“Friendship is worth more than personal safety, don’t you think?”
Personal safety was all Autumn had wanted Maro to be concerned about. He, like most men, was unobservant and hadn’t caught on to her subtle hints as to what her wishes were. Instead, he had poured his efforts into making the world a little brighter for those around him, a little less sad, even if he didn’t know them. That, and into Autumn. His chiefest concern had always been her happiness, and his existence had revolved around each next attempt to make her smile.
She wished Maro could have lived a long, healthy life, even if that meant he had never known her, but something about that thought stopped her mid wish. Once he had thought the same of her, and she had chastised him for it. Maro, in all his oddities and lack of wisdom, was the best thing to ever happen to her and the worst. Undoubtedly, the most profound. The joy he brought to her existence was unfathomable, but that only made his loss all the more difficult to bear.
Friendship had meant everything to Autumn, but a lack of concern for personal safety had taken him from her, had taken his friendship with the loss of his life. Being dead gave her a different perspective. A misguided sense of altruism and heroism had left her alone, but the living could be stubborn. Autumn pressed no further on the matter.
But as stubborn as Ennisa was, she knew she needed help. From the sounds of it, she had tried this before, and for obvious reason, Autumn could tell it hadn’t worked. Ennisa was willing to trust Autumn, for Itzi’s sake.
“Itzi didn’t listen the last time,” Ennisa admitted. “You’re someone who can back me up. She will just have to see past your… form.”
With that, Ennisa led them into the home, into Itzi’s prison. That thought terrified and repulsed Autumn. A home should never be a prison, but she knew it happened often. Inside, there was the sound of someone sniffling coming from a doorway on the right, and Ennisa crept forward, her hand set on the grip of her dagger and her voice calling for her friend. It didn’t take long, but anticipation made it longer.
And then, there was Itzi. Here was everything they had fought for, and Autumn had to admit she didn’t find the woman impressive. In fact, Itzi was the opposite of that. The woman was curled into a desolate ball in sheets stained with sweat, her head on a pillow stained with tears. Exhaustive possession had a stench to it, foul and insidious. Not that Autumn actually smelled anything, but it was the closest sense she could come up with to describe the experience to the living. It was as if the soul had been so displaced from control of its own body that it was losing its attachment. The scent she caught was that of the soul bleeding out past the edges of the body. It was an unnatural thing, almost as unnatural as the ghosts who caused it.
But when Ennisa walked through the door, Itzi’s eyes lit up with recognition. Hope came with it, and Itzi opened her mouth to say something when she saw Autumn hovering behind her friend. Whatever she had to say died on her lips, smothered by fear, but Ennisa was by her side in a moment to comfort her.
What Autumn had feared came true. “Make her go away, Enni.”
Autumn shouldn’t have come. If Itzi was resistant already, leaving her feeling threatened would only make her more so. Ennisa tried once more to calm her friend, but her emotion ran high, and desperation stole her ability to think.
She did something Autumn wasn’t prepared for. Ennisa asked her for help. “Make her see, Autumn.”
For a moment, Autumn didn’t know what to do. There were ways a ghost could make someone see. She had heard of ghost who, through possession, could transfer memories to another, and what she had seen today would tell Itzi everything she needed to know. But Autumn didn’t have the know how to do that. Even as the thought crossed her mind, she realized that was not what Ennisa had asked her for. It wasn’t ‘Make her see.’ It was ‘Make her see.’
She looked at the two living women before her and saw them, truly saw them for who they were. Both were broken and scared, one by what had happened to her, the other by what had happened to the one she held dearest. They were scared, frightened. Children.
Children she knew. Children she could understand and relate to, and in seeing the two this way, Autumn’s heart broke for them.
She moved toward the two on the bed, reining in her chaotic mists despite her fear and frustration and anger to give the room a sense of calm. Her blue eyes were soft, full of the kind of sorrow that could only come from the understanding of experiencing something similar.
“Itzi, I’m not here to hurt you. I can’t call you friend, because we’ve never met. One day, maybe we will be. But I know you have no reason to trust me. I only ask you to hear me out. Please. I’m not here to hurt you.”
Itzi just shrank deeper into the wall, clutched the hand in hers even more tightly. She didn’t shriek. She didn’t fight. She didn’t run.
Autumn took that as a good sign and went on. “I know it can be difficult to see past your love for someone. It happened to me, before I died, but I saw the person my lover claimed to be for what he truly was, and it saved me. I’m not accusing. I know you love him. Perhaps, he loves you too.”
It was dangerous to give Clement any credibility for Itzi to latch on to, but to call him what he was would only further alienate Itzi from her. She needed Itzi to hear her. Not just hear, but listen.
“I can tell you’ve been possessed and not just once. Your soul has a feeling to it. It is tired. You are tired. I understand. Did you have a choice?”
Autumn didn’t let the question sit long. “Itzi, did he tell you you had to do things?”
The point was not whether he had asked, cajoled, or forced. It had happened, so Autumn didn’t let this question sit long either.
“How many times did he let her enter you?” She didn’t ask, but other questions were implied. How many times was he inside you? How many times did they enter you together?
It was rape. Even if Clement had never touched her, what Laure had done was rape of the soul. Autumn imagined the ghost wasn’t the only offender though. Rape. Something in Autumn’s soul snapped at that. Disgust. Dirty. Hopeless. She felt those things, and an audible crack split the air at the leap of her mist. Itzi pressed closer to Ennisa, but Autumn calmed herself and the mists around her once again. Tears materialized and ran down her face.
“Itzi, do you know how many times Ennisa will let me enter you?”
Itzi’s nails dug into Ennisa’s arms in fear of the answer.
“None.” Autumn sighed. “Even if you tell her you’re not leaving, she won’t let me force you. She wouldn’t let me violate you. I don’t know about Clement, but I do know Ennisa. She loves you. I can’t make you do anything. I can’t make you see. I can only show you and let you use your own two eyes.” |
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