private life that made me anxious even before you were “expressing your gratitude” over my all so bad behavior. Your misconception was simply one drop too much, and so it forced me to spit out all that pride I have swallowed over time, and it might be hypocritical, yes, but if that much is true, try and tell yourself, what exactly does that make you?