Hi.
This is a one-off scrap, probably. I have actually debated this over and over, trying to figure out what to do. Anyway, I've decided that I need to let people know the following:
I joined Mizahar with this character recently, except I'm not a new player (which was the impression I was trying to give), I am actually a returning player: probably most would know me as Ssanya when I was playing that PC, or Sarah in real life.
I was trying to give the impression of being a new character, because a) I was embarrassed, and b) I'm stupid. I never really left Mizahar officially, but I did kind of slide off the radar. I dropped threads left, right and centre, stopped talking to people via Discord who were my friends. I 'left'. I lurked. I worked on other things. That was why I was embarrassed. I'm not very good at communication, I mess up my words and how I explain things, and I'm terrible at remembering to reply to people.
It was stupid of me to try to deceive people in the first place. My initial thoughts making Ennisa was, oh it's just the internet, it doesn't matter, which was flippant and pretty ridiculous. 'It doesn't matter'... except it does and as soon as I started to write again and lurk in the chat, (basically as soon as I started actually being here), I realised just how ridiculous a thought that is. I don't know what it is about Mizahar, but unlike most of the rest of the internet, here feels real. As in, real people, real stories, real feelings. As I wrote, my dishonesty felt ugly. So, I confess: I was dishonest, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry especially to Luminescence for being under your wing under false pretences.
And, I know, most if not all won't care much, if anything, about this announcement. I'm kind of cringing even as I write this because I sound so... dramatic, but I'm honestly not trying to be. I just knew that I needed to say this, and stop being such a coward.
Anyway, I'm just going to write and enjoy reading other people's threads. Reading was something I definitely undervalued last time I was here!